Diary Of A Redhead

[Jibralta]

1 hour ago, mylolita said:

I'm also not in the business Jib, as I think you are, of banning books because of hard topics, or because the topic and opinions expressed are out dated or offensive. All the more to keep them circulating! It's almost historic really, to have social commentary like that, and if it's entwined into literature - PERFECT! You couldn't captivate people anymore in my opinion!

I agree completely. You can't learn anything if you edit and alter facts. The inherent racism in Gone With the Wind is a lesson in and of itself. Margaret Mitchell highlights a number of societal and character flaws in this book with impressive skill--flaws that are still controversial to this day. But she never really questions racism. Racism is woven into the very fabric of the book, as if it is an inalienable truth. That can make you angry. But if anger prevents you from looking and learning and understanding, you'll never understand how these things come to be, and you'll be powerless to stop them from happening in the future.

[mylolita]

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I agree completely. You can't learn anything if you edit and alter facts. The inherent racism in Gone With the Wind is a lesson in and of itself. Margaret Mitchell highlights a number of societal and character flaws in this book with impressive skill--flaws that are still controversial to this day. But she never really questions racism. Racism is woven into the very fabric of the book, as if it is an inalienable truth. That can make you angry. But if anger prevents you from looking and learning and understanding, you'll never understand how these things come to be, and you'll be powerless to stop them from happening in the future.

Well said Jib, well said!

Here here!

x

[Seraphim]

Gone With The Wind was a fabulous book. I read it at 10 years old. Of course I couldn’t comprehend all the social complexities but I was a romantic at heart as a child and I was just as impetuous so Scarlett appealed to me. However, so did Melanie with her quiet determination and maturity and sense of duty . 

[mylolita]

If ONE more person stops me to tell me how pretty I look, or mentions how young I am, well, by God, I might just scream!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

x

[Jibralta]

10 hours ago, mylolita said:

I did read, look, not to slight any of it at all, but you are given the impression every second person in America owned slaves. I read that actually, at the height of slavery, only something like 1.5% of the American population owned slaves. It was for the ultra rich - and back then, when you were rich, you were rich. I may be wrong - I hope I have my facts right here, open to completely being told I'm remembering what I read off skelter!

I always joke to D that, I am descended from floor sweeping, table serving scrubbers, as my maiden name hails from medieval servitude! So I have to blame my neat freak ways to... genetics!!! And yes, slavery! 

You look back into anyones family history and there is slavery. It was such a normal thing. It was such a normal thing. I'm glad we did away with it, goes without saying - and have to say, am proud that Britain lead the way, as they did with women rights and the right to vote.

I don't know what the proportions were, but there was slavery in both the North and the South. Moreso in the South, where the massive plantations were. Racism made the African slave trade worse than 'normal' slavery. The racism was exacerbated by Colonial laws that made it an illegal punishable offense for white indentured servants to intermingle with black slaves. This had started to happen in Virginia and in the Carolinas, and the wealthy landowners feared an uprising. Hence the laws. I suspect these laws had a devastating impact.

Great Britain did eventually condemn slavery, but it participated in the slave trade for 150 years. And slavery was still permitted in the Colonies for at least another 30 years after the British withdrew from the slave trade. Furthermore, while the British government distanced itself from the issue, British industry continued to support American slavery right up until the Civil War put an end to the matter once and for all. By 1860, almost 90% of British cotton textile was produced by slave labor from the American South. When the Civil War broke out, the Union blockaded the Confederate seaports, making it impossible for plantation owners to ship their crop to Europe. British cotton mills were the primary consumer of the slave-grown cotton in the South, and the Union blockade destroyed the Southern cotton economy. 

[Seraphim]

The thing is too a lot of the African nations sold their own people and actually Portugal was the first country to indulge in buying black slaves and had the biggest slave trade . 

[mylolita]

25 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

The thing is too a lot of the African nations sold their own people and actually Portugal was the first country to indulge in buying black slaves and had the biggest slave trade . 

Unspoken fact, it still goes on in Africa now!

Such a shame all round. I guess we committed the front of the law and made that step, but things take time to change, and when money is involved, it gets messy. Slavery is part of human history in general, it's definitely nothing new, but strange to think only a hundred and a bit years ago it happened. 

