delicous Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 Don't know why I am being so selfish. I need to get it together, one day or even week I am fine and the next I am a total loss cause again. Over a man who rejected our offspring. Screw my head!!! Oh wait? It has already been screwed! I can't stop thinkin "how can I get him back" for good? I know there is no way without messing with manipulation and stuff, which I am not trying to get into, I do believe in those type of spells and tricks tho, because I used them and had I not of reacted and been maybe more patient, he may have been with me still, but I screwed it up... Why do I keep thinking this to myself when I have someone else in my life who treats me way better? Although, I have not known him as long as I have known my ex, he is a great guy ? Just want what him and I had back, the feeling and everything. id run away with this man, I don't know if anyone can understand exactly whats going through my head. I wouldn't go crazy without him, but it feels like my mental capacity and getting further an further into wondering about what he is up to and how I can get him to see me again? He said he wanted to and hed be back soon, but just visiting, still...I died when he told me that, I got excited when we talked and I honestly will not sleep with him because I am with someone else, but I feel I need to close rough edges with him or something...Like the closure hasn't been done and I know and read that you can create your own closure, but it's about impossible for me to do when the thoughts are so much about him? Yikes, Im tired and scaring myself...Goodnight! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I don't think it has much to do with what's going through your head. As I've written many times before to you, it only has to do with your reactions to what is going through your head. Your reactions and choices are totally within your control. Link to comment
delicous Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 You think so huh? have you met me? lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 You think so huh? have you met me? lol I see. I'm done. Good luck. Link to comment
delicous Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 It was sarcasm, just playin around. I get what ur saying, but its easier said than done. I am very speak before think or follow heart even if it doesn't make sense type of person, unless its work related. I realize by being that way I can get hurt. I don't know how to change it though. He will be in my thoughts for a while, it was not a short term fling. It was supposed to go the distance, thats why I am stuck on the feelings of frustration, sadness, guilt, but when he called just for that moment, it created love and hope. It's hard to explain the logic. Thank you for tryin to help. You don't alway have to give advise to be there for a person. Sorry if my situation frustrates you! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 It's not your situation that is frustrating. I can't give any more input than I've already given -perhaps someone else is better equipped. All the best. Link to comment
delicous Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 Right on, thank you for your input, have a nice life if we don't talk again. Link to comment
delicous Posted June 27, 2013 Author Share Posted June 27, 2013 I think anything you manifest you can make happen. Lastnight, I can't explain in words how he makes me feel. He is my friend, he means the world to me and apparently, I mean it to him too. He cares more than any friend I know. He has a screwed up way of expressing himself at times. But everything he does, he does for a reason. Doesn't really do anything half-a**... I feel that feeling that I thought was gone. I am a very mixed up girl who loves a little too much... But I never give up on something I really want. You can call it obsession, but I don't think he would mind if I was because he feels it too. Link to comment
delicous Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 I think im going to buy a journal. Link to comment
delicous Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 not writing to get advise, just need to let it out! I am trying with every fiber in my body NOT to undo my progress and NOT to write him an email telling him I love him and everything like that. It is going to damage things but heres what I feel like writing. I had a great time talking with you the other day and those times you and I were together, I can remember like it was yesterday. I appreciate everything you have done for me and will never forget those things, it was so kind of you and so thoughtful of you to help me even when we were not an item. There's a lot of feelings still in my heart for you, I still really do have love for you and both of us have grown and I think matured a lot. Those were things that were missing last time we tried. I miss you so much. I know there is no easy way, we would both have to want it and work at it. I just needed to let you know this before I move. I miss you tho a lot and still am looking forward to seeing you if that would still be okay to do, otherwise, I really hope you have a great rest of your life in everything, financially, love wise and happiness... Whatever the decision, it's the right one. Take care! Link to comment
FrustratedFRAN Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 First step to this situation is being able to realize he wasn't a good fit for you. You said it yourself by stating he was a liar and he cheated. Right there is more than enough to run and never look back. You need to realize your self worth girl. You cook for him, you forgive him, make up excuses for him and I'm sure you pick up after him and do anything else he asks because you're a sweetheart. A man like that doesn't deserve you and that's what you need to engrave in your head. Although your heart tells you different you need to ignore it. Next, stop calling/ texting him. Men like confidence. You're showing him the exact opposite of that. Even if you feel vulnurable, never show him how needy you can be. Try showing him how much you don't need him. Make plans with friends, go out for cocktails, get a gym membership, or join a book club. Do whatever it takes to keep busy. Don't get me wrong it's going to hurt for a little, but it's not impossible! As soon as he see's you've let go, he'll come back. He'll unblock you, he'll call, he'll ask about you, he'll want to "fix" things and he'll realize how much he messed up. Great for him, but it's too late for you. Your self worth states you're better than that and someone who genuinely loves you wouldn't put you such traumatic events. So then the hard part comes into play! You block him, throw away his clothes he left at your house, put the pictures in a box and change the radio station when a familiar song comes on. Forget him and hopefully you will. You'll be happy again, trust me. Someone will make you the happiest girl in the world if you give them the chance to. But, you will never know if you waste time on someone who seems to be only using you for when it's convenient for him. Good luck! Link to comment
delicous Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 Thanks hun, i know ur right. I cried thinking about letting him go entirely. Link to comment
delicous Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 Thoughts at this exact moment. It's not working out between me and the other guy and it has nothing to do with me not being over the ex. And there are plenty of guys who would like a chance with me... There are a couple I am interested in giving a chance to, but more or less... I am still hoping this man comes back... It's a vicious cycle. Link to comment
delicous Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 He called and I still really want to see him, what do I do? I didn't answer, I didn't call back and I havn't yet sent another email....He didn't try again tho. He tried one time and one time only...... Its been 2 days, im trying to forget he called and just pretend it was a dream or something..... Feeling so weak and like im mourning a death.... Just watched this movie that made me want a man like that in my life minus him cheating part, but what he did to win her heart back....God, I wish I had been as strong as she was..... I know it's just a movie, but still.....Theres heart in that movie... I really miss my ex, I can't shake the feeling. I know he doesn't care as much as I do, and even if he loved me, he def doesn't love me as much as I love him.... It's uneven..... Im in a lot of pain right now tho, feeling really alone....Can't shake it too well right now. Im hoping he calls again!... Im too afraid to try calling him back....what would i even say? Link to comment
delicous Posted August 7, 2013 Author Share Posted August 7, 2013 People are screwed up, thats all I get out of all this!.... Im tired of it, Im sure it's not good for my health to pay so much attention to this jerk! Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Girl why aryou doing this to yourself? A few months back I remember we exchanged posts kind of being in these boat. Ive been on here since last September and just in th past couple months have I really moved on but I'm so happy I did. You need to stop putting yourself through all this and truly cut him out and focus on you. You can have so much better! Link to comment
delicous Posted August 26, 2013 Author Share Posted August 26, 2013 I am still not recovered lol! Trying my best though... Glad you were able to get through it... I still can say whole heartedly that I miss him. Link to comment
delicous Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 I never moved on. Even after falling in love with someone new... He's my love, we reconnected. Anyone who took all this time to read, hope you enjoyed my rollercoaster so far. I refuse to get off the ride, and that is that. My love is real Link to comment
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