Trinity11 Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Men are boomerangs, my ex has been trying to make himself known/meet up so far I have brushed it off. What did your ex say/want? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 I can't believe im saying this, but I was moving on? I really trully wish he hadn't called me and I hadn't of gone out with him because now Im having a hard time "once again" trying to move forward and date other guys who are more deserving of me. If you choose to move on his contacting you should make no difference -and if it does your choice is to block him from contacting you. If you don't block him that is your choice but then you're choosing not to do everything possible to move on. Link to comment
delicous Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 Trying to take some time to think about my next move before I respond back, sorry guys...ill be updating when I figure it out.... Link to comment
delicous Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 Still thinking, but starting to give up on him and I ever being right for eachother, which sucks, but it's a fact of life that I need to learn and grow to accept. At least, I know he cares enough to stay in touch...Which is my opinion is not a form of "manipulation" on his part. It's a sign he cares, but thats it and I need to NOT mis interperate his staying in touch as him wanting to be with me. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I wouldn't assume that contacting you means he cares. There could be a number of other reasons. Assuming that it means he cares is just going to be more of an obstacle to you moving on. Link to comment
delicous Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 true...yeah I keep going back and forth, I don't know whats wrong with me!...But I know whats right, Im not clueless, you know... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I've never thought you lacked knowledge about what was best for you, you just make certain choices that are not in your best interests. Link to comment
delicous Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 He didn't come back to me, he just i guess was checking to make sure i was still available or something, which hurts like non other...Hes back out of touch again...i guess, possibly for good? Who knows with him, im about 2 mins away from blocking him like he blocked me! Link to comment
delicous Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 I don't know what I am supposed to be praying about at night anymore...Im hurt so badly that I have learned to cover it up with a fascade or whatever the word is.....a alternate self or something. He knew exactly what he was doing and I am hurt worse, don't know what I am doing anymore, why I agreed to show up and see him and everything, why i answered his call later on....I just am doing nothing but worsening and prolonging the pain and suffering and YES it's suffering. I cried for a bout 10 mins straight, and just didn't know what to do with myself.... Couldn't email him again, it'd just make things worse, he knows what hes doing and what I feel and everything, yet he still CHOSE to contact me again! I am so sick and tired of this, I havn't blocked his # yet because I was hoping he'd call so I can tell him to leave me alone....I didn't wanna email him it..... I am so confused....... And I guess he isn't at all... I think I need him in my life, but I guess not seeing as I am hurting and worse than ever!.... I can sleep at night, where as I wasn't able to right after seeing him, literally couldnt sleep for a good 2-3 days, I could sleep, but I couldn't fall asleep for a long time...... I just can't get things right in my head. I am at least sleeping and falling asleep without so much trouble, but I just don't know what or who to pray to anymore... I am rediculously confused about who to warship or pray to....Why would someone who loves me let this type of thing happen? Why would that God answer my prayer in such dismay? I can't figure it out....I can't pray, I just can't....I don't know what to pray about, I got so use to praying about him returning and now that he did, I just am kicking myself.. I wanted it to be different and can't not be sad about it. I don't know if he showed up to check if I still was yearning for him or if he contacted me because he realized he missed me? Or if he trully just wanted to see if we could be "friends." Or worse....He wanted sex and that's it..... I seriously need to just drop it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I don't think this requires praying to god - to the extent it has to do with god, god has given you the ability to act in your own best interest. The rest is up to you. You can choose to block him from contacting you. It doesn't matter why he contacted you because if you were willing to act in your own best interest (which I am certain god would want you to do) then you would have stopped letting this person contact you a very long time ago. You can still make that choice and no prayers are needed- just your own belief in yourself. Link to comment
delicous Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Im having a rough time Batya!---- I just am, I don't know how else to explain it, but Im STUCK and I do realize I need to rid him out of my life. I am strong enough to tell him goodbye for good, but my heart is still fond of our good memories.... Just wish those memories could be erased. I broke down at work today for the VERY FIRST time in a VERY VERY VERY long time.. I thought I was in enough control of my emotions where I could refrain from showing raw emotions for him at work, but I guess not. He has totally unravled all of my progress and I am feel like I am back to point A. of healing again. It is terrible how silly I was to allow to see him again even if the intention was good, I should of known better, whyd I even get ready, if anything...I shouldn't of given a rats behind what I looked like, not gotten "dolled up" for him and totally told him to go stick it where the sun don't shine or BETTER YET- Not agreed to see him at all! I am such an IDIOT, im seriously back to point A on the recovering train! Link to comment
