Picking Myself Up Journal

[Silverbirch]

I was too tired to go to D's and pretty much stayed in bed apart from having something to eat. He spoke with me on the phone and tells me he is very worried. I don't want him to stress. I've told him that I'm going to get better and everything will be okay. I'm going to have to get up soon but feel like I could sleep all day. I feel bad that I am upsetting people. My son has been great, but I can tell he is upset too.

[journeynow]

Thinking about you, and hope you're ok. You know, it's ok for your loved ones to be concerned and to care. It doesn't make you a burden or a cause of their stress. Take care of yourself, and don't be too stoic. I hope you rest well and heal well!

[Silverbirch]

BIG HUGS JN AND THANK YOU. I haven't been home long. Stayed at David's place last night and worked all weekend. I'm feeling fine but very, very tired from work. There was a lot to deal with at work with some unexpected things happening and it was extremely busy and I was on my feet the whole time.

 

D has been wonderful and I can't believe how he has become SO affectionate and caring. . . . and there is something different . . . I'm trying to put my finger on it. He told me last night: "I've gotten used to you now". I felt so comfortable with him and I could tell from how he was that he felt the same way. Of course, we only got to see each other not long before sleep and then woke up together and it was practically time for me to rush off again. I still am getting all warm and tingly when he touches me or hugs me and I still feel myself fascinated by his face and his whole person - he's so tall and solid. Of course, it isn't just the way he looks. He's just different in a lot of ways to anyone I have known and his humor is wicked.

 

He's going to come collect me from my place on Wednesday and take me to his home. Then on Thursday he will take me to the hospital, arriving at 7am for surgery 8.30am.

 

He's been in a fair amount of physical pain over the last couple of days. I'd say some of it from over-exertion with having an outdoor physical job. He's been looking at Harley motorcycles and thinking of getting one - if he can find a reasonable one for a reasonable price.

 

Tomorrow morning I go see the psychologist for my anxiety. I haven't been before so hopefully it will go okay.

 

Thanks again.

[Silverbirch]

Okay, about time for some good news. First good news is that David rang to say that my gold bangles turned up at his place.

 

Other good news is that I saw the psychologist today and it went very well. I am going to see him to deal better with my anxiety. He talked about mind and matter and a particular Australasian health body, mostly of doctors and of a particular Australian organisation which acts as a collective for information on this, and also on cancer and the role of the mind. He spoke about the Ian Gawler Foundation which is an organisation which produces information for people with cancer and utilises mindfulness techniques to fight cancer. I will go back and see him in 2 weeks. I feel a lot more hope in many areas of my life which I have felt anxious about. Further down the track, we are also goiing to use some hypnotherapy.

 

I'm very tired today after such a busy weekend with work and have a full shift tonight. I will try and get work for tomorrow and then probably just rest for a little on Wednesday before I get everything ready to go away for the surgery and chemo. I have decided not to tell work about the cancer, and feel even more strongly about this since speaking with the psychologist I will call work on Wednesday and simply say that I will be off work for a couple of days due to a medical condition and will then provide the medical certificates which will not give specific information.

 

I wish I could go back to bed, but there is so much to do. I hope you all have a great day if anyone is reading this. XXXX

[Realitynut]

Crapola....i'm hardly working.....sit on my butt all day....don't have cancer....no stress (except about the kids) and im still tired. In fact...i'm gonna take a nap and then hopefully get up and get going.

 

You work soooo hard. Now don't get yourself run down. You have to get plenty of rest to fight this thing.....

 

I had a feeling your bangles would show up!

 

Take as many naps as you want or need.....and only worry about yourself....

Right now the time is all about you....your mother will be there when you recover.

Plus her depression might drain you....go when you are stronger physically

and mentally.

 

Glad David has finally come to his senses....lol

 

Gonna take a nap...talk later...

C

[Silverbirch]

Big Hugs and Thanks Carla. Fortunately I have more work today too and then tomorrow, hopefully a sleep in then clean this place up - it's such a mess and I have so much washing to do. It's been raining and I don't have a clothes dryer so tomorrow I will be busy. God, I think when I get to the hospital, I'll feel relieved to just lie down for a while. LOL!

