Whiny girlfriend!

[olari9]

Hey guys, U know I have written here before alot of times. It's about the same girlfriend and we're living together. We lived together before at her place and, here comes the story:

Well, at her place it used to be alot like, I always suggested on what to do and what we should do together. There were many cases on where I had to do stuff alone and where she refused, like going out and stuff like that, cos she wasn't just feeling like that. So, it didn't bother me at all. Well at that time it didn't bother me at all, since it was okay and I thought that maybe she just wanted to be alone for a while or so. But now, the thing is really out of hand. Now when she lives at my place, all she does is whine about things. If I suggest to do something, she's like "nah, lets do something else" and in cases if I go with her decision, it's okay for her, but, if I suggest something else she starts whining about, that we should've done what she wanted and, well, she doesn't even listen. If I tell her that "We could've done it afterwards" she always come back at me like "Well you didn't say you wanted to do it afterwards" and I'm like "You wanted to do it so bad then why didn't you say anything?" aand she comes back again like "Well you still should've told me we should do it." Then there's the 2nd problem, when I tell her I am out of ideas, she just jumps into her phone and doesn't say anything to me hours, so I am like "Okay, I'll just play a couple of games and/or watch a movie in the meanwhile", when later she comes back at me like "You don't suggest anything to do with me, you just want to watch your ty movies or play games and not do anything with me anymore" for which I have always answered "I told you to suggest me something I can do with you, you just chose to sit on your phone and not say anything, plus when we were at your place, I was always the one that suggested things to do because you were just too lazy to do anything with me and even then, you refused alot of my suggestions and I had to do alot of things alone just because you refused. Now, you just want to whine about everything..." aaand she's back to the not listening part with this sentence: "Well but you went to your computer and just started playing games and watching movies" and I'm all like: "I told you to suggest me something, I would've loved to do something with you if you were there to suggest me something but no, you just chose to sit on your damn phone and not do anything"...

Aand the blaming continues.

 

Well guys, tell me, how can I talk to her when she chooses not to listen to me at all? What should I do differently? I personally don't like to be accused like that and I can not talk to her when all she does is accusing me because I hate it when people only FIND other peoples problems but never acknowledge or analyze their own things they do wrong. It's basically like, she always thinks she is doing everything right and even when I try to explain her that instead of always whining, she should do stuff differently, she just doesn't listen to me. Help? Thank you

[dias]

You can't make people listen . She is what she is.

[DoF]

Both of you are not listening to each other and are getting into piss match over trivial things. You think this is bad? Just wait what life and time has in store for you.

 

You are talking about pesky things, and are both blowing them up out of proportion.

 

Pretty simple, every other day each person gets to do what they want and other comes along. Write it down in the calendar and go with it.

 

Just learn to get along.

 

Remember, it WAY more important to be nice than it is to be right.

[Knot2loud]

Imagine this... Having kids and growing old with her.

[rosephase]

Neither of you are mature enough to be in a relationship. Something this simple shouldn't make this much conflict. This is day to day stuff that you should be able to communicate through.

 

You both are of the mind "this is your fault why don't you fix it" while it is a communication problem that you both deeply contribute too. If you can't take the first step of admitting it's a shared issue then just leave and grow up and then find someone who is a grown up to date.

[overthemoon86]

This relationship sounds miserable.

[boltnrun]

Finger-pointing and blame.

 

Why do either of you think this is a mature and productive way to communicate?

[melancholy123]

You two need to learn how to communicate because you stink at it! Sit down and talk about things, dont play on phones and computers. If you really want to go out somewhere, talk about it, both need to share ideas on what to do for fun. This is so juvenile.

[SooSad33]

So... you guys can't 'communicate'? She sounds rather immature.

 

maybe you two would be better living apart? or getting a life separately?

Do your own thing and she does hers.

 

You can't 'please her' with any suggestions on what to do, as it seems.

[Helpexpressme]

Her and her whining would be down the road, never to be heard of again.

[j.man]

Yeah, you don't know how to communicate well with her, but who the **** wants to communicate with that?? Can't blame ya, bud.

 

At the risk of sounding sexist, I have always given women some allowance for whining/griping while dating just based on the chromosomal factor, but truth be told I've got pretty limited patience for it. I wouldn't expect it to get any better down the road.