Ultimatum....

[Capricorn3]

Okay whatever.. We are once again getting nowhere because people and there biased opinions on who he is.... I am saying straight up that I have the problems with trust, and for good reason,

 

I know what I need to do , I just was hoping there was someone on here that could help encourage us to get back to the healthy side of our relationship

a lot of the time, it's me blowing up on him because the ex gf is in the picture, which just hurts.....but over all, reading all of the people who post comments on my post are not helping, they are just making things worse than they previously were in my mind....

 

Maybe I do need counseling, but really, I just need a friend.... Apparently this isn't the place to find that type of of unbiased advise....

I don't think people are being biased at all simply because this is an ongoing case for the past five years in which nothing ever changes. People can't encourage you to get back together to a "healthy" side of your relationship, because it has never been healthy, ever. People can't support a train wreck. This "relationship" is a disaster and has never really worked from the get-go, and STILL not working. Five years of the same thing, over and over again. Doesn't that tell you something??

 

Also, you say you don't trust him, and with good reason. That already indicates a relationship is doomed, because without trust, you have nothing. Trust is one of the main ingredients in a happy, healthy and successful relationship. You will always have trust issues - it won't suddenly magically disappear overnight.

 

Yes, I think almost everyone here would agree with you that counseling sounds like a very good idea.

[Moontiger]

"...this is an ongoing case for the past five years in which nothing ever changes. People can't encourage you to get back together to a "healthy" side of your relationship, because it has never been healthy, ever. People can't support a train wreck.

 

Yes, I think almost everyone here would agree with you that counseling sounds like a very good idea.

 

This. OP, no one here is being mean, they are being honest. We base our advice off the information you provide. Think of it this way, lets say you have a group of people and person A ask them for advice.

 

Person A: "I don't know what to do. Every summer the river near me floods and I have to evacuate. There is always a ton of damage to my property. What should I do?"

 

The group logically advises that the person move. Based on the information provided there is no evidence that doing anything else would change the situation. A few months later Person A comes to the group again.

 

Person A: "The river flooded again! I don't know what I;m going to do! How will I pay for all the repairs."

 

The group once again advises that the person moves.

 

Person A: "You don't understand. Its a GREAT location, really beautiful, I'm really close to work, and the view is wonderful."

 

All those factors are fine, but it doesn't change the fact that this person A has to deal with flooding every single year. The group points this out to them.

 

Person A: "No! You don't understand I LOVE this location! Why are you all being so negative???"

 

This is basically what is happening here. You are providing us with information, we advise you based on that information, you then start saying things that are not relevant to the issue at hand, such as your "souls" being attracted to each other. Ok, fine, doesn't change anything. Doesn't change that he is a cheater. Same goes for him leaving his job, etc. None of that effects the primary issue through out your threads over these past five years.

 

You know what a friend is? Someone who is willing to tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear. You have a lot of friends here even if you don't realize it. We are here to help you. But its up to you to start making healthy choices.

[sara-pezzini]

thing is, when people watch someone about to be hit by a train they don't say go on ahead either..

sometimes outsiders see things we don't see because we are stuck in the situation, an outside perspective can wake us up, but you dismiss everything we say on here and carry on like this for 5 years now

this is not a healthy loving relationship and it never will be....he cheated with you, on you over and over again, so he will not stop, it was not a one-off, he did it over and over again, it is who he is, and he will most likely cheat again in time, it is just waiting for the bomb to drop...

but if you come here to ask for advice but all you really want is for people to agree with everything you say and tell you to carry on with this man, then this is not the right place....

we react to your threads and posts and we call it like we see it, and none of that is meant to hurt you, but rather to get you to see, open your eyes....

[lavenderdove]

>>Maybe I do need counseling, but really, I just need a friend.... Apparently this isn't the place to find that type of of unbiased advise....

 

Friends don't tell you to keep carrying on with a man who repeatedly cheats on the women in his life, quits a full time job to get into financial trouble, juggles multiple women at the same time, lies and lives a double life with them. The advice is extremely unbiased here. You are just refusing to give up your fantasies that he's a 'good' man and you'll have a happy ending with him. You won't. You'll just get more of the same, where periodically he heads your way, then eventually he cheats and heads another way, then he bounces back again, rinse and repeat. You have ample evidence of who he really is, but you prefer to believe his pretty words and lies rather than looking at his actions and behavior over time which tell the true story.

