I did something very bold. Very unlike me.

[jul-els]

I told you, find a local parlor that caters to things like this and those ladies will be happy to give you a squeeze.

 

Don't go to reputable places and expect sex, that's all.

 

Well, there's massage parlors and there's prostitutes. Some massage parlors provide the happy ending and some don't. None of them advertise it though, they can't. It seems to me it's hit and miss is the only way to find out. The place I went to wasn't a high end upscale place. It's a little independent shop in a strip mall. The ones that provide extra services I'm sure have to be certain they aren't going to get stung. They have to be sure a client can be trusted before they provide extra service.

 

I guess if I'm really serious about doing this I just have to go to a straight up prostitute, which I'm not really into the idea, or try and find a massage place that provides extras. Or just forget the whole idea. I guess if I'm not willing to go to a prostitute I should just forget it. This was my first attempt, but I certainly don't want to hurt anybody. This thread has pointed out to me it might not one of my better ideas and one I should perhaps best forget.

[Contrigo]

Sorry to say, I'm with the girls on this on. A couple points jump out at me besides the already-stated.. It seems like you reasoned the decision to actually go through with this is that you've had a fantasy about the "happy ending" scenario, almost as though you were entitled to have it happen because it's a fantasy of yours. Dude, men are visual, sexual creatures with fleeting thoughts and fantasies all the time. Self control and discretion is a must for men or chaos would ensue. I bet in almost every case that you've heard of the "happy ending", both parties were unmistakably willing, leaving nothing to interpretation. Your case is so full of ambiguity that your judgement should have dissuaded you from initiating the gesture rather than caving in to your needs. And finally, you have no idea if this person has a husband or significant other.

[Fudgie]

Given that you seem like you aren't good at picking our the parlors, I do suggest a prostitute. Maybe a high end one, not one off the streets. Someone who will provide a massage.

 

I don't understand why you're so skeeved out by bookers when you've just tried to get a stranger female to touch your junk. It's the same thing really. The parlors who specialize in dealing with men like you have touched and seen countless penises.

[jul-els]

This thread made me extremely uncomfortable.

 

It isn't the place that does 'happy endings' she clearly said 'no' 'no trouble' she was uncomfortable and felt pressured. She doesn't speak english well and due to cultural differences didn't want to disappoint you so you got her fired or something.

 

Honestly. I'd be taking a long hard look at myself. Think of her. How do you know she doesn't have a husband or a boyfriend somewhere?

 

You know she did also say when she told me the massage was over, I thanked her, and she said, "You're so nice. Next time. I want to help you." I know, cultural differences, I get it you've beaten that point into the ground and are really beating a dead horse now. Speaking of cultural norms and taking long hard looks at ourselves, how much of the negative reactions in this thread are based on the idea of prostitutes and people who go to them as being wrong, bad or shameful? I could always do well to take a good long hard look at myself, and I do, on a regular basis. I think that applies to everyone in one way or another.

[Capricorn3]

Sorry to say, I'm with the girls on this on. A couple points jump out at me besides the already-stated.. It seems like you reasoned the decision to actually go through with this is that you've had a fantasy about the "happy ending" scenario, almost as though you were entitled to have it happen because it's a fantasy of yours. Dude, men are visual, sexual creatures with fleeting thoughts and fantasies all the time. Self control and discretion is a must for men or chaos would ensue. I bet in almost every case that you've heard of the "happy ending", both parties were unmistakably willing, leaving nothing to interpretation. Your case is so full of ambiguity that your judgement should have dissuaded you from initiating the gesture rather than caving in to your needs. And finally, you have no idea if this person has a husband or significant other.

Great to hear from another male who can see it for what it really IS and not make excuses or just blow it off as "we are only human" and therefore it's all okay and our right to take what we want and no big deal.

[jul-els]

Given that you seem like you aren't good at picking our the parlors, I do suggest a prostitute. Maybe a high end one, not one off the streets. Someone who will provide a massage.

