Is it a deal breaker for most women if a man does not believe in marriage?

[Seraphim]

So if people hurt you that is really not their issue either then?

 

That's kind of what's wrong with this world. A lot of people don't care if they hurt each other.

[Itchy]

Never say never is a belief of mine, because what we feel today can change tomorrow, like seasons change. We cannot forsee what's around the corner, no matter what we do, change is inevitable.

 

I have felt this way about marriage for a very long time and it hasn't changed. That's like saying my attitude towards casual sex will change and suddenly I'll start hopping from bed to bed. I know myself better than anyone and while I have changed my opinions about a great many things, aspects of relationships, marriage and sex have been very consistent.

 

So if people hurt you that is really not their issue either then?

 

That's kind of what's wrong with this world. A lot of people don't care if they hurt each other.

 

No it isn't because most people who have "hurt" me with their opinions in the past haven't done so with any intention, there was no malicious intent on their part and I was being sensitive. I just sucked it up and moved on like a mature adult. As I say I don't intentionally set out to hurt anyone but sometimes, someone will get hurt and well that's something they'll move on from.

[Snny]

I believe marriage is an outdated concept that should probably die, I then listed a whole host of reasons why I think this

If I had a single friend tell me this, it would rub me the wrong way. It would be very hard for me to not take it personal, like you are trashing on my happiness AND my own beliefs. I don't care how you would explain it, it's just not cool to do it to your friends.

 

Sometimes there are some details that are best unsaid. You need to be careful how you approach sensitive topics around people because it will leave a lasting impression.

[Itchy]

If I had a single friend tell me this, it would rub me the wrong way. It would be very hard for me to not take it personal, like you are trashing on my happiness AND my own beliefs. I don't care how you would explain it, it's just not cool to do it to your friends.

 

Sometimes there are some details that are best unsaid. You need to be careful how you approach sensitive topics around people because it will leave a lasting impression.

 

That's absolutely fine by me, at least I can look in the mirror and know that I mean what I say and say what I mean. It it means I have no friends then so be it. I prefer my own company. I spend most of my spare time on my own at leisure and in peace.

 

I think this topic has run its course and the thread should probably be closed.

[Jibralta]

I think you have your answer Itchy: It's not a deal breaker. Good luck in your search and don't let anyone bring you down.

[Itchy]

I think you have your answer Itchy: It's not a deal breaker. Good luck in your search and don't let anyone bring you down.

 

Thank you.

[lukeb]

If legal rights are all that you care about, then yeah you can just be happy with a civil union. But the reason why gays fought for marriage was because it meant more to them and they wanted that.

 

They wanted what exactly? I'm a gay guy and I think legal protection in long term relationships are very important but I could never figure out why so many gay people fought so hard for the word marriage although nobody could really define what that meant. We already had legal protection in Canada at least through common-law relationships. To me it all just seemed a feminist ploy to destroy marriage and family and allied gay rights groups were only too happy to help them. You're saying marriage meant more to them, I am just curious what you think that was.

[IAmFCA]

They wanted what exactly? I'm a gay guy and I think legal protection in long term relationships are very important but I could never figure out why so many gay people fought so hard for the word marriage although nobody could really define what that meant. We already had legal protection in Canada at least through common-law relationships. To me it all just seemed a feminist ploy to destroy marriage and family and allied gay rights groups were only too happy to help them. You're saying marriage meant more to them, I am just curious what you think that was.

 

To me, the importance of the word marriage is that we use it for hetero unions of any kind, and therefore it also applies to homo unions too. If we are advocating for a non-discriminatory policy, then hetero/homosexuality is irrelevant to the question.

[Fudgie]

To me, the importance of the word marriage is that we use it for hetero unions of any kind, and therefore it also applies to homo unions too. If we are advocating for a non-discriminatory policy, then hetero/homosexuality is irrelevant to the question.

 

Pretty much this, lukeb. This is what a gay friend told me. That having a civil union or domestic partnership wasn't enough, even if it were 100% equal in rights, they wanted the same thing that straight people get. No discrimination.

 

I'm not really someone who places a lot of sentimental value on marriage so I can't really speak about what it meant to them, just that it clearly meant something more because millions were indeed not happy with civil unions and the like.

 

But I am thankful now that my state has domestic partnerships for both gays and straights, allowing people the legal benefits of marriage without any of the pitfalls.

[lukeb]

Pretty much this, lukeb. This is what a gay friend told me. That having a civil union or domestic partnership wasn't enough, even if it were 100% equal in rights, they wanted the same thing that straight people get. No discrimination.

 

I guess I am confused where the discrimination is if domestic or civil partnerships are 100 equal in rights, are you saying the discrimination is in the word marriage itself? Most people especially on the left have accepted and believed the line that this was an issue about discrimination, without thinking about it, but I was never that convinced. When it was explained it was always explained in terms of equal rights, but as you say civil partnerships have the same rights.

 

Now like you I was never interested in the married life for myself but I have a soft spot for the conservative definition of marriage where only a man and a woman can create life and form a bond where they dedicate their lives to their children. Now we don't even have a word for it anymore, it used to be called marriage. Now gay marriage is only is small nail in the coffin to that ideology. The seeds for the family's destruction was laid well before the issue of gay marriage became popular to consider.

 

Yes gay couples can raise children and I guess two people are better than single parents as it is easier to pool resources but for the most part this is a red herring. When you consider gay people are probably only 5 % of the population and even a smaller percentage of that are in long term stable relationships, and even a smaller percentage of that even want children. Of the many gay couples I know I can't think of a single lesbian couple where there were two mommies. Heather doesn't have two mommies, she has a mommy and a daddy who who still had parental rights and mommy just happened to have a partner who is a woman. Most of the gay men couples with children also had them in previous relationships and most of these couples tend to be older than the lesbian couples. I can't think of a single lesbian couple where when they got married they got the father of the children of give up his rights and her partner got to adopt the children to call them her own. It is clear who the mommy is and who isn't. I can think of only one gay men couple that I know who actually adopted their children, they just recently adopted a second child, but this is exceptionally rare. In the gay sphere in a sense we are still talking about single parents, there is no question when they break up who happened to be the parent all along. Adoption is a good thing even in gay couples certainly but how many children are we talking about?

[Capricorn3]

Thread has run its course.