Girls always have another guy easily lined up?

[radiohead20]

Why does it always seem that after a relationship has ended, that a girl always has a available pool of guys to choose from that like her and usually has one "lined up" if she chooses?

 

I have noticed that after all my breakups and most of my friends' breakups that the girl has another guy either lined up immediately after (as a rebound) or finds another relationship within months of breaking upl. If she chooses to wait and get over the previous relationship, she can "find" another one almost immediately. Furthermore, she usually does not have to put any effort into finding someone. he/she just pops out of blue and courts her.

 

It is like women do not have to worry about not finding someone, even someone that they can develop something meaningful with

 

 

From a guys perspective, it is completely different. Well first of all - I know guys are more inclined to want to be single and "hook up" and just have fun after a long relationship - but I know the ones that didn't it was much harder for them to find someone after the recovery period is over and they were comfortable being single.

 

 

 

Why is this?

[Thorshammer]

Because men are the hunters, they seek out the female and make their intentions known. Many women do not do this, they will hide their intentions and never hint that they are attracted. When my ex broke up with me, i scrambled for evidence as to why, and i got into her facebook (she eventually did the same with me), many guys were hitting her up as soon as she put 'single' on her status, she eventually deleted her status update to avoid the attention (i also had women messaging me on facebook when i put single, so men can be on the spotlight for more aggressive and confident women).

[Moontiger]

This has never been true for me or any of my female friends. We all tend to spend a long period of time between relationships. Might just be the people you know.

[Liraele]

It probably is easier for women, in some regards. Doll yourself up, go to a club, and even if you're not a perfect 10, you'll have guys attention by the end of the night. Guys will approach whereas girls are often more shy about doing so. Really depends a lot on age and confidence level, too.

 

Some people are serial relationship artists - they can't handle being single, so they jump from one to the next to the next without thought of healing or restoring their "self."

 

Dozens of different explanations, that's really only a couple of the possible scenarios. I wouldn't say that your statement applies to "all" or even "most" women, though. Age, social status, etc. may be playing a significant role in the trend you are seeing.

[soloman9]

I would say it sounds like they already have these men lined up before they ended with you. A common thing I have noticed my friends do (never myself) is getting the next guy ready whilst still in a relationship, and dumping the old guy when they know the next one is ready. These friends are serial relationship artists as Liraele put it. I think girls don't often dump until they have the next person to fill the space.

[caz1990]

It is because she does not want to be rejected. What you wants, she cant properly have so she will sulk about it and leave it for a few days and start flirting with guys or go out with her girls, dress up and get drunk, like it hasnt happened and ignore the rejected to find someone to replace the disappointment and unhappiness she feels.

 

Having a man line up can help reduce the hurt and pain that is deep down inside her. She doesnt want to feel left on the bench, so to boosting her ego by speaking or having a few guys running after her. It is like "so i can get someone, even if i want someone else". It sound wrong and harsh but its true. It is a guarding method of not being able to show she is weak.

 

Then you will see that some women will actually leave things. That is rare now to see women sulking, not coming out of her room because the one person she wants, cannot be there for her when she so desperately wants. So its an insight. Guys can do the same, go out have fun but i suppose they dont jump into things so easily without hurting someone in the process. It is like a fix it be having someone else in the picture to move on from the person that meant something to them.

[cupcake22]

Not true for me either.

[locolady]

Not all of us do! It took me 5 years to meet someone I wanted to have a relationship with after my last break up!

[Lucy3]

These girls are probably online daters, any girl on a dating site can get a date pretty quick!

[shikashika]

This isn't true for me and never has been. Is this just from your personal experience and the girls you've been with?

[Blue Spiral]

I've never known a woman that hasn't kept a diverse and promising selection of men orbiting around her. She uses them for attention or other things when she's taken, and she uses them for boyfriend candidates when she's single. I've known a lot of guys that have been single for a while, and have no women around...but I've never known a woman that's been single for a while, but hasn't had several options to choose from.

