Bad boys?

[Crugsta]

Sorry what's PUA?

[Moontiger]

Off course I understand just wondered what others thought.

The quote has been with me recently

 

" nice guys finish last"

 

Sometimes it's nice to finish first!!!

 

Honestly, I think that is a total cop-out. Do men really think that women don't like nice people? It's pretty absurd. I'll let this video explain:

[Blue_Skirt]

Sorry what's PUA?

Pick Up Artist

[TMifune]

I find some alpha males to be kind of jerks that literally prey on women. I like a softie who can handle their own. He can take me on a ride on his motorcycle.. i like a little bit of bad boy.

 

How many points toward "bad boy" do I get for owning a motorcycle?

[Blue_Skirt]

How many points toward "bad boy" do I get for owning a motorcycle?

You got a thank you, is that good enough?

[treesandbees]

No, had both good and bad and I prefer good, kind, respectful men who are not playing games and wanting multiple partners. I don't want to worry about extra things when in a relationship, so no more bad boys.

[Crugsta]

No I'm not talking of a pick up artist.

I'm just asking what people think a women normally looks for in a guy !!

[treesandbees]

I don't know what other women look for but I know what I personally look for: Kind, polite, funny, loving, loyal, respectful, intelligent, fit, good work ethic, loves his family but not overly attached, can cook, likes animals and kids and so on.

[treesandbees]

Oh and loyal, means faithful and has your back as well.

[Crugsta]

Thank you trees I appreciate it.

I know everyone is different.

 

Trying to improve myself for myself and future relationships either with my ex or someone knee law of attraction !!

[Seraphim]

Has common interests with me, common life goals, same core values, respectful ,honourable, work ethic... List could go on.

 

But I'm not getting why Alpha person is not seen as a nice person. I would say I'm an alpha personality AND I am a good person.

 

Being a "nice "person could mean many things. That mean something different to everybody. It's a wildly unspecific generic term.

[Seraphim]

Ok, I wanted children. So the person I married also wanted children. We share the same religion. We share the same pride in our country so my husband is in the military and I was in the military too. We both went to university for the same degree ,we both love history. We were raised in the same time period . We belong to the same generation. We love to visit museums. We love to visit battlefields. We love going on drives. We share mostly the same politics. We have very similar styles of raising children. Etc etc etc

[Hollyj]

This all reverts back to my recent BU with my gf of 5 years I am very soft hearted towards her !! Just wondering what women like to see in men that's all!! Currently 3 months no contact since day of BU just want to better myself to prove I can be better. But mainly it's motivated me to do what I want and improve myself for myself.

 

As long as you weren't a doormat in the relationship, how about being yourself.

 

I also suggest that you find someone local - she has already dumped you twice. Let this go.. Long distance rarely works.

[Crugsta]

I wasn't a doormat by any sense!!

 

We made 5 years off long distance work!! I take it you read my other posts. She has now started being an air hostess and I beleive she didn't see us working through that and I think she needs to let her wings fly.

I also being in a long distance relationship don't want a local girlfriend I sort of renjoyed it. It's special Everytime you see each other. You both have your distance and space. It's always new to do new things and you don't get sick of each other's personal bubbles which a lot of couples do!!

 

I'm still not completely healed which is why I'm sticking to NC,

 

Hey just because we are over now doesn't mean it always will be.

But by the time that comes around who knows where life will be !!!

[tiredofvampires]

It sounds to me as though you feel being kind-hearted and a "softie" put you at a disadvantage in some way in your relationship, and that you feel you lost your "edge." I'm interested to know what kind of "edge" you feel you lost by being kind-hearted and "soft". That's why my first post asked you what you want to be. YOU are the one talking about what YOU lost. What do you think you lost that was important and what do you want to get back, and why?

 

Sometimes relationships change us for the better, so it is good to "lose" certain parts of ourselves that are no longer serving us in progressing as a person. That's not to be confused with "losing yourself" in a relationship where you no longer feel you know yourself and are merely catering to someone else's idea of what you should be.

 

So, "returning" to who you were before her is not necessarily a good thing. Or a bad thing.

 

You would do best for your personal growth asking yourself what kind of person you want to be. Forget the labels. "Doormat", "softie", "bad boy", "alpha male." You're pinning a lot of identity to those words. The more important words are what describes your character and personality. Do you want to be trustworthy? Honest? Kind? A tough guy? Unemotional, not letting them see you sweat? Reliable? Devil-may-care? Thoughtful? What attributes do you seek to possess? Women can't tell you what YOU want to be (and you clearly have ideas of what you want to be), and if they tell you something other than what you want to be, how will you take that on board? You can't, because it would not feel authentic.