 

You may get 6 months to a year of the 'good' him, then he'll be jumping in with some new woman (or a former GF) and then you get a year or two of the 'bad' him and this pattern will repeat, as it already has multiple times. So you'll be hopping between being his main woman and then his side woman for the rest of your life as he rotates various women in and out of these roles.

 

What you are upset about is that people are not telling you what you want to hear, that he is going to mutate into a wonderful guy who is eternally faithful and loves only you. Never gonna happen, even if he does play at it for a while now and again.

[delicous]

I know what you all are saying...Try feeling the love though .... Have you ever loved someone even if they screwed up? Parents do it all the time, husbands and wifes do it all the time....People who love each other try to work it out, do they not? Maybe you guys are right, it's best to just kick him to the curb and forget about him, and live my life happy and forever happy...... The problem is, every time we have broken up, I have gotten into the deepest depression, sometimes losing jobs over crying so much, uncontrollable crying, negative thoughts...and I stopped taking care of myself, stopped doing everything I loved and seeing friends.... I am fearful this time, I might actually take my life. This is no joke to me.....Breaking up after so much hope, after so much thought, just so much energy was put out there for so many years.....

 

It's hard to just let him go, say goodbye and be happy. My unhappiness never went away, my happiness only truly returned when he came back to me...... I don't know how to get over this hump.......If we do break up I have pictured and invisioned myself cutting a deep slip into my inner thigh and through the middle of my wrist and up...I have also pictured things like running in front of a semi and dying completely with no chance of being revived, I have thought of taking pills...Matter of fact, prior to being back with him, I was starting to love Xanex....I felt like I needed them in order to relax or fall asleep completely....

 

This isn't just a crush , this is a man who I thought I was supposed to spend my life with, who I have told over and over again that I love and care for and want to be with him, take care of him and just be happy together. Why can't this be the case? I don't understand what I did wrong to get myself at this low...He's coming over to talk about where I am going to go to have this abortion, and I am so sad and upset because I'd of loved to have a child with him..... He tells me it's possible in the future when he is more financially secure, but.....I feel like if I do this abortion, its gonna cause me to commit some type of harm to myself......and cause so much pain, I am so scared of doing it, and this is the 2nd time...... Him and I won't be able to have sex post abortion- I am afraid he might stray, if he hasn't already. Most of you seem to believe he actually had sex with someone else and strayed....Yet I am with him at his house all of the time, 5x a week 2 times a weekend sometimes...with maybe 1 day not being there, and being at my own place...I don't see where he'd have the time to juggle like that, especially since we talk on the phone, even when I am staying at my place.......

 

It's the ex situation that it just hurting at this point in time..... I know he has to deal with the car situation....but it hurts for him to of told me he would not be friends with her, and hang out with her, yet...this car situation....I am afraid will bring him to cheat again, because I know she wants him back still, he even told me so. He told me if he really wanted her back, he wouldn't be with me..... I just need to trust him and that is what I wish so desperately that I could do....

 

In an email prior to even meeting up, i told him I don't wanna get back together with him because of the trust issue and if we do decide to, be prepared for that......He said he understood, and even gave me the password to his phone. He then changed his mind whenever I wanted to check in on him........I know it's not right to go and do things like that in a loving healthy relationship....... I just don't know how to trust him anymore.

[Moontiger]

Delicious, this is NOT a healthy relationship nor does it have any chance of being one.

 

Please, please seek therapy for everything you are feeling. You need a real life person to talk about these things with. I found my therapist here: link removed

 

Be selfish!!! Do what is good FOR YOU, not for anyone else, screw him, screw everyone else in the world. Start spending sometime taking care of yourself. I was listening to the radio a few months ago and the program was about way to start eating healthier. One way I though was really interesting and can apply to a lot of different things in life. Its called "Self Compassion". In terms of dieting it works this way: You walking into the kitchen and see a plate of cookies. You know that if you eat all the cookies you are going to feel terrible in an hour. So, you have compassion for yourself and say "I'm going to make a choice that will make me feel good not bad." And you have an apple instead because you will feel better in a hour for having eating that instead of of the cookies.

