He just stopped texting

[Lotusavx]

I met this guy on a dating website and we texted for about a week and a half and everything was going great. He seemed really nice and cool and he never got sexual like most guys from dating sites do. He seemed really respectful and nice. He messaged me first on the website, and he was the one who texted me everyday and asked how my day was. We had plans to meet up and go for a coffee, and we both seemed really excited to finally meet. So the night our date was supposed to be (we agreed when we were both done work that day to figure out what time to make the date for) I texted him asking what time we should meet up. He never texted back all night, never messaged me this morning explaining any excuse or something that came up. I haven't messaged him at all but still nothing from him. I went on the dating site we met on and it says he was online. Why would this guy all of a sudden stop texting me and not confirm our date? I didn't say or do anything wrong or come across as needy, I really just want to know why guys get cold feet, if thats what happened.

[missmarple]

Was he the one who had asked for the date?

[Wiseman2]

Catfish, fake, time-waster, multidater, etc. Good idea to meet asap and minimize texting prior to meeting. Flakes happen a lot, just move on to the next and keep texts about meeting, not "how was your day?" etc. It has nothing to do with you.

Why would this guy all of a sudden stop texting me and not confirm our date?.

[Maximus007]

In online dating, your goal needs to be to meet up as reasonably soon as possible. Otherwise, this can happen. Texting for that long can go stale. It’s prob not about something you said or did. He could also be busy or unsure, planning his next move. Most likely though, you’re competing with someone else for his time and he may be leaning in investing his time and energy in that direction right now. He still might contact you.

 

Since you’re a girl, you receive more emails than an average guy. Start talking to another person you’re interested in. Good luck.

[j.man]

Yup. Sounds like the OL' CATFISH.

 

As the two fine young gentlemen above me have already suggested, it's best to keep texting to a minimum. For one, it filters out a lot of people who are on there just for the attention (generally, taken people who want affirmation but don't want to physically cheat). And for another, even if you do happen to get catfished, you haven't built up expectations.

 

Really, an ice breaker and a couple jokes are all you really need exchanging prior to meeting up. Have fun with it.

[jujusamples]

I met this guy on a dating website and we texted for about a week and a half and everything was going great. He seemed really nice and cool and he never got sexual like most guys from dating sites do. He seemed really respectful and nice. He messaged me first on the website, and he was the one who texted me everyday and asked how my day was. We had plans to meet up and go for a coffee, and we both seemed really excited to finally meet. So the night our date was supposed to be (we agreed when we were both done work that day to figure out what time to make the date for) I texted him asking what time we should meet up. He never texted back all night, never messaged me this morning explaining any excuse or something that came up. I haven't messaged him at all but still nothing from him. I went on the dating site we met on and it says he was online. Why would this guy all of a sudden stop texting me and not confirm our date? I didn't say or do anything wrong or come across as needy, I really just want to know why guys get cold feet, if thats what happened.

 

I'm sorry to tell you that, it's called online dating! That's why the number one rule is to ask to meet the person right away! Don't keep texting and chatting over email messages for too long. Like other posters are saying, CATFISH. I wouldn't take it too personally, just let it go. It happens all the time with online dating. No one is obligated to anything. I hope you learn the lesson for next time. Don't keep chatting, ask to meet in person before you put yourself out there. Alot of feelings will be hurt the more you keep chatting to someone you don't know whom your chatting with. You will be surprise whom is on the other side communicating with you. It's not always whom you imagine it to be. Next time if the person makes up excuses for not meeting up than cut your losses and move on.

[Ms Darcy]

Catfish, fake, time-waster, multidater, etc. Good idea to meet asap and minimize texting prior to meeting. Flakes happen a lot, just move on to the next and keep texts about meeting, not "how was your day?" etc. It has nothing to do with you.

 

I agree. Just remember, it's not REAL until you have actually met the guy. You said "I met a guy on a dating site ... " Well, no you didn't. I know it seems minor, but if you remember that you haven't met him you will remember not to type yourself into a fantasy connection.

[mongrola80]

I've had this happen quite a few times with online dating. Make a connection online, exchange phone numbers, let the texting begin. It's kind of fun to have an immediate partner and texting gives that feeling of instant gratification. Then we would meet, and most of the time, there just wouldn't be a connection at all. Now when i do online dating, I don't give them my phone number until after our first date. Online dating can be such a pain in the arse.