 

I don't understand why you're so skeeved out by bookers when you've just tried to get a stranger female to touch your junk. It's the same thing really. The parlors who specialize in dealing with men like you have touched and seen countless penises.

 

It's just that I don't want to risk catching anything. Massage parlors seem safer to me. Which they may or may not be, I guess.

[jul-els]

Great to hear from another male who can see it for what it really IS and not make excuses or just blow it off as "we are only human" and therefore it's all okay and our right to take what we want and no big deal.

 

Wait a minute, I did say I'm only human, which I am, but I never said that made it okay and my right to take what I want and no big deal. I don't think that or feel that way and don't agree with that type of thinking at all.

[SapphireNoir10]

I think the reason you as so defensive is that you know what you did was wrong ,and a bit creepy.

[SapphireNoir10]

I don't care what people do. I have no judgements. As long as what they do doesn't hurt someone else.

 

And I think what you did was not kind. She said no trouble. You basically pressured her into doing something she didn't want too. Maybe she was scared she didn't do enough and thats why she offered more next time. Maybe she was scared to get fired...

 

It just sounds like she wasn't at all comfortable.

 

I often take a good look at myself. And most of the time I'm comfortable with what i see. But if i made a man do something to me sexually he wasn't sure of...I'd feel a bit weird.

[Capricorn3]

Wait a minute, I did say I'm only human, which I am, but I never said that made it okay and my right to take what I want and no big deal. I don't think that or feel that way and don't agree with that type of thinking at all.

Sorry, maybe that came out all wrong, but it just seems like you cannot accept that what you did was wrong or take responsibility for your actions as you keep defending and have never conceded even once that you may have done the wrong thing. You keep making out like she was okay with everything you did and the more people here tell you she was not, you still can't admit you crossed the line. It is this which most of us find very disturbing.

[SapphireNoir10]

My final point is. Should you feel guilty and hate yourself? No! No one is saying that.

 

Just saying maybe consider it was a bit out of order and inappropriate.

[tiredofvampires]

If she regularly provided those services, she wouldn't have asked you if it was okay if she just touched areas peripheral to your genitals. She would have gone to work on the happy spot.

 

Just wanted to say, I've gone to plenty of massage clinics, and there is absolutely no ambiguity about the boundaries. You go in, fill out a form, listen to gentle meditative New Age music, they ask you about any special medical issues you have, communicate very clearly, exit and enter the room right on time with no extra time beyond the given slot. The place I go, there's classy furniture and a contemplative atmosphere, not one that might be confused with an "exotic" entertainment place, and no one there would ever be possibly worried about police working undercover. So like I said, some places do do that, but it's not at all ambiguous if you find a reputable massage place, and the bottom line is, anyone who doesn't want to do what you are suggesting should really just be taken at their word. General rule of thumb.

[Fudgie]

It's just that I don't want to risk catching anything. Massage parlors seem safer to me. Which they may or may not be, I guess.

 

This seems very naive to me.

Let's break it down.

 

Massage therapists who give happy endings - women touch male stranger's penises for money.

Prostitutes - women touch male stranger's penises for money.

 

It's the same thing. Most use precautions, yes, because they are at risk too. But yes, it's a risk. Whenever you have sex with someone you don't know, it's a risk.

 

If you don't want that risk, then go into a LTR.

 

But otherwise, there is no truly safe option.

[jul-els]

Sorry to say, I'm with the girls on this on. A couple points jump out at me besides the already-stated.. It seems like you reasoned the decision to actually go through with this is that you've had a fantasy about the "happy ending" scenario, almost as though you were entitled to have it happen because it's a fantasy of yours. Dude, men are visual, sexual creatures with fleeting thoughts and fantasies all the time. Self control and discretion is a must for men or chaos would ensue. I bet in almost every case that you've heard of the "happy ending", both parties were unmistakably willing, leaving nothing to interpretation. Your case is so full of ambiguity that your judgement should have dissuaded you from initiating the gesture rather than caving in to your needs. And finally, you have no idea if this person has a husband or significant other.