I mean, if you own an iPhone, it's involved terrible child labour - and everyone knows this now, and this is directly on us as well, it's our responsibility not to support that, but most of us do, and this is 2023! The mining for cobalt is a rabbit hole you could get down for sure! 

I'm nowhere near saying the UK is perfect, we're not - we had an empire, just like many other great empires in the past, like the Persians and the Romans and the Vikings and so on, but we have handed pretty much everything back, and I think were some of the first to say okay, we've listened to the argument, and this isn't moral. I think the UK is beyond tolerant and really, we've mostly on the whole been softies - tolerant to a fault, actually, and for a tiny island in comparison to the sheer size and population of America, we haven't done too badly in the grand scheme of things!

I totally don't agree with us getting involved with the Ukraine and Russia stuff though, it's pretty scary. What is going on there. I dare not even look into that. 

x
 

[mylolita]

45 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I don't know what the proportions were, but there was slavery in both the North and the South. Moreso in the South, where the massive plantations were. Racism made the African slave trade worse than 'normal' slavery. The racism was exacerbated by Colonial laws that made it an illegal punishable offense for white indentured servants to intermingle with black slaves. This had started to happen in Virginia and in the Carolinas, and the wealthy landowners feared an uprising. Hence the laws. I suspect these laws had a devastating impact.

Great Britain did eventually condemn slavery, but it participated in the slave trade for 150 years. And slavery was still permitted in the Colonies for at least another 30 years after the British withdrew from the slave trade. Furthermore, while the British government distanced itself from the issue, British industry continued to support American slavery right up until the Civil War put an end to the matter once and for all. By 1860, almost 90% of British cotton textile was produced by slave labor from the American South. When the Civil War broke out, the Union blockaded the Confederate seaports, making it impossible for plantation owners to ship their crop to Europe. British cotton mills were the primary consumer of the slave-grown cotton in the South, and the Union blockade destroyed the Southern cotton economy. 

Also remember at this time Jibs, we had our own form of slave labour, and it was called the Work House, and in the Victorian era, little children would be sent there to work in the cotton factories here at home with their mothers, and die not long after, either from malnutrition, factory accidents, or breathing in so much of the cotton fibres they just suffocated to death.

It was a more ruthless time in general I think. We started trying to make a change to all of that, along with the right for women to vote. We took away the death penalty in the 60s which, by the way, I don't agree with - but, you get where I'm coming from - we're mostly softies, in comparison to a lot of other countries, and I'm very proud to be British, which here and abroad is seen as a bit of a dirty word, to be patriotic! But, I think generally, globally, we have been a force for good. 

The English language ain't that bad either 😆 I hear a lot of people who can speak many languages often say they prefer English, as it is the most expressive. Might not sound the most romantic! But it's not too shabby at all!

But no, I didn't watch the Coronation! LOL! I'm not that far in!

x

[Jibralta]

1 hour ago, mylolita said:

The English language ain't that bad either 😆 I hear a lot of people who can speak many languages often say they prefer English, as it is the most expressive. Might not sound the most romantic! But it's not too shabby at all!

Did you ever see the program, The Adventure of English? It's quite old now. You can find the episodes on YouTube. The series discusses the linguistic influences of the various groups that invaded England and provides examples. I thought it was fascinating, especially since I'm American and have limited exposure to the various accents in Great Britain. 

[Seraphim]

28 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Did you ever see the program, The Adventure of English? It's quite old now. You can find the episodes on YouTube. The series discusses the linguistic influences of the various groups that invaded England and provides examples. I thought it was fascinating, especially since I'm American and have limited exposure to the various accents in Great Britain. 

My father-in-law was a Cockney from East London , my mother-in-law is from Kent and speaks more like the King’s English. My grandfather was Scouse or Liverpudlian . And my grandmother’s parents were from Manchester. All very different accents. 

[mylolita]

The rich people want to be around the beautiful people. 

The beautiful people want to be around the rich people.

If you are young and beautiful, you wield a temporary, potent power. If you are young, beautiful, and charismatic, you are near deathly still. If you are young, beautiful, charismatic, rich and intelligent, watch yourself gorge on never being told no, as people scrape their knees across the floor to deliver you everything you want, and hate you, all in one toxic orgy. 

