Girls always have another guy easily lined up?

[Wayfara]

Why does it always seem that after a relationship has ended, that a girl always has a available pool of guys to choose from that like her and usually has one "lined up" if she chooses?

I would think the girls you are exposed to probably have many male acquaintances, finding someone quickly usually is a numbers game combined with not being picky. As to why some guys line themselves up like that to girls I would guess it's for the same reason the serial monogamists girls would want to date them, they don't like being single.

 

what I meant was that most girls ALWAYS have a pool of men interested in dating them (and usually at least one of these guys the girl would date) but the reverse is definetly not true. Or maybe it is and women just don't make it known they like a guy as much.

 

When I'm interested I make it known but I'm not interested taken guys and they becoming single doesn’t suddenly make me romantically into them, there has to be something leading up to it.

 

I would suffice to say that if a girl has these qualities down: ready to settle down, has a social circle and is not isolated, does not have severe personality flaws she can find commitment very easily.

 

If she wants to settle for a guy who lines up for newly single girls that is. I have had guys interested after I ended a relationship but normally it's the type of guy who would jump any available female. I like my partner to be selective with who they want a relationship with so even if there would have been a hundred interested men knocking on my door the day of my breakup it wouldn't have mattered, I wouldn't have found any of them attractive anyway.

[Blue Spiral]

That isn't true. You can easily find someone who wants to bang you,

 

Men can't, unfortunately. If we could, I doubt that any men would be posting on ENA.

[wsim]

To put it bluntly, it generally would be much easier for a women to find a relationship, since guys usually have to do all of the pursuing. As long as the girl displays confidence, has an acceptable personality and is at least average in looks, there normally is no problem having guys interested.

 

On the other hand, guys have to do almost everything right, for a girl to say yes. Women hold the key and power to relationships, it is the way society works.

 

If you are a guy in your mid or later 20s (or older) and have no success with women or any dating experience, the odds are highly stacked against you. For myself, I have a university degree, decent job, good amount of money and savings, treat others with respect and can't get any women attracted to me, even if I paid them. There are some instances for guys where you can do all that you can and it may still not yield anything.

[Blue92]

I've seen guys do this too. I think it depends on the person it is and how they handle breakups and being single. Some people just can't stand to be alone so they constantly jump from one person to the next.

[Lost in Thought]

If the female is rather attractive and on the younger side, has a routine where she will interact or have a lot of males around her, then yes girls will easily have a large pool of guys to pick and choose from after her break-up.

 

Unless a guy is extremely good-looking, wealthy, famous, or charismatic, males generally have a longer time to find a female.

 

Asking this question is sort of a touchy subject for females. No one likes to admit they aren't attractive enough to have a small following of men after them. This is not meant to be offensive at all.

[Lost in Thought]

 

If you are a guy in your mid or later 20s (or older) and have no success with women or any dating experience, the odds are highly stacked against you. For myself, I have a university degree, decent job, good amount of money and savings, treat others with respect and can't get any women attracted to me, even if I paid them. There are some instances for guys where you can do all that you can and it may still not yield anything.

 

I find it so sad you feel this way. I had the best years of my life in my late 20's to early 30's dating women. And I didn't even have a good career!

 

Definitely a late bloomer and shy as hell when it came to women. Now I look back and laugh at how shy I was.

 

Don't let life pass you by. Especially since you have a good career. Workout, dress well, and you should have a choice in who you end up with.

[Wayfara]

If the female is rather attractive and on the younger side, has a routine where she will interact or have a lot of males around her, then yes girls will easily have a large pool of guys to pick and choose from after her break-up.

 

Unless a guy is extremely good-looking, wealthy, famous, or charismatic, males generally have a longer time to find a female.

 

Many women aren't interested in guys who would hit on anybody, I'm one of those, so what good would it do then having a guy like that interested? Not everyone find the desperate type hot, it's like a straight having a gay guy interested, it doesn't help him getting a relationship unless he is desperate and willing to settle for someone he isn't attracted to.

[Lost in Thought]

Many women aren't interested in guys who would hit on anybody, I'm one of those, so what good would it do then having a guy like that interested? Not everyone find the desperate type hot, it's like a straight having a gay guy interested, it doesn't help him getting a relationship unless he is desperate and willing to settle for someone he isn't attracted to.

 

Well I never said all the guys would be quality material, it just would be a larger selection pool to choose from. All anyone needs is one right person, and the larger pool to choose from helps the odds of finding the right person. Your comparison is a very poor choice, but I understand what you are trying to say.

[Wayfara]

Well I never said all the guys would be quality material, it just would be a larger selection pool to choose from. All anyone needs is one right person, and the larger pool to choose from helps the odds of finding the right person. Your comparison is a very poor choice, but I understand what you are trying to say.