 

So why ask women to mold who you are when you are the only one who can figure out the sort of person you would like to be?

 

Some "alpha males" are aggressive, fight-picking jerks, and others are just extremely type A-go-getters who tend to dominate a room with their extroversion. In the end, if you have a desire to be any of these things, you'll be them whether women give you the thumbs-up or not.

 

I can tell you personally that nothing is more important to me than a man who is kind-hearted and soft, in his ability to emotionally be open (which doesn't mean a man with no spine.)

[Hollyj]

I wasn't a doormat by any sense!!

 

We made 5 years off long distance work!! I take it you read my other posts. She has now started being an air hostess and I beleive she didn't see us working through that and I think she needs to let her wings fly.

I also being in a long distance relationship don't want a local girlfriend I sort of renjoyed it. It's special Everytime you see each other. You both have your distance and space. It's always new to do new things and you don't get sick of each other's personal bubbles which a lot of couples do!!

 

I'm still not completely healed which is why I'm sticking to NC,

 

Hey just because we are over now doesn't mean it always will be.

But by the time that comes around who knows where life will be !!!

 

I didn't understand why you wanted to change - thought you may think yourself to be a people pleaser. I couldn't understand the whole "bad boy" reference.

 

It sounds like you are emotionally unavailable, if you are unable to share your life with someone in a regular manner. Most partners are going to want to interact and share a life with their loved one. Good luck on finding someone who wants a 'sometime' relationship.

[Capricorn3]

OP, I think I am probably the only person here who is confused about exactly WHAT your question is and what you are really looking for.

 

So far we have:

 

So the question is do women love bad boys?

 

My question is do women prefer a bad boy.

 

Then we went to:

 

I should of said alpha male instead of using bad boy!

 

Then, when asked to clarify what you mean by alpha male, it went to this:

 

Just wondering what women like to see in men

 

I'm just asking what people think a women normally looks for in a guy !!

 

So, question for YOU now:

 

* Do you want to know if women are attracted to BAD guys, ALPHA males, or what women LIKE TO SEE in men, or WHAT PEOPLE THINK A WOMAN LOOKS FOR in a guy?

 

Yes, I said I was confused, lol.

[BlarneyStone]

Pretty simple answer to the alpha male question.

 

Yes.

 

No woman wants a beta male. But women will have them anyway, because the ratio of alpha to beta is skewed like no other, especially with Generation Y and younger.

[TMifune]

So what are you going to do?

What are you doing to do when they come for you?

[TMifune]

You got a thank you, is that good enough?

 

I'll take it! Now what about the denim vest and fake chest hair? I bet those drive the bad-boy stock through the roof!

[Jean-Luc]

Pretty simple answer to the alpha male question.

 

Yes.

 

No woman wants a beta male. But women will have them anyway, because the ratio of alpha to beta is skewed like no other, especially with Generation Y and younger.

 

I don't think you can say that absolutely no woman wants a "beta" male. There are certainly some out there who don't really care about any of that. It's more about personality and character compatibility and chemistry.

 

The terms alpha and beta are ridiculous anyway. Anybody who labels you with such things are usually not worth your time in my experience.

[John John]

I think that many women out there might marry men with "beta" like qualities. But what happens is that then in the relationship, the woman tends to take control and manipulate things. And from what I've seen, they eventually lose attraction and respect for their husbands (assuming they had any in the first place).

 

I don't really buy into the whole "alpha/beta male" thing. I think it's kind of stupid. I just stand up for myself and speak my mind with women. If they don't like me or my stance on something, that's just too bad. In my experience, that attracts them to me even more (but I'm just like that naturally - far from being a doormat).

[Crugsta]

I would just like to state that I'm far from a doormat. I'm a very out going confident guy m. I have no problem talking to women or being in company of others. I was just generally wondering what women like to see in men.

 

Like I have said the quote stands.

 

"Nice guys finish last "

 

It seems more alpha the guy the more women find him attractive..

Is this a true statement I can stand by ?

 

Just wanting to learn more about attraction what women look for and want to gain with a guy..

[Seraphim]

The statement," nice guys finish last",is a statement women absolutely despise and they will avoid that guy like the plague.Make that statement you are toast . We then assume you're a woman hater and act accordingly .

[John John]

We then assume you're a woman hater and act accordingly .

 

Yeah but this isn't always true, so it's not fair to automatically make this assumption if an inexperienced guy struggling with confidence feels this way. He just may need to be pointed in the right direction or given frank advice from some of his boys. Doesn't necessarily mean he's a woman hater.