 

You can apply this to your dating life. He is the really nice looking plate of cookies. But everytime you eat them you feel terrible later. So, start having some self compassion. Step away, as much as you want them, tell yourself, "I'm going to make the choice that makes me feel good in the long run not the short run."

[Capricorn3]

I have pictured and invisioned myself cutting a deep slip into my inner thigh and through the middle of my wrist and up...I have also pictured things like running in front of a semi and dying completely with no chance of being revived, I have thought of taking pills...Matter of fact, prior to being back with him, I was starting to love Xanex....I felt like I needed them in order to relax or fall asleep completely.....

OP, you seriously NEED professional counseling/therapy. Just read the above several times. You are not in a healthy place right now. Add to that, you plan on having an abortion soon and that alone needs therapy to help you deal with it all. You already have such unhealthy thoughts, can't even deal with ending a relationship without thinking about suicide. That's just not normal (imo). Please, get the help you desperately NEED.

[delicous]

I am not feeling any happier today. Him and I talked yesterday for a pretty long period of time. He doesn't have the emotional bond that I do to having a baby, having that one person more precious than anyone and who I can truly say came from me, and is my child. I don't think he gets it, how I am feeling....... He really doesn't. He is more logical in the fact that A) We have no house, B) We can't afford a down payment or mortgage on a house and he just doesn't want to have to rent, and C) He just quit his job, has no actual "for sure" income... And then the fact that I just had to start all over again with my job making the least amount of money that I have ever made, and most important, I think is is that fact that him and I are barely holding on to what we have.... We made the baby out of being in love or at least "thinking we are in love" and then....It turned out to be a big huge mistake, now I am suffering and have to go through with yet another abort.

 

He did weigh the ins and outs, didn't just say "get the abortion" but laid down so many reason why we just aren't ready for this baby. He mentioned he wants a family of his own and a child with me ...just not right now, and mentioned how if I can just stick it through with him through all these ups and downs....and through the uncertainty, if he does end up being hired where he'd like to work, things will get easier in both his life and my own.

 

He could just be feeding me a bunch of horse crap, and I even looked at him, like..."ya right, after I get this abortion, you are gone........" and he called me out on it, and said that "there is no garentee of what future holds..." I am just feeling so so insecure latly, not as loved by him.....abandoned, yet he is still he in front of me, does that make since? He is still answering his phone, calling me, having me come over to his place often, spending weekends with me................Even before finding out I was preg, and having our fight, we spoke the next day, saw each other that night......... I know councelling is a good idea....I don't have money to pay for it tho.....

 

I am just so nervous about everything. He will be making calls today to find a place that is open past 5pm....bc i work til that time....And hopefully I can go get the consult today after work, or friday, and be set for surg, or taking the pill on next week, if it's still an option...Either way, this unborn is coming out of me

 

So...yeah, might be selfish of me or of "us" to do.....But the alternative just screams bad times....

 

Moontiger: You make a great point, he is a lot like a plate full of delicous cookies that give me a stomach ache later on......but I love cookies and can't give them up for an apple. I 'd rather just change from within myself, love myself more and go from there and then I think I'll be able to make a clear and concise decision if I really wanna be with him or not?.......

 

I am nervous tho....really am...I could be hendering myself from having kids ever....it's scary....

[Moontiger]

Love yourself enough to emerald away from him. Forever.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mhowe]

Love yourself enough to emerald away from him. Forever.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

what does this mean?

[Moontiger]

That was supposed to say "walk away"

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[sara-pezzini]

gotta love auto correct lol...i was wondering too, emerald?? lol

[delicous]

It sounded pretty though.... It's not that I don't love myself...It's just when it was good......... It felt really really good, like I had him as both my boyfriend and my best friend, I felt so connected with him, our jokes, looks on our face, expressions, smiles all lined up perfectly........ Our intimacy was out of this world, we knew we were play with fire, yet still played with it and look where we are now ........ I don't know if I should take anyone advise, I just want to know what you guys think, and kind of make my own decision up from there. I do love him still, I care a tremendous amount for him and for myself....It's not that I don't care for myself, it's just that I fear being lost with out him........