 

I went to the psychologist, Michael, yesterday who was great, and I will see him again in about 2 weeks time. He said that we get depression from thinking about yesterday and anxiety from thinking about tomorrow and that I need to learn how to spend more time in the now. I would agree with that.

 

Anyway, have a great day. XXX

[Silverbirch]

I'm so tired but have so much to do!!! I extended my shift at work last night so got home very late. I've done my money figures in my head and I should be okay with money even though I'm going to be off work for a week. Due to my contract, I will only get one day's sick leave as the rest of my hours are casual. When I get back though, I'll put in a bit more extra work and should be back on top of things for a while.

 

I received a text from my ex, G. There had been contact between us a couple of weeks ago about he last of my stuff, but that was before the last diagnosis came back. I had to defer collecting my stuff - am going to hire a van to get every single last bit. I don't want to be having to go back there and he offered to also come out here to my place. I've stayed very polite in my contacts with him. A few weeks ago, when I had to defer picking up my things, I did tell him that I was having to go back into hospital. He already knew about the first tumor, but of course I hadn't told him about the recurrences. The last time, when I couldn't get my stuff, I told him about going back in. He's contacted me a couple of times now, offering to "support me". I have just said thank you very much, but I'm fine and do have friends and family who are helping me and there is nothing I am going without. Around a week ago, he sent me a text saying: "Glad you sound so optimistic, but I'm not there yet." I wouldn't say that I felt upset, but I did feel glad that I am no longer with him. I did think, "Sheez, does EVERYTHING have to be about YOU and how YOU feel."

 

I feel like I'm having to be careful and play things down with everyone because most of the people who know, especially those closest to me, are more upset than I am. David has bought a new motorbike - something he has wanted for years - and is waiting on the seller providing a roadworthy certificate. I told him that is great and he will be able to go on a long ride with his best friend soon. They've talked about it for years - going away for a couple of days riding. David said that he isn't going anywhere until he knows I'm okay and if that is months, then so be it.

 

I made jokes last night with one of the very few people at work who knows and who I like a lot. I was telling her how I have to try and look on the bright side. If the surgeons decide my bladder has to be removed and I have to wear one of those plastic bags for my wee on the outside of my body, at least I won't ever become one of those little old ladies who wets her pants! I'll be able to always laugh and cough without worrying about wetting myself!!

 

I'd better try and get some things done, housework, care of animals and pack my bags. I hope I won't be away long but I will be taking my laptop with me so I will very likely be posting from the hospital. XXXXX

[mhowe]

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up the great attitude -- and give David a big smooch!

[Realitynut]

"Sheez, does EVERYTHING have to be about YOU and how YOU feel."

 

I've come to the realization that i do this...ALL THE TIME!! And i think the realization came while talking to YOU! Always seems like i turn the convo back to me...something that i have to work on...but now that i am going on 58 years old, I might be too old to change!! DMN....that sounds old!! Dammmm....that IS old!!! lol I really feel like i should be in my late 30's...or 40's....i think when i get back on these dating sites...i'm gonna lie about my age!!! Hahahahaha

 

And now to turn the convo back to me....hehehehe...again...still...

 

Little old ladies that 'wee' themselves when the laugh or cough!! Thanks....i do that all the time...and don't forget the 'sneeze'....shheeet....I think i should start wearing panty liners...ok...maybe i'm NOT in my late 30's!!!

 

Stay strong sweeties. I know that you are.....and that you do have good support. Come here anytime you are feeling down...we'll do our best to cheer ya up!

 

I went walking in the park yesterday and was looking at a squirrel, and thought of you. I stopped a couple walking by, and told them i was talking to a girl (hehehe...girl....lol) in Australia who had never seen a squirrel or a racoon. Squirrels are everywhere around here....thought they were everywhere....period.

