melissap1991 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Hey guys, my name's Melissa. I'm a 21 year old college student and I work part time. Within the last year or so I've found myself in a pretty bad sitauation. This is my first time ever writing in a forum or anything, but I'm not really sure what to do. My boyfriend and I got into a car accident a little while back where someone rear-ended me when I was stopping for an ambulance. Long story short, in order for us to cope from the pain of our injuries, we started self-medicating. We both have been shooting up heroin & dilaudeds daily. At 1st I never really considered myself an 'addict', but as time grew on things begain to get worst. I couldn't go a day without shooting up. I've spent stupid money on these drugs and last week I finally said enough is enough and decided after a year of being addicted to these terrible drugs and quit cold turkey. After about the 1st day, my withdrawals got so bad that I ended up in the hospital. I couldn't stop puking, I was have bad cold and hot sweats, my entire body was aching the worst pain I'd ever felt, my head was pounding and I felt like I was litterally going to fall over dead because I was refusing to feed my body anymore of the drugs. My doctor's in the hospital put me on this medication called Suboxen. It helps with the withdrawal pain and my cravings for herion & opiates, but I find myself feeling depressed a lot. I was in the hospital for three nights before I was release. Yesterday was my one week mark of being sober, but it's getting really hard. I'm basically writing this because I had wondered if there was anyone else that could relate to what I'm going through and give me tips on how to stay sober. I take the suboxen twice a day under my tongue, but it's pretty expensive. On Monday I start counceling and I'm going find out if my insurance company will help pay for the Subs. Anyways, if anyone else can relate to me, feel free to write whatever you want in response to this. This is my first forum ever so we'll see how this goes. As of right now I'm just really tired and my whole body is sore.. I really want to stay sober, it's just super hard. So again, if anyone has any tips or question, feel free. Thank youuu. -Melissa P Link to comment
becomingkate Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I just wanted to say good for you! I have to run out the door, but I think you're doing the right thing. Please come back here for support in the days to come! *hugs* Link to comment
Not a rookie Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Make sure you have people around you most of the time. Join addiction self help groups. Do sports. The bad feelings will linger for the next couple of weeks and then things will get better. Your brain is trying to balance. Try to get in touch with the Amen Clinic, they also help people like you. link removed Many former addicts turn to sports to fill in that void. Here is an example: link removed You are a brave woman, not everyone is as courageous as you are. Hang in there. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 My brother was like you - got clean, but then relapsed shooting up the yellow dialudids and died. Relapsing after being clean is particularly dangerous because you think you can tolerate the same dosages you were using before you got clean, which isn't the case - those previous dosages are often fatal if you've been clean a while. I would get into rehab and get yourself a therapist to get to the root of why you started shooting heroin in the first place - it's not a healthy person's reaction to a car accident or any other situation and can easily kill you. You should also probably break up with your boyfriend and go no contact - he's a bad influence and will get in the way of your sobriety. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Please read Amy, My Daughter: Mitch Winehouse since she was dealing with heroin addiction and how she finally beat it. Hoped you Sued the person that hit you. Have lawyer set you up with physical therapy and have response party pay for it. Use that money you get from lawsuit to make better for yourself. Good luck. Link to comment
melissap1991 Posted February 14, 2013 Author Share Posted February 14, 2013 Thank you guys. Also if anyone knows anything about the medication suboxen and knows how to get it cheaper or where I can get coupons for it, lemmeee know. Would be a great help, cuz I'm still waiting on my insurance to help me cover it and it's getting quite expensive. Link to comment
melissap1991 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 So I'm officially two weeks and one day sober of heroin and opiates. My doctor put me on this medication called suboxen film strips and I'm going to counceling once a week. My first day of counceling starts Monday, but I'm having cravings and it really sucks Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas on how to help ignore or get rid of them? The suboxone helps a little, but I figured I'd see if anyone else can relate to me or help me get through this.. Thank youu - Melissa P Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 You're going to have cravings for the rest of your life. Best way to deal with it is to realize if you give in to them, you can die. Link to comment
avman Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Congratulations! You have a tough road ahead and cravings are to be expected. You'll always have a certain amount of that because heroin is so physically addictive. This is where all the counseling techniques come in to help you find ways to work through the cravings and direct yourself to healthier alternatives. If the cravings are really bugging you I'd recommend you give your doctor a call and ask for a recommendation. I hesitate to give you any options here because I do not know your medical history or personal circumstance. Your doctor would be in the best position to help you until counseling starts and maybe can even get you into some inpatient treatment if that's what it takes. Lastly be proud of yourself. You are taking the first steps towards a great sober life. Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Wow, congratulations on deciding to better yourself and lead a sober life! Avman is right, you should be proud of yourself for sure. I agree too that you should call your doctor or someone from the treatment facility and ask them for advice. You aren't alone in this fight; there are many people who will help you through this. Link to comment
