He brought another girl to a Halloween party

[skittles88]

I have been dating this guy for four months now and we have slept together. We haven't had a conversation about being exclusive. But we did have a conversation two weeks ago about past relationships and he said when he first broke up with his long time girlfriend he dated A girl from work and he said he wasn't currently seeing anyone else and I said I wasn't either.

 

I went to visit my cousin out of state for the weekend. When I go on Facebook Sunday morning he posted pictures of another girl and him in matching costumes at a party that I knew about but he didn't invite me to. I met him through a mutual friend so I asked my friend about it since she was at the party as well. My friend said she believes the girl he brought is the same person he cheated on his girlfriend with. Friend also said there was another girl at this party who was very obviously jealous that he brought another girl and said something to him but he ignored it.

 

I ended up texting him after talking to my friend to see ask how the party went. Then I said that he should have been honest that he was seeing other people. He said that the girl was just a friend from work that he used to date but they realized they were better off as friends and he invited her because she had no plans. I pointed out that they had the same costume and he responded that they matched because their work had a party as well. He said I have nothing to worry about and that he isn't seeing her anymore and they aren't a couple and won't be in the future. Also he pointed out that if he had something to hide he wouldn't post pictures on Facebook.

 

I'm not sure what I feel and my friend who introduced us doesn't think I should believe him. She keeps apologizing to me and saying she didn't think he would be like this. My friend said that the way the jealous girl acted at the party it seems like something was going on between them as well. Even though we never had the exclusive talk, this just seems like a red flag since he told me he wasn't dating anyone else.

[j.man]

After 4 months and not establishing exclusivity, these are things you can expect to happen. For all he knows, you could appreciate having the freedom to bring an odd date to a party.

 

It doesn't seem like he's hiding anything. He's just being single, which he is.

[missmarple]

It's time you had that exclusivity talk. Regarding the party and girl A, B, etc, etc, who knows what the truth is. The thing is that saying he's not seeing anyone else isn't the same as saying he only wants to date you. You can't accuse him of anything at this point, in my opinion.

[DoF]

What is there to be honest about? he is NOT in a relationship with you, he simply sleeps with you and can sleep with whoever else he wants (and is doing so).

 

You failed miserably. You allowed him to be intimate without being exclusive or in a relationship. Next time give it TIME, time and holding off on intimacy is the ONLY dog/player filter for women.

 

Besides, if you want to build a solid foundation of a healthy long term relationship you wait with intimacy and INVEST TIME together and get to know the person WELL. intimacy clouds your mind and makes you blind to obvious red flags. It also puts your relationship into overdrive and makes you skip important steps.

 

This is on YOU. You are the gate keeper and you simply left your gates open.

 

I suggest you read up /learn about relationships in general. 5 love languages would be a good start.

 

Boys will only do what YOU allow them to do. currently you are allowing all of the benefits of the relationship without the commitment.

[Doc Blaze]

What kind of hanging out do you guys do? Does he ever ask you to hang out, get together.

[Movingforward3]

Did you have plans to go out of town that weekend? I don't I would read much into this. Just have a chat about the relationship going forward and take him at his word

[Andrina]

I wouldn't date someone who had recently cheated on a past girlfriend. Those are his ethics. What epiphany has happened that changed his moral compass? Probably nothing.

[kathy679]

He probably has a point that he has nothing to hide if all of the pictures are on facebook. But even if he is dating her he's single so maybe you need that talk

[Ms Darcy]

It's more than obvious you want exclusivity and he doesn't. Don't bother with this one - just move on.

[notalady]

I wouldn't date someone who had recently cheated on a past girlfriend. Those are his ethics. What epiphany has happened that changed his moral compass? Probably nothing.

 

Agree with this.

 

I wouldn't trust this guy especially given his current behaviour. That being said, you have no reason to accuse him of anything, you never agreed to be exclusive with each other.

 

I'd walk away from this one.