 

Now racoons....never saw them out in the wild...where they should be...but now they are rampant in our neighborhood. I live in a very old section, that has old sewer drains etc....and they live in there. And in my attic...YIKES! My old dog was a welsh Corgi, and kept the animals at bay. The chihuahua doesn't!! lol

 

Would you ride on the bike behind David?? Would be fun. Enjoy the spring coming. Today was very nice, beautiful and warm!!!! Tomorrow it's back to cold and rainy. Winter is coming....ugh. I hung a LOT of laundry out on the clothes line today. No one does that anymore. I never did, but Dan always made me cuz he was soooo damn cheap, didn't want to use the dryer. Now that i'm OLD...i enjoy seeing the clothes on the line....(and i've become cheap!!)

 

How do you dry your clothes during the winter??? Just in the house??

 

Hugs...Carla

[Silverbirch]

Thanks so much MHowe and yes I will give him lots of big kisses!

 

BIG BIG HUGS Carla! Oh, I didn't mean you at all silly. I love our banter and hearing about your adventures! Squirrels look so cute and I liked that movie Alvin and the Chipmunks. I'm sure we don't have chipmunks here either.

 

Well, I spent my first 30 or so years living in the sub-tropics where it is sunny almost all year round and everyone uses the clothesline or did when I lived there. When my son was a bub, I used cloth nappies. My mum had 3 of us in nappies at the same time and they used to have these really old fashioned clothes lines which would be full every day with white cloth nappies and a lot of mums would take pride in those clean white nappies. LOL, things have changed. I have several fold-up indoor clothes lines as do most people and we put them about the house where we think the clothes will dry fastest. If they are still wet in a few days, I go to a laundromat which is about a 20 minute drive away so obviously I don't go all the time, and most of us just try and stay on top of the washing, something that rarely concerned us in the sub-tropics. Also, here outside of Melbourne and in this state, we need so much more clothing due to the weather being very changeable - they say we often have 4 seasons in one day. Most of us, especially women dress in layers so we can take it on and off. Also, when I can, I buy polar fleece rather than wool as it dries much more quickly.

 

Well, it's mostly overcast today, but where I live we have 3 seasons in one day. As David has a pilot's license, he knows a lot about weather and he tells me that where he is which is only around 45 minutes drive away, that they get cold air from the Antarctic, but if you head just over not too far, there are mountain ranges and on the other side, the weather is very different because the cold air and rain gets trapped on his side. So after this winter we had, he is determined to one day live on the other side of the mountains - and wants me to go with him!

 

Well, he has always said how he doesn't like having a pillion passenger because it affects his balance,etc. I totally know where he is at because when I used to figure skate, I hated to have a partner because of balance and trust. So of course, I tell him that and that I don't care anyway about going for a ride. He tells me that I am the only person who he will allow on the back (I'm sure he will let his daughter too), but that it will just be a short trip. He said also that with him having the bike, it will save him a lot on fuel and that he will ride his bike to my place because of that and also because he will enjoy riding up the range and the bends on the road.

 

My younger sister just rang to say that Mum is now in hospital and will likely be there one month. Blood tests showed that the medication she takes has affected her sodium levels and she has become confused because of this.

 

I seem to be getting through some of the things I need to do and have a whole heap of phone calls and texts to do tonight. I really hope I can come home on Friday for several reasons. I wish I had a bit more time to get things sorted out more here, but will be okay.

 

BIG BIG HUGS TO EVERYONE XXXXXX

[Silverbirch]

It's 6.20pm. I'm packed and got most stuff done. I'm still waiting to hear from D. I thought he was coming this afternoon. Last night, my phone ran out of charge so I couldn't ring him to say goodnight. I've been trying all day to reach him. He rang me once while I was driving but I couldn't answer the call. I hope nothing has happened. If so, I will just get my own way to hospital. No big deal. My GP rang me today and he reassured me that the chemo is nothing to worry about - it's just an extra thing the docs are going to do for me to help the tumors stop recurring. He says he would think I am a long way off from having to have my bladder removed.

 

You know, right now, I'm feeling more uneasy about not having my own car and that I will have to be away from my own place. I hope it won't be for long. I love my car so much.

[Realitynut]

OK>>>>>where is that D!!!! If i thought my bf was coming in the afternoon...and was suppose to be taking you to the hospital....and it was 630.....grrrrr.