 

You're wrong about that. It's not because it's a fantasy. I may have said that earlier, which I'm sure someone will go back and point out, so sue me I used the wrong words. The reason I'm looking for the happy ending is because I'm lonely and want some affection, plain and simple. Nothing more to it than that. As far as the facts of life speech goes, I've been on this planet awhile, so thanks, I appreciate your effort, but not needed. You may very well be right about me recognizing the ambiguity of the situation. Ordinarily I would have. I just wanted to find some place that could provide me with this service and it seems to me there was only one way to do it. Not one of my finer moments, I suppose.

[jul-els]

This seems very naive to me.

Let's break it down.

 

Massage therapists who give happy endings - women touch male stranger's penises for money.

Prostitutes - women touch male stranger's penises for money.

 

It's the same thing. Most use precautions, yes, because they are at risk too. But yes, it's a risk. Whenever you have sex with someone you don't know, it's a risk.

 

If you don't want that risk, then go into a LTR.

 

But otherwise, there is no truly safe option.

 

Well even an LTR, isn't a guarantee, lol. It's just that I define it as massage parlors as only giving happy endings and not full sex, as opposed to a prostitute, who does.

[jul-els]

Sorry, maybe that came out all wrong, but it just seems like you cannot accept that what you did was wrong or take responsibility for your actions as you keep defending and have never conceded even once that you may have done the wrong thing. You keep making out like she was okay with everything you did and the more people here tell you she was not, you still can't admit you crossed the line. It is this which most of us find very disturbing.

 

I have admitted it. I made a mistake. I'll live and learn from it. There is still the possibility that she was just making sure I could be trusted. Which no one here is willing to admit. Which I understand, I know it's fun to jump on the bandwagon and drive the point home and I appreciate it, I do. I understand your points and find them to be quite helpful.

[jul-els]

Yeah, but how do you know the protocol if you've only been to reputable places? I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but it is a valid point.

[SapphireNoir10]

It's not jumping on the bandwagon. It genuinley did upset me reading your initial post and thinking how uncomfortable it must have been for her.

 

Like others have said. Find a happy ending massage parlour and the fantasy can be fulfilled without any problems.

[Fudgie]

Well even an LTR, isn't a guarantee, lol. It's just that I define it as massage parlors as only giving happy endings and not full sex, as opposed to a prostitute, who does.

 

You don't know exactly what those "therapists" are doing with their other clients. Plus you're just get a handsy. The risk is about the same with both. If she's just touching your penis, the risk of YOU getting something from her is rather low.

 

And you're right, LTR isn't 100%, but it's safer than any other option. And it's the only one you can ditch condoms in once you both feel ready.

[tiredofvampires]

Yeah, but how do you know the protocol if you've only been to reputable places? I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but it is a valid point.

 

Right, it probably is not exactly right for me to compare my situation to yours, because I've never looked for a place that I know will provide sexual favors. So we would be looking for different things.

 

But it doesn't matter, because if I went to a place where I wasn't sure, I would ASSUME that when I present my genitals to a massage therapist and they giggle like a schoolgirl, then tell me they would rather I touch my own junk, that is a red light flashing in my face to back off. Not keep pushing and pushing. I err on the side of not assuming and take ambiguous cues as warnings. So I could walk into any massage parlor and know the protocol/formula -- aka, MY protocol is if this is a joint that provides handjobs, no one is going to bat an eyelash when I flash them, and if they do, I'm putting that towel right back over myself and apologizing.

 

In fact, a good way to suss it out would be to ask before you take the towel off. At the point you're in the room in private, they'll either oblige or say no, but if you ask first, you'll get your answer. Direct.

 

If you go to a prostitute, you don't need to have sex and risk STDs. It's nearly impossible to get an STD from a handjob. You can hire a prostitute to massage you and give you a happy ending, making sure she washes her hands thoroughly before the whole event. Perfectly safe.