Remain a child and forget your passions, as every impulse is granted, and your soul grows fat on worship. You have, the world at your feet. Watch it all crumble.
 

______

Tears can be
So good for those who dive in them
Oh, let them roll girl, yeah

- 'Tears Can Be So Soft', Christine and the Queens

________

Hey, pay attention and listen to me
'cos I'm a rich white girl and it's plain to see
I got every type of thing that money can buy
Let me tell you all about it let me amplify
I got diamonds
And you heard about those
I got so many that I can't close my safe, at night, in the dark
Lying awake in the cemetery 

- 'Money Can't Buy It', Annie Lennox

________

 

[dias]

Thing is what happens if you are none of that  hahaha 😆 

[mylolita]

4 hours ago, dias said:

Thing is what happens if you are none of that  hahaha 😆 

Join the club Dias, we meet at the bar!!!!!

Only joking! You'll have to optimise your 6 pack and God given talent!!!

x

[mylolita]

On 5/26/2023 at 12:37 AM, Seraphim said:

My father-in-law was a Cockney from East London , my mother-in-law is from Kent and speaks more like the King’s English. My grandfather was Scouse or Liverpudlian . And my grandmother’s parents were from Manchester. All very different accents. 

There are, as well, micro accents everywhere, from town to town, and I mean British towns so very small and only 10-15 minute drive away from each other!

There was a crime documentary I watched years ago, and I remember they got this accent specialist in to try and decipher the whereabouts of this serial killer (he sent a voice recording in) and this guy could pick up all places he had lived in and get him down to a current town(!) just by being able to pick apart this British accent!

I imagine you could do the same with an American one, but because our island is so small, it's really condensed this stuff down I think, so that you get so many ever so slight different variations, only streets apart!

Aren't many original Cockney's left in London now @Seraphim !

x

[mylolita]

On 5/26/2023 at 12:06 AM, Jibralta said:

Did you ever see the program, The Adventure of English? It's quite old now. You can find the episodes on YouTube. The series discusses the linguistic influences of the various groups that invaded England and provides examples. I thought it was fascinating, especially since I'm American and have limited exposure to the various accents in Great Britain. 

I didn't Jib!

But sure thing, of course all language is an amalgamation of other previous things that came before it, and so many other influences, English by far no exception! I would like to maybe allow a little credit for the coming together of it all in the last 1000 years or so to create what is, I think, not too shabby - LOL!

Can we get a little credit? Maybe not! Maybe actually not 😆

x

[mylolita]

Heeeeeeeeeeeere we go again!!!

Oh! Oh! To be a mother of a 5 year old in Reception. OH! What a time to be alive, people!

My son comes home and, in his tired from the day, dreamy way, sighs, "Dad, I think I'll marry a boy instead when I grow up."

Let's just get the perspective on this. My son is blonde, with tight, soft curls, an absolutely objectively handsome, angelic face, rosy cheeked and strong blue eyed. At only 5, I have noticed him go shy around girls, and only a month before, he announced to me he was marrying Dusty, this beautifully sweet girl with the whitest blonde hair you ever did see, who when she slowly walks, looks like a fairy, floating from flower to flower. I know you can't tell, at such a young age, but, my instincts were that, the boy was most likely going to grow up straight, and gather even more women walking behind him - a typical little heart breaker, just like the father! Just like!!!

He also, in his gorgeous, innocent way, thinks "marrying" someone is making them your friend for life. He will often lament that he is going to marry me, or his middle sister, so we can "be together forever". He has no idea about sex or, sexuality. Just the way it should be. He's 5, for Pete's sake. And, he's never obviously asked, so I've never obviously mentioned it. 

But anyway. Me and D both look at each other! D says, "Who told you that?"

And he says, innocently, "Miss Hill."

I question, "Have you been talking about this in school?"

He nods. "Yes Mam, a little bit."

We go on to ask what else they have said, but he is coy and refuses to mention it. I suppose, even though we are trying to be casual and cool, he can probably sense the Parent Interview and thinks he's in trouble. I add, "You're not in bother sweet, we just would like to know what you get taught at school?"