 

Maybe that is why i don't have a bf....lol

 

You are waaaay too good SB.....

 

Prayers and hugs

C

[Realitynut]

ooops....after i posted that and re-read it...it said MY boyfriend taking YOU to the hospital...lol

 

soo. if MY bf was suppose to come and didn't and it was 6:30grrr

[Realitynut]

ps...again SB. Just remembered my oldest boy told me last night, that it was too late for 'DAD andME'...huh?

 

I guess ex-husband ran off and got married yesterday in the Bahamas. Dang...i think he only knew her for 8 months.

 

HE and i were both on Match last winter for 3 months. link removed kept trying to 'match' us up!!! lol....he met someone (apparently) and i didn't (obviously)

[Silverbirch]

HUGS EVERYONE. I'm just great apart from a headache and face aching which I'm fairly certain is due to hayfever maybe the anaesthetic leaving my body could have something to do with it.

 

When I was at the hospital in the operating room, the surgeon told me that the hospital has a shortage of Mitomycin and didn't have any of the strength which he says would be right for me so I didn't have it. I don't know yet what is happening with chemo but he didn't seem too concerned. The nurse told me there were 3 very small tumors. This time was the easiest for me = no blood visible in my urine. I had some nausea and a small amount of vomiting, but it was easy and they even let me come home.

 

My son has been wonderful and he brought me home and stayed here with me for some time. My little black pony seems to have laminitis so I moved all the ponies into the small paddock which has the least amount of grass and gave hi a herbal mix David had given me which has slippery elm bark in it and it has helped before so will see how he is in the morning. He should be improved. If not, I will have to get a vet and have him on Bute. Anyway, I had to put dry hay out for him. Usually, I try to wear a mask as I'm allergic to grass seeds. Well, I won't do that again in a hurry, silly me.

 

Doc said that I should be able to return to work Monday. Spoke to 2 of my sisters yesterday and rang my mother at the hos[ital last night.

 

LOL, David rang just after I posted and came shortly after. He had been busy all day and had a surprise to show me at his place.

 

Ever since I have known him, I have told him that I have so wanted to have a John Deere Ride-On Mower. Well, he tookk me to the shed and uncovered it - a brand new John Deere. He has been great. I'll post more tomorrow as sorry but my head is beginning to thump.XXXXXX

[Silverbirch]

I spent most of the day in and out of bed. In the earlier part of the day, I felt a lot like I had a hangover, but I wouldn't say I was in any pain.

 

Anyway, it was just so great to see my son yesterday and we are having lunch together in a fortnight. I told him about the John Deere and asked him for suggestions about listening to music while I ride and mow. He said he has an ipod which he will give me and for me to tell him my top 10 favourite albums and he will download them into the ipod. Any suggestions. I was thinking of uplifting music, maybe Aretha Franklin, a bit of Creedence Clearwater and Doobie Brothers.

 

My little black pony is a lot better. I have been giving him slippery elm tea and leaves and kept him off green grass. He has had a lot of dry hay to eat.

 

I still don't feel up to going to David's and told him not to come here - he is having a long day at work. I will go to his place tomorrow and I'll look around for a recipe of something really good to cook. He likes my artichoke heart fritters and I was thinking of maybe a Thai dish with tofu in it.

 

Hope you are all having a good day. Big hugs to anyone who is sad right now or having a bad time. Despite some of the things happening in my life, I am genuinely happy and actually the calmest I can recall ever being. XXXXXX

[Realitynut]

Aretha Franklin, Creedence Clearwater, Doobie Brothers....and JOHN DEERE....oh SB...you are so Americanized!!! lol

 

Just a little tidbit of information....John Deere is made (home base) in Moline, Illinois. The town that i live in (Rock Island) butts right up to it. Basically can't tell where one ends and the other starts. John Deere has a big pavilion/museum type thing. I've never gone.

 

Tell your son to Download 'Big Green Tractor'...it was a VERY popular country song a few years ago...about a guy who tell his girl he can take her for a ride on his Big Green Tractor....it's very catchy...and uplifting...and whenever you hear it...you can think of ME!!!