 

If they are the type guy who lines up to newly single girls attraction will never happen and then it doesn't how many they are, just as it doesn't matter for a straight guy how large pool of gay guys he has interested in him. The very fact that they are so desperate that they would hit on practically any female makes them not quality material so the right one will never be in that pool. The only ones who actually benifit from having these guys hitting on them are the girls who feel desperation is attractive, maybe because they also are desperate and recognize the kindred souls.

[Capricorn3]

This has never been true for me or any of my female friends. We all tend to spend a long period of time between relationships. Might just be the people you know.

I was thinking the same thing.

[FYI]

Some people are just late bloomers when it comes to romance. Age like fine wine, get better in time. Sometimes that's the case.

[imsuperman]

Unortunately, in the age group I'm looking to date (20-23), I have found the OP's staement to be true. Attractive/desirable women are almost never single. They simply jump from relationship to relationship. Like someone else said, once they know the next guy's ready to go, they dump their boyfriend and move onto the next. It is indeed a touchy subject for women, but I'm not saying it because I have some vendetta against women, but just because it's based on fact that I've seen in my own life.

 

What happens is if she is taken but sees you have potential, she will never mention a boyfriend around you, or only mention him like once. Over the spring we got a new hire at my work, and he said, "I like Girl A(who we worked with), but all she does is talk about her boyfriend." I thought, that's strange, I didn't know she had one. (This guy's mistake is that he comes on too strong, asking if they have a boyfriend, which I've always advised against) Like Thorshammer said, she won't show you much in the manner of being overly flirtatious, because she wants to guard against word getting out of her actively pursuing another man, because people could start calling her nasty names then, and her reputation could be damaged.

 

I should have been a rebound for a gorgeous girl about a year ago, but I didn't want to be. She was heading back to school in a few weeks, and I thought since school was where her ex was, it wasn't worth it for me to try anything with her, because I figured they'd just get back together. I tried to add her as a friend her on Facebook about three weeks ago, and she blocked me.

 

If you want to date attractive women, you can't worry about being a rebound. That's just a risk you have to take.

[ratbastard]

It is like women do not have to worry about not finding someone, even someone that they can develop something meaningful with

 

This must mean I'm not a real woman.

[Moontiger]

This must mean I'm not a real woman.

 

Me too. As far as I know I have never head men lined up as back-up plans, I have spent more time then I care to admit worrying about being alone for my whole life, and spend an average of 2 years between each serious relationship I have (that means I'll go on one or two dates, usually after about a year of being single and then realize I'm not ready to date yet).

 

It continues to amaze me that men seem to think they have woman completely figured out (usually in a bad way) then when woman on this site say, "Actually, that's not true. For must of us X, Y, Z, is true." Then the men get angry and argue that we don't know what we are talking about.

[imsuperman]

Me too. As far as I know I have never head men lined up as back-up plans, I have spent more time then I care to admit worrying about being alone for my whole life, and spend an average of 2 years between each serious relationship I have (that means I'll go on one or two dates, usually after about a year of being single and then realize I'm not ready to date yet).

 

It continues to amaze me that men seem to think they have woman completely figured out (usually in a bad way) then when woman on this site say, "Actually, that's not true. For must of us X, Y, Z, is true." Then the men get angry and argue that we don't know what we are talking about.

 

Well I mean for me personally, all I can do is speak from experience. If I was super attractive, and the "Rules" dictated that women had to pursue/ask, I would maybe do the same thing, I don't know. Jonty and I were discussing this recently, and he said he's known a girl for eight years, and she's basically never been single in that time, yet she has had different boyfriends.

 

Nothing happens 100% of the time, but I'm saying from what I've seen, it DOES happen.

 

Ideally, with those women that take a long time off between dates, it improves the value of your new relationships, because you're truly ready to try to make it work and not just in it to "have someone."

 

But I don't really know, cuz I'm not a woman.

[Moontiger]

And yet I don't know one woman who does what your are talking about. I did know a few guy who were never single (mostly back in college). So, using the logic of this thread, it is true that men are never single and always have woman lined up to date them. This is probably because woman are expected to wait around and be "hunted".

 

How does that logic work?

[imsuperman]

I'm still trying to pinpoint where I generalized, especially after this post makes the third time where I've said I'm not generalizing.

 

But if we are generalizing...

 

Are you saying that no woman has ever done this...in all of human history?

 

Just because we've seen different things and had different experiences doesn't mean anything is absolute.

 

If I said, "Passenger airplanes do not exist because I have not ridden in one," does that mean they really don't exist...at all? Ever???

 

Maybe I missed someone's post or something, but again I don't really see "every woman does this" anywhere.

[Moontiger]

I was not speaking to your post in particular, just the general attitude of the thread, "I have seen woman do this therefore it must be true for 90% of them." I was pointing out how illogical that think is.

[imsuperman]

Oh ok, yeah.

 

It's not a very high percentage at all. In my experience, it's usually the ones that are young and very attractive, so it does kind of suck for us single guys in that respect. But only a certain percentage of those women do it, so it's not by any means the vast majority, quite the opposite.

