LittleToe Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 So your family hates her and it's very obvious. Your girlfriend is clueless and oblivious to it and even thinks that they love her. Mistaking their fake niceness for something warm and genuine. Would that kind of cluelessness annoy you? Or would you find it a bit cute? Would a girl that clueless about people and interactions be a turn off? Would it make you think she's dumb? Would you be able to look past it if she was a very sweet girl and smart about other things? Who would you be more annoyed with? Your family disliking her or your girlfriend for not seeing the obvious? Link to comment
DoF Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Not cool for your family to put on an act.....people usually take things for what they are. Remember, you have been around them your WHOLE life, you know them. She doesn't, she has no clue, I would perhaps TEACH her a thing or 2 about your family. I would be annoyed with my family.....that's not cool and quite disrespectful towards YOU and your girlfriend. I suggest you reevaluate and recognize your family for who they are hehe. Not very smart or mature of them, quite the opposite. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what WE think. It matter what YOU think, if YOU find it "cute or annoying". Just consider the fact that you have LOTS of experience with your family, she has NONE. It's similar to knowledge, just because someone doesn't know something about and you do, doesn't make them dumb or you smart. We ALL know lots about some things and very little about others. It's all based on experience. Link to comment
rosephase Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 You know your family way better than she does. The things you think are straight forward and obvious are because you grew up with them. She's not dumb for not seeing it if they are pretending to be nice to her. Honestly a partner taking my family at face value or assuming the best would be a bonus to me. My family being fake jerks towards someone I care about would drive me crazy. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I would find it neither cute nor annoying. I would not think any less of her just because your family is good at faking it. I don't know why you're looking for someone to be annoyed with. If I were you, I'd be extremely concerned that my family hates her. That could mean many things: your family is not very nice; or there's something very unhealthy about your gf/the relationship that they are concerned about; or your family has an unhealthy dynamic with you and typically does not like people you date; and so on. Why do they hate her? Link to comment
missmarple Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 It depends on how good their act is. I've thought people liked me when they didn't in the past and I can assure you I'm not dumb at all. I wouldn't be annoyed at any of them. Are you sure you like your g/f? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Sounds exactly like another posted story a few months ago. Link to comment
greta96 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 a) I would look a bit deeper into why my family hated her. Not always, but usually family members can pick up on red flags you can't, because you are too involved in the situation. Assuming you are close with your family and they want the best for you, there must be a good reason for the way they feel towards her. Worth investigating. b) I wouldn't read anything into her reaction, it doesn't mean she's stupid or clueless or anything like that. For all you know, she is very aware but is trying not to rock the boat in hopes once they get to know her, they'll change their minds. Maybe she's smarter than you think. Or maybe she's indeed naïve, but I don't see why that would be a minus. If anything, it means your family is way too good at faking it. You however sound like you do have a problem with the way she deals (or doesn't deal) with it. If it's a turn off for you, then just let go of her. Link to comment
Loriana Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I agree with the others you know your family way better than what she does. And even if she was oblivious to the fact that your family doesn't like her is that really such a bad thing? Sometimes what you don't know won't hurt you. I don't think the problem here is your girlfriend I think it's your family. If you are close with them and they love you then they would want you to be happy. And if your girlfriend is what makes you happy then they should respect that she is a part of your life and show her respect instead of pretending to be nice to her. You need to find out why they hate her so much. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Any reason you can't stand up for her? Link to comment
overthemoon86 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Why does your family dislike her so much? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 If I genuinely thought her clueless to the situation, I would feel horrible for putting her in that situation and my family behaving so poorly. My family has no concept of faking niceness though, so I can't really relate. Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Your family sounds unpleasant, and hopefully she's sussed it and is faking back at them. How old are the two of you? Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Maybe she's not as clueless as you think she is and is just doing the whole "killing them with kindness routine." I have known people who, while aware someone may not like them, have the attitude that it is not their problem, they are not going to be brought down by someone else, and unless and until someone does something openly awful they are simply going to play nice. Of the two the girlfriend may just be the stronger, smarter one. And BTW why would the family hate someone? It makes no sense unless either the girlfriend did something pretty negative to begin with--you know, showing up drunk for a family party and turning it into a barroom brawl comes to mind--OR the family has some sort of emotional issues and again how is that the girlfriend's problem? I say the boyfriend should step up and be a man and either defend the girlfriend to his family if their dislike is irrational or take a look at exactly what she may have done to antagonize the family. And figure out if anything needs to be fixed since sometimes people just aren't going to like someone and as long as manners are in place that's really the best one can hope for. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Sounds exactly like another posted story a few months ago. That's what I thought, except it was coming from the girl. I think it's the same poster. How many times do you need to ask the same question, over and over???????? This is ridiculous! Go back and reread the answers given. Give the people that responded some respect. Link to comment
kamurj Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed. Link to comment
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