Moving on

[littleone2010]

I was married to my x for 6 years together 12. He left in July for another woman, honestly she saved my life.

About 4 years ago he had an affair with a 17 year old girl. I stayed through it all. He had always had a tempor. But about 2 years ago he would throw things break stuff. Choked me several times, slapped me once and raped me. That's not counting his mental abuse. He would always blame me for it. I should have not got into his face. I should have not followed him during arguments. His food had to be served on a plate along with his drink. Or I didn't love him and would be made to fill horrible about myself. I had to take a dvp out against him last week due to him following and trying to wreck my car over a custody battle. He has done damage to me.

I have started talking to a guy about 4 months ago. He was an old friends of my x and mine. We started dating about 2 months ago. He is an awesome guy. He knows some of what I have been through. Just basic my x was a cheater and mistreated me. I truly like this guy. I am just having a hard time trusting him and letting him get to close. Yesterday we were watching a movie at his house. Things were getting intimate. I panicked started remembering the things my x did. I had to make up an excuse and leave. He was completely understanding and was ok with me leaving. I know he deserves to know the truth about everything. But I am scared of his reaction so soon. Should I tell him or not. I don't want to freak him. But I want him to understand its me not him.

[shellyf62]

You have only been single for 5 months? That is way too soon to start seeing someone else after all the bad things your ex has put you through.

You need to find yourself again & heal from the damage he has done.

I would stop seeing this new guy & be on your own for a while.

 

Also you don't need to tell any new partner everything that happened to you. It is none of their business. Just tell someone new that your last relationship didn't end on good terms & leave it at that.

[Ms Darcy]

The last thing you should be doing is dating.

[tracyis300]

Yo! You need therapy for all that you went through?... Straight up!!

I don't think it's too soon to start dating someone new. But to be fair to the new guy, you need sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know what your going through and that you need time and support to get your life back on track.

Yes! It will be a hard and slow progress. But it will strengthen your relationship if he decides to go down that road with you... Good luck with it.

 

 

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[Lisii]

We can not tell you whether you should or should not be with this new man, but if you like him and see a future you should be able to talk to him and tell him the truth. If you feel you cant, then it's probably not the right time or guy. - Personally IMHO if he knew your ex, he will have a good idea of what has happened, you just need to open up and trust him...

 

Therapy is a good idea.