My ex is liking pics of me that I'm tagged in on facebook

[Rebeca]

I posted recently a thread about our breakups. I was in a 2 years old relationship and he dumped me 4 months ago. We are both 19. He made me feel like I was to be blamed for the downfall of the relationship. As for his personality and character, I think he is bipolar. He can be so sweet and charming and I know that deep inside he's not a bad guy and doesn't have bad intentions. But he is so manipulative, egoistic, bad-tempered and he rarely would recognize his mistakes. I did some begging and pleading.

 

Anyway, he came back after a month professing me his love for me and acting like I shouldn't be so upset for the breakup because he didn't cheat on me and others have it worse ( ?? ). I accepted him. After a month we fought again and I broke up with him because he was insulting me so badly and saying mean things to me. I panicked and I withdrew, overwhelmed of the thought that he is not changing and that he might break up with me again. I regretted it the next day, I begged for him. It was a mess. By wanting him back the next day I basically indirectly and without intention made him believe that I was indeed the one at fault and that he didn't do anything wrong. The argument happend on face book chat. Everyone I show those messages say that he is over reacting and being a drama queen, insulting me and being aggressive. We didn't end it on good terms. ( ?? ) He just said that he forgives me and than ignored me entirely.

 

Anyway. It is 2 months since our last breakup. I unfriended him. First time in 2 months I saw him at a party. He was surprised to see me ,he nodded at me as in "hi", making little eye contact but that was it. He ignored my presence all night after that.

 

The thing is, he is liking all the time photos that I am tagged in with our mutual friends (mainly my friends that became his too on face book but not so close friends with him in reality). I looked at other photos of these friends, pics I don't appear in, selfies and profile pictures. He rarely to never give them likes-maybe just as a mutual face book convention to give likes to profile pictures when they are changed, occasionally. I am convinced that he was liking those pictures I mentioned just because I was in them.

 

Now the question: Is he doing this because he wants to get my attention but he is too stubborn to approach me? Or is he genuinely happy that I'm moving on and having fun? Or he doesn't think at all that far and is in fact just giving likes because I am a person he knows?

 

He is quite an intelligent person and seems very mature at times. But he is also very childish at other times and just like I described him above. I really think he's bipolar and a witty manipulator but I can't believe that after so many promises he made, after he told me so sincerely that he loved me, he just let me go so easily a second time.

 

So, what about those pics?

[Edmund Exley]

Unfriend and block. Immediately.

[Rebeca]

Well, he is unfriended. Not blocked, though. But what do you think of his actions?

[Edmund Exley]

Well, he is unfriended. Not blocked, though. But what do you think of his actions?

 

Nothing. But who needs it? Block him.

[qwaspolk82]

I posted recently a thread about our breakups. I was in a 2 years old relationship and he dumped me 4 months ago. We are both 19. He made me feel like I was to be blamed for the downfall of the relationship. As for his personality and character, I think he is bipolar. He can be so sweet and charming and I know that deep inside he's not a bad guy and doesn't have bad intentions. But he is so manipulative, egoistic, bad-tempered and he rarely would recognize his mistakes. I did some begging and pleading.

 

Anyway, he came back after a month professing me his love for me and acting like I shouldn't be so upset for the breakup because he didn't cheat on me and others have it worse ( ?? ). I accepted him. After a month we fought again and I broke up with him because he was insulting me so badly and saying mean things to me. I panicked and I withdrew, overwhelmed of the thought that he is not changing and that he might break up with me again. I regretted it the next day, I begged for him. It was a mess. By wanting him back the next day I basically indirectly and without intention made him believe that I was indeed the one at fault and that he didn't do anything wrong. The argument happend on face book chat. Everyone I show those messages say that he is over reacting and being a drama queen, insulting me and being aggressive. We didn't end it on good terms. ( ?? ) He just said that he forgives me and than ignored me entirely.

 

Anyway. It is 2 months since our last breakup. I unfriended him. First time in 2 months I saw him at a party. He was surprised to see me ,he nodded at me as in "hi", making little eye contact but that was it. He ignored my presence all night after that.

 

The thing is, he is liking all the time photos that I am tagged in with our mutual friends (mainly my friends that became his too on face book but not so close friends with him in reality). I looked at other photos of these friends, pics I don't appear in, selfies and profile pictures. He rarely to never give them likes-maybe just as a mutual face book convention to give likes to profile pictures when they are changed, occasionally. I am convinced that he was liking those pictures I mentioned just because I was in them.

 

Now the question: Is he doing this because he wants to get my attention but he is too stubborn to approach me? Or is he genuinely happy that I'm moving on and having fun? Or he doesn't think at all that far and is in fact just giving likes because I am a person he knows?

 

He is quite an intelligent person and seems very mature at times. But he is also very childish at other times and just like I described him above. I really think he's bipolar and a witty manipulator but I can't believe that after so many promises he made, after he told me so sincerely that he loved me, he just let me go so easily a second time.

 

So, what about those pics?

 

If you block him he can't see anything about you. There you go. Problem solved. He won't see that you are tagged. He can't see you comment on their pages.

 

Who cares why he is "liking" them or what he does or doesn't like on other pictures? I think you're looking to far into this.

[Edmund Exley]

Well, he is unfriended. Not blocked, though. But what do you think of his actions?

 

Actually, I'm going to re-answer. I think that his actions are doing exactly what he hoped, as here you are looking for advice on them.

[Wiseman2]

It may be best to avoid him, delete him, block him from everywhere and of course go no contact.

