Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I'm gonna make a very long story short. I'm a seemingly normal man with a good job, lots of friends, in shape, well dressed and yet I'm nearly hopeless in relation to dating. There are zero women in my social group for me to pursue and I don't meet any in my job either. The only women who seem to pursue me are those who I have zero attraction for (there was a 38 year old Asian girl who was just going crazy for me a couple weeks ago. She would not stop complimenting me and calling me gorgeous and handsome). I very much appreciate the women who show interest towards me and I'm very nice to them but I can't date somebody I feel no attraction for I don't know what to do, I'm 25 years old now and I've never had a girlfriend. I don't know if I ever will as I just don't meet any in my day to day job and Cold Approaching is near impossibly hard. Online dating is about as bad as cold approaching as well - tried it once and received zero responses (it doesn't help that I look awful in pics compared to real life). All I want is a girlfriend - not interested in sleeping around...just want a nice, cute and preferably smart girl who will be crazy for me the way I will be for her Anyways, I'm thinking about going overseas to back home to Armenia to find my future wife in a few years. I was born in Armenia and still have almost all my family there. I would likely be very very attractive to women there just based on my income level here (and I think I have other quality traits too). I think I would have a good chance to make it work long term because of my background and because Armenian women almost exclusively marry Armenian guys anyways. I'm not worried about taken advantage off...I'm not a pushover in the slightest bit and I will make sure everything is handled properly Any thoughts on this? Link to comment
SilverFactory Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Are you ok with women finding you attractive based on money?? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Are there Armenian girls in your area you could meet? For example, through the church or some groups? I think jumping into a marriage with a virtual stranger is a very risky thing. Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 Are there Armenian girls in your area you could meet? For example, through the church or some groups? I think jumping into a marriage with a virtual stranger is a very risky thing. There's are no Armenian churches near me but I never thought about this. There is one about an hour away. The issue for me though is that I'm not religious at all...borderline atheist. Dunno if I want to be with someone who is religious Also this would be a situation where I would have my aunts and uncles try to find me the perfect girl...hopefully somebody they know so it's not a total stranger I should add here that I've been living in the states since I was 9 so I am very white washed in terms of culture. I look Spanish or Italian. Are you ok with women finding you attractive based on money?? No but I guess I could be okay with this if she liked me for other reasons as well I suppose beggars can't be choosers Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 If you like living in Armenia, go for it! I moved to my current location 5 years ago and have had 100x more dating success than when I lived in my hometown, plus I really enjoy my "new" city. Just keep your options open until then, and make the efforts to improve your confidence and social value as a partner in the meantime. Because though you seem to think it will be easy to catch a girl in Armenia, you'll still have competition from other guys... maybe even rich ones from your current country! So use the time in between to improve yourself and become a great catch REGARDLESS of your income level. Link to comment
mines Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Forgive me but I'm not sure where you live currently. U.S.? Just curious. It depends on the country, but have you looked into specifics for bringing a wife back into your current country? I immigrated (from the U.S.) using the marriage visa, to French Canada a few years ago (big mistake but that's another topic!) and it took a few years, quite a bit of money and extensive paperwork. However, helping a friend years later, I looked into immigrating into the United States, from other countries, both the U.K. and Greece for example, and it is NOT as "easy" as bringing someone into Canada....and that wasn't easy! For myself, I didn't fully adapt to the cultural changes living in Montreal, and that played a part in the failure of my marriage. Obviously you've assimilated very well well into another culture, but I think it does depend on the individual. I'm sure you've already looked into this, but have you explored the possibility of finding Armenian women that are already immigrated into your current place of residence? I'm in the Midwest, major city, and there are so many various cultures here - it's very easy to find a club or social group from just about every country in the world here if you look. I think your idea is sound, as long as you have checked into the logistics of immigration. You're very young still, definitely don't give up. You sound like a great guy, I know you'll find someone who deserves you "Edit" Please note, I was typing my long answer and didn't see that you live in the U.S., forgive me please! Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 If you like living in Armenia, go for it! I moved to my current location 5 years ago and have had 100x more dating success than when I lived in my hometown, plus I really enjoy my "new" city. I would not move there...I have no interest in that and I love where I currently live. Would just visit and hopefully meet my wife there Just keep your options open until then, and make the efforts to improve your confidence and social value as a partner in the meantime. Because though you seem to think it will be easy to catch a girl in Armenia, you'll still have competition from other guys... maybe even rich ones from your current country! So use the time in between to improve yourself and become a great catch REGARDLESS of your income level. I am already obsessive in my efforts to improve myself. I dunno what more I can do honestly Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 are there any meetup groups for Armenians? You could try that. I understand about the church thing, I'm not religious either. But it wouldn't hurt to go to maybe a service to see what the girls are like there. Maybe some of them go for cultural, not religious reasons (like my family used to go to church). Also, you might try looking for an Armenian Dating site? Don't know if they exist. Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 Good post. I don't really know the exact logistics of doing this but if I have to spend 10K to do it, I would do it I live in a suburb near Chicago I haven't looked at the prospects of Armenian women here as there are none near my place. I would have to go to the Armenian church that's an hour away but I'm just not into religion Truth be told, I would much rather meet an American girl or a white washed Armenian girl. I love American culture - I'm into football, bodybuilding, country music, etc... But it is what it is Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 are there any meetup groups for Armenians? You could try that. I understand about the church thing, I'm not religious either. But it wouldn't hurt to go to maybe a service to see what the girls are like there. Maybe some of them go for cultural, not religious reasons (like my family used to go to church). Also, you might try looking for an Armenian Dating site? Don't know if they exist. Not a bad idea. I don't know if they would be open to dating me though Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Chicago is a big city with many different cultures. I'd be surprised if there were no "Armenian Meetup group." Are you doing online dating at all (extending your search to all women?) Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I would not move there...I have no interest in that and I love where I currently live. Would just visit and hopefully meet my wife there That's all well & good, but keep in mind what Mines said above. The immigration process can be troublesome and expensive, and more importantly your future wife may not adjust to living in America as well as you. You'll need to find someone who WANTS to live in the USA, and more importantly has the self-confidence and drive to make the move succeed for BOTH of you, even if they have trouble adjusting to their new home. In other words, you'll need to find a strong, non-clingy, independent woman who ENJOYS change, not is afraid of it. Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 Are you doing online dating at all (extending your search to all women?) I tried that for a little while and got absolutely nowhere. I look terrible in pics compared to real life so that doesn't help me. In real life, I've gotten comparisons to Mario Lopez on a few occasions. In pics, I look like an idiot I don't have real thick skin so I dunno if I'm okay with getting rejected 5,000 times for one response Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 That's all well & good, but keep in mind what Mines said above. The immigration process can be troublesome and expensive, and more importantly your future wife may not adjust to living in America as well as you. You'll need to find someone who WANTS to live in the USA, and more importantly has the self-confidence and drive to make the move succeed for BOTH of you, even if they have trouble adjusting to their new home. In other words, you'll need to find a strong, non-clingy, independent woman who ENJOYS change, not is afraid of it. All valid concerns I will have to consider The one thing I will have in my favor is everybody in Armenia wants to live here. The standard of living here is soooo much better Link to comment
mines Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I'm also near Chicago! I truly believe in time you should be able to meet someone here. I understand why you don't want to explore the Armenian church, got it, makes perfect sense. I am sure you've tried the usual avenues, joining clubs/activities, blah blah blah. I don't like online dating (well honestly I've not explored it. Not interested.) and I'm really not interested in meeting anyone new right now; however, I found that when I joined a running club I started to meet so many new people. We all share the same passion, and I've noticed quite a few attractive and single guys. (just in case I"m interested in the future, haha) Seriously, I am surprised how it snowballs....first you join the Facebook page of the running club then start meeting more runners, then you meet more at races, and it grows and grows. And since you're into fitness, perhaps that is a way to meet more women that might share your interests. Another idea, since you're in the Chicago area and have a nice income, try It's Just Lunch. This is a dating service for professionals, you actually meet a consultant face to face, who matches you with someone, for lunch or a quick drink. It's not cheap, but you get what you pay for. If I were to try a dating service, this would be the one. It's worth a try! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Yeah, my friend is a member of the Hash House Harriers (a drinking club with a running problem) and she's met several men there, one of them a serious relationship. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 You'll need to find someone who WANTS to live in the USA, and more importantly has the self-confidence and drive to make the move succeed for BOTH of you, even if they have trouble adjusting to their new home. In other words, you'll need to find a strong, non-clingy, independent woman who ENJOYS change, not is afraid of it. And accept that if she is in a tough economic situation, she may drop you like a ton of bricks once she's here, a citizen, and is financially stable. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 You should do online dating and specifically look for Armenian girls. Then that'll be something you'll have in common to talk about right off the bat. It sounds bad, but I know some white girls still only want to date white men, even though there are quite a lot of interracial couples out there too. Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 You should do online dating and specifically look for Armenian girls. Then that'll be something you'll have in common to talk about right off the bat. It sounds bad, but I know some white girls still only want to date white men, even though there are quite a lot of interracial couples out there too. I look Spanish or Italian though, which is basically white. As far as culture goes, I'm very "American". Overwhelming majority of my friends are white I'm open to women of all races as long as they're cute and similar in culture to me Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 I'm not really into running, unless I'm playing sports... I'm a good all around athlete but Im much more into lifting weights and bodybuilding. I absolutely love women who are into lifting weights and serious working out but those ladies tend to be VERY attractive and very high in demand As far as that service you're talking about, that's something I would consider maybe when I'm closer to 30s. I don't know many women around my age who can afford that. I should say that I'm not in a hurry to get married. I am very lonely and would like to have some dating life but I won't be in a rush to get married at least for a little while (not that I wouldn't be open to it now) Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I would classify Armenian as "white" though others may disagree... hm. Anyway, have you tried link removed or eharmony? Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 I would classify Armenian as "white" though others may disagree... hm. Anyway, have you tried link removed or eharmony? No, I can't remember which site I tried but it was horrendous Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 And accept that if she is in a tough economic situation, she may drop you like a ton of bricks once she's here, a citizen, and is financially stable. I dunno that seems unlikely. Armenian women generally only marry Armenian men and divorce is frowned upon in our home culture Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 Yeah, my friend is a member of the Hash House Harriers (a drinking club with a running problem) and she's met several men there, one of them a serious relationship. I was thinking about looking at link removed groups One of my big issues to be honest with you is my pessimism. I have so little faith that I will ever meet somebody that it kills anything I really attempt. I'm a very positive guy in all other areas of my life, but I'm ferociously negative in regards to dating Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I was thinking about looking at link removed groups One of my big issues to be honest with you is my pessimism. I have so little faith that I will ever meet somebody that it kills anything I really attempt. I'm a very positive guy in all other areas of my life, but I'm ferociously negative in regards to dating\ I hear you!! I make friends very easily, but have a hard time keeping boyfriends. blah. I once read a statistic that 95% of people who want to get married eventually do get married, so that is a positive thing. Hopefully we are not the 1 in 20!! Link to comment
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