delicous Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 Yea, but he may have forgot to unblock my text........ Which makes me want to call him ask him whats up? lol..... It's hard girl, going NC!.....We just love these men too much and it's causing issues with ourselves!.....We gotta keep busy, im about to put in my work out video even tho im feeling very tired right now.... Link to comment
delicous Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 I havn't realized anything new that I havn't already except the eagerness to see him, feel him and be with him is getting stronger....I miss him like crazy! I have faith he will return to me when the time is right......I just gotta respect him and myself enough to just not contact him ......unless he contacts me and even then, EVEN he told me if he comes back to shu him away or dn't take sex from him............ So yeah, this is lame! Link to comment
delicous Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 Im not even sure what say it is, like day 13 of not seeing him, even though I broke contact on day 7, i tried to go back to Nc as much as possible......Nc yesterday all day and night.....Im going to try to NC today and tonight as well...Gonna try to get off the comp for a little bit and work out, finish laundry and dishes and maybe call this guy I am interested in, or at least try to txt him............. Hmmm I think im moving on finally....but Im gonna try not to think too much into it, it may just be temporary relief.... Link to comment
gtnovru Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 You're inspiring me! Keep it up girl. Proud of ya. I'm at the gym right now, loving it. Plus a guy I'm interested in texted me today... We deserve so much better than our exes gave us! Link to comment
delicous Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Day 14....Im still healing, definetly still have open wounds, but I have came to the realization to not contact him again.....Let him have his own time and space and if it's meant to be, it would of been.....I miss him, but I realize it's over and I can't wait til my high partner comes along......Got spray tanned today haha, gonna possible get highlights as well tomorrow and a haircut , think itll help??.....I want to look good and feel better and I am starting to love exersizing, think meditating is definetly helping.....Although if I see a full moon or see its 11:11 I still wish God or the Gods, planets to encouragement him to love me and realize it and actually want to committ to me............My wishes are fadeing and I am starting to realize I miss 11:11 almost every night, and the moon thing.........I just can't stop wishing on it, especiallly when it was orbiting the other day................ But yeah, I still have faith in him, in us..... " very little faith" Im letting go........... I can't wait to be at a better place in my LIFE CHEERS to this WEEKEND!! =) Link to comment
delicous Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Satruday Afternoon, literally, its 1 pm here........ I slept in big time because I didn't go to sleep until close to 2am. My dreams were weird as helll...I had a dream he was gay! Another dude was jacking him off....It was the oddest dream. I owned a dog or cat in my dream and him and I were fighting or something, and at a party, we passed out, I had a dream within a dream someone pulled me from the ground by the bed and pulled me down and I wasn't even that scared........Then I was looking from within my bed like I was still in the dream, but woke up from that and saw him and some dude and the dude was jacking him OFF!!! what is WRONG with me??????? So I go up to them and confront them and they both have there eyes closed, almost as if this guy who is doing it to him is taking advantage because hes in a deep sleep....BUT NO!! I go up to him and this guy and confront them, and like I try to get him back and hold him..... ITS THE WIERDEST DREAM!!! The 2nd dream, a dog was talking to me with a human face and doglike body, but I wasn't co-enherent enough to know what he heck she was talking about.................. WHy'd I have such a strange dream, anybody??? So whenever I woke up this morning around 9am, I went pee and went back to bed....Just laying there thinking about whether he can possible be gay.... When someone is gay, they hate what they are...... They don't like anything to do with it.... Like have a phobia of it near them..... That's him, he doesn't like hugs from other dudes or pats on the butt or any of that stuff.... Anyways, It was strange to say the least...... I woke up missing him big time though, thinking about him, wondering why he hasn't called or texted, just completley at a loss.....I don't want to lose him Link to comment
delicous Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 This night has been really lonely and I can't stop missin him and wondering about him and what hes doing and if he is back with her or not.....What hes up to, he use to be with me on weekends when we were actually together.......... I can't do this, I need to talk to him, why isnt he calling this time? Link to comment
delicous Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 First night of not having any dreams about him..... I actually prayed I wouldn't have dreams of him and he wasn't in one of them that I can remember.......... Had a dream about feasting with people and friends, but I never took one bite and I wasn't sure where to sit because someone took my seat, it was weird.... We were eating fish as the main course and also in my dream I saw an actual fish on the table and I picked it up to keep it from swarming off the table..... It was weird.... Link to comment
