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Is He Cheating on Her? Is He Toying with Me?

ClaireDarling

By ClaireDarling
in Infidelity

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ClaireDarling Enthusiast

ClaireDarling

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Hello, everyone. I'm going to try to keep this short.

 

Back in spring, I started talking to a guy I met online (he went to my school) and we only exchanged a few messages before I stopped responding due to talking to another guy and just simply forgetting to respond.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I saw him posting more online, so I messaged him and we actually started talking a lot. Back when we first started talking, he mentioned having a friend with benefits, so just making conversation, I asked if he still had that going on, he said no and that he actually has a girlfriend now.

For this next part to make sense, I have to let you know that he and I both actually have blogs dedicated to our own various sexual interests and kinks.

We started talking about those things. Not in regards to each other, but more of less asking questions to see what each other liked. For about a week straight we would stay up until 4am just talking about those sort of things.

He would often mention his girlfriend and how some things she couldn't or wouldn't do. But always in a loving and supportive way, as to say she can't, but that's fine with me.

Anyway, after a few days of this (usually him messaging me first thing in the morning and all through out the day), I started to feel weird about it because I kind of started to enjoy his company. And there was a point when he reposted a few things from my blog and his girlfriend got upset and instead of consoling her, he still continued to talk to me.

We exchanged snapchats and one (really bad judgement here on my part) we sort of shared a bit too much of ourselves.

The next day after a few messages, I told him I couldn't do that and that it's not okay what we've been doing and he agreed and said he'd leave me alone if I'd like and he'd also support me in finding a partner.

That didn't last long because we were back to talking the next day. We agreed to meet up and have lunch (which went well, nothing inappropriate). Afterwards, we didn't actually text much but he called me adorable and I guess when he realized I wasn't planning on stopping talking to him, we kept talking like normal.

A few days ago, on the site we met, I saw one user had a really nice icon so I messaged them and told them I liked it and she responded with a thank you and that I was the one who's been talking to her boyfriend a lot. It wasn't hostile or anything. She just said it matter of factly. I told him I was talking to *username* and he didn't let on that he knew that was his girlfriend , but later he asked how my conversation was going and I said, "oh with your girlfriend? It's nice!" Which it actually was. We actually spent a few hours talking. He only responded with three winking faces with the tongues out.

I decided to hang out with a guy friend and I told him that I was and he seemed really supportive, but weirdly interested in what we did. The next day I didn't hear from him at all and when I finally did message him, he said he was going to a friend's house to drink and I assumed a guy friend, but apparently it was a girl. He also asked me if I planned on having my guy friend over again. When I said no (because we didn't click) he just said aw and that hopefully I'll find someone better.

 

From then on, he hasn't messaged me first. He's really hard to carry on a conversation with and he claims he's just busy and trying to stay away from the Internet for a while.

 

I don't know what's going on. I know this is a terrible situation and I need to see myself out of it, but what is actually going on?

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ThatwasThen Grand Master

ThatwasThen

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The next day after a few messages, I told him I couldn't do that and that it's not okay what we've been doing and he agreed and said he'd leave me alone if I'd like and he'd also support me in finding a partner.

That didn't last long because we were back to talking the next day. We agreed to meet up and have lunch (which went well, nothing inappropriate).

How can you say that nothing inappropriate went on when you know he has a girlfriend and you are starting to have feelings of lust and infatuation for him? The very fact you met up with him knowing he's taken and you are attracted is inappropriate.

 

What is going on? It sounded like he was setting you up to be the third in a threesome but his girlfriend isn't keen to do it with you so he's onto the next prospect. That's my guess in a multitude of only guesses you'll get here.

 

What's important to your own well being: Get yourself away from him and start conversing with someone that is free to be had. You'll not be so confused by a single guy.

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ThatwasThen Grand Master

ThatwasThen

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No, I don't believe there was anything about threesomes.

One of the very first questions we asked each other was about how we view relationships. He said he was open to poly relationships and his girlfriend wasn't at all.

 

It honestly didn't seem like that was a part of it at all.

Then its clear. He was priming you to be the chick on the side and then once he met you, perhaps the connection wasn't there and so now he's distancing himself. You should be glad he's fading. Continuing on with him is not healthy for you. Stop wondering and just let it fade. HE.HAS.A.GIRLFRIEND. and she's not open to sharing.
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MissCanuck Grand Master

MissCanuck

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This an easy one: he was seeing if you would be his side-piece. So to answer the question in the title of your thread, yes, he is toying with you. And it's working.

 

He sounds like a colossal tool. And it was inappropriate to even meet this guy in person, OP. Forget about him. He's lost interest and that's a good thing.

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ClaireDarling Enthusiast

ClaireDarling

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I guess he is toying with me. I deleted his messages and didn't plan on talking to him, but he messaged me. Held a conversation for a little bit and then went on to like and repost probably over 25 of my most recents posts on my blog (tumblr). All of which were sexual. Last time he did that, his girlfriend got upset. But now, post after post has my name on the top of it. And when I tried to talk to him after he did all of that, he just kept sending smiley faces. No conversation.

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MissCanuck Grand Master

MissCanuck

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I guess he is toying with me. I deleted his messages and didn't plan on talking to him, but he messaged me. Held a conversation for a little bit and then went on to like and repost probably over 25 of my most recents posts on my blog (tumblr). All of which were sexual. Last time he did that, his girlfriend got upset. But now, post after post has my name on the top of it. And when I tried to talk to him after he did all of that, he just kept sending smiley faces. No conversation.

 

Block and delete him in every way you can.

 

He's a total creep - why are you allowing him to have any access to you?

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ThatwasThen Grand Master

ThatwasThen

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I guess he is toying with me. I deleted his messages and didn't plan on talking to him, but he messaged me. Held a conversation for a little bit and then went on to like and repost probably over 25 of my most recents posts on my blog (tumblr). All of which were sexual. Last time he did that, his girlfriend got upset. But now, post after post has my name on the top of it. And when I tried to talk to him after he did all of that, he just kept sending smiley faces. No conversation.

What about "he has a girlfriend" do YOU not understand? He's distancing himself because he doesn't want to rock the boat with his girlfriend.

 

What is your motive here?

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