Annoying Roommate Issue - She has taken over the living room!

[BigKK]

So I know the first and obvious answer is "Get your own place," while the ideal situation...I am not there financially and actually really like where I live.

 

 

So one of my roommates (out of 3 total) just moved out, the other one was very close with him. Let's call her J, she has lived here the longest and is kind of the landlord middleman. Well the one that moved out, took his TV from her room...and she got sick and said. "I'm gonna be sleeping on the couch for a few days since I Need a tv to go to bed"

 

Me being pretty active and on the move, I shrugged and said that's fine...

 

 

Two weeks later, she hasn't budged from the couch... Last night my gf came over to watch game of thrones, and the newest roommate wanted to watch it with us... but couldn't since J is posted up in the living room, with the TV on sleeping.

 

 

To add insult to injury, the TV is mine...a very nice 50" Plasma that I would prefer not being on 24/7... I think it's been on for 72+ Hours..

 

 

I'm going to talk to her tonight with the other roommate... We get up early for work, and both have to walk around quietly in the kitchen since she's sleeping right there.

 

The new roommate donated to her an older CRT TV to give her a "hint", but then we agreed we have to just sit down and talk. She is unemployed and "looking" for a job, so I think the two of us are a little annoyed the 4 hours we have at home after work...we just go to our separate rooms and don't really hang out.

 

 

This is more of a vent, and I don't know how many people have roommates here...but has anyone dealt with this? I am trying to approach this very gently since it's a fun place to live (besides this crap) and everyone is very lax which I appreciate.

[Fudgie]

I used to have roommates in college. So glad I don't have to anymore.

 

Uhm, i would have a frank talk to her about it. If she wants to have a TV in her room, then she should get one. You need to tell her, the living room is an "everyone" room. She can't be monopolizing it.

 

If she won't budge after the talk and after you being frank, and this sounds passive aggressive but I would do it, I would remove the TV (because it's yours) and put it in your room and look the door.

[Doc Blaze]

I would be honest...

 

 

please go to your room..If your sick you shouldnt be around people anyways... Its a room for everyone not her bedroom.

 

 

If you also want to watch something i would make note of it early too..maybe she will get the hint to....tell her how its going to be its your tv..dont say can you?

 

 

 

 

Just say I am coming home at 6pm and me and my gf will be watching "enter tv show" tonight because we love this show......so she had no reason not to get up....

[SooSad33]

yeah, suggest she get her own TV in her room.

 

She has no right to take that area over.. she does have her own room.

[annie24]

yeah, i'd tell her nicely that she needs to get back in her room. my roommate told me that once when I started leaving my mess in the living room. I cleaned it up right away, lol. but yeah, it's not ok for her to take over a mutual space as her personal space.

[Iggles]

Ugh. I hate entitled people like this!

 

OP, she sounds awful. That said, there's been great advice on this thread. Hope you are able to resolve this matter quickly.

[Moontiger]

Ugh. So much wrong here. Not only is she taking up a whole common use room she is also sick and spreading her germs .

 

If she needs noise to fall asleep she can go by aTV or fan or something.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[blueidealist24]

Yeah, you're just going to have to tell her. If she won't listen, move your tv into your room. Since she's just been gifted a tv, I don't see the problem with her going back to her room.

[ParisPaulette]

There is no way around this, you have to sit her down and talk to her. And tell her that time is up and you both want your living room back to watch TV and hang out in the living room whenever you want. She has a room to go to, a TV in there, there is no excuse for her to still be there. I know it's a fun, relaxed house to be in right now. But trust me resentment and her causing a hardship on the other roommates due to her thoughtlessness will soon destroy that anyways whether or not you speak up.

 

Barring that you could both stop tiptoeing around her and when you want to watch TV you pull up chairs and do so whether she is asleep on the couch or not. If you both are up and walking around you stop being quiet and let her live with the consequences of trying to make the living room her unauthorized bedroom. She'll quickly get the hint and if anything is said you both stay calm, but again explain the deal was she was only on the couch temporarily and you both have a right to come home and relax and enjoy your kitchen and living room. In other words you stop catering to her and just go about your business as if she were not there if she will not move back to her room.

 

But I'd just talk first and then if she refuses to move off the couch the second suggestion is your Plan B. I have had roommates and yes, in one instance one of them had a boyfriend who took up residence on the living room couch, claiming he couldn't sleep with his girlfriend in her room, because she snored. He didn't move from there even though he wasn't paying any rent and was using the household's electric and Internet services and bathroom and he wasn't working either, so yep he was basically freeloading off the rest of us. Even after the rest of the house talked to him and her both about it nothing changed. So I and the other roommates went back to what we had been doing before the nonpaying member of our household took up residence--we began having actors classes again in our living room in the evenings and late into the night. It took three days of him stubbornly trying to sleep on the couch while everyone around him laughed and talked and read scripts. He knew he couldn't say anything and when his girlfriend tried to ask us all to leave our own living room we pointed out that he wasn't paying anything and beggars could not be choosy. After the third day he left and she moved out shortly after that.

 

We got our living room back, all was peaceful again. Added bonus, no more mooching.

[catfeeder]

It might be helpful to sweeten the pot before your talk. Why don't you guys set up the old TV in her room first? Then you can say, "We feel really bad that you're feeling lousy, so we've set up your TV for you so you can get some real rest in your room."

 

See how that goes over, and if she doesn't get the hint, you can go a step less mild.

 

I hope you'll let us know how it goes! (Fingers crossed for you.)

[BigKK]

So this turned out to be a anticlimatic and fairly good ending. I consulted the other roommate beforehand, and we sat down in the living room and waited for her to finish her phone call.

 

I told her we need to have a quick talk, and essentially we said our piece. Then she apologized, said she is sorry to make us uncomfortable, that she has gotten a new TV and set it up in her room and just had a bad two weeks. She kept apologizing and seemed genuine and then the mood kind of lightened.

 

I wanted to be mad and frustrated but I suppose time will tell, I told her myself, the roommate and friends wanted to watch a movie the previous night but didn't want to disturb her and she kept apologizing. So at this point I will just leave it. She even got us both ice cream (ben & jerry's) during the day, so it was as if she beat us to the punch.

 

I'll come back to this thread if the issue comes up again. I was ready for a fight and argument, so I had to go workout instead since I think I built up a bunch of cortisol expecting to argue

[Doc Blaze]

I know she is your roommate but how close are u guys?

 

2 weeks depressed and sick not doing much kinda looks like something happened to her? did you ask her what was wrong?

[Iggles]

This is a good resolution. I'm glad it worked out.

 

Bad two weeks or not, no excuse for selfishly taking over the common room. She should look to her friends for sympathy, not expect her roommates to accommodate her when there has been zero communication.

 

Edited to add:

Too many women use crying and emotional pleas to get away with bad behavior. If she had been a man, no doubt the OP and other roommate would have treated him differently. But since she was a girl, they let the situation slide longer than they were comfortable with, and she pretty much took advantage knowing they were in an awkward situation.