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Everything posted by SilverFactory

  1. Funny you use that term Cherylyn. I have had a woman say the exact same thing to me. She said "I find you to be very emotionally intelligent" and she ghosted me starting from the next day I liked all of the responses here. The situation that I am dealing is mainly through Online Dating. In this specific case it was an Indian Matrimonial app and not a Dating app. A matrimonial app is similar to a dating app but it is lot more serious and mainly geared towards marriage. Once people connect and if things go well they meet a few times in person and then it is marriage.. unlike months and months of dating, getting engaged, staying engaged, and then finally getting married This is one of the reasons why this incident hurts me a lot. I don't understand why she met me 2 times and then decided to reject. In a typical dating scenario this would be like rejecting after 8th or 9th date
  2. Thanks wiseman I am just struggling to cope with the endless rejections at age 46 😢
  3. Thanks So when is the guy supposed to know she likes him? what if he takes her out on 10 dates and then she does not feel the spark in the 11th date?
  4. I have read that women have very good gut instincts/feelings and would quickly know if they like a guy or not So I thought by the end of the first date (or first meet since the guy is a stranger she met through dating app) she will have a very good idea. If she agrees to a second date (dinner) isn't that a good sign? Why would she choose to reject a guy after the second date if the date went well?
  5. No, I am not seeking reassurance that she is in fact interested. I am saying that I am surprised because a woman that I only met for 2 dates would ask for help even after she realizes that she is not interested in me romantically
  6. really? I find this very surprising to be honest
  7. hmm.. Ok I am asking because I am finding myself in this situation (just changed the company and product name) After the second date she texted me the next day and asked for advice about her lost photos. Me, being an idiot as usual, gave her lot of help and advice. I also spoke to my colleagues and got their help as well Then when I asked her for the third date she said she already had plans for the weekend. So the next week I asked her again and she said she does not see me as more than a friend 😔
  8. Hi Batya! Thanks for your response So, the woman has not yet informed the guy that she only likes him as a friend after the second date. Would she still ask the guy ask for help about her lost photos since he works in Android, Google so he could help? What would women generally do after the second date when they realize they don't see the guy as more than a friend?
  9. Title says ladies but of course men can also offer their perspective 😀 Ladies, let's say you meet a man in a dating app. He works in Google, in Android. The chat and phone calls go well and you meet for the first date for coffee. After the first date he asks you out for dinner for the second date and you agree to meet him After the second date you realize that you can only see him as a friend and nothing more but have not yet informed him about that The next day you purchase a new Google Pixel phone and while doing data transfer you end up losing all your photos. Would you text him and ask for help or since you are not interested in dating him anymore you would choose not to contact him?
  10. That's exactly my guess as well. She had mentioned that she was in a relationship with a Hindi speaking guy for a very long time but they broke up. Then she got married to another Hindi speaking guy and that ended in a divorce. I am not a Hindi speaking guy so may be she is just not able to relate to me I was very suspicious about the migraine as well. We had been speaking over the phone for around 2 months before meeting and not once she mentioned that she gets migraines... and she conveniently gets one on the day we were supposed to go to NYC together
  11. and that was after she made a hurtful remark when I told her I could not understand even a word of her language (Hindi). that's why I was wondering if the whole thing fell apart because of the language differences
  12. I wish I could catfeeder. Unfortunately at my age and the location I am based at its too difficult to meet single women. Why would I talk to a woman on the other side of the coast if I am able to meet someone locally? I am just not able to, so whatever match I am getting I am just accepting and giving it a fair shot I feel very bad not so much for the time and money that I invested in this woman but rather it is yet another rejection dished out when I don't believe I did anything wrong. We didn't have a single misunderstanding or fight or any boring moments during those 4 days. It went really well or at least I thought so. To do all that I could possibly do and then be told "I don't feel the connection" just hurts. It just plain hurts. I am 46 years old, I don't have much time
  13. We both are Indians and she is more on the conservative side. So I doubt if it has anything to do with me trying to kiss her. The first evening went well and the second day is when the whole Hindi language thing happened. She made a remark that actually hurt me badly and I got very angry with her but didn't show it on my face. In around 15 minutes it looked like she was also very angry because there was a car in front that was kinda slowing down and the driver seemed lost. This woman just smashed the horn! She could have gently honked but smashed the horn and honked so loudly. In general people will be on the best behavior during a date and I was surprised to see her behave like that The next day she gets a migraine and talks herself out of the trip to NYC. That evening when we met for coffee we were talking and walking around and I gently put my arms around her shoulder and in like 10 seconds she said "my hair.. my hair" and I removed my hand. So forget about kissing or making a move.. she didn't even allow me to put my arms around her shoulder