 

I know that sound crazy to most of you...Sometimes I do feel like I am crazy...at least I admit being crazy, right? I am trying to remain sane as I can under these sort of circumstances, u know? I just wish I had more of a support system than I do...I have hardly any friends, and he feels like he is my only friend at times.....I get on facebook, got my friends there, but....They aren't in person with me on the daily, weekly, not even monthly basis..... They are just acquaintances.... I don't know, just really love him....don't want this pregnancy to ruine everything between us.... and I am not ignoring the facts- the realness of the situation, I just want to fix it. I am that person who is always wanting to fix things, and over thinking every situation...................I don't know how else to explain what I am feeling.....

[mhowe]

You haven't followed a word of advice in 5 years.

You remain steadfast in your pronounced love in the face of factual instances to the contrary.

You are destined to remain confused and frustrated until you seek therapy.

[Capricorn3]

I don't know if I should take anyone advise, I just want to know what you guys think,...

OP, with all due respect, members have been telling you what they think for the past five years. Nothing has changed. Everyone STILL thinks the same thing and advises the same thing. Opinions have not change one iota. You can continue posting about this situation for the next ten years and you'll STILL receive the exact same advice as before. People will eventually give up and not bother giving advice anymore because nothing ever changes.

 

I don't mean to be harsh, but you continuously ask for advice, get so much really good, wholesome and constructive advice. People have spent many many hours typing out very thoughtful and helpful advice, but you choose to ignore it all ... only to come back again and again with the same questions. What's the point??

 

You really NEED to seek professional counseling to sort out your many issues because you will bring all of this into future relationships which will all crash and burn. Please get help.

[Moontiger]

You need to build a support system. It takes time. You need to get out in the world and meet real life people you can be friends with. Go to some meetup groups, most are free so you don't have worry about the cost. Many thearpist will work on a sliding scale for you so call around and email a few if you are serious about wanting to be happy.

 

This is guy is a weight on you keeping you from living the life you could.

 

I'm not trying to be negative but just point something out. "It's just when it was good.......it felt really really good" and "I felt so connected with him" are irrelevent. They are the "My house is near work and has a great view" argument when your house is flooding. That is the problem you have to face not matter what other factors there be.

[delicous]

Capricorn3---

 

I guarantee you, people DO NOT spend hours typing out what they think. The same advise over and over again that I should leave him, but no real advice about how to help "him and I" just focused on the easy advise "leave him and be happy..." Yeah OKAY?..... The only ones who did help and try to are the ones I am still in contact with through Private Messenger on here... I don't expect everyone to understand, just wish people would stop saying the cliche lines just because they want to try to give advise, i'd rather them not give any advise if they haven't been through it or can relate to it? What is the point?

 

You haven't followed a word of advice in 5 years.

You remain steadfast in your pronounced love in the face of factual instances to the contrary.

You are destined to remain confused and frustrated until you seek therapy.

 

How do you know I didn't follow a word of advise? I actually did..broke up, accepted the break up after a lengthy amount of time, cut contact completely, then....we got back in contact again... We went a good 6 months NC, if not longer..... I missed him through out the entire time of NC, including when I was with someone else..... How can you say goodbye to love? I find it makes no sense? Why would you give up on something that once made you very happy? I was so happy, and so excited all the time to be with him, and he was with me as well, we were like little teens in love...... CRAP has happened that has caused problems, but do you not believe forgive and forget? I am trying my best to still follow those words....... I want to forget about the crap he put me through 2 years ago....

 

Moontiger, I see what you are saying. I did not know there were counselors out there that work with the pricing, so I will seek help...I am hoping the counselor can actually help me be a better person and not just pressure me to break up with him... I do love him. I don't know if anyone will ever get it exactly...I tried my best to explain though..... I only give advice on here to people when I have actually been through it myself, or can relate in a very familiar, "I remember it like yesterday" type of way. I rarely try to give advice to those who I have not been through the shoes of...... I just feel like most of the people who are telling me leave him, break up..... don't understand exactly how hard it is to do to someone who you still see "even a glimpse" of a happy future with.....