delicous Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 I think I trully have OCD, i need help and im going to seek therapy or counselling....I don't know the difference, it's hard tho because I work until 6 every day except weekends......so id have to wake up early in the morning and go or ...... read a therapy book or something, i don't know but im going to try my best to get out of this pattern....I texted him, i feel so pathetic, he didn't text back.... Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I think I trully have OCD, i need help and im going to seek therapy or counselling....I don't know the difference, it's hard tho because I work until 6 every day except weekends......so id have to wake up early in the morning and go or ...... read a therapy book or something, i don't know but im going to try my best to get out of this pattern....I texted him, i feel so pathetic, he didn't text back.... He's actually helping you by not texting you back. He's trying to maintain space, which is exactly what you need to get over him and move forward. He's really doing you a favor because you are not strong enough at this point not to contact him, so he is initiating NC to help you to get over him. I think therapy is a great idea. While you might not have OCD per se, it might help you to get to the bottom of why you are so obsessed with him. I therapy would help you also with why you've convinced yourself that you MUST be with this guy; I think you know it isn't healthy, this obsession with him -- it's like an addiction -- and it would be helpful for you to get to the bottom of exactly why you have made him so important to you despite everything he's done -- going back and forth between you and his ex, the whole issue with the abortion, etc. Link to comment
delicous Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 It's like even before him I was ocd from the other ex......I can't figure it out so I def need to get a therapist, just sucks because Im always running late in the morning and have no idea what therapist will agree to see me after 6pm, ya know? But yeah, I still think about him daily, at night before bed, like I have come to the point of grabbing the one stuffed animal he ever won me and started sleeping with it......... There is something wrong with me, I cry but I can't cry that much, I try to tho but it's like I have an emotional block and it's preventing me from shedding lots of tears.... I don't know if that makes since, like a mental block to prevent more hurt maybe? Thank u for reading my triumps and errors, I was beginning to think it was just me in this post lol Link to comment
delicous Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 I still havn't tried to make an appointment or even find a counselor yet, but I plan to.....I guess I still kinda feel like I can do this by myself without professional help......... Maybe I trully do, but just have too much pride to actually go....... Ill figure this out eventually, I just hope he will at least contact me, maybe you are right and hes doing me a favor by not contacting me, but thats him letting go and I just can't deal with that thought........of him actually letting go and forcing me to do the same to him........ I thought we seriously had a shot, had we BOTH committed to eachother and not just go back to the same pattern that wasn't working, wed still be together, maybe in love, you know? Life is not the same with out that man, I really am dieing inside when it comes to him, I love that man. Just wish I could love myself nearly as much as I do him. Here is to week 3 =( Link to comment
gtnovru Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Girl - I thought things were getting better for me. But talking to my ex over text the last couple of weeks really set me back... I've been in therapy for 2 months now... it doesn't really help. It identifies your issues, but it doesn't really help you get OVER the issues. I think this is just a big personal struggle that we have to deal with on our own. And the pain can be so unbearable at times, I feel like giving up - but I just wanna make it through this desert. I'm tired of hurting : ( Delicious - You have friends right? That's my biggest suggestion to you... spend lots of time with friends, other people. It really helps. Link to comment
delicous Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 I know what you are going through, what have you been talking about with him? I hope it's just non-challant and not too personal or emotional...... If you can't handle friendship, cut him off!!! It's so easy giving advice, but so hard taking my own, I don't know what I am doing lol.. By the way, the way you feel about therapy is the same way I feel about self help books....I think its because we don't wanna change....Until we do, we won't take any of the advise... I lke someone else, but don't even know his name or if he really likes me or not, i think he does tho...he works at the same place as me, but in a diff dept. Anyways, thats a small distraction, but I still think about my ex all the time....I texted him that one day and I called lastnight and let it ring , but hung up after realizing it was ringing.....It's like I cannot even give him a chance to answer, id rather txt and wait for a response that way ??? Or maybe Im too scared of how he will act when he answers or worse, if he doesn't answer, how Ill feel!......................... Lots of dots, which just means Im thinking hard lol. Anyways, You are stronger than you think, so hang in there and don't let him walk all over you Ill try to keep my own advise, since i really have no choice since he hasn't called me..... Link to comment
delicous Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 Still miss him...cute guy from work told me what his name is today=) I don't know how I feel about him tho missin my ex, like he imprinted me or something.... Link to comment