 

My guess though is that this is not going to fulfill your need. I am guessing that part of the rush of this was disrobing and feeling like something a bit naughty was happening in a seemingly innocent situation. And that will all be lost with a prostitute.

 

But if that's not the case and you just want someone to give you a handjob, you can get that with a prostitute and it'd be safe, up front, and probably the best job of her night.

 

Edit: Oh, and I'm very liberal about my views on prostitution. I wish we had it regulated like in some European countries, so that's where I stand with that.

[I_Speak_Jive]

Imagine, say, a daughter or a sister or a female childhood friend who, pushed by the brutal recession, goes abroad to a strange country to try to make some money. Most likely saving whatever cash she can get, so that she can send some back home to her family because things aren't so good over there.

 

Imagine she barely speaks the local language, but she's got professional skills of some sort -- as a nurse, say, or a massage therapist. She works really hard, smiles a lot and keeps her head down, since her visa situation is precarious and losing her job will mean almost certain deportation.

 

Imagine one of her customers, your average local man, exposes himself to her. Imagine how uncomfortable she is. She smiles and tries to laugh it off hoping that it'll go away, but the man insists on guiding her hands towards his erect penis. She barely understands what he is saying, but she understands she's got a hell of a lot to lose by refusing and nothing at all to gain.

 

A daughter, a friend, a relative.

 

What you did was very gross and very sad. Your defiant attitude on this thread shows that you either haven't thought at all about the personal, emotional, economic, social, cultural and political repercussions of what you did to this girl (all of which are very negative), or worse -- that you don't actually care.

 

It seems that you are clinging on to this notion that she somehow enjoyed being coaxed into masturbating some stranger. Women (and men) by and large do not work like this. Let's infuse a bit of reality onto the situation -- what are the odds that she'd voluntarily spend a few minutes manipulating your genitals for her own enjoyment and pleasure in a completely level playing field?

 

Like I said, it's just sad. Sad, sad, sad.

[EssexMan]

It's just that I don't want to risk catching anything. Massage parlors seem safer to me. Which they may or may not be, I guess.

 

You really are unlikely to catch anything from getting a handjob, whoever it's from, so why not go to someone who unambiguously provides that service.

[annie24]

Not that I've ever been, obviously, but from what I understand about rub-n-tugs is that you don't have to ask them to give you a happy ending. They just do it. You certainly don't have to ask them multiple times. And she said, "no trouble" as in "no, I will get in trouble." I hope no one finds out and she gets to keep her job!

[jul-els]

You don't know exactly what those "therapists" are doing with their other clients. Plus you're just get a handsy. The risk is about the same with both. If she's just touching your penis, the risk of YOU getting something from her is rather low.

 

And you're right, LTR isn't 100%, but it's safer than any other option. And it's the only one you can ditch condoms in once you both feel ready.

 

True, I understand the distinction. It's just my own personal perception on the subject when I consider the possibility.

 

Right, it probably is not exactly right for me to compare my situation to yours, because I've never looked for a place that I know will provide sexual favors. So we would be looking for different things.

 

But it doesn't matter, because if I went to a place where I wasn't sure, I would ASSUME that when I present my genitals to a massage therapist and they giggle like a schoolgirl, then tell me they would rather I touch my own junk, that is a red light flashing in my face to back off. Not keep pushing and pushing. I err on the side of not assuming and take ambiguous cues as warnings. So I could walk into any massage parlor and know the protocol/formula -- aka, MY protocol is if this is a joint that provides handjobs, no one is going to bat an eyelash when I flash them, and if they do, I'm putting that towel right back over myself and apologizing.

 

In fact, a good way to suss it out would be to ask before you take the towel off. At the point you're in the room in private, they'll either oblige or say no, but if you ask first, you'll get your answer. Direct.

