Madamdiva007 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Hey guys, Just a random question for you all, but how many of you are friends with your SO on Facebook? And if not, why? I am asking this question out of genuine curiosity Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Yes we are but he's almost never on Facebook. I am also friends with many of my friend's SO's on Facebook even if we are not good friends in real life. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 We are. That's how we got back in touch and eventually led to us dating. Link to comment
beingawesome Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Yes, though he rarely posts on his. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 yes we are ..i use it often..she is more of a lurker and posts every once in a while Link to comment
sophie274 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Yes, and I would find it both odd and frankly suspicious if my boyfriend would not be my friend on Facebook. I see no other possible reason than having something to hide (and if the reason is that being friends on fb could cause problems, then either one person is behaving inappropriately or the partner is extremely insecure, both of which are bigger issues). I couldn't imagine my boyfriend friending some person he's known for five minutes and refusing me. But almost always I've become fb friends with my boyfriends before we started dating. There's nothing on Facebook that identifies us as being more than acquaintances, no relationship status or photos and we don't pos on each other's walls. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I see no other possible reason than having something to hide (and if the reason is that being friends on fb could cause problems, then either one person is behaving inappropriately or the partner is extremely insecure, both of which are bigger issues). I've not had partners right away on Facebook because of my family. I had like...45-50 friends tops, everyone that I knew personally and would interact with, no random people. My family is pretty nosy (particularly my mother) and would inquire about any and all new friends and friend interactions. If I wasn't ready to introduce him to family and they may not have known about him yet (I tend to wait a while to tell family, just my style), then nope, no Facebook. If my family had already met him, then having him on Facebook was fine and I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's not always indicative of bad behaviour. Just wanted to throw that out there. Link to comment
a800w Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Yes, I am friends with him on Facebook, follow him on instagram and he follows back. I do put him on Acquaintances though. Knowing myself and how sensitive I am, if he likes a bunch of girls' photos, I would probably feel suspicious. So, putting him on aquaintances lets me not have to see that stuff. I don't know if this is good because I feel like I'm lying to myself, but that's what it is. Link to comment
treesandbees Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 No because I didn't have a FB account, and didn't want to make one up just to add him, I didn't feel it was needed. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Ok this is a good reason! If a boyfriend explained this to me it would be fine by me. If you have 500+ fb friends though ... I stand by my original statement. I've not had partners right away on Facebook because of my family. I had like...45-50 friends tops, everyone that I knew personally and would interact with, no random people. My family is pretty nosy (particularly my mother) and would inquire about any and all new friends and friend interactions. If I wasn't ready to introduce him to family and they may not have known about him yet (I tend to wait a while to tell family, just my style), then nope, no Facebook. If my family had already met him, then having him on Facebook was fine and I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's not always indicative of bad behaviour. Just wanted to throw that out there. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Nope. We have never even looked at each other's FB. We don't care about that crap. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Yes, I am friends with him on Facebook, follow him on instagram and he follows back. I do put him on Acquaintances though. Knowing myself and how sensitive I am, if he likes a bunch of girls' photos, I would probably feel suspicious. So, putting him on aquaintances lets me not have to see that stuff. I don't know if this is good because I feel like I'm lying to myself, but that's what it is. I have it to where i cant see my gf stuff either but we ae still friends..i do it because one of her close friends is annoying and has to post 300 pics everytime there is a girls night out and my gf is tagged in all of them..my gf isnt like that but her friend is soo annoying with that... Link to comment
Fudgie Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Ok this is a good reason! If a boyfriend explained this to me it would be fine by me. If you have 500+ fb friends though ... I stand by my original statement. Yeah absolutely. I would be suspicious if a SO wanted to add random people all the time, left and right, willy nilly, and wouldn't want to add me. I've shown previous partners who weren't "friends" with me on there my FB, to show them a link or something funny I posted, so it's not like I hid my FB, but it was more "yeah this is my page, sorry we can't be friends yet but I don't feel like playing 20 questions with my mom right now". Link to comment