delicous Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 I don't think I am over him, I sent a bunch of pics of myself with bra and pantys lol, but they are not sexual pics, just kinda tease pics?....I don't know, wanted him to see how great my body is lookin since I started working out...... even tho ive been resting latley, gotta work out, prob should tonight, maaaybe thats what I should be doing instead of being ont he computer? LOL.... I do miss him though, don't know if its meant to be, but wish we could both just fit together better.....It is so great when its great and it is SOOOO bad when it's bad........ Link to comment
gtnovru Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Are you still working on moving on? Doesn't sound like it? : / Stop contacting him! Lol Link to comment
delicous Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 I can't.....sometimes, i gotto reach out to him + I think he has my text still blocked or I think he would of tried , or maybe not.....I dont know Hope ur havin a better night than I am lol Link to comment
delicous Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 Its been a long time, longer than we have ever been apart for.... Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I don't think I am over him, I sent a bunch of pics of myself with bra and pantys lol, but they are not sexual pics, just kinda tease pics?....I don't know, wanted him to see how great my body is lookin since I started working out...... even tho ive been resting latley, gotta work out, prob should tonight, maaaybe thats what I should be doing instead of being ont he computer? LOL.... I do miss him though, don't know if its meant to be, but wish we could both just fit together better.....It is so great when its great and it is SOOOO bad when it's bad........ These are not tease photos. This is a sexual offering at its most transparent to try and lure him back to you. Please stop this! Regain your self respect. Stop contacting him. When you are finally over him, you are going to wish that you began this process much sooner. Start today. Stop all this obsession about him. He is not the person you have built him up to be. He is just a flawed and basic man. Link to comment
gtnovru Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Feeling low today delicious... How are you? I hope better. How are things with the cute guy at work? Link to comment
delicous Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 well, it was going good until i got fired and never got his # ... Life sucks right now, but im still trying the best I can..... How are you doing ? And Im not over him yet, I still think about him daily, but I'm starting to accept that he may just not come back this time and I am learning to still move forward....Sucks I lost my job again right after meeting someone I click with..... And like the jobs I want are out of my reach bc I don't have a degree and I don't have a degree because I cannot commit to a school loan at this time, I don't know if I evr will... Wish he'd come back and help me get back myself, but I wish he really wanted to be with me and he clearly doesn't or he'd of came back by now Link to comment
gtnovru Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Wow, I feel your pain. Last week I got in trouble at work, and I was so pissed, I put in my notice! That was last Thursday, it was a rough day... so my life sucks too. I hope it gets better for both of us. I do have an interview at another company this week, so I hope I get it because otherwise I'm out of a job, and I just moved into a new apartment on my own. Yep, I'm still missing my ex like crazy too. How do they not even miss us?! How did you get fired? And do you live alone too? Link to comment
delicous Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Dang, we are like so much alike, what are the odds? Yeah, I got my own apt, been holding down the fort for 2 years, well a little over 2 yrs, they make u sign 13 mnth leases. I got let go , like my assignment ended because they said I wasn't catching on fast enough,.....2 weeks into the job, really??? That fast of a determination. I think it had something else to do with my mentor not liking me. She was a stone cold b word!.....But yeah, Im trying my best to pull myself self back up frm my boot straps. I have no job offers yet, I put in for one job only though. ,.... Just got back from H&R block yesterday because I filed an extention and had to have them done Oct 15th. Had to fork over 100 bucks for that and then finding out I owe 600 doesn't make me very happy. I was out of work a lot of last year which is why I own.,... I claimed extempt one too many times.... Yeah, I don't know what causes us to miss people that don't seem to even try to check in with us.....It's an aweful feeling to be dumped but even more aweful when you don't have your own income and becomming broke..... Don't tell urself "if I get the job".....Instead just tell yourself you are going to get it and be fine Goodluck! Link to comment
delicous Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 So i had a situation go on today and reached out to him for help and he called me back within a few minutes...... The conversation was very short, I didn't let it be too long and dragged out. He was still working, so yeah, i let him go, but he didn mention he'd like to talk to me later, so maybe thats a good thing. It's out of my mind that him and I are going to be anything more than friends right now. The way my life is going and what goes on in this mind of mine, i'd be supprised to find a good man before Im 30. Link to comment
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