I was already in the head mistresses office only a month or so back having it out regarding the heavy, dark Catholicism and Bible study they seem to have going on in a non-religious Primary School. Oh... she's going to be sick of me!

"Mrs C is going to be sick of me!" I say, throwing my hands up.

"Why Mam?"

D adds, "Nothing son. Your Mum might have a word with the head, that's all." He is looking at me in mutual What The F*ckery. I am looking back, brows raised. 

"Sure thing." I say, "Oh, sure thing!"

We go onto the school website and "Inclusion" is the agenda of the day, and gives examples of families with two Mums or two Dads. Well holy flipping' smokes, excuse me, is it just me, but - what the f*ck?! The kids are 4 and 5 years old?! Sipping their milk on a night?! Why on earth do they need to be educated about adults sexual persuasions?!? This, by the way, is a small coastal town, and I also don't actually know any same sex parents. Why do they need to be taught this stuff so early?! Could it be... could it be! Like the religion?! They need to get in there, while the minds are easily manipulated, impressionable SPONGES?! 

I'm quite liberally minded, as traditional as I am - a big ol' contraction, I know, and I've done some wild things in my time, that are, let's be frank, for after watershed - but part of me is thinking, look... I never even knew this stuff existed until I was about 12. And darn right!!! It's like, outside the norm, let's just be clear! It's a deviation. It's sexual. And, I've been with women myself. But even I'm like... this is my tiny son, what on earth else is being said there?! And by who?!?!

His year is headed up by an extremely flamboyant, camp, gay male teacher. It was part of the reason we stalled him even going in. We waited until another teacher came along to assist. I made excuses for my son to be put into another class, which is lead by a quiet, tender, young woman. (What I have in mind for a Reception teacher, since these kids are only just out of being babies, in my opinion, and need an almost second attentive, soft, mother figure). So this is now part of the inclusive agenda. Human sacrifice and homosexual sex. What about, the ABC's?! Oh, now I'm just a bigoted dum dum!

I'm sorry, but what the hell is going on??? What has education become?!?!?!

Every month, for every great thing my son takes from public school, there is this nagging, sly negative. I think the worst part is the deception of it. I don't have a clue what he's being taught. I figured it would be singing and reading and writing and maths and playing outside. Boy, was I wrong!

I'm sorry. Ship me back to the 50s. I can't take this stuff.

Y'know, in my old age of 33, three kids and married, y'know... I think I am seeing the merit of wholesome family life, the white picket fence, and a roast dinner round the table on a Sunday. Simple, solid, very important things. Parents together, a father figure, a mother figure. Children well monitored, children outside. Tweens getting jobs as soon as they can - gardening, washing the car together - all of that. Anything! ANYTHING! But this?! 

The worst part is, I don't even know what this is?! What's the agenda here? Is there one? Who decides this cr*p? 

Don't care if anyone thinks I'm backwards or homophobic. I know I'm not, so other opinions on that don't bother me. But after having kids, I think the rural cottage and the running through the long grass and gathering up the eggs your chickens hatched the night before seems... about right. People scoff at me when I say, but they maybe don't recognise the shred of truth in everything I joke about. 

I had a conversation with D lately, about a few things. I told him about what is discussed on this forum. He rolled his eyes. "I don't know why you waste your time on that." And, he's right. He is. I come for the journal and end up getting involved in other things and negative things I shouldn't. 

"Do you think I've made myself vulnerable? Having you provide everything?"

He rolled his eyes again and took my hands. "You, vulnerable?" I scrunched up my nose in a cheeky, knowing smile. "Lo - when have we ever done what anyone else does, huh?" He squeezed my hands.

"Hardly ever." I replied.

"Well then?!" He bugged his eyes out like, duhhh! "Stop talking cr*p and let's get on with our day!" He dropped my hands and tapped my behind.

"You gonna send me to my room?" I teased.

"Don't." He breathed, "Don't call my bluff!"

HA!

x

 

[Seraphim]

44 minutes ago, mylolita said:

There are, as well, micro accents everywhere, from town to town, and I mean British towns so very small and only 10-15 minute drive away from each other!