Liraele Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 We are, and have been more or less since we started dating. I'd be OK with not being...it's just Facebook. Not particularly important to me one way or the other. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 We are, and have been more or less since we started dating. I'd be OK with not being...it's just Facebook. Not particularly important to me one way or the other. Yes, it is just FB not a relationship metre. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Yes, it is just FB not a relationship metre. My mom is on FB, my dad isn't. My mom doesn't have a relationship status listed. It's not "single", it's just nothing. I sometimes tease her and tell her that "if it's not FB official, it's not real" just to bother her, of course, I'm totally kidding. People need to remember, FB doesn't = real life, haha. Madamdiva, How is your husband/marriage going? Any updates? Link to comment
christwowheels Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Generally speaking, there aren't too many reasons why your SO would not be an FB friend, although nosy parents poking around on there is a notable exception. Basically there's two ways to deal with nosy parents on FB--keep SO's off of there until the parents have already met them (already explained by Fudgie) or simply not adding your parents on FB (my method). As for the related question about relationship statuses, I think three months is a good waiting period before telling people that you're "in a relationship," because before that, it hasn't had time to blossom and you don't want to be constantly changing your relationship status, am I right? Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I tried it.. once. Ended up removing him because I thought it was too much to see all I did on him vice versa. It caused a problem now n then over him wanting ex's as friends too. so I removed myself from his list. Since then I haven't invited anyone i've dated to my FB. Am okay with that, no need to invite a bf to my friend list.. especially if very new. Link to comment
kara92297 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 No we aren't friends on facebook. We live together but he feels uncomfortable seeing certain things I post. So we unfriended eachother. I'm a free spirit and I'm kinda a flirt and he is too. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable seeing women "like" his posts..especially if it's someone he's dated before. Even though its just facebook...I still get a little jealous lol. Link to comment
Madamdiva007 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 My husband defriended me on Facebook because I kept getting upset about him liking pictures, pages (other girls). It's quite ridiculous, really. But I was bothered because he was never liking any of my statuses or pictures, but he'd like those of his female friends. I made some comment in passing along the lines of, 'maybe we shouldn't be friends on Facebook', and he said 'okay' and deleted me. His page still says he's married to me and he has kept all of my friends on his friends list. He refuses to add me back now, because we haven't been fighting as much since I can't see the 'likes' and such, and honestly he has a point. But it sucks because now I can't tag him in any pictures or comment on them, or see what pictures and statuses he puts up. I honestly wish he'd just delete the damn thing, I'd be more than happy to do that as well. Fudgie, we are doing much better. I've started therapy for my insecurities and anxieties, hubby is on board to go if and when the time comes. Right now I just want to focus on myself though, because I think a lot of our issues stem from how I react to certain things. And if I can minimize my fears of abandonment and insecurities, I think things will be a whole lot better between us. Link to comment
Iggles Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 My husband defriended me on Facebook because I kept getting upset about him liking pictures, pages (other girls). It's quite ridiculous, really. But I was bothered because he was never liking any of my statuses or pictures, but he'd like those of his female friends. I made some comment in passing along the lines of, 'maybe we shouldn't be friends on Facebook', and he said 'okay' and deleted me. Maybe I can chalk it up to being a millennial but I would not be okay with that!! It's juvenile to delete your spouse from Facebook instead of talking it out. And if he is indeed active on FB then it seems passive aggressive of him to not like your statuses/pictures. Unless he had you filtered out, your updates would appear on his newsfeed -- meaning he chose not engage you. My guy is more active on FB than I am and he always comments on my updates. He gets put out at times if I don't comment on his updates! Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I'm unable to wrap my head around why anyone would want to be friends with each other on Facebook, while they're already in a relationship. Of course, to each their own... Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I'm unable to wrap my head around why anyone would want to be friends with each other on Facebook, while they're already in a relationship. Of course, to each their own... Why would is it hard to understand? Are you referring to insecurity issues, like seeing your SO "like" a bunch of girl pics or something? Many guys (at least the ones I know) don't do things like that and FB can be a fun way to share status updates, pictures, etc. Things that you would want to share with your SO or anyone else that you care about in your life. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Why would is it hard to understand? Are you referring to insecurity issues, like seeing your SO "like" a bunch of girl pics or something? Many guys (at least the ones I know) don't do things like that and FB can be a fun way to share status updates, pictures, etc. Things that you would want to share with your SO or anyone else that you care about in your life. No, it has nothing to do with "insecurity issues," but rather having the need to post TMI in regards to their personal life. I understand this doesn't apply to everyone, yet as I said, "to each their own" and this is just my opinion. Link to comment
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