mindless14 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 My ex and I went through and are still dealing with the consequences of (custody etc.) a nasty break up last year. He cheated and left me for a friend of ours, who was cheating on her husband with him. Her now ex husband and I have talked here and there, about this situation, and helped and given each other advice regarding our now pending custody cases, our kids, and just vent to each other from time to time. Well, the other night, he invited me over to his house. His roommate recently moved out, his kids were with theirs their mother, and this was the first time he's had to really be all alone, and he was having a hard time dealing. He asked my advice, how I coped when my kids first starting staying nights at their dads. We ended up just hanging out, talking and keeping each other company. We were and are lonely. Since then, we've continued to talk, but like friends. Not just complaining to each other about our exes and looking for custody advice. So the problem is, I like him. If he weren't, my ex boyfriends new girlfriends ex husband (wow), id probably try to pursue something with him. But how weird is this situation...not to mention, he probably does not feel the same way. Although some things were said and done to lead me to believe there may be a small possibility that he's at least had the thought. But, I should really steer clear of this right? I mean, how would that ever feel for our kids if there was something there in the future? But on the other hand, why should I let my exes infidelity get in the way of my happiness? I feel like I should leave this alone, but if nothing else, I like hanging out with him. I like being his friend, and I don't want to have to stop that. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 This "budding friendship" has disaster written all over it. It is much to complex, and you are both much too raw, to use each other for support. This isn't "happiness". This is desperation, hurt and anger ---- and a kindred soul in the same place. Steer very clear. You have to stop "being his friend". Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Well it worked for Shania Twain. Her husband left her for her friend and she connected with her friends ex. Both couples still together I believe. Just tread carefully. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Well it worked for Shania Twain. Her husband left her for her friend and she connected with her friends ex. Both couples still together I believe. Just tread carefully. Sure, but they write country music songs. It had to work out. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 the baggage slipstream is full of mines my friend. It might be easier on you to vent to a girlfriend and detach from this guy. You can find a love interest with someone not involved in the current drama. Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Sure, but they write country music songs. It had to work out. Thats true. It was just inspiration for her next album. Lifestyles of the rich and famous. Don't try this at home. Link to comment
Perrin83 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 The upside to this situation is that all the kids will be able to call everyone Mom and Dad ;D Link to comment
j.man Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Got my DVR set to record Jerry Springer for the next two weeks to get the update on this. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 You are not "falling for" him. You are hurt, lonely, angry and a bit desperate for companionship. Please do NOT make any decisions during this time. And do NOT sleep with him! If you think you feel bad now, think about how awful you'd feel if you slept with him and afterward he explained that he didn't feel the same way you think you do. Repeat...you are NOT falling for him! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Sounds like a revenge senerio. Link to comment
mindless14 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 Fast forward a few months, we've been dating a little over a month now. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 It seems like something that has no chance of working. I've witnessed this exact same thing happening. And both couples are still together years after. This is probably an exception (like Shania) and I'm not offering it as hope. But, if you can remain friends it might be good. You can certainly relate and empathize with each other. Link to comment
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