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Lotusavx

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  1. I think I am upset because it's been a few months, and he hasn't really needed space.. he wanted me around and enjoyed having me around during a difficult time. Yes, he told me he would be coming to get his stuff at some point, and I also told him to come get it, there were many text messages exchanged, but it was him first who said he would come get it. I agreed and told him to.
  2. I assumed he is breaking up because he asked to come get his stuff. If he just wanted space and wanted to continue when he's ready why would he be so urgent about getting his stuff back.
  3. I believe he is just using the "need space" because he doesn't want to be harsh and tell me honestly that something turned him off from me or that he lost interest. That's just the vibe I get, from knowing him. But I could be wrong.
  4. I was with this guy for about 3 months. He was someone who I was set up with. Recently before us dating, a parent passed away, and he is dealing with illness in his family. We spent a lot of time together and we both enjoyed each others company. I knew this was a difficult time for him, so I just focused on being there for him, not getting too emotional or expecting a lot from him. We did decide to be exclusive about a month in. He did a lot of thoughtful things that showed he cared, and he always told me how he thought I was gorgeous and how he enjoyed my company. His actions spoke louder than his words. For the past week, it's been difficult to reach him, we have hardly seen each other and every time I asked if he wanted to get together he would avoid it completely. Today I texted him saying how I was hurt that he didn't have any consideration for me. (This was after not hearing from him for nearly two days). He responded finally saying "I'm sorry, I really do like you, I'm not trying to be inconsiderate, I just don't know what to tell you. I just don't have the energy to be dealing with emotional stuff right now." He also said he feels terrible, and wants space for a bit and isn't seeing any other girls. I told him how I felt hurt that he led me on for three months and told him he can come get it his stuff. I know he isn't outright breaking up, but it really feels like he is, and I am considering it a breakup because I am going to move on from it and not wait around for him. I DO understand he is going through a lot right now and is emotionally unavailable which is why I didn't put a lot on him or expect much. I also think he is afraid to hurt me and truly does feel bad. I am just not sure if he was stringing me along because he was too nice to end things and I was a distraction for him in this tough time, or if he truly does need space emotionally. I don't know if he is just saying he needs space because he isn't into me physically or because of my personality. But if that was the case, why did he stick around for three months? I'm not terribly sad, just confused. Why do guys end things over text? Don't they have the decency to do it to your face, in a way that sort of honors what you had together?
  5. Yeah it it, and I know I put too much emotional investment in these guys. But this one is different. I haven't felt like this since I met my first ex who I was with for 4 years. Everything I felt when I first met him, I am feeling with this one.
  6. my friend set me up with a mutual friend. him and i have been hanging out and dating for the past couple weeks. i know its probably too soon, but i feel like i am falling for him. i don't know if he feels the same way about me. we had an honest conversation last night and he told me how he was so into his ex and did anything to get her to be his girlfriend. i just don't know if he feels like that about me, and if any guy does. i am honestly feeling kind of consumed, feeling very over whelmed by how much i like him. i am worried he doesn't feel this way, and i don't know how to bring it up to him about how i feel about him. i know it's way too soon to be thinking about being exclusive, but i need to stop thinking about him. i kind of just want to be honest and tell him how i feel about him, but am afraid he will reject it. what should i do, how should i tell him how i feel?
  7. My best friend set me up with one of her boyfriends friends. We have been on a few dates so far and everything seems to be going great. I feel terrible for him, because he just lost his dad a few weeks ago and is going through other difficult things in his life. Before setting me up, my friend told me the situation, and I told her it might be a bad time to date. He still wants to date and hangout and we have been seeing each other a lot, but I can't help but feel as though I am imposing on his life during this difficult time. I don't know how to tell him that, and I feel bad that I'm taking up his time, especially while he is still grieving his loss. I guess I am just not sure how to approach the situation. And I haven't yet asked what he is looking for or if he eventually wants a relationship. Any advice?
  8. I just wanted to say, I am not lazy or looking to not work, I enjoy working and I am a hard worker. I started a new job about 6 months ago. The job has grown extremely difficult, uncomfortable and is causing some major mental health and stress issues. I got this job and got a place close to it downtown in my city. I am actively looking for something new while working there, but I don't know how much longer I will last. I use to look forward to my previous job and didn't have so much dread - this isn't normal. I've missed so many days already due to "mental health" and "being sick" because it is terribly stressful. I am afraid that I will quit, in a fit unhappiness and dread. I live on my own and my expenses aren't too much, but I only have enough saved up to live for about 2 months. So I am trying to tough it out until I find something new, but I am afraid I might not last that long. I definitely wouldn't be happy being unemployed, and would use every ounce of effort to search for a new job, but it scares me to death if I couldn't find one, and ran out of money. The point is, I dread my job, it is affecting me mentally, and I've worked some tough jobs and never felt this way - usually have quite a thick skin when it comes to work. Any advice??
