Hollyj Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Good God! This is the same ridiculous relationship! You come on here whining about this woman on a regular basis. How many times do we ALL need to advise you to end it????? Why do you love this drama so much??? Have you considered therapy? Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 The OP mentions among other things: She had a massive tantrum that i drop her at work, despite that adding 1 hour 20 onto my journey plus the 20 minutes moving would mean i had 1 hour 20 to do a 2 hour drive. She gave me such abuse when i dropped her at the station and said its this or nothing. And then never spoke to me for a week. 2) I took her on a date to Rome for 2 nights. We fell out the week before and she said to me "i dont ever want to talk to you again, but i do want to go to rome though" and off we went. Never mind gold-digger. Unhinged and rather deranged sounds more like it. OP. What's in this "relationship" for you? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 What you should have done was called off the date and told her bye bye. It's not that you suggested she take the train that's the problem. If she'd politely refused I would have said go pick her up and stop complaining. But she flipped out and called you a liar etc. Any trouble you have with her is on you now if you continue to see her. She's shown her true colors. PS In future remember the very start of dating someone is a very delicate time. Things that may be no big deal later in a relationship will absolutely kill it early on. So next time, unless she suggests otherwise, go pick a girl up. He's been with her for almost a year. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 The OP mentions among other things: She had a massive tantrum that i drop her at work, despite that adding 1 hour 20 onto my journey plus the 20 minutes moving would mean i had 1 hour 20 to do a 2 hour drive. She gave me such abuse when i dropped her at the station and said its this or nothing. And then never spoke to me for a week. 2) I took her on a date to Rome for 2 nights. We fell out the week before and she said to me "i dont ever want to talk to you again, but i do want to go to rome though" and off we went. Never mind gold-digger. Unhinged and rather deranged sounds more like it. OP. What's in this "relationship" for you? He says he can't find anyone else. Link to comment
j.man Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 He says he can't find anyone else.Well that settles it then. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 He must get something out of this mess. He will be back next week, complaining about this woman. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 OP. On another of your threads you remarked: Because we live so close, she travels as well, we have plans for every weekend. If we don't go forward with those plans then I am stuck sitting on my own in my work room (no internet, phone or TV), and i have that every day at work anyway (only computer access in the office). On another of your threads you remarked: "- I am a major dreamer of what ifs. What if we did sort it out, what if she did settle down, what if i am what she wanted. - I also have a big fear about "what if i dont find somebody good". As i get older, all my friends are settling down long term, all the girls that are still single are either too young, or have been around with a lot of guys. I don't like that. And drug use which is a major thing for me (seeing so many friends pass). It is like the given thing now, for everybody to be on coke or e or mdma now. I cant recall speaking to anybody who doesnt get involved in it and I worry that i will never find someone in the future that isnt a drug addict etc, even trying it in the past once is a major put off for me." Listen OP. I don't buy this: " I am stuck sitting on my own in my work room (no internet, phone or TV), and i have that every day at work anyway (only computer access in the office)." You travel all over the U.K. (you say) and yet no phone in your "room", no internet. Come on! You do not, I take it, live in a prison cell, because even in H.M. Prisons they have those facilities!!!!! OP. Planet Earth calling here loud and clear. Get your feet back on the ground, quit the dreaming, and honestly you do need to seek help for yourself. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 What type of people do you hang out with? I don't know anyone that does drugs. Have you considered meeting better quality people? You need to keep track of all of your stories, OP. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Yep, Holly. That's the sum of it. "You need to keep track of all of your stories, OP." Link to comment
DoF Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 You are not being smart about any of this to be honest. How is SHE gold digger for the distance? Why are you even dating someone that's long distance? Long distance relationships hardly ever work out. Recheck yourself IMO. Restart with someone local and get rid off the attitude you have about gold diggers (keep it on your mind, but don't show it or come off too strong about it). When and if you recognize it, simply disengage yourself from that person. NOTHING needs to be said. Link to comment
hyden Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Yep, Holly. That's the sum of it. "You need to keep track of all of your stories, OP." And did we all miss the part where he was going to go get her....then in another post said he has to apply for a permit to drive to her city. If thats the case, how were you going to drive there? Where is this city that you need a permit to drive into? What about the 80.00 in petrol to drive to the theme park? If it was going to cost 10.00 to drive 3 hours....does that mean it would take you 24 hours to get to the theme park? So, with picking her up, dropping her off and going to the park....thats 30 hours travelling. Lets say you spend 6 hours at the park. So, 36 hours, 100.00 in gas and some sort of permit required...lol. The OP reminds me of my ex-wife. And thats not a compliment. Link to comment