[radiohead20]

I've never known a woman that hasn't kept a diverse and promising selection of men orbiting around her. She uses them for attention or other things when she's taken, and she uses them for boyfriend candidates when she's single. I've known a lot of guys that have been single for a while, and have no women around...but I've never known a woman that's been single for a while, but hasn't had several options to choose from.

 

 

This.

 

To those that have responded and said "I am not like this, or this has not happened", are you reffering to you wanting to date the guys as a condition. Maybe I phrased it wrong but what I meant was that most girls ALWAYS have a pool of men interested in dating them (and usually at least one of these guys the girl would date) but the reverse is definetly not true. Or maybe it is and women just don't make it known they like a guy as much.

 

I can maybe only think of around 5-6 out of a pool of 20-30 that I have known for a few years that have NOT had any options after she was single. the commonality among those 5-6 was suprisingly not looks (you would think) but a seriously personality flaw.

[blueidealist24]

That isn't true. You can easily find someone who wants to bang you, yeah, but it IS difficult to find someone to have something meaningful with.

 

Maybe the women you know have low standards, so they'll just start hooking up with ANYONE after a breakup. Maybe it looks like it's meaningful from the outside but it's really not. If they look like they have someone "lined up", maybe they did, maybe they started looking for another guy while still in the previous relationship because they were thinking it was going to be over soon. I wouldn't do that, since I don't mind being single for periods of time, but some girls seem to not be able to stand being out of a dating situation..

[Lucy3]

Maybe I phrased it wrong but what I meant was that most girls ALWAYS have a pool of men interested in dating them (and usually at least one of these guys the girl would date) but the reverse is definetly not true..

 

That is ridiculous, if this was the case then almost the whole of the female population would always be in a relationship and never single.

[radiohead20]

That is ridiculous, if this was the case then almost the whole of the female population would always be in a relationship and never single.

 

this is the case with most of my female friends at least. And yes girls sometimes like being single and CHOOSE not to be involved seriously with someone. I would suffice to say that if a girl has these qualities down: ready to settle down, has a social circle and is not isolated, does not have severe personality flaws she can find commitment very easily.

[goodfoot]

That is ridiculous, if this was the case then almost the whole of the female population would always be in a relationship and never single.

 

It seems that way sometimes, lol

[blueidealist24]

This.

 

To those that have responded and said "I am not like this, or this has not happened", are you reffering to you wanting to date the guys as a condition. Maybe I phrased it wrong but what I meant was that most girls ALWAYS have a pool of men interested in dating them (and usually at least one of these guys the girl would date) but the reverse is definetly not true. Or maybe it is and women just don't make it known they like a guy as much.

 

I can maybe only think of around 5-6 out of a pool of 20-30 that I have known for a few years that have NOT had any options after she was single. the commonality among those 5-6 was suprisingly not looks (you would think) but a seriously personality flaw.

 

I would say that I can find someone who wants to go on a date with me, or have sex wth me, but when it comes to a committed relationship, I still find that hard to find at anytime, whether I just stopped dating someone else or have been single for a long time. Maybe I have a severe personality flaw..

[gluestick]

I would say that I can find someone who wants to go on a date with me, or have sex wth me, but when it comes to a committed relationship, I still find that hard to find at anytime, whether I just stopped dating someone else or have been single for a long time. Maybe I have a severe personality flaw..

 

No, it's just hard to find someone you click with at the same time as being compatible with. Or else, you'd be in a relationship with the rest of the 7 billion people in the world.

[FYI]

Most attractive women know that when they leave the house that someone is going to hit on them.