There was a crime documentary I watched years ago, and I remember they got this accent specialist in to try and decipher the whereabouts of this serial killer (he sent a voice recording in) and this guy could pick up all places he had lived in and get him down to a current town(!) just by being able to pick apart this British accent!

I imagine you could do the same with an American one, but because our island is so small, it's really condensed this stuff down I think, so that you get so many ever so slight different variations, only streets apart!

Aren't many original Cockney's left in London now @Seraphim !

x

My father-in-law is gone now but when I first met him some 34 years ago I couldn’t understand a thing the man said. ( he would be 90 this year if he was still alive )He had a very thick accent even though he had been in Canada 29 years at that point . They left the UK because they wanted their kids to have more opportunities in Canada. I couldn’t understand the man at all, later I did easily . Now my husband’s uncle , his dad’s brother you can’t understand him at all. 🤣 He sold his parent’s house in East London that he inherited some years ago and now lives in Littlehampton. My husband’s mother I could easily understand. She sounds like the late Queen. But even though they have/had been Canadian citizens for 58 years you can’t take the British out of them…lol. My husband’s grandparents were born under the reign of Queen Victoria and his grandfathers fought in the First World War. 

[dias]

10 minutes ago, mylolita said:

My son comes home and, in his tired from the day, dreamy way, sighs, "Dad, I think I'll marry a boy instead when I grow up."

Uh! Oh! 

11 minutes ago, mylolita said:

 What's the agenda here? Is there one?

There is always one, coming from the top as always, and it's about money as always among other things. Personally, I believe this is going to "end" the next decade as it has gone too far. Give it 20-30 years and you will see the culture swinging back to conservatism. It might go to the other extreme, usually this is what happens. 

Unfortunately you son is exposed to it. I would definitely suggest searching for another school, or maybe homeschooling?

This is a difficult battle to fight. 

[mylolita]

1 minute ago, dias said:

Uh! Oh! 

There is always one, coming from the top as always, and it's about money as always among other things. Personally, I believe this is going to "end" the next decade as it has gone too far. Give it 20-30 years and you will see the culture swinging back to conservatism. It might go to the other extreme, usually this is what happens. 

Unfortunately you son is exposed to it. I would definitely suggest searching for another school, or maybe homeschooling?

This is a difficult battle to fight. 

I haven't conveyed how, not only FURIOUS, I was, because I felt like they had mentally violated him, but, the horrible, overriding emotion as a mother in all of this, who is, so so close, so close, to all her children, was sadness. Just a deep feeling of sadness.

When you know how innocent and amazing and perfect a child is - the thought of them hearing this stuff, of having to battle with thoughts of this, as all children turn everything over, and in my opinion, are above and beyond, hands down, smarter than most adults... well, it makes my heart do a turn, and a flip, and a roll over, and, not in the good way.

x

[mylolita]

Just now, mylolita said:

I haven't conveyed how, not only FURIOUS, I was, because I felt like they had mentally violated him, but, the horrible, overriding emotion as a mother in all of this, who is, so so close, so close, to all her children, was sadness. Just a deep feeling of sadness.

When you know how innocent and amazing and perfect a child is - the thought of them hearing this stuff, of having to battle with thoughts of this, as all children turn everything over, and in my opinion, are above and beyond, hands down, smarter than most adults... well, it makes my heart do a turn, and a flip, and a roll over, and, not in the good way.

x

The other isolating and upsetting thing about it is, no one else seems to care?

Everyone lets ideas and things roll over them like waves. They accept their lives unthinkingly, with each breath. I feel very alone, apart from my husband. Where is the passion, and where is the fight? 

Does anyone believe in anything anymore?

Hey! Trust me, how ironic is THAT coming from a atheist?!!

x

[Seraphim]

I don’t mind what people are it isn’t any of my business, but I don’t want ANY sexuality taught to little kids whether it be heterosexual or otherwise. Little kids need their innocent happiness as long as possible . 

[mylolita]

Just now, Seraphim said:

I don’t mind what people are it isn’t any of my business, but I don’t want ANY sexuality taught to little kids whether it be heterosexual or otherwise. Little kids need their innocent happiness as long as possible . 

Amen Seraphim!

These kids were in nappies a year before. It's not cool. I'm not really being truthful when I write about this, how passionately I feel about it. Might be the British reserve, we tend to joke a little, as you know with your husbands family! But trust me!!!