delicous Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 I guess my thoughts are pretty vivid on that fact that I think the thought of us ever getting back together again makes me literally "sick" to my stomach...I shoulda never answered the PHONE! ahhhh i need to block him or just change my number entirely, i dont know...Im a mess!! I just want a man who will fight for me the way I have been fighting for him all this time -----and it's been a lot of energy ive put into this one person and its just pitiful! if smack anyne who allowed this to happen to them... Link to comment
delicous Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 This really really sucks , i lost my cool and emailed him...It took me 6 days but I had to, don't know why... I guess I just am having an incredibly HARD TIME letting go of what I know and once loved more than anything.... I put a lot of energy and time into him. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 He has totally unravled all of my progress and I am feel like I am back to point A. of healing again. But he did not undo all your progress- you did, when you answered the phone, and when you agreed to see him. You can do lots of things to prevent that- block him, change your number, etc., but you refuse to do them. You mentioned in an earlier post that you don't see how counseling would help you get over him, but there's a good chance it would. The counselor doesn't do some magic trick that makes you get over him, but does help you find answers to why you value yourself so little that what this guy does is acceptable. Also, when people talk about marriages breaking down because nobody wants to "fight" to save it, or work on the relationship, they are referencing marriages in which the problems are not similar to what you're going through. He has cheated, you've had an abortion by him with very little support from his end, and he has flat-out chosen to be with someone else. There is nothing to fight for. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 This really really sucks , i lost my cool and emailed him...It took me 6 days but I had to, don't know why... I guess I just am having an incredibly HARD TIME letting go of what I know and once loved more than anything.... I put a lot of energy and time into him. You do know why. You e-mailed him because you wanted to be in contact with him. The end. Try not to overanalyze or dramatize your choices. Many people have a hard time letting go, put energy and time into someone, and make a different choice than you do. For whatever reason the benefits of hanging on to him in whatever way possible outweigh, in your mind, the negatives. As I've written to you many times (each time you choose to be back in touch), once the negatives outweigh the benefits you'll make a different choice. Staying in contact allows you to maintain the fantasy of pursuing someone who has always been unavailable to you, and gives you an excuse not to move on. That is the benefit. There are no healthy benefits here. When you decide to choose and work towards a healthier sense of self then you will choose healthier relationships. Your choice is far easier than doing that work, but doing that work and living the results will give you long term benefits as opposed to instant gratification that you're getting by behaving this way. Hopefully he won't respond to your e-mail and hopefully you'll choose a different path at some point. Link to comment
samiel Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Recovering from heart break is hard but you should really try to find someone who appreciates you. If you keep waiting for him to come back your obsession will grow, it has happened to me. I had to focus on other girls just to start breaking it, so I could teach my mind that there are other girls besides this one. My ex seems to enjoy how I'm hurting still and even though I still care about her, I have to help myself, she certainly won't. You have to do the same for yourself...... Link to comment
delicous Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 The good news is it's not hurting so badly like I was a couple days ago and I guess it's good news he hasn't called? I don't want to have to tollorate his drama anymore and I am realizing I am too good for him. I'm tired of making excuses, definetly am not healed, but the wound seems to feel like it's in my control entirely when it comes to how fast it heals...and closes up for GOOD!... I realize he must of just thought he wanted to be with me and see me and then decided he doesn't and is happy with her, either way it's not my fault and I shouldn't be upset with anyone including myself...It does nothing but prolongs the healing which I DESPERATLY need. What I don't need is a to jump into a new relationship. I don't think I will be able to do that for a couple years in all honesty, which sucks but I need to focus on me and my career and getting myself stronger. I'll know and only I'll know when it's right, nobody can say different. If I am feeling lonely or vulnerable, maybe ill reach out to someone special but ONLY if he is incredibly sweet and perfect. That might mean ill be waiting A LONG time before I start seeing anyone haha! Bataya, you are right, I wanted him to come see me, I wanted him to still be in touch... I agree about what you are saying tho and trying to follow it the best that I can. I realize it's within all my control and I just need to grab the dam bull by its horns and take the heck off!! Samiel- I definetly respect where you are coming from and I agree I need to start letting other guys in my life and stop fixating on him coming back, because quite frankly, he doesn't give two cents about me. Im just trying to maintain confidant and sure of myself....it's hard as heck STILL and I cry nightly, but...it's not as hard as it was before and my mind isn't fixated on him calling again. I get the feeling he won't and even if he does, I won't be tempted to pick up again, he had his CHANCES...... Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I remember seeing some of your threads around September when I joined. I just skimmed through thr past few pages of this and just want you to know I've been going through really similar stuff with my ex. I haven't been able to really move on and I know I'm better than my ex also so why is it so hard for us to just forget about them?! You're not alone girl and I know how you feel Link to comment