[Moontiger]

Oh ok, yeah.

 

It's not a very high percentage at all. In my experience, it's usually the ones that are young and very attractive, so it does kind of suck for us single guys in that respect. But only a certain percentage of those women do it, so it's not by any means the vast majority, quite the opposite.

 

But, see, this is a huge generalization too! You are now implying that me and all other woman who don't do this must not be physically attractive. Either a woman can be hot and morally bankrupt or unattractive (read: undesirable) and therefore simple cannot be picky enough to be morally bankrupt.

 

Really not trying to argue here

 

I enjoy a good debate.

[imsuperman]

Oh I enjoy the debate too!

 

But again, this is just in my own personal experience. You could be completely hot, I don't know, lol. By saying "only a certain percentage of those women do it," I was attempting to explain that I understood that not all attractive women do it. So no, just because you don't do it, doesn't mean you're not physically attractive.

 

In fact, that would be fantastic, because that's rare where I live amongst the women I'm attracted to.

 

I'll keep my eye out.

[ApocalypseDreams]

It continues to amaze me that men seem to think they have woman completely figured out (usually in a bad way) then when woman on this site say, "Actually, that's not true. For must of us X, Y, Z, is true." Then the men get angry and argue that we don't know what we are talking about.

 

I've seen examples of females on the forum doing this too. It happens whenever gender stereotypes are made. It sucks.

 

One female poster created a thread about whether or not male friends are just looking to get into a girls pants. She had plenty of male posters saying they have purely platonic friendships with females (including me), but it didn't suit her preconcieved idea. Instead of taking it onboard, she cherrypicked the minority of comments saying males only become friends with females for sex and claimed the rest of us (the majority) were liars.

 

I don't think people realise that the bitter and twisted views that they hold about the opposite gender actually damage their chances of finding a partner. No healthy minded person wants to be with someone who has bitter feelings towards their gender.

[Lost in Thought]

But, see, this is a huge generalization too! You are now implying that me and all other woman who don't do this must not be physically attractive.

 

If some of the female posters here don't have men lined up, they are probably not that physically attractive. Or there's also the slim chance the females have a lifestyle where there's hardly any contact with men. A good-looking girl will always have options, of course it doesn't mean that they are quality men.

 

I don't think I'm being offensive. I know I'm not attractive enough to be called handsome. I've had GF's, women compliment on my looks, but nowhere near the numbers to qualify being handsome. And I'm totally fine with that.

[Wayfara]

If some of the female posters here don't have men lined up, they are probably not that physically attractive. Or there's also the slim chance the females have a lifestyle where there's hardly any contact with men.

 

I am exposed to many men in my life but there are many women that are not. I know women who have hardly ever had any man hit on them (not counting cat calls from strangers), they don't have much contact with men in the daily life and there are actually many women like that. I will also say that to have guys lining up to you you need to be in contact with the right sort of men for it to happen, desperate guys who have the habit of jumping the newly single girls. A woman who have male friends but doesn't not associate with desperate men won't have that happen either unless she is lining her male friends up with purpose.

 

As a woman I will also say how much you get hit on depends a lot on your lifestyle and how comfortable you are around the opposite sex, when I was partying a lot I got hit on a lot, this summer I have been taking it easy and I haven't been hit on at all (again not counting cat calls from strangers). I have a very pretty friend who almost never gets hit on, she goes and hides in corner looking angry when men comes, men wouldn't dare to approach her even if they would want to.

 

I think men mostly see the party girls and the girls with many male friends, the category of women who are the most exposed to men, and of course these women are more prone to have some men interested in some fun after a breakup. Men don't see the other side as much, the girls who don't party and mostly hang out with other girls, and this category of women is quite big and I haven't seen any lines of guys lining up to them after a breakup.

 

A good-looking girl will always have options, of course it doesn't mean that they are quality men.

 

It is only an option if you could see yourself with that type of man, I don't so it's not an option. It might be available as choice but if you find that type disgusting it won't even be taken into consideration as there are so many better choices, like being forever single if it would come to that, no sane person would deliberately take a choice that would make them hate themselves. It is an option only to the girls who like that type of men or who are so afraid of being alone that they would take anything.

[Maeva28]

Honestly, it is pretty easy for women to meet guys. But it doesn't mean those guys are interesting!

 

The minute I was single on Facebook, I received 3-4 messages from 'old friends' asking me for drinks, or telling me they'd 'be there if I needed to talk' (...right!). I didn't have any men 'lined up' because I had no interest in them, but if I wanted a relationship at that time, it would have been very easy to be in one. But I'd rather be with someone I actually care about.

 

I'm sort of seeing someone right now and don't have time (or desire) to meet other men, but if it doesn't work out, I would have some other 'options'. I'm NOT interested in those options at the moment (and maybe never will) but let's say I was looking for a rebound, I could find one easily. I think Facebook made all of this way too easy... That and the text messages!