 

I can't believe that the stupid hospital scheduled you for this procedure...then didn't have the right stuff to do it!!! DUMB!! In a way it's a relief for you not doing it...but still...i'd rather have those tumors GONE ASAP!!

 

David can ride his motor bike and you can ride your lawnmower....awwww....

 

I am soooo glad you are feeling, happy, peaceful, calm. Isn't that the best feeling??? I know Dan and i fought...but when things were good...Oh MY...i was sooo happy. I remember hanging up clothes and listening to music, and just dancing out of pure happiness....

 

Dang...i sure like to feel sorry for myself.

I bought a new bed today.

It was sUPER cheap.

 

Also, someone was suppose to come look at my apartment today...to rent...and i got all excited! Cleaned last night and tonite. Then she called and canceled.

Another reason i'm bummed. Now i can't do anything, cuz i'd mess it up!!! lol

 

Hugs,

C

[Realitynut]

hahaha SB...we are on here at the same time...we could almost do a 'chat'...lol...anyway, it is after 3am...here...and i'm headed to bed....

 

Huggers...

C

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carla,

I'll go have a listen to that song on Youtube. Thanks. Well, I hope the right tenant for your apartment comes along soon. It's 6.30am here right now and I've been in and out of bed for a while. I so need to do some housework today but I bet I don't - especially as sunshine has been forecasted. I'd rather spend some time outdoors.

 

I never thought of myself as being Americanised, but I suppose in a lot of ways I am. David and I also like old chevrolet's. Ever since I saw "Thelma and Louise" who drove a 1958 chevrolet convertible, I have loved them.

[Silverbirch]

It's around 11pm. I'm in some discomfort right now but putting off taking pain relief. I have my heat pillow in bed with me which does help quite a lot. I wonder if after a couple of days, internal bruising or something comes up. I have aches in both sides and my groin has been sore all day and last night too. At first I thought I was getting a period. I think a major part of it could be that when I have general anaesthetics, it affects me being able to go to the toilet. I have taken 2 things for it which are supposed to be quite strong and had a strong hot chocolate. The thing is that the Endone tablets which I have (it's some type of morphine derivative) will make the toilet problem worse which is why I'm so reluctant to take it, and I don't think that Panamax will do much for this pain. I'm going to try some mindulness techniques and see if they help.

 

Supposed to be going to David's tomorrow but don't know I will go. I don't know if I will be up for workon MOnday either and am not going to push myself to go either.

 

I did have a busy day today but I'm sure I didn't overwork myself. I had to spend time with the little black pony as he has become llaminitic, but I'm sure is now greatly improved after today. I gave him the herbal mix and soaked his most sore hoof and leg in a bucket of cool water. I went aqnd bought him some rescue remedy and he just licked it off my hand.

 

Of the 3 ponies, 2 have their spring coats now, but the oldest looked terrible. Her winter coat was partially falling out and her tail needed shampooing and grooming so I did that. I also did some housework, more washing - linen and a blanket, and more clothes. God, I seem to go through so many clothes. Not sure why.

 

If I still have this ache tomorrow, I'll be eating licorice and corn and taking things relatively easy, but with some gentle walking. It was lovely being in the sunny paddock with the ponies today. I need to make more time to do that more often. I'm missing my dog who is at David's place. David said he has pined for me a bit - that he goes and sits on "my side of his bed" on my pyjammas and gets a sad look about him. I might just go to David's for a short while and collect my dog and come home. David has been working all weekend with a sore back and sprained ankle though he says it's improved. I was going to cook something nice but think I'll go to my favourite bakery and buy a vegetarian pie to take with me instead.

 

Feeling a little better as I'm typing this. It takes my mind off the discomfort somewhat.

[Silverbirch]

I had an uncomfortable night and didn't sleep well. Finally, I took pain relief at around 6am and feeling so much better though drowzy. I went out to check on my ponies and they are all looking good. My cat has been cuddled up to me.