  14. I am a 46 year old man that has been never married and single for a very long time. I am originally from India and have been living in the US for 20 years now Apart from dating apps I am also looking for women in Indian Matrimonial apps. A matrimonial app is similar to dating apps but more serious and geared towards marriage I matched with a woman living in New Jersey (I live in California). We both started talking through the app and then she gave me her phone number. In the very first phone call we found that there were some differences between us. She is from North India and speaks Hindi and is a vegetarian while I am from South India and do not speak Hindi and am a non-vegetarian. Also, she has been married once before and I have never been married. She mentioned "these differences will not matter if we both connect very well. A strong connection is required for a relationship to work and if that connection is there we should be fine". So we agreed to continue talking and then the plan was for me to go visit her in person in couple of months We started texting and talking on the phone and it went very well. We spoke in English since I can't speak Hindi. I also mentioned to her that whenever I watch Hindi movies I have to use English subtitles. We got along very well and after 2 months I booked my tickets to New Jersey to meet her in person. The plan was for me to stay there for 4 days and one of those days we were planning to go to NYC together I traveled to New Jersey and met her. It was super exciting and I felt very happy. She looked lot better than her photos. I took her for coffee and dinner and it went very well. The next day we had lunch and then headed to a shopping mall in her car. While driving she changed the radio station and some Hindi songs were playing. She asked me if I understood the song and I said "no". Then she asked if I understood even a word of Hindi and again I said "no". Then she said a sentence in Hindi and asked if I understood anything in that sentence and I said I understood exactly 1 word. Then she just kept quiet. The rest of the day went decently.. we had dinner in the evening The next day I was all excited because according to the plan we were supposed to go to NYC together. She sent me a text and said she has migraine and unfortunately she cannot join me to NYC. I was bummed but what else could I do? So I asked her to take rest and went to NYC by myself. While returning back to New Jersey in the evening I asked her if she felt better we could meet for dinner. She said she felt better but only wanted to do coffee and no dinner. So we met for coffee and then just had relaxing conversations which went very well. The next day we again met and that went well too. Then I took the flight and returned back to California We continued to text for a week and spoke on the phone once. Then she sent me a text and said "while I am able to converse with you I am not able to feel the connection required for a relationship. sorry". I feel so bad and don't understand what exactly she means by "connection". If it was the language difference that was something we discussed in the very first phone call. So I feel very confused I am not a miser but I do feel upset that the money I spent for travel and hotel has also gone as a waste now along with the time, energy, and effort I invested in her Any insights on what happened here? and what I can do next?
  15. Thanks everyone for your valuable advice So looks like the general consensus is around the 3rd or 4th date. I think I am going to pick the 4th date because I am meeting these women through dating apps and the first date is really not a date but rather a first meet
  16. Oh that's very encouraging. Thanks Sherry I just don't know how they will take it, especially one of them being a doctor that treats diabetes I am obviously not planning on hiding it but just didn't know when to reveal something so personal like this either. I don't have much dating experience
  17. Yes, exactly that is my concern I have been single forever and not married even once. So after all these years if I tell my dates that I have diabetes I am afraid they will stop seeing me. Women on dating apps have PLENTY of options and I am worried they will just drop me and pick someone else
  18. Thanks SherrySher I was thinking if we are not mutually exclusive yet and just dating is it safe to tell regardless of the number of dates..
  19. I am a 46 year old man that has been never married and single for a very long time I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes couple of years ago and been put on Metformin. Fortunately I do not have to inject insulin. Also, I am very mindful of my diet and get some physical activity daily I have recently started getting some responses in dating apps and been talking to a couple of women. I met one woman 3 times in person and have been talking to another woman a few times over the phone. I am wondering when exactly should I mention about my diabetes. I obviously do not plan to hide it but just do not know when is a good time to tell it either. I am also very worried that it will drive them away.. 😕 One of the other woman that I just started talking to is actually a doctor, which means she must be very well aware of diabetes Can you guys provide some advice?
  20. Thanks. That's what I am suspecting as well
  21. UPDATE: After 7 months of this incident she sent me a text today morning asking me how I was doing. I am not sure why she is suddenly texting me.. I haven't responded yet as I feel a bit confused. What are your thoughts on this? Below is the OP:
  22. Even if she had given an alternative date it still does not mean much. I just had a similar thing happen to me. In my case she cancelled the 1st date and offered to meet next weekend but that never happened. She had met some one else. Usually the 1st date getting cancelled is not a good sign. May I ask how old you and she are?
  23. Thanks fio Yes, I am planning to take a break from the dating apps and do some introspection.
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