delicous Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 He had a great penis, im not going to lie and sugar cookie it and he was very spontaneous and fun, but the brain part, obviously BOTH of them are dumb as a box of rocks! Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 He had a great penis, im not going to lie and sugar cookie it and he was very spontaneous and fun, but the brain part, obviously BOTH of them are dumb as a box of rocks! Hahah! Omg girl you nailed it. Isnt it frustrating finding yourself mixing the sexual things about the ex? Ugh I struggle with that often and have yet to get "out there" with other men. It's taken me along time to realize that my ex has had every opportunity to make things right or to at least say something meaningful... He texts me almost every day and it's never anything Important! He knows how I feel and that I haven't moved on. Link to comment
delicous Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Atleast hes texting you, mine blocked me ..... He told me he was going to unblock me, but he forgot his "pw" yeah, okay?? Such a load of crap and he knows I know he's full of crap. But yeah, being in touch was too much for me, im pretty glad as of right now that he has stayed away.... Don't you feel like you want him to just leave you alone sometimes?? Because whenever he gets in contact....atleast for me, it sets me back by creating false sense of hope. Today was a alright day, I am such a jelous person and I don't know what causes this, but i've been like this for a long long time, even in HS i'd be jelous, but I stayed away from my crush's and what not back then. Today it was hurting because I did develope a crush on someone at work, but he doesn't like me that way... So it's akward because he knows, uuh and he lead me on, so he acted like he liked me and was interested, then switched gears and changed his mind.... and then knowing my ex hasn't talked to me for a while, just kinda makes me feel lonely and unwanted? It sucks! But I know it's the right thing to do to stay away and push forward with my own life and goals. He's be controlling my emotions too much these past few years and when you read everything i've written it's become pretty apparant. Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 You know sometimes I wish my ex would block me because I don't have the balls to block his number an actually stick with it. I enjoy seeing his name pop up on my phone but its never anything being said that makes me happy or never anything important. He calls me drunk pretty often professing his love and wanting me to come visit him but the next day it's like it never happened. It's too hard with him contacting me because I imagine he's sleeping with other woman and what not it just drives me nuts! But it's so hard to let go and I get false hope from the littlest things... The most recent being him asking what I was doing and I told him I was out with this guy friend and he goes "have fun with your dude ttyl" stuff like that that make him seem jealous but nothing ever come from it. Wow I've been through that recently with a crush too!! It's awful! I also feel unwanted when I don't get attention from men and my ex hasn't been texting me and I know how bad that is to need make attention but I just feel so lonely when I don't have someone coming around hitting me up. My ex has a control over me too ever since we started hanging out three years ago and I hate it but its so hard to get out of!!! I literally had to delete Instagram from my phone because I've been checking his freaking friends and girls he might be with, how crazy is that?! My emotions have been so dependent on what's going on with him. We just hav to get through this and stay away!!! I'm really committed lately to finally moving on and not prolonging it but its just so damn hard. Link to comment
delicous Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 You sound a lot like me, and I have that mind frame but swaying away from those thoughts as much as possible and you gotta remember that YOU have the control over your thoughts not HIM... He sounds a LOT like my guy except, I think he would of definetly gotten jelous if I told him the truth about how I have been on dates and kissed another guy and stuff, but I just didn't wanna seem like a "hoe." Soooo I didn't tell him, I guess to spare his "feelings" and didn't want to ruine our chance because my ex before him asked me and I was completely honest and the guy never wanted to see me again, I broke his heart like he broke mine... And this was AFTER we broke up, but maybe it was too soon for me to of admitted that to him, I don't know? lol! But yeah I feel you girl, stay strong, this guy sounds like a lot a lot like my guy except I thank my lucky stars that he DOESn't have any type of social networks profiles that I can STALK or better believe id be going twice as crazy as I already am going... I miss him and it's so annoying, but it's turning into something like a goal or something...Like I know I have he feelings I do and want to eventually pursue, but I want a Coach purse one day as well, which is a very long term goal, I think he's leaving my mind finally, sourta??? I don't know if that example made any sense but Coach bags are about 500 dollars! "not in my wallet at all lol" So its something I "rarely" think of because I know it's not a short term achievable goal, thats kinda my Ex at this point... He's that Coach bag lol..... I miss the sex so much it seriously is causing me to emotionally eat, you don't even wanna know what I bought at the store the other day, NOTHING but JUNK! Funny how when I was with him or my other partner prior to him how healthy id shop... I need to change! Link to comment
delicous Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 And the weekend is upon us again, hah, fun to be single? Link to comment
delicous Posted April 15, 2013 Author Share Posted April 15, 2013 I broke.... and caved but i didn't ask for him back, it was more of a "this sucks missing you" type of email...I didn't say much tho, i said a couple lines, but nothing crazy, just couldnt help to let him know he was on my mind and it sucks. Link to comment
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