Wedding ring

[princess5]

So he texted back saying he took his ring off for soccer on Wednesday and never put it back on since, although I'm almost sure I saw it on him on Thursday before he left.

[princess5]

He said a lot of his workmates giving him

A slagging for not wearing it

[IAmFCA]

I think you drop it, and instead turn your attention to bringing some play time into your relationship. Instead of holding him accountable, offer an upbeat environment, cocktails at home, charades with friends, a walk out to the local restaurant, whatever.

[princess5]

I think the fact that he didn't remember to put it on between Wednesday and Friday speaks volumes anyway- it didn't even cross his mind to put it on

[itsallgrand]

I think if you are that focused on whether or not he wears the ring, you could ask him to get it tattooed on.

 

Otherwise, either trust him or don't.

 

The ring on his finger isn't going to stop him from doing whatever it is you think he has been doing.

[Capttrae]

Good lord lady. It's just a ring. Don't matter what's on his hand what matters is what's in his heart

[IAmFCA]

I think the fact that he didn't remember to put it on between Wednesday and Friday speaks volumes anyway- it didn't even cross his mind to put it on

 

Ok, maybe you're right. What then. You get mad? You accuse him of not caring enough? Does that approach strengthen your relationship?

[annie24]

I agree with the poster who mentioned that this is a recurring theme in your relationship. It sounds like first a push to get engaged, then you see he is without his ring. Are you worried that he's not really committed to you? Have you guys ever been to couples therapy?

[RainyCoast]

i feel the issue isn't whether one should place that much emphasis on the ring, but that there has been too much emphasis on it on Op's part- i.e. that she had sort of "extorted" marriage out of this guy.

 

and that he is maybe acting out on that- not necessarily cheating. i am not much questioning the mere gesture of removing the ring. i am quenstioning the nature, and i guess quality of the marriage, mostly due to Op's seemingly overwhelming expectations.

[mhowe]

So he texted back saying he took his ring off for soccer on Wednesday and never put it back on since, although I'm almost sure I saw it on him on Thursday before he left.

 

For the life of me, I can't figure out why you have to remove a ring to play socce.

[rustysim]

If there's been no evidence before to suggest he'd have an affair I think it's just something he forgot about. I recall that episode of everybody loves raymond when ray loses his ring or something and it causes a bit of a scandal.

 

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion he's putting his pickle in another lady's jar unless there's been previous evidence or his soccer story changes/isn't true

[IAmFCA]

For the life of me, I can't figure out why you have to remove a ring to play socce.

 

Maybe he's goalie... lol, the whole thing is lopsided. Why be with someone who inspires this line of thinking?

[Snny]

I take my rings off when I workout. I get sweaty and have narrow fingers that my rings slide around (so annoying while running). I also wear gloves for boxing/weight lifting, and it's a pain in the ass to wearing my engagement ring underneath them. Soccer goalies do wear gloves and that could be a reason.

 

Thought I'd share my perspective... But it's still suspicious.

[princess5]

I take my rings off when I workout. I get sweaty and have narrow fingers that my rings slide around (so annoying while running). I also wear gloves for boxing/weight lifting, and it's a pain in the ass to wearing my engagement ring underneath them. Soccer goalies do wear gloves and that could be a reason.

 

Thought I'd share my perspective... But it's still suspicious.

 

 

He texted during the night to say that I should know he's not like that and everyone else knows he's not like that. Still can't shake the uneasy feeling though

[Stay_home]

Just my opinion,

 

There are only a few reasons why you should take your wedding ring off. If you're painting the house or if....(very big if)...you're going away for a while to a place where you know there will be eye candy and you want to appear to be single... just in case. You don't take off your wedding ring at the airport, to play soccer or because you're afraid it isn't a "custom" in another country or that someone will rob it from you. You do when you're in a hospital doped up on morphine and not conscience enough to know whose in the room doing what. Or if it's agreed upon in your marriage that wearing the ring is optional than that's different.

 

Outside of that, everything else is lame.

 

In other words, you better have a darn good reason why you took that ring off. Those making light of the ring as just being "a ring" are on another planet.

[annie24]

He texted during the night to say that I should know he's not like that and everyone else knows he's not like that. Still can't shake the uneasy feeling though

 

Have you ever gone to a counselor yourself to talk about this issue? Maybe it would be helpful to talk things out. As none of us knows him personally, we can't say if he took off his wedding ring so he could flirt (or more) with other women, or if he just simply forgot. The fact is, people can and do cheat, with or without their wedding rings. Do you trust him?

[IAmFCA]

The other night while in the bath so long the water got cold, I thought about this thread.

 

I realized... sometimes we create insecurity for ourselves because it engages us. It stimulates us. OP in your years together there has been a constant theme of insecurity about his commitment to you, has he proven it, does he live it when youre not watching, etc. What would happen if you gave up your worries? What do your worries do for you?