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About christwowheels

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  • Birthday 05/15/1983
  1. The double standard is there, I suppose. Although for me the big thing is that if he asks for or expects oral (and there's a good chance he does), then he should reciprocate; if he doesn't wish to reciprocate, then don't ask for it. It does sound like Jay was forthcoming from the beginning about not wanting to do oral, so it's not like a new concern. I've found that the best way to deal with an issue in a relationship is to make sure it's discussed and that a resolution is developed. In order for that to happen here, it needs to be made clear to Jay just how pressing the issues with sex
  2. On the one hand, I think that if you're giving oral sex to him, he should be giving oral sex to you. On the other hand, if he really hates oral, he's probably never going to be able to fake being excited about it to the point where that part (his excitement) gets you off. What strikes me about the things I've read in your journal (and I haven't read all of it, some here, some there) is that you seem to like to have marathon sex sessions. Nothing wrong with that, but it's going to take a special kind of man to be able to do the things you're looking for in bed, and it may well be that you ca
  3. I would also suggest having some business cards printed up and having them available when you go to these places. It might sound a bit corny, but if someone asks for your number or email or whatever, it does look petty sharp to be able to simply hand them a card. Moreover, it could help your business when you're at the museum things. One thing that's helped me get to know more people is by cultivating an interesting Facebook page over the years. People have referred folks to friend me and while it hasn't necessarily led to a huge amount of offline friendships, it has made for more interesti
  4. It's sad that your friend is such a jerk. I hope you're able to either get her out of your life or compartmentalize things so that you don't get offended by her. She's like a real-life comedian to you and so you can then enjoy the fun and when she runs off it's okay because there's always other things to do. As far as meeting people, you seem to like wine, so I'll just throw out there that you might like to go to a wine tasting or two and see if you meet someone there. Liquor stores in my area regularly advertise these events, and I'm assuming they do them where you're at as well. Worth a s
  5. Judging by what I've read about you and Jay so far, it seems like a T- shirt made by you would be a perfect gift for him. After all, you're an artist and I'm sure that's one of the things he likes about you and so I would recommend going with that. As for the housing search, this is a very good sign. I know you've had some tough moments and doubts about his intentions, but the fact that he's clearly visualizing himself with you for the long haul is a very good sign.
  6. faraday, you strike me as really low maintenance when it comes to emotional availability in a relationship, which is pretty much the opposite of me and my girlfriend. That being said, low maintenance doesn't equal no maintenance, and that's all that Jay seems capable of. It's definitely not too much to ask to have your boyfriend of several months merely take a few minutes out of his day to call you and talk to you and give you a little love. When someone is hundreds of miles away, just hearing their voice on the line means everything and you shouldn't have to be sitting on a park bench some
  7. I'm glad you had the difficult talks with Jay, and I hope you realize the dividends of those awkward conversations as your relationship moves forward. Deep down, I bet you both feel good that all the cards are on the table.
  8. Funny, I think the exact opposite. If my girlfriend and I can't talk at least an hour or two every day, we feel deprived. I guess to each their own, with the caveat that if you can't have deep discussion on your hopes and dreams, it might be hard to traverse the difficulties of a lifelong marriage.
  9. Oh, I totally understand why one might not want kids after 35, Cheetarah. Fertility declines starting around 27, and then falls off a cliff in the late thirties. It just sounds like in this journal, we are hearing about so many moving parts that it sounds like having two kids in the next four years is a big challenge, and even one would be a bit hard. Ultimately, in order for this to work, you're going to need either a man who is okay with your unusual job, or a man who can shoulder the complete financial burden of your family for several years, or both. It's not easy. I'm so glad I don't want
  10. I don't know how you end up married with a kid if you have to live together first and you need to give up your job to live together. It doesn't add up. Your first priority right now is to make sure you have money coming in to support your child. Nobody is saying you're destitute. It's nice that you have financial assets as well as a good income. But you have a kid now and you need to support that kid and that needs to be a priority that comes before Jay. Quitting the job and then not being able to replace that income stream is too big of a risk if you're just going to be living together. You c
  11. If you're making $3,000 a month from this roommate arrangement and you have no hope of making anywhere near that much from other employment, you really need to have a talk with this guy and lay it all on the table. It sounds like you're melting down before any of those talks have even happened though. Maybe after a heart-to-heart with him where all the cards are on the table, Jay will be okay with it. Or not. Heck, maybe you two should just live in the same city but not together until your art takes off. As for another kid, it's amusing to me that you're being so deterministic about when and h
  12. I can see where he's coming from too. I mean, if he was jealous or something and wanted you to not have roommates while you two are just dating, that would be an obvious red flag. But he's just being relatively normal in not wanting to have roommates while he's living with his girlfriend. On the other hand, you're completely within your rights to expect a guy to accept you completely. The downside of that is that it is going to be far more difficult to find somebody. It could happen though--my girlfriend and I have some very unusual plans for our future that most people wouldn't put up with
  13. I probably wouldn't have stayed in a relationship with someone who was texting me insults, so I have a hard time suggesting that you stay with someone like that. At the same time, you clearly love this guy. So if you want to be respected and continue this relationship, my best advice is to get yourselves into therapy. Your boyfriend clearly has anger issues that are coming from somewhere. Now we don't know where exactly, but we know he has outbursts, and maybe there's a way to deal with those issues and preserve the positive aspects of your relationship. Now there's a possibility he won'
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