 

I'll try to get the counseling though....That I do know I need. And don't think I don't appreciate those who are truly trying to help....I just don't see how you guys don't see the changes... He has made some changes that are very big..... Why do you do nothing but bash him and make me want to hate him? I don't and never will, even if we did end up not working out, i'd always have a place in my heart for him.... It's just the way it is... Him and I are both struggling financially, he's got past baggage and I should of never gotten mad at him over it... It's something that happened prior to our reconciliation. I am a bit jealous, but that's not his fault especially since I told him, lets leave the past in the past....

 

Since Feb when we got back together, we were two peas in a pod for a good 4 or so months, the 5th month, which is this month is when things really started feeling different.... Financial crap came up, pregnancy came up..... We will get past this, I just wish some of you could understand how badly I want to get past this and help me KEEP love in our relationship and not let it DIE...You know?

 

I'll be trying my best to not freak out over dumb things that are not in my control. I will always admit when I am wrong, even if it takes a couple days to do so, and I will always be honest and upfront...I am just missing a little of the "Finess factor." I am not very good at delivering bad news, and I am not very good at confronting people, especially him... I'd like to improve myself though because I love him, and he was at one point bringing out the best in me, and I in him....Why can't ex's work things out? We were...... It's just a lot has happened And maybe we need a break, maybe spend less time together to remind each other what we both have and hopefully miss each other and continue on the str8 and narrow Vs having all this tension and unresolved conflicts in our energy........

 

I don't know, just my thoughts....Anyone who has ever really made it work, please feel free to respond back or message me.....

[Seraphim]

So no one else understands love?

[Moontiger]

Get therapy. It will do you a world of good. A therapist job is not to tell you what to do or what not to do but to make the healthiest choices in your life. Be open to all suggestions.

 

Look, there is NO helping the two of you because inorder for the two of you to be a healthy couple he would have to completely change who he is. That, frankly, is never, ever, ever, going to happen. Can I see into the future? No, but what I can do is observe what is true is 99.99999% of cases. The simple fact is people RARELY change.

 

Now, you suggesting that no once should or could offer advice because they have not been as "in love" as you think you are (you're not, you're obessesed but that is a completely different topic) well, to bring it back to my flooding house example, this would be like the person saying the group "How can you tell me to move when NONE of you have ever lived in a house this great! How can you tell me to move when none of you have a view like mine!" The house is still flooding, the only solutions is to move. Just because the group has not lived in an similar house doesn't mean their advice is not sound/completely correct.

 

We don't acknowlege his changes because there have been none. He is still back and forth with you, still uses you, still tells you what you want to hear to keep you around, still breaks your heart. Sorry I;m not going to give him credit for something like, not talking to an ex any more when 1) He should have done that in the first place 2) It took way longer than is reasonable 3) He continues to exhibit untrustworthy behavior.

 

What is the longest length of time in the past five years you can say for 100% sure he was seeing you and only you? Not talking to any ex's, not sleeping with anyone else, living with anyone else, etc. It doesn't add up to a lot.

 

IF you post we will advice. But just like if someone came on here asking for advice on how to commit suicide (to use an extreme example) I'm not going to give you advice that will keep in you in a emotionally and mentally abusive relationship.

[HeartGoesOn]

Anyone who has ever really made it work, please feel free to respond back or message me.....

 

I think what you mean is, "anyone who will tell me what I want to hear, please feel free to respond." I've also followed your threads for years, and I think it's sad that you refuse to take the constructive advice offered here.

 

This is not meant to sound harsh, but unless you seek therapy/counseling, you're in for much more unnecessary heartbreak.

[Cheetarah]

Holy cow, it is the same story with you every time. And you resent the advice you're given because you are dead set on thinking you're experiencing some kind of special love that the rest of us never have. If ONLY you committed to your own personal growth the way you do this guy. You would be on top of the world, feeling fabulous. You've got your energies in the wrong place.

