Can't get over fling. Any help here?

[Lucha]

So I've had a fling with this girl three months ago. It wasn't supposed to be a fling. We dated and already had slept together when she suddenly met someone else she liked better and decided to date her.

The thing is, the other woman is the one who 'got away' with my ex- girlfriend two years ago. I really hate her. She has been tormenting my life ever since I've known her by trying to break me and my ex-girlfriend up, then sending me pictures of them together and now eventually running off with the girl I was shortly seeing.

 

It's been three months and they are still together. And I am still wondering what the f* happened. I can't seem to let it go. I've been no contact with the girl since 6 weeks now. I've been focusing on work, friends, everything to keep my mind off her.

 

I just think it isn't fair. This was the first girl I actually liked a lot, from all the girls (3) that I dated since after the big breakup Two years ago. We had a good time, this other woman walks in the picture and suddenly I'm invisible.

 

It takes years for me to finally like someone that much again and then this happens. And I end up alone all over again. It makes me really miss my ex of years ago. I'm a mess because I just miss that companionship.

 

Sorry for the rant. Just sick and tired of being left behind.

[Clinton]

A lot going on here. I can only go by what you write but it seems you're still hanging on to your former relationship.

 

Also, dating is simply that. It's a way to try out a new person. It sounds like you barely knew this so called fling so maybe not a good idea to get so quickly involved.

 

If it was actually a fling, well those by definition usually end sooner than later.

 

I think maybe you need to make better decisions up front and work at really getting to know a person before committing

[No1]

Lucha.. Your X is evil.. she is using your former fling as a pawn. The second you stop caring the pawn is going to be tossed away. I am convinced your X GF is afraid of you succeeding. Your X GF is at a level and thats all she is going to get. She has to rely on others, you do not. Your X is playing these games to keep you at a certain level of success. She knows your heart is fragile and thats your weak spot and she is going to hammer you there in order you to keep you with her emotionally.

You are better than her, you rise above the game.

[Lucha]

Lucha.. Your X is evil.. she is using your former fling as a pawn. The second you stop caring the pawn is going to be tossed away. I am convinced your X GF is afraid of you succeeding. Your X GF is at a level and thats all she is going to get. She has to rely on others, you do not. Your X is playing these games to keep you at a certain level of success. She knows your heart is fragile and thats your weak spot and she is going to hammer you there in order you to keep you with her emotionally.

You are better than her, you rise above the game.

 

I might not have been clear, sorry! (My mind is a mess/chaos)..

 

It's not my ex-gf that ran off with the fling, but some other woman who ran off with both my ex and the fling (she first dated my ex and rubbed that in my face, then they broke up and now she's dating the girl that i had started seeing).

 

I agree the ex is no great person either but she wouldnt be that low.

 

It's the other woman. That one is driving me insane.

[No1]

Oh, my bad Lucha.. I think I read it wrong..

You must have a small circle there because its the same group of people and just wondering if everyone knows everyone?

Either way... you are a great girl, an awesome catch and you should not let these evil game players affect you. Its the whole point of games is to get to you. You are better than they are.. you really are.. Some people just like keeping other people down thats all.

[JA0371]

How does this person even know who you're dating in order to 'swoop' in and 'take' them?? Which by the way is a two way street. ? Is she stalking you or something? Is there only five people to date where you live?? I don't get how she is able to continue doing this??

[Lucha]

How does this person even know who you're dating in order to 'swoop' in and 'take' them?? Which by the way is a two way street. ? Is she stalking you or something? Is there only five people to date where you live?? I don't get how she is able to continue doing this??

 

The gay/lesbian dating scene in my country involves mostly the same people all the time. The word goes around quickly. On top of that, while she was with my ex that little b* "followed me" on facebook, which is the equivalent of seeing someones public posts or something, not friending. Im guessing that is one of the ways she kept tabs on me. Not wanting to sound paranoid here but when I was talking to the new girl, at some point I could just sense the difference in tone. Like something had happened. And that something was the other woman. I felt like a psycho for suspecting this and try to write it off as paranoid but unfortunately my suspicions were correct..

 

Anyway.. I shouldn't let this get to me so much.. I'm angry at myself for not letting it go, but how?

[mustlovedogs]

You can choose to not allow followers on FB

[Live-N-Learn]

On top of that, while she was with my ex that little b* "followed me" on facebook, which is the equivalent of seeing someones public posts or something, not friending. Im guessing that is one of the ways she kept tabs on me.

 

Good example of why I deactivated my FB account 4 years ago.

 

Hope you find your way.