faraday Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 In a year of dating you didn't know where she lives? Or is she different than the girl from prior threads? Either way...ccottom, you teach people how to treat you. By continuing to date her despite her bad behaviour, you're saying "the way you treat me is acceptable." You need to end things or accept that this is how your life will be. Tantrums and drama. There are tons of great single people out there. You just need to be in a healthy place (emotionally) and put yourself out there. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 CC. Please do not tell me you need a permit to drive to "another city" in the U.K. or outside a 50 mile radius unless a) you are under some kind of surveillance, or b) you drive a train or a HGV, which you cannot take to any city you like. All of this sounds very strange OP and definitely not plausible. If you are in the script-writing business then do let us know and we'll help any way we can. Link to comment
Pixels Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Either grow a pair (testes or ovaries, this isn't gender-specific), or find a new hobby... I think that covers just about every possibility this thread encapsulates. Link to comment
gigiselle Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Wow, what a situation! Going to take this girl to a local theme park for a date (not first date). I said to her I will fetch her and take her, she agreed. I then google the directions to get her, "3 hours drive" - not far but so much traffic and 10mph speed limit and "this route has tolls". Turns out you have to pay £15 to drive in to her city, so to take her there and back. I google the petrol cost at those speeds for that time, £10 each way. So a total for me to drive here there and then drive her back again at the end of the day, 6 hours driving at a cost of £50. I suggested to her that their is a train station on the edge of her city it will take me 45 minutes to drive to and it is 15 minutes from her house to me total, the train is only £4.60, i'd happily pass her the money for the train fare. She has flipped out saying that she doesn't want to scrounge money off me, i said i would fetch her so i should fetch her from her doorstep. I told her simply it would save 5 hours 15 minutes of driving and £45 if I drove as close as i possibly can to her and she sits for 15 minutes on a train and meets me there. I am still fetching her and going well out of my way to come to her. She went on the attack saying i am a liar etc and said to forget about it all completely. What should i have done? Should i drive to pick her up? It will cost me a further £50 to take her to the theme park too, so i was trying to reduce time and costs as much as possible. Is she a gold digger and being spoilt or is it my fault and i should pick her up from her doorstep? Relationships are about compromise. Saving you unnecessary hours on the road seems like a reasonable request. It's about your comfort as well. I don't get the gold-digger thing....what makes her a gold-digger? But--I wouldn't appreciate it if someone wouldn't take my time/effort/money spent into consideration. You're already frustrated/name calling. Why do you even want to spend time/money on her when you think so little of her? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Why wouldn't you just meet half-way somewhere else or meet there? Who's idea was this date and who planned it? The planning sounds poorly thought out. She's not a gold digger she just didn't want your train fare or some chaotic crazy travel plans. Plan dates you can manage and afford rather than giving your dates a long-winded tale about traffic, tolls, petrol, blah blah blah....when it was your poor planning to begin with.I said to her I will fetch her and take her. i'd happily pass her the money for the train fare. she doesn't want to scrounge money off me and said to forget about it all completely. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 OP. This is the part I am not getting: "....because it is illegal for me to drive into her town without a permit which i have to apply for and wait to be delivered. " You state you are in U.K. but I am beginning to suspect you are somewhere else entirely,...with zones.- Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Which city is £15.00 to enter in to then, in the UK? Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Dave. I am getting more perplexed by the minute. Where in the U.K. does one need a permit to go to a certain city or cities? What is the OP talking about? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I just assumed he was talking about the London congestion charge, b ut I don't think you need anything sending out with that. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I still ask, why would you need a permit to go to another UK city. That's what the OP said. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Have you googled codependency yet, Op? I think it was advised that you do that in one of your other posts about this girl who you whine about often, but never leave. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 The OP has left the building. He'll be back next week with his latest drama. Followed by his explanation that he can't leave her because he has no way to find anyone else and he doesn't want to be "alone". Romance of the century, this one is. Link to comment
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