 

Kind of arrogant, no?

I shouldn't be so upset for the breakup because he didn't cheat on me and others have it worse ( ?? )

[HeartGoesOn]

Why did you "un- friend" him, especially after the way he was treating you?

[Rebeca]

You ask why didn't I go even further and block him, right? Well, I don't know...I still have feelings for him. I talked about it in the other thread. I know, stupid me >.

[Edmund Exley]

You ask why didn't I go even further and block him, right? Well, I don't know...I still have feelings for him. I talked about it in the other thread. I know, stupid me >.

 

Please block him. Then spend some time getting in touch with your own value and self worth.

[MissCanuck]

You yourself said he is manipulative.

 

He knows how to push your buttons and get you going, it seems. And if he's "liking" your photos, that's probably why. He knows you'll read into it.

 

The better question is why are you reading into it? It takes all of 2 seconds to click "like" - that's not exactly a sign of anything. You are searching for signs he still thinks about you and wants you, but why would you want a guy you describe as foul-tempered and egotistical? He probably enjoys the fact that you still want him, while he continues to live the life of a young, single guy. Be very wary of any guy who toys with you. They often do it when they're not getting attention from new girls, so they rely on the fallback for an ego stroke - their exes who are still in love.

 

You need to block him or you will get sucked into this cycle again and again, and it will hurt more and more every time.

[Wiseman2]

He keeps dumping you. Too bad they don't have college courses "dating 101" : Don't worship anyone who treat you like garbage.

 

When you don't respect yourself, no one else will.

You ask why didn't I go even further and block him, right? Well, I don't know...I still have feelings for him.

[Rebeca]

I understand what you are saying. I just don't know why would he act this way. I am shocked, because as bad of a boyfriend as he was sometimes, I know for sure that he loved me from all his heart, he chased me a lot at the begging and there were a lot of times still when he treated me very well. To know that now he is consciously toying with my emotions just because he is feeling lonely, is really hurting me. He should have just cut all contact with me if he saw me that bad of a person.

 

I am so confused. I don't even know what to believe in. One moment I think he really cares and loves me, others I think he is really just looking for hurting me. The problem is, he never acted so bad before. I trusted his judgement so many times in the past because I see him above me. I feel like it is my fault that I probably wasn't hard enough on him because I was always afraid I might lose him. He is very intimidating and makes me questioning my sanity. I don't know if it is because I have a terrible self-esteem and he got used to that, or because he is in nature a very manipulative person. He tends to be manipulative with others too, but not that much, though.

 

I just feel like I broke my relationship because I don't consider myself a strong person and I get very easily intimidated by him. Maybe he wanted to get the thrill of the fight, maybe he wanted to see me determined and ready to stand for my opinions, not be ready to give in into his. But then again, if I tried explaining to him logically my opinion and being firm about what I believe in , without insulting him, he would just grow more intimidating and aggressive. I feel like whatever I do, he sees it wrong. And the problem is that he is accusing me of the same thing. That I always put the burden on his shoulder. I explained it in the other thread I posted 1 day ago. But you know, I always end up apologizing to him. How could I put the blame on him?

 

After we got together 3 months ago, I actually said that I don't want him to feel bad and that I want to work at what he thinks ruined our relationship because of my role in it. And he just let me go so easily.

 

Sorry for repeating myself. I'm just so hurt and I try to forget him but I am afraid I will never find someone that has his good parts that I fell in love with. And it hurts knowing I wasn't good enough for him. Being more determined, being more confident, maybe being as smart as he is. I don't consider myself stupid, not at all. But I am afraid that is how he sees me. And I allowed it so blindly.

 

Thank you for your advice.

[ParisPaulette]

He can be so sweet and charming and I know that deep inside he's not a bad guy and doesn't have bad intentions. But he is so manipulative, egoistic, bad-tempered and he rarely would recognize his mistakes.

 

You do realize that a) those two descriptions make no sense side-by-side about the same person AND b) people who are abusive or have serious emotional and/or mental issues that make them mistreat others nearly always have a charming side. It's why abusers, sociopaths, serial killers, general a-holes all around are able to exist in life, sometimes for an entire lifetime, without consequences to their actions while they continue to hoover people in and damage them with little or no care in the world for what they're doing.

 

So he's charming when he wants something, so what? Big deal, so was Ted Bundy. But his overall actions should have shown you by now that he can turn that charm off when he's got what he wants, that he is not above being mean to you when it suits him, that he manipulates you and others simply to get what he wants. That when he wants to he drops the nice act, fast, and shows you how little respect or regard he has for you at all.

 

So you tell me again, how it is you "know" "that deep inside he's not a bad guy and doesn't have bad intentions"? Because all I see from everything you've written here is just someone who knows how to use flattery to get what he wants then to mistreat you until you come back for more when he's "nice" again.

 

I'm sorry, you need to block and delete him and do some reading up on what red flags are, how to spot them, how not to get taken in by someone displaying them.

 

All the "charm" and "niceness" in the world can't make up for someone who treats you mean when it suits them. You need to stop making excuses for this guy. I saw nothing nice or charming about your descriptions of him, just one more sociopath or jerk or people user the world already doesn't need.

[MissCanuck]

OP, a man who really loves you wouldn't have treated you the way he did.

 

You might have been in love with him, but the feeling wasn't mutual anymore. When you love good "parts" of the person in an attempt to ignore the signficant bad parts, you have a problem.

 

This was dysfunctional. Time to let him go forever.