disneyfan Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Congrats on making the decision to change yourself for the better! Personally, I don't know anything about addiction, but I can tell you what I use to do to fight off depression. Find a hobby. Draw, write, paint, exercise, cook, sew, carve, something! It will keep your mind and hands busy. Might be helpful. Link to comment
LikeWater Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Hi Melissa, As great as this particular website is, it's not the best place to seek help for your particular problem. Most of the people here cannot relate to what you're feeling. You will find much better help and support, and far more people who can relate to what you're feeling here: link removed That website has forums filled with people who are fighting or who have already defeated their addictions. It has blogs from people who have been in your shoes. It has everything you're looking for to fight this battle. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I haven't got anything helpful to say ...except a massive massive congratulations to you ...fight this craving darling because your brand new life is just starting ...love and best wishes xxxx Link to comment
skygreen1111 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Hi MelissaP. It has been about ten years off of that stuff for me. There is no magical cure for the cravings. But there is one thing i used to do. I would run. Whenever the craving would hit, I just went outside and ran and ran and ran until I was too exhausted to crave it anymore. I don't know if my body would just tire itself out, or if it was giving my brain a shot of endogenous endorphins. I ended up running a lot for a while. Just running until all the thoughts and feelings and cravings were masked by exhaustion. Running out the frustration and depression and desires. Maybe it will work for you? Link to comment
jordesse Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Hi Melissa, I do have some experience usine Suboxone. Usually, if your experiencing strong cravings it means you are on too low a dose of suboxone. Suboxone is, in effect, a substitute for opiates and works in exactly the same way. The only difference is, you can't get high. It binds to the same receptors in the brain that opiates effect therefore stopping any withdrawals you would have. It is the equivalent of Methadone. So the downfall is, you will need to be slowly weaned off the Subs if you want to be totally drug free. But some people are happy to live their whole lives taking Sub to avoid the awful lifestyle of being a drug abuser. Subs will also allow you time to get your life in order and away from drug use. Talk to your doctor. Sometimes adjusting your dose can work wonders. You may find you are better off with say one 8mg strip in the morning each day rather then splitting it up over three doses. If you are experiencing strong cravings, you may need to up your dose to 12mg. Link to comment
melissap1991 Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Thanks guys, Likewater- I will deff try out that website Jordesse- I was just put on the 8mg dose and it seems to be working pretty good so thank you & to everyone else that commented, I really appreciate the support and ideas. Thank you all Link to comment
melissap1991 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 After being addicted to heroine and pain killer dilaudeds and other strong opiates, today is offically my 24th day sober. I'm in a really good mood and wanted to share. -Melissa Phillips Link to comment
surfjon Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Thats AWESOME!!! You can keep it up!! I've never battled those monsters, but my drummer did..... He too is lucky to be alive! Clean 7 years now, and rockin hard! I've had my run with addictions of various types, and when one rids ones self of that hideous bond we flower! Peace to you, focus within, meditate on what you escaped and live on girlie!!! Link to comment
surfjon Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Plus you're WAAAYYYY too young to delve into this abyss..... My daughter is 21, and was baker acted twice at 15 for OD's....... She's so clean now and in school, I'm soooo proud of her, and we came so close to losing her.... If your parents are alive and knew what you were going thru, I'm sure they are so proud of you!! Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 That's great! My brother had a drug problem for a long time and has now been clean for years. Are you in any kind of program? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 That is awesome !! Keep going! Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Good for you!! Keep at it! Link to comment
metrogirl Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 A big congratulations to you. Link to comment
Citlali Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Congratulations. Keep up the good work and remember this feeling of freedom and energy and happiness as you walk down this road. You can do it. Link to comment
MissMetamatics Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 After being addicted to heroine and pain killer dilaudeds and other strong opiates, today is offically my 24th day sober. I'm in a really good mood and wanted to share. -Melissa Phillips That's a HUGE achievement! It will just get easier my dear! Half the battle is getting through the withdrawals! Link to comment
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