Avro1986 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Hi everyone, I have been dating a woman for 6 weeks now. She's 27, and I met her on eHarmony. I am 28. She told me that she had a drug problem (metamphetamines + LSD)when she lost her grandmother ~2 years ago. I understood her pain because I had lost my grandmother to cancer and was depressed for 2 years and took medication. Hence, I didn't judge her. However, I noticed that she's a party animal. She went out last week with her girlfriends, got really drunk, and told me that she had forgotten the end of the evening. I was like ok... Happens to everyone. However, she told me that she used to do a lot more when she was younger: mix drugs/alcohol and go party for 12 hours intervals (i.e. party, go to work, then party, no sleep). We've all been "crazy" at some point. She got mad at me once for leaving a party earlier. We had a fight because "I should have left when the party was over." I feel that she has a lot of internalized problems and engages in self-destructive behaviours rather than addressing them. Moreover, she can't understand that school is important to me (science grad student), and can't always go out. It's weird because she has an MBA, so she should understand. She told me: "I can't wait to get drunk with you..." My dad told me: "No fixing project." Additionally, she initiated a bj in the park at night (I did not ask for it. We were cuddling, and she started). I had never had "public sex" before, so it was exciting, but since I was nervous, I didn't cu*. She was ok with it and told me: "When I get turned on, I can't control it!!" I felt uneasy. I mean: if she drinks like a fish and can't control her sex, who's to say that she won't cheat on me one day when we go through a rough patch? Maybe I am overanalyzing...Other than that, she is nice,funny, and educated. What do you think? Thanks! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 The lack of self-control bothers me. What do you think? I think, only six weeks in and already massive red flags. Take heed and RUN and keep running and don't look back. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Red flags all over the place! Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Listen to dad. Run Forest..run. Link to comment
BentGattling Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Other than that, she is nice,funny, and educated. What do you think? Thanks! Well in that case...just kidding...she would be exhausting to keep up with...I'm with your dad! Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I think you understand her well. She is escaping something, has been for a long time. Maybe she is trending towards better, but at this pace, better enough could be 10 years and several tragedies from now. Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Get back on eharmony and check out some more profiles, this one's a fruit loop. Run! Link to comment
Sarah691607309662 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 RUN. she is dysfunctional. Link to comment
bluesnowball Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 She no good for you. Do you really want a chick that wants to party daily? Especially if your not like that? Find someone more like you good luck Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Dad is right. Stop. You are not a shrink. Run. Link to comment
JustWishing Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 This girl sounds like bad news. Period. Next thing you know she wants you to take drugs with her. You seem like a nice guy. Do yourself a favor and look for something more solid Link to comment
MisUnderstood9 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 At 27, she should be out of party & rave all night phase - or atleast greatly weening off it. I think she has some deep issues she is trying to mask with the partying and drugs. The sex in public thing is not THAT big a deal, help keep your sex life interesting but, it would also make me worried for the fact that she seem very comfortable just doing it and her statement regarding sex. Personally, I dont think she is the one for you. She could be trying to make her life better, but right now she is not ready to be a girlfriend to you or anyone. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I read all your other threads and it sounds like you don't have trouble getting dates so you need to take a pass on this one. Unless you are jus out to have fun with no commitment. This one is not long term, she is on a destructive run that may not end for some time. Lost Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I think your concerns are well founded. I was like ok... Happens to everyone. Nope. Link to comment
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