[j.man]

I've had this happen quite a few times with online dating. Make a connection online, exchange phone numbers, let the texting begin. It's kind of fun to have an immediate partner and texting gives that feeling of instant gratification. Then we would meet, and most of the time, there just wouldn't be a connection at all. Now when i do online dating, I don't give them my phone number until after our first date. Online dating can be such a pain in the arse.

Well, at least you started on an agreeable note. The texting is nothing short of instant gratification without substance.

 

However, online dating is actually the easiest ****ing thing in the world. Seriously. "Hey, how are you? I liked [insert detail] about your profile. And, I must say, I completely agree with you that people who like pineapple on pizza are nearly as despicable as the people who bid $1 over the previous guy on the Price is Right. How about coffee at [this place] at [this time]?"

 

BOOM. SOMEONE tell me how difficult that is. I dare you. You meet them, they suck or they don't. C'mon. It's not the tool, folks. It's the user. Learn to use it, don't depend exclusively on it, and it's smooth sailing.

[greta96]

As others said, it goes with the territory of online dating. Ghosting is very common, and it has nothing to do with anything you did/didn't do. What happens usually is that the person you've been chatting with had no intention to ever meet in person to begin with, and only created the online profile to pass some time and kill their boredom. Second reason, IMO, is that online dating is like window shopping, now you like something, tomorrow you may see and like something else better... it's a very flakey world and you need a very, very thick skin to be able not to take anything personal.

[limichelle]

It's an easy way also to message as many people you want without the other person knowing. Not that I've ever done that but it sounds like in ops case this guy was talking to multiple people at the same time. Also I think people on those sites copy and paste their catch phrase and just use that for every message they send to someone.

 

I hate to say it op sounds like he was being 'interested' in just about everyone.

 

Lisa

[ParisPaulette]

Yep, what everyone else is saying. Keep in mind a) you cannot get excited and think "insta-relationship" when you haven't even met the person and shouldn't do that anyways until you've dated them long enough to get to really know them and no texting doesn't count and b) when I was doing OLD I kept texting or any contact that would build up a false sense of intimacy to a minimum as well as push to meet within 2 weeks if the other person seemed to be someone I might want to date. After two weeks I cut them loose no matter what their excuse was, because if you cannot manage to meet someone within 2 weeks of being on a dating site where the express purpose is and should be to meet people and go out with them then I wasn't going to waste my time or theirs no matter how amazing it all looked.

 

Texting is the laziest form of interaction anyways. And it's just too easy for the "oh we have so much in common, yeah me too, I also like...no way I too collect..." lines to be typed out with no way for you to know if it's even true.

 

Bottom line this guy is likely running the numbers and he goes on dates with whoever is the most likely candidate for him OR he's not as single or just likes the attention as others have said.

 

All your really know is he can't keep a date even though he's on a dating website supposedly to date others. And to go out of communication? Totally inexcusable. Write him off, block, delete, move on to the next guy on the list. There are plenty of people out there who want the same things you do and you have to be willing to toss everyone else who isn't over the side so you can keep your path clear to finding possible mates.

 

Good luck, don't let this one waste your time. He is not worth it, because you don't even know the guy and he can't make a simple date happen.

[SherrySher]

These things can happen. He might have thought you seemed okay but then found a "better deal". It's rude and not nice but just take it as a part of online dating and go find someone else as well who will hopefully be better.

[gypsybird87]

And, I must say, I completely agree with you that people who like pineapple on pizza are nearly as despicable as the people who bid $1 over the previous guy on the Price is Right.

 

If I saw this response, I'd know I finally found my soulmate.

 

 

OP, the best thing you can do with online dating is keep your expectations realistic. Viewing profiles is like looking at car ads. You're getting some info, but you don't really know anything until you get out of the house and go for a test drive. Treat online interactions with less importance. Use it as a tool to find someone interesting enough to simply *meet*, person to person. Then when you meet, (I don't even really think of it as a 'first date') that's when you get an idea if there is any connection, and that this person would be fun to date.

 

Relax. As jman said, it's a tool. Nothing more.