 

Last night I dreamt about my son's father. It was strange because in the dream, I said something to him which I think I should have said to him while we were married. I am actually on good terms with him. I also dreamed, but thought it was real when I woke up that I heard a noise at the front door in the middle of the night so I got up and opened the door a little and my dog ran inside. He is staying with David and I'm missing him a bit. He climbed into bed with me and we both went to sleep.

 

I was a little panicky this morning with the pain I had, hoping it isn't related to other tumors. I don't have the results of my CT scan yet and have an abominal ultrasound on Friday. Fingers crossed.

[Silverbirch]

I've spent most of the day lying about and on my laptop. I googled "shortage of Mitomycin". It appears that due to demand, that there is not much of a profit in it's manufacture, and that it is currently not planned to be produced again until February, there will not be easy access to Mitomycin. The surgeon didn't seem all that worried, but I'm going to get more proactive in fighting this cancer. I've heard of something called the Budwig diet, and here in Australia (I didn't know it isn't something well-known in the US), we take Ural Sachets for urinary tract infections and also bladder cancer. Apparently, some people with bladder cancer and other types of cancer make their own types of powder which is the same as Ural - made mostly from Baking Powder and Bicarb powder. The idea is to keep the body's system alkaline. The Budwig diet isn't really a diet but a mixture you make up fresh twice a day mostly from flaxseed oil, unground flaxseeds (which you grind fresh with a grinder) and cottage cheese or yoghurt. There are foods to be eliminated such as sugar and coffee (I already know these are bad for me and make my internal system less alkaline).

 

I'm waiting for the Endone to be as far out of my system as possible before driving to David's. I think I'll just come back home as I'm wanting to be in my own bed and not doing much today.

 

I'm not down or anything, just sort of tired and lazy and as I know I will have to get back to work as soon as I can, I just want to build my energy back up, the sooner the better.

[Realitynut]

Oh punkin...if i was rich...lol...i'd fly over there and give you a nice, long back massage!!!

Did they cut the tumors out again this time??? What exactly did they do?

 

 

My feelings are: you work too damn hard!!! lol....washing and soaking little black ponies foot etc. is hard on YOU! Even tho you enjoyed yourself!

 

I got off the dating site cuz it was depressing. I could chase men away faster than David switches 'moods'.....lol...and that is FAST!

 

So last night i read about link removed. So i looked into it, and there is a hike happening today.....or tomorrow...however you look at it. (It's after 3am Sunday morn) Anyway, i joined. It looks like it's mostly women, but that's ok. I'm doing it for the fun and to get out and do something. Pup and i originally were going to go for a long drive and look at the colored trees...but gas is so expensive. This hike is taking place in my neck of the woods. The town i work in. I live in an area that is called the 'quad-cities'...it has 4 cities (actually more now) in one area. 2 are on the Iowa (state) side, and the other 2 are on the Illinois (state) side. The mississippi river separates them.

 

My first car was a '63 chevy convertible. A hunk of junk at the time...but sure wish i had it back now....lots of CHROME...lol...built like a tank. My dad paid $125 dollars for it!! Used....10 years old when i got it. I graduated in '73. It was a robins egg blue (aqua). I was driving to beauty school one winter. The car had no heat, the passenger side window had fallen down inside the panel of the door, You couldn't see out the back window.....it was soooo cold i was driving with a blanket around me...scratching the frost of the INSIDE of the car window....and my GLASSES!!! DANG.

 

My sister got a really nice car when she graduated, and she promptly traded it in for a BRAND NEW camero!!! For some reason, she's always had a silver spoon in her mouth....lol The baby...and 6 years younger!!

 

I'm envious that summer is coming to your home. Tomorrow tho is going to be REALLY NICE. Can't wait to go hiking. Wish i was with someone i like. I can't STAND to be in a group of people i don't know...but i'm trying to push my comfort limits.....lol....i mean, how bad can it be??? If i don't like anyone....i just walk alone...

 

Geeze, i'd be taking LOTS of pain pills....and then LOTS of laxitives....and then LOTs of sleeping pills....and then drink LOTS of coffee in the morning...with lots of chocolate.....or pie...or....well...you get the idea!

