how did you deal when you found out the ex was engaged? I just did. :-X

[TalkThatTalk9]

I just found out my ex is engaged. I am not sure how to feel about it. Part of me sat shocked and sick when I heard it. then I started getting really angry, thinking "what is it about her and not me?" (we had been together 6 and half years, he always told me he never wanted to get married or tied down)

 

it also hurts because this is a woman he left me for, she left her husband for him. had a really nasty divorce and the ink is not even dry on the paper. my ex is living in the dudes house, driving his company van, running dudes old company, and this woman gets monthly payouts for her father's death that are huge lumps of money... ex is going to mexico and spending that. so of course he is going to propose, why would he risk losing all of that?

 

I do realize I am better off.... I was never supposed to be with a person like him who has such low morals and loyalty to friends and loved ones. but at the same time it does hurt. I spent close to 7 years dreaming up our future and wedding and plans together in my mind while he was just breezing along. and now this girl gets to have all that. but she also has to live with the fact she is buying his love. I dunno.

 

it's been two years since we broke up, so it is not devastasting me. it is just really bugging me. I didn't think it would happen this fast since she just finalized the divorce, but they have been together for 18 months so I guess that is normal. him making me wait 7 years is not.

 

HOW DID YOU REACT WHEN YOU FOUND OUT YOUR EX WAS ENGAGED? especially if it was to the person they cheated on you with???

 

thanks guys for listening... what a sucky morning.

[ParisPaulette]

I was always delighted to find out an ex had moved on from me. Maybe it's the being stalked by my first ex that makes me feel that way, but I'm always relieved whenever an ex finds someone else. It does hurt though if you had big future dreams about being engaged and/or getting married to an ex.

 

I don't think any of my exes got engaged to someone they had cheated on me with. I would probably be hurt by that if the breakup were still fairly fresh, but underneath I'd still be relieved. Besides if he treated you like that what are the chances she's not going to get the same treatment somewhere down the line, quite possibly after they're married and have kids and she can't escape as easily as you did. (Shudder)

[oitnb]

No wonder he proposed... She's throwing all this money at him, gave him a job and a house to live in! He's worried about losing all that cash and opportunity. He's using her, I wouldn't worry about it.

[itsallgrand]

I felt sick and angry. This was years ago. And it was because I wasn't yet over him. Yup, we were together around 7 years too. Didn't want to get married (though neither did I, and I meant it, so that wasn't a special kick in the stomach at all). Cheated, and he got engaged to the chick he cheated with. It never went through. She knew about me. And I guess she cheated on him too. Whatever. It's years past now and he is engaged again, to someone else. Who knows what else the story is.

 

At this point, it doesn't matter. I know 100% without doubt he isn't the man for me. The man for me: I really value fidelity. He isn't that man. I want someone I can trust. He never will be that person, again. Etc. Etc.

 

I'm sorry you are having a tough day!! It sucks, it hurts, that is totally understandable.

 

What else though...it can really help in the process of moving on. that kick in the butt...driving home (painfully) the fact is really is over....forever.

 

But that can be a liberating thing. give yourself your chance to feel hurt. and to process it.

 

Then get to what it is that is in the future for you. What you want. Sure, you need to let go of the old vision of what you thought what you want would look like (having him in it). But there are lots of new ways what you want may manifest if you put in the effort to focus on what is at the core.

 

With time, your heart will understand as well as your head how much it truly is best that you are not with him anymore.

[TalkThatTalk9]

thank you all for your words of encouragement.

 

If it was a year ago I would be sobbing in bed all day, but honestly, I Agree with you all. and my brother said it as well.... he has to find a way to keep all that good stuff coming at him... so he proposes.

 

in a way I feel a closure. I Always knew we would never get back together, and although I do sometimes miss some things about him, most the time I am thanking the lord I got away and I would never get back with him. I now know it is officially done for good forever. and it is a good feeling.

 

it is so weird how much your life can change in such little time.... I am about to be 30, and I started dating him when I turned 21. looking back it is weird to see how much I have changed... and not.... over the years.

 

stupid ex has me all philosophical now.

[Ms Darcy]

Yet another example of a guy who "isn't ready for marriage at all" with a girl he's in a 5+ year relationship with and yet marries another girl in less than three.

 

I think it's just a lesson to walk away from a guy who says that he's not ready for marriage because a) he's just not interested in marriage to you or b) you two are incompatible with your vaues.

 

Sorry you are feeling this way though. Happy it gives you a measure of closure.

[annie24]

speaking as an outsider, maybe it's kind of good in a way that he is marrying her, because they both obviously gave up a lot to be together (she divorcing her husband, he breaking up with you) so maybe their love is meant to be? i know you probably don't want to hear that. but in some ways, it's kind of better that he broke up with you to be with her, and not just to have a one night stand. I don't know if that makes sense or it makes you feel worse, but it's really not supposed to.

 

big hugs. i hope you find someone who is right for you!

[Clio]

I was hurt but then again, a)I would never have been interested in jumping the hoops she did to get there b) I know that he is still the same conceited whining lying toxic coward he has been all his life so good luck to her! Past behavior is indication of future behavior.