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I am a bit worried about her past and current behaviour....


Avro1986

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Hi everyone,

 

I have been dating a woman for 6 weeks now. She's 27, and I met her on eHarmony. I am 28. She told me that she had a drug problem (metamphetamines + LSD)when she lost her grandmother ~2 years ago. I understood her pain because I had lost my grandmother to cancer and was depressed for 2 years and took medication. Hence, I didn't judge her. However, I noticed that she's a party animal. She went out last week with her girlfriends, got really drunk, and told me that she had forgotten the end of the evening. I was like ok... Happens to everyone. However, she told me that she used to do a lot more when she was younger: mix drugs/alcohol and go party for 12 hours intervals (i.e. party, go to work, then party, no sleep). We've all been "crazy" at some point. She got mad at me once for leaving a party earlier. We had a fight because "I should have left when the party was over."

 

I feel that she has a lot of internalized problems and engages in self-destructive behaviours rather than addressing them. Moreover, she can't understand that school is important to me (science grad student), and can't always go out. It's weird because she has an MBA, so she should understand. She told me: "I can't wait to get drunk with you..." My dad told me: "No fixing project." Additionally, she initiated a bj in the park at night (I did not ask for it. We were cuddling, and she started). I had never had "public sex" before, so it was exciting, but since I was nervous, I didn't cu*. She was ok with it and told me: "When I get turned on, I can't control it!!" I felt uneasy. I mean: if she drinks like a fish and can't control her sex, who's to say that she won't cheat on me one day when we go through a rough patch? Maybe I am overanalyzing...Other than that, she is nice,funny, and educated. What do you think? Thanks!

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At 27, she should be out of party & rave all night phase - or atleast greatly weening off it. I think she has some deep issues she is trying to mask with the partying and drugs. The sex in public thing is not THAT big a deal, help keep your sex life interesting but, it would also make me worried for the fact that she seem very comfortable just doing it and her statement regarding sex.

 

Personally, I dont think she is the one for you. She could be trying to make her life better, but right now she is not ready to be a girlfriend to you or anyone.

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I read all your other threads and it sounds like you don't have trouble getting dates so you need to take a pass on this one. Unless you are jus out to have fun with no commitment.

 

This one is not long term, she is on a destructive run that may not end for some time.

 

 

Lost

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