 

Hope i can make you smile a little...and the pain subsides....and you can go potty...lol

 

Hugs and a cyber back rub,

Carla

[Silverbirch]

BIG BIG HUGS Carla. Your old car sounds so lovely! I cant remember the name of the model of the chevie from Thelma and Louise, but when I remember it, I will post.

 

Re the tumors, I'm so lucky and I MUST keep being positive because if I don't it's too easy to go down. There is so much to be grateful for. Firstly, that they are getting these recurrences when they are tiny and that they are still at this stage, low-grade and non-invasive. I think the surgeons have been a little surprised at how quicklythey are coming back though

 

I'm posting from a shopping centre as I'm waiting fr the pharmacy to open so I can try get some different type of laxative. I might just try and get some barley powder as that is something I should be taking daily. I've taken it before and it's good for lots of things. I stayed at David's last night - had thought I'd just go over for dinner and when I told him I wouldn't be staying, I saw his face drop. When I arrived, he got all tearey - not a usual way to find him. He told me about 6 times "You're a good sort". LOL, he was cursing the weather as usual though.

 

I had to get up early again this morning due to the pains in my lower back and side and also groin. I'm just about 100 per cent that this is just the general anaesthetic having slowed my metabolism down - I haven't been to the toilet properly since before Thursday which is certainly not usual. I got up and walked on David's property after drinking 2 very warm chai teas with little result. Sorry if this is all sounding yuk, but I've realised that I should have taken laxatives for a couple of days BEFORE the anaesthetic and I wouldn't be in this discomfort.

 

Now sorry if I'm repeating myself, but with the Mitomycin possibly not being available until February, and for other reasons, I'm going to try this thing called the Budpest diet which is not so much a diet as such but some gunk you make up and eat twice a day and there are also things you eliminate from your diet. I was surprised that the American people on the bladder cancer support network had not heard of Ural. Didn't know it is Australian, but the idea is that you alkanalise at least your bladder. I'm suupposed to take it twice a day, but I've seen this website started up by survivors of cancer who have used alternative methods and part of that has involved making up their own "Ural" and then testing themselves with litmus paper to check they are having enough to alkalinise themselves. Apparently, most tumors can't grow in an alkaline environment. I also recall a while ago, somebody at work telling me that with some types of either lymphoma or leukaemia, that in a lot of cases, doctors have established that sufferers have had some type of parasite in their intestines. Anyway, enough of all this blah, I'm starting to sund obsessed. Very fortunately though, there is a village not too far from where I live where there is an excellent health food store and I'm quite certain I will be able to find everything I need. Fortunately also, with these cancer diets, they recommend vegetarianism and only certain types of dairy - cottage cream cheese and some types of yoghurt. I will also need to eliminate soy which won't be too hard as now it's become easy to get almond and rice milk here.

[Silverbirch]

Oh, I had to put more money in the slot as I nearly ran out of time!

 

Anyway, I will go back home, feed my ponies and cats, dose up on laxatives, have a bath and then go back to David's. Will make sure I take some pain relief with me too.

 

Hopefully, the grass will dry out enough and the sun will stay out and David will give me my lesson on John Deere. Says he wil take a photo of me on it. I'll post it, but would rather post when I'm looking good! that's vanity for you! I was so glad that when I visited David yesterday, I had done my hair, put on makeup and bling and had my favourite perfume on. It all definitely helps me feel better.

 

Hey, Meetup- Yeah, I joined and went to some things and liked it a lot. I went to an Italian-speaking group which met up at resturarants. The hiking groups were hard to get into as they are always so popular that they stop taking people once they get to maybe 50-80 people. I've noticed though that they don't seem to often go for long, but then new ones spring up.

 

I'm going to keep going to the Film Society Group which surprisingly is quite local to me, but I've missed out on this months as it was on last Friday.

 

I met up with another ENA member, Elcie, at a group I met with on Meetup. It was lovely. It was a young Italian couple who held dinners in their home. They did it because they wanted to meet people. I enjoyed it so much, and of course, meeting Elcie also.

 

Well, the pharmacy is opening now, so I will get off my tush and get moving. Have a great day and it's always good to hear from you.XXXXXXXXXXXXX