 

Friends aren't people who tell you what you want to hear, they don't enable you to continue to destroy your life. A true friend has your best interests in mind and speaks from that place.

 

Your situation is no more loving and special than the next. It's just that your thoughts are not healthy and your unhealthy thoughts are what is contributing to this roller coaster. If you loved yourself, you would not keep going back for more for years. I worry for you because of that lack of basic self-awareness. That is what keeps us trapped in really unhealthy situations.

[Moontiger]

OP, I thought it would be helpful to you to get a snap shot of the last five years with this d-bag. I don't have enough time right now to get through all the past threads but I did get through 2009 and most of 2010.

 

Basically this is the time line: You dated and lived together, you supported him for a few years. Then he meet someone else and dumped you. He the gave you a tone of mixed messages and you became more depressed and obsessed as time went on.

 

 

From 2009:

The man of my life: “I know for a fact that I’m obsessing and being a little "crazy."

Money: “He owes 5000 dollars to the army, has 2 credit cards, many late fees,overdraft fees in one bank and works 6 hours a day making a womping 8 bucks per hour at a grocery store”

Love?? Religion?? What’s wrong with us? : “We didn't have to many problems in the beginning,” (See above quotes from previous threads)

 

“We fight, I thought i would never say this, but we do, about little

petty things, sometimes its to do with me nit picking about money or

insecure about him going in early to work and accuse him of cheating.”

“he raised his fist at me like he was going to

punch me...he didn't, hes never hit me, but is it leading to it?

Am i being smart by asking about this or does this seem more like a rant

to you guys?

Are we good together or doomed to fail, Come on Be

Honest,”

 

“I feel so annoyd right now but at the same time do not want to be alone.” (I bolded this for a reason)

 

 

My Boyfriend :sigh:

“he sometimes freaks out on me when i tell him anything that

bugs me and upsets me, like not making eye contact when

saying i love you”

(Your response to advice) “sorry i dont know what to say to you response..

im not insecure and i don't believe i over reacted..

I wanted a simple response or sign that he still

really loves me..Looking to the side in distraction while saying

i love you too is a BIG deal to me”

 

I honestly don’t know what to do

“I want to get intimate so much more than he does, like if we do have

sex its only maybe twice a month if even that, I miss the beginning

when wed do it everyday and everynight and every afternoon..

its not like that anymore and thats another reason why

I am thinking the way I am...”

 

What should I do

“I am afraid my boyfriend is attractive to my bestfriend.”

 

Is Caring Enough

“Even though, we care about eachother and one day want to marry, I feel like this is a dead end, he doesn't fufill me enough emotionally and I don't seem to intrigue him like I did when we first started dating. He gave me an analogy the other day, that when you squeeze sand in your hand, the sand escapes, well thats how he feels about our relationship, he told me this lastnight. I don't know what to do, but I do, but will I be making a mistake.”

 

2010

Help: “he called me a selfish piece of * * * * this morning around 4am because I told him I was mad at him for not staying up with me or making love to me the day he had off. As soon as I got home, he was sleeping and didnt wake up for anything.”

Break up or wait: “He use to make me feel wanted and needed but not anymore.

this is pretty big because I love him and I don't see myself

being without him. But at the same time, I can't think of

anything to do to make this change. If he isn't going to change

into the man I fell for origionally what are the chances of

us making it, really? I mean if I really need this, what is the point

anymore. I want to cry but that doesn't help.”

 

Fear being cheated on: “My man and I have been together for 3 1/2 years now. I am 22 and he is 28. Everything is starting to feel different. He yells at me at least once a week about

stuff I can control but do not honestly have the energy to do like I should

clean more, most of the laundry in the laundry room is mine so I need

to hang it up. Basically it involves me cleaning more. That is one of the

biggest things he likes to yell at me about.”

 

“At this point in time I am stressed out about him finding another

girl, one that is smarter than me, prettier than me and just

everything that he wants and is afraid to say. I honestly believe

we are not a match anymore and i am beginning to feel like we are

slowly parting.”

 

“he likes to ignore me and likes to yell at me about things

a wife should do, yet....I don't have a ring on my finger.

