My ex wife is threatening to stop me seeing my son

[LondonD]

My partner and I separated in October last year. The relationship became very volatile.

 

My ex is unable to handle her emotions, if I say no to her requests she becomes abusive and will text me constant abuse for hours, interfering with my work.

 

She tells me I make her since, she hates me,she found out I was seeing someone, contacted them on facebook and told her I was ''riddled with STD's'' (not true).

 

I refused a request today due to work related obligations, my two year old son is staying 30miles away from me.

 

As I refused she began abusing me by text for two hours.

 

It resulted in her telling me she will stop me seeing my son (who I adore and see every weekend) and that she will turn him against me as soon as he's young enough to understand. There is no formal contact order in place currently

 

This is killing me. Please give me advise.

[Seraphim]

Get a lawyer and fast. Also save every single text she sends you. And show those to the lawyer.

[JA0371]

I would tell her to stop contacting you unless it's regarding your son...and then I would definetely save all her messages from this point on. Get a lawyer.

[metrogirl]

Well if there is no formal order, then get one. Clearly you know she is unstable, that should have been your first plan of action.

[lostandhurt]

Why don't you have a formal custody agreement? This is your number on priority. Scrape together all the money you can find and hire a lawyer today!!!

 

You need to get this settled or you will be living like this for years and years.

 

Lost

[avman]

As everyone else mentions - go get a formal contact order. And get it right now. Otherwise (depending on the jurisdiction) she may very well be able to stop you from seeing your son because you've got nothing court ordered to back you up.

 

Save all those abusive texts too. They may come in handy for a custody hearing or investigation to show how unstable your ex really is. Then if she plays nice in front of them you have proof what she does when they aren't watching.

[redswim30]

 

Save all those abusive texts too. They may come in handy for a custody hearing or investigation to show how unstable your ex really is. Then if she plays nice in front of them you have proof what she does when they aren't watching.

 

^^ This. Also, the only person she is hurting with these threats is herself. Show them to a lawyer immediately, and get their advice. I don't know where you live, but in the US a crazy ex with no proof of any wrongdoing, can't prevent a parent from seeing their child.

You could probably fight for full custody here, since she sounds like a psycho.

 

I hate it when people like your ex punish their own children over their adult jealousies. That's a horrible kind of sickness.

 

Get a lawyer ASAP!!! Best of luck to you!

[LondonD]

"I hate it when people like your ex punish their own children over their adult jealousies. That's a horrible kind of sickness."

 

My thoughts exactly. She will threaten me, call me names, tell me she will alienate me from my son. The next day she denies it! In the relationship she would dump me on a Monday and by the Wednesday deny that she had and tell me I was a "drama queen". This is called gas lighting and is a classic BPD trait.

 

The whole relationship I was accused of sleeping with X, sleeping with Y. She would wait until I fell asleep and hack into my phone, hotmail, facebook and chat with people pretending to be me.

 

She did this on Saturday night when I stayed at her parents in order to see my son. She actually used my finger print to unlock my phone as I slept, she then sat up until 5am messaging people. We have been separated for months!

 

If this continues I will speak to a solicitor about harassment.

[uniqueme]

Agreed, get a lawyer quick! It's sad to see that she is willing to turn a child against his own father. This woman is crossing the line and you need to protect yourself and your son fast.

[BlueRizla]

OP.. my son was 4 months old when I applied to the courts. I didn't waste any time. The first hint of my ex messing around with my relationship with my son and I took action. It was hard. Very hard. I left court degraded, emasculated, feeling abused at what I had to go through just to prove I was good enough to be a father. This all stemmed from accusations my ex made. None of it was true but that's how the courts operate. Be aware of what your ex might do. As the resident parent, initially they hold all the cards but it changes once the courts see these parents for who they are. Yeah, they have to check you out, make you jump through hoops and it's really soul destroying what you have to do but please.. Start this process now. I promise you will not regret it.

 

I think today my ex finally appreciates what I did. I see my son 2-3 times a week. We have a wonderful relationship. There is no grey area for my ex to exploit. My son has consistent contact with his father and that's what kids need to make sense of their budding lives. My ex knows... start messing about and we go back to court. For someone who has narcacisstic traits and is governed by reacting to internal shame, this was the only thing that shamed my ex 'enough' into complying with my requests to have a proper relationship with our child. It made her look like a bad mother. In essence I used her shame against her.

 

Having already been through the system, it makes it easier to go back and seek more contact when your child is older. From then on it's just a review of the court order. Just call a solicitor and talk it through.

[Brotherhood67]

Three words : GET A LAWYER !

 

This behaviour is completely unacceptable. And risks damaging your son for life.

 

If she isn't mature enough to stop immediately this selfish, crushing and out of place behaviour, then a court action will teach her how respect, maturity and thinking about children above all else is about.

 

Go now !

[Lonewing]

Quit sitting around saying "if this continues I will ..." No, it's already happened. End it.