  9. I went on a date with this guy that works in the same building as me. We had a great date and a really good time. We ended up going back to his place, since he lives also a few buildings over from me. We just had a few drinks and played board games and he was really cool! Then his friend (who is a girl) gets there. I was just assuming that she dropped by early, because he told me they were going to a friends party later. We all hung out, played games and had a good time. When I went to use his washroom, he showed me where it was and we ended up making out a little. I didn't think anything of it. Then, I get back to the living room, they are both talking in the kitchen. All of a sudden, he tells me how they are in an "open" relationship, and that she didn't like that him and I were kissing, and that I have to leave. I was shocked! I asked him why he didn't tell me right away, and just got up and left, feeling humiliated. I don't know what the goal was here: if they wanted a threesome, or if they were polyamorous and sort of "feeling me out". But I told him that either way that he should have been honest with me from the very beginning. I have never been in a situation like this before, and I am humiliated, but I feel like he is in the wrong for not telling me right away. We were having a great date, and I didn't think anything of his "friend" dropping by, but I had no idea that she was scoping me out.
  10. / this article, the part about creating a "fake future" with him, made a lot of sense.
  11. He ended up coming over. I guess he was just busy. I was obviously over reacting. I guess it's just because I really like him and I notice this trend with guys, even if I didn't even do something that I can put my finger on that would have scared them off. I think I just have way too high of expectations, get attached too easily and overthink things. I guess I am also really use to disappointment when it comes to dating. I'm telling myself to just have no expectations. We didn't really talk about us in a relationship, but since he did recognize me from a dating site we are both on, we talked casually about what we would be looking for. Haven't slept with him yet too.
  12. It seems like this constantly happens. I meet a guy, things go great, and then he suddenly pulls away, with me having no idea what I could have done wrong. Recently, I moved to a new building and my neighbor asked me out. We have had a few dates and everything was great. We both talked about how we are eventually looking for a relationship, but decided to have no pressure between us, especially being neighbors. So everything was great, until yesterday. He hasn't been responding, not that I text him a lot. We had plans to hangout this morning, and normally he would message me in the morning since he does night shifts. Nothing. I understand people are busy, but it's just so weird how all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he stops talking to me. I am giving him space. I just don't know why this keeps happening, it's like a trend for me. I meet someone I like, we get along great, have a handful of great dates and then it stops. I can't think of anything I do/say that will turn someone off. In the past, I have gotten attached to the idea of a future with someone, that created expectations, and I start overthinking and looking too far into simple situations. But this time, I made sure not to have expectations and not get attached to a situation. I don't know what to do, since I really liked him. I made sure not to give off a "needy" vibe or anything. I just don't know why this keeps happening.
  13. hello. I am 21 years old and my boyfriend who I have lived with for 2.5 years and been with for a total of 4 has broken up and moved out of our apartment. I am very broken, so is he. We had a tumultuous relationship, mostly because I was so young (17) when it began. I had many issues that pushed him away, jealousy, insecurity which all got better over time, but didn't disappear completely. He had issues too, and we have broken up 3 times. This one is final. He was bi polar, hardly had a steady job if at all. People in my life are happy I am not reason (that I was too good for him in many people's eyes). But what I saw in him was a beautiful soul with a big heart and loving caring personality. Despite the rockiness of the relationship, it was good at times. I dealt with many self esteem issues through out our relationship. I feel like I put my happiness and well being in his hands and he couldn't deal with that. I stayed despite him treating me badly and dealing with his bi polar out bursts at times. I wouldn't even be mad about something, and he would take it the wrong way as if I'm being a , and flip out. Admittedly, I did cause most with my insecurities and jealousy. I can see that it wasn't good, as he would do many things that bothered me...have beers during the days, I couldn't stand his friends, stay out late with his buddies. I just got to not be able to stand his lifestyle. I felt it unfair that I was working full time and he was doing this and always in between jobs. But something always brought me back to him (maybe due to my low self esteem and that he was my first love). I always wanted him back, and despite him being the way he was, he always had way more logic than me when it came to how it was a toxic relationship at point and he was always the one to put his foot down and leave. So now, I am left with an apartment (lease was in my name for credit reasons), he has moved to his parents house and is going to find a place. I am moving in with my mom, and I'm starting college in September. I have a very hard time dealing with break ups. It's very painful to be in our apartment where we shared many good times, so I've been staying with friends and my mom and sister. I'm very broken, sad and having a hard time going to work. I feel like no matter what anyone says, I don't believe it will get any better. I have some temporary relief with talking to people and watching movies. I just feel like I will never get over it and always going over what went wrong. Living with my mom will be a huge transition, as I have been living with him since 18. I have learned to be independent and almost feel weird about being at home again. The strange thing is, that we are talking (though I know the no contact rule is imperative to healing) because we have to talk about where our stuff is going, our cat and our moving dates. But when we talk, we have a friendly, respectful connection together. He is almost helping me through it and telling me we will get through it, being very positive. It's making me feel good in a way, he made clear he still loves and cares deeply. It's not even giving me false hope of getting back together (because I know that won't happen) but it's like he is a good friend talking to me, helping me. Anyways, thank you for reading and any insight is very appreciated.
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