I am pretty fed up but at the same time I love him... But is love

really enough? I love my puppy but if she ever violently attacked me,

I wouldn't hesitate to put her down. Well that's how I am starting to feel..”

 

Going through breakup: “I just recenlty, last monday split with my boyfriend of 3 years.

He is the one who decided.”

“asked him if we broken up entirely or if we are just on a break and

he replied back, don't know how much more clear i can make this that

we aren't together anymore. so i replied back asking why he

was telling me we should go to dinner in the future and possibly get

back together...that to me sounds like a break, more than anything.

he sent me a text that says "hi honey made it to work safe, i love you and can't wait to hold you." and then replied shortly after, that was a text from a month ago, i sent that to you and his friend and then said, I am sorry.”

 

I still love him even though he hurt me so bad: “First saying because i was suffocating him, but then later

he told me he met someone else. So now I know if probaly wasn't

something I was doing or was it?

 

I am really hurt, this girl has 2 kids and is a few years older than him

He told me he is planning on moving her and the kids in.

Doesn't that mean they have known eachother longer than just

the time of us being apart, which means I think I may have been cheated on

which leads me to believe he lied to me when he told me he never cheated.

Unless...his interpretation of cheating is different than mine.”

 

No matter what advise I get, I am thinking the old way: “He lied to me and told me he knows

he will never find someone who loves him as much as me and that he

doesn't want to spend the time to get to know another person and

that he just wants some time alone to figure out himself and that I

need to do the same. I need to learn to live on my own and

love myself more and he told me until I do so, I will never have a good

relationship.”

 

“The reality of the situation is that he confined in another girl other

than me, the girl he spent 3 years of his life with. And he grew

strong feelings for her and now he wants to move her in. He is such

a sweet person other than that, he did have his mood swings

and sometimes I couldn't stand the stand offish attitude towards me,

but even that didn't get me to cheat or confine in another man.”

 

“My friends and family and even his family keep telling me I will

find some one better who treats me the way I deserve to be treated

but now its like...what happened? Can someone wake me up

from this God aweful dream and shake me?...I feel like I was

played so badly, so non forgivingly that I should just crawl in a whole

and die. But Im not doing that...I just need advise on how to move on

and keep him away from my life.”

 

Want Ex back:

(Your response to everyone pointing out he choose a different girl over you, notice is exactly what you are saying YEARS later): “You all don't know us, you didn't know him...I am venting and it doesn't make it any easier to do when everyone is against every comment I make.”

 

“can't grasp my finger around the fact that it is actually over and hes done with me, just like that.

When he knows I would do anything for him and he knows I wanted to do councelling and he knows

I was there for the long run...To just up and leave me over something like this, it feels so out of his

character...And it is just hard to grasp, its hard to accept and its even harder to FORGET. I don't want to

forget him, I don't want to have any feelings of hate or dislike for him.”

 

“i asked one of his fam members to have him contact me yesterday...he did but not in a good way.

he was really quiet and very cold and very emotionless..he asked me why i wanted him to call

and i said i wanted to hear his voice and see how hes doing...didn't say anything, he just said

he hopes im doing good and that he is doing good..and I couldn't say much more and hung up

on him...he called back only to tell me he doesn't want me to call his fam members and they

don't want to be the messenger between us and he said we are done. he doesn't want

to talk to me or see me and that i should respect his new relationship....

Im devestated..”

[delicous]

The post you listed is a post from my previous relationship prior to him....But thanks for a the timeline of my previous bf prior to him?

......I don't know what to say?

[Moontiger]

The post you listed is a post from my previous relationship prior to him....But thanks for a the timeline of my previous bf prior to him?

......I don't know what to say?

 

I was unaware of that. I thought it was the same guy. So, when did you FIRST meet this current guy.

 

I find it interesting that, given what I posted was not about this current guy, it still reveals a patter with you and how you react to advice. With this previous guy you reacted to people telling you things you didn't want to hear by telling them they just didn't understand. Just like you are now.

[sara-pezzini]

think this was the first thread about him

 

i do agree with moontiger though, reading back your old threads, also from the previous relationship do tell a story, you keep getting into the same situations, and also the replies to advice are basically the same....