 

There are men at their places of employment. Men who catch the same bus route to and from work. Men here, men there. If she's attractive, they're going to look and they're going to show her a whole lot of attention at which some will try their luck and approach. It's that easy, so they don't really have to go out looking for no man; men come looking for them. And out of the batch, most probably get rejected and very few wind us as friends or are selected to date. So when that doesn't workout, there's always someone else interested in them. Someone else glad to be a rebound, to be seen with her, just to have sex. Someone just glad to be around. Whatever the intrigue, the bottom line is that there is always someone readily available to them and they knowthat and of course some of them take full advantage of that while it's there. Some women do not entertain that, but most women usually do.

[Thorshammer]

You also have to keep in mind, like i said, women get hunted, but that didnt start when they were taken. You did beat other suitors, and you did continue to beat them as you kept her. They were there before you, maybe all the way through grade school. I would find it very suspicious if she jumps with another one so soon. They can be chased and it can be routine through the years, but for someone to slip through and get into her life and work his magic when shes with you- means this guy got a free pass and slipped through, when otherwise it was supposed to be a monday and 2 guys at work were flirting with her and she shrugged it off, like she has been doing for years.

 

But, dont get it twisted. Men fall in this category too. There are women who stare, who dont care you have a gf, and who flirt aggressively everywhere. Its just no where near the numbers women experience because many women are conservative. Actually, in my experience, and from what i have seen, more attractive women are the ones approaching men, while women have to deal with a larger number of less attractive men trying to hit on them.

[itsallgrand]

I've never known a woman that hasn't kept a diverse and promising selection of men orbiting around her. She uses them for attention or other things when she's taken, and she uses them for boyfriend candidates when she's single. I've known a lot of guys that have been single for a while, and have no women around...but I've never known a woman that's been single for a while, but hasn't had several options to choose from.

 

You make it sound like women have to manipulate the situation to have men show attention, give interest, or generally seek women out.

 

The truth is a lot more basic. Even when sending out negative energies, and not cleaning ourselves out, men tend to gravitate to women.

 

There is a difference, a huge difference, in this reality (for many women) and the situation you describe where a woman actively seeks to manipulate the situation and has men "lined up" or is milking certain men for attention or emotional tampon situations. lol.

 

There certainly are women like that. And there are also men like that - always keeping women around him, and actively seeks to manipulate the situation in order to have multiple women there as his needs dictate.

 

Any reasonably attractive person can do this. It isn't even a gender thing. It's a "I can't stand not getting attention and being alone" thing.

[Ms Darcy]

I like how a man can tell women what their experiences are ... even when some say it is not true. Perhaps what you observe says more about who you associate with than women in general. Gasp.

[Moontiger]

This.

 

To those that have responded and said "I am not like this, or this has not happened", are you reffering to you wanting to date the guys as a condition. Maybe I phrased it wrong but what I meant was that most girls ALWAYS have a pool of men interested in dating them (and usually at least one of these guys the girl would date) but the reverse is definetly not true. Or maybe it is and women just don't make it known they like a guy as much.

 

I can maybe only think of around 5-6 out of a pool of 20-30 that I have known for a few years that have NOT had any options after she was single. the commonality among those 5-6 was suprisingly not looks (you would think) but a seriously personality flaw.

 

I think ENA is proof all on its own that this isn't true.

[Moontiger]

Agreed. If there is even a grain of truth in this theory it seems to me men are the ones lining themselves up (not woman lining them up). I wonder why some men always blame women for their problems in dating, guys if a woman have a boyfriend, shows no interest in you, only uses you for things MOVE ON. You have no one to blame but yourselves if you end up wasting a lot of time. Just like a woman has no one to blame but herself if she stays with a guy who constantly cheats on her.

[FYI]

Agreed. If there is even a grain of truth in this theory it seems to me men are the ones lining themselves up (not woman lining them up). I wonder why some men always blame women for their problems in dating, guys if a woman have a boyfriend, shows no interest in you, only uses you for things MOVE ON. You have no one to blame but yourselves if you end up wasting a lot of time. Just like a woman has no one to blame but herself if she stays with a guy who constantly cheats on her.

 

Applicable to all.