But first... a cup of tea.

LOLZ! Ohhh man alive!

Do you ever look back and think... everyone was against it, everyone said I was wrong, everyone thought I was crazy, but... I think I was right? My gut told me to do something, and I went and asked the head, but the head sometimes isn't as truthful as the heart. I tried to consult a part of me on this that I don't normally defer too! Argh! Anyway, we'll sort it out. We'll get this straightened out... no pun intended - HA!

x

 

[dias]

2 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Everyone lets ideas and things roll over them like waves. They accept their lives unthinkingly, with each breath. 

Yes pretty much. Thing is, how can you protect your children from this?? You can't keep them isolated on one hand but you can't let them absorb nonsense on the other. What is the answer?

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Amen Seraphim!

These kids were in nappies a year before. It's not cool. I'm not really being truthful when I write about this, how passionately I feel about it. Might be the British reserve, we tend to joke a little, as you know with your husbands family! But trust me!!!

But first... a cup of tea.

LOLZ! Ohhh man alive!

Do you ever look back and think... everyone was against it, everyone said I was wrong, everyone thought I was crazy, but... I think I was right? My gut told me to do something, and I went and asked the head, but the head sometimes isn't as truthful as the heart. I tried to consult a part of me on this that I don't normally defer too! Argh! Anyway, we'll sort it out. We'll get this straightened out... no pun intended - HA!

x

 

Because I had my innocence stolen so young. I was first sexually assaulted at 6 and how that has affected my life I feel forcing sexual knowledge of any kind on children is disgusting. A beautiful innocent childhood filled with childhood things is best. I am so so glad my child had that. My child did go to a religious school but sexuality wasn’t  raised until health class in the context of health until 6th grade when they are like 11/12 . 

[mylolita]

1 minute ago, dias said:

Yes pretty much. Thing is, how can you protect your children from this?? You can't keep them isolated on one hand but you can't let them absorb nonsense on the other. What is the answer?

I feel confident and hope that, already, with having him solidly at home for 4 years, we have instilled in him his own natural independence Dias, and pure questioning, and curiosity, for the sake of it, and hopefully built him up and allowed him the space to be himself without any tutting or poking fun of, that he is already self assured enough and intelligent enough to make his own mind about certain things, and be strong enough to have his own opinion.

I'll slowly ask him a few things over the half term. He's at home with us all for 11 days now. I've been so looking forward to it! 

He got told off once by a Mum because during playing in a sand pit, there was this heavy metal bucket on a rope you could fill with sand, to empty down this Shute, and he said, "Can I take this and do this for you?" to a girl who looked about 3 at the time (he was 4) and then added, "Girls can't lift heavy things like this." And, he was just being a total and complete gentleman, and should of been darn awarded! And the girl was besotted by the way, and gave him that metal bucket happily, and they had a system where he was winching it up and she was sorting and patting the sand with my other daughter, and her Mum looked shocked and immediately spouted, "Girls can do anything they want to do! This is not just a boy thing!" 

I mentally rolled my eyes. And to his credit, even in front of a fully grown woman, he happily said, "I am helping her."

TRUE!

C'MON PEOPLE!

So Dias, hopefully, I am raising a free spirited, individualistic, gentleman here. Who hopefully isn't going to take any of this deep down. I do have my doubts though. I'll have a chat with him, one to one, when we go out on a drive. We're such great friends. We talk all the time. I'll openly ask him what he thinks, in a very simple way, and go from there. I don't think there's much else I can really do. Of course, y'know me, I'll be back in the office (yawn!) but, we know I'm not going to change a national curriculum. And, I'm not going to pull him out of school either. He adores it, has a group of friends who are boys, all in the "popular crowd", already has joined a football team (he's actually a little natural, and the coach commented he couldn't believe he'd never played before! Forget the intellect, he might be the next Roonie!!!) and he just loves the actual work as well. As you say, I want a normal life for him. It's already kind of alternative and bohemian enough, with D being in the art world, and me for a mother, so keeping other things normal and bland and lovely is a priority for me!

Thanks for the support by the way! It's nice to not feel like the only heathen on the block!

x