 

If you go to a prostitute, you don't need to have sex and risk STDs. It's nearly impossible to get an STD from a handjob. You can hire a prostitute to massage you and give you a happy ending, making sure she washes her hands thoroughly before the whole event. Perfectly safe.

 

My guess though is that this is not going to fulfill your need. I am guessing that part of the rush of this was disrobing and feeling like something a bit naughty was happening in a seemingly innocent situation. And that will all be lost with a prostitute.

 

But if that's not the case and you just want someone to give you a handjob, you can get that with a prostitute and it'd be safe, up front, and probably the best job of her night.

 

Edit: Oh, and I'm very liberal about my views on prostitution. I wish we had it regulated like in some European countries, so that's where I stand with that.

 

Yeah, I did feel a rush when doing that, but it was more of a rush of a fear of the unknown than an actual thrill. If I find the proper person to go to, I'm sure I'll feel much better about it.

Imagine, say, a daughter or a sister or a female childhood friend who, pushed by the brutal recession, goes abroad to a strange country to try to make some money. Most likely saving whatever cash she can get, so that she can send some back home to her family because things aren't so good over there.

 

Imagine she barely speaks the local language, but she's got professional skills of some sort -- as a nurse, say, or a massage therapist. She works really hard, smiles a lot and keeps her head down, since her visa situation is precarious and losing her job will mean almost certain deportation.

 

Imagine one of her customers, your average local man, exposes himself to her. Imagine how uncomfortable she is. She smiles and tries to laugh it off hoping that it'll go away, but the man insists on guiding her hands towards his erect penis. She barely understands what he is saying, but she understands she's got a hell of a lot to lose by refusing and nothing at all to gain.

 

A daughter, a friend, a relative.

 

What you did was very gross and very sad. Your defiant attitude on this thread shows that you either haven't thought at all about the personal, emotional, economic, social, cultural and political repercussions of what you did to this girl (all of which are very negative), or worse -- that you don't actually care.

 

It seems that you are clinging on to this notion that she somehow enjoyed being coaxed into masturbating some stranger. Women (and men) by and large do not work like this. Let's infuse a bit of reality onto the situation -- what are the odds that she'd voluntarily spend a few minutes manipulating your genitals for her own enjoyment and pleasure in a completely level playing field?

 

Like I said, it's just sad. Sad, sad, sad.

 

This is one possible scenario. It's easy to write the script to fit the images in your mind. The fact that it even could be possible and that I am being branded a harrasser in this thread abhorrs and mortifies me. Enough so that I will not return to that establishment again. I have been sufficiently shamed. Which is something very easy to do with a person one doesn't know and situation one was not a party to. I understand that and I appreciate everyone's honesty. The fact remains though that there is a possibility that your scenario is not the case. No one really knows for absolute sure, except for that girl and I certainly didn't want to do anything to hurt her. She did sound very sincere and genuine when she told me I was nice and that I should come back. If she was frightened she played it off without a hitch, I can assure you. But you are all saying that's a cultural thing which may or may not be true, but I won't try anything like this again, just on the possibility that it was.

 

Not that I've ever been, obviously, but from what I understand about rub-n-tugs is that you don't have to ask them to give you a happy ending. They just do it. You certainly don't have to ask them multiple times. And she said, "no trouble" as in "no, I will get in trouble." I hope no one finds out and she gets to keep her job!

 

Don't worry, no one will find out. I won't go back there again on the chance that your worries are real. I've been taught my lesson here.

[Blue Spiral]

Okay, I get the point ladies. Thanks for your feedback. I guess you all think I'm a creep, pervert, rapist or what have you now, but whatever, I asked for your opinion. Duly noted.

 

You shouldn't have asked for their opinions, no. (I spend approximately 1% of my time asking other people for their opinion, and frankly, that's too much.)

 

Regardless, this is something that could have gotten you in trouble (and still could, really), which is why you shouldn't have done it. Never do anything that could get you into trouble.