Established Men Pay $$$ For Women

[WhenWillILove]

 

You go out with a fart because he has cash, you will be sad.. you go out with a fart because hes sexy, you will be sad. They are traits that open doors imo.

 

Why is there sadness involved? I'm sure these women have self-esteem issues but I doubt there's sadness when she's swiping his credit card.

[RedDress]

Are these relationships really that unbalanced? (yes, I agree there is sex involved). I dunno... I agree that a lot of women will throw themselves at a rich man... but will they stay (if they are not gold diggers)?

 

I think we have a tendency to glorify the lifestyle. They get to go shopping, they have a lot of things... but what about, yanno, a relationship? If the guy is working and travelling 24/7.. you basically never see him. I know that lately I have been seeing my bf a bit rarely due to circumstances... and it can be lonely? And can you imagine? These women are all hot but if their bf is never around, they are rarely getting their sexual needs met.

 

So... they're never with their "love", they have to stay hot, they aren't getting their sexual needs met and when they do - it's with an old dude.

 

But old dude would have a hard time holding onto a relationship in the real world because he's never around. So what are his other options? Stay single?

 

I propose that they are well-matched and alike. They BOTH prioritize money over relationships - him by working and her by choosing a partner who is unavailable but has the money.

 

If you want love, you have to make the time for love.

 

It wouldn't be my choice, but people all around the world marry for reasons other than love. That's really a "western" idea...

[lavenderdove]

The guy i know who married a rich woman, the money and toys worked... for a while! He had a great time for a few years, then started drinking too much because he was bored with the woman and had no real emotional connection to her, but he sure loved the toys!

 

He's still with her, but looking for relief from the boredom and emotional connections on the side with other women... This is a very common arc for golddiggers, where at first they just revel and roll in the money and toys and love it, but start to feel hollow after awhile and go sniffing around on the side looking for ways to fill the hollow spots that the money and/or the rich man can't for them.

 

People can and do make it work though, at least for a while. And some people do prioritize money and toys over deep emotional connections to others...

[The_Seeker]

Thanks lavenderdove for explaining that. Hence why I'm going to make sure I take my time in dating. You save me a lot of trouble!

[90_hour_sleep]

i agree...sometimes it's about different priorities. a practical arrangement between two people who each enjoy a perceived benefit. certainly not limited to the wealthy.

 

but sometimes it's just the curse of excess. money in excess is rarely a blessing. most of us have been bred to believe our salvation lies in 'just a little more'. so many people struggle to find a quality relationship (depends very little on external circumstances...most people are chasing after this). throw into the mix the added issue of someone chasing after you based on what you have as opposed to what you are, and you have a recipe for frustration. it's one more variable to complicate things.

[Mercurial Girl]

I had a "sugar daddy". Nothing sexual, nor romantic really. Just fun. He really was a fun person to be around. He worked a lot and was also a bit....awkward with the ladies. He was a bit aloof and this probably turned off the women who he approached but if you took time to get to know him he got more comfortable and was a blast. We got together for coffee one day and ended up chatting for hours. If I didn't really enjoy his company I wouldn't have spent time with him, no matter the money.

 

He didn't drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on me but he did treat me to a much too many gifts and gave me money. He really liked making me happy, he'd go crazy over my smile.

 

A bit odd sure, but it was a sweet friendship in a strange sense. He really was a nice guy and seemed to just want to share his wealth but didn't seem to have the skills or confidence to court a woman in the sense of a traditional relationship, but he definitely was lonely and wanted to make someone happy.

 

I didn't really over think it, I just went with it. I wonder how he's doing sometimes.

[The_Seeker]

How old was he? LOL

[Mercurial Girl]

How old was he? LOL

 

Late 30's.

[The_Seeker]

Late 30's.

 

Oh wow. Do you know if you were the only one giving that much of attention?

[Mercurial Girl]

Oh wow. Do you know if you were the only one giving that much of attention?

 

I don't know, wasn't really any of my business anyway. I don't imagine so but who knows? It's not like it was ever meant to be n exclusive relationship, so it didn't matter.

[WhenWillILove]

How long did it last for? What kind of gifts did you get?

[Mercurial Girl]

The stereotypical stuff...jewellery, clothing, spending money, some class books paid for, dinners, once paid for my dogs grooming and emerg vet bill, car maintenance. We hung out for 9 months or so. There was nothing incredibly extravagant, he tried often to spend much too much money but I felt too bad accepting really high ticket items haha

[poetryandlyrics]

I had a former friend who told me that she wouldn't mind a sugar daddy, and did not say that the sex act would be included, but would be open to it. She was in process of getting one until she met her boyfriend and dropped him. She's the dependent sort and needs to feel self worth, I suppose. I cannot say the same for everyone that has one for I do not know them as well as I knew her. For me, I wouldn't. It's a nice thought, I wouldn't lie, but I hate to feel dependent and I'm definitely not selling myself in sex. I'd probably end up being cranky or withdrawing if I had to because being dependent is like giving yourself and your space and your needs to the sugar daddy, and that would make me to withdraw for my much needed space and independence. It's not for me. I don't understand the whole idea as well, but they're just consenting adults. Their life. If that's a mistake, it's their mistake. If they're ones of those that are happy and can make it work, then good for them.

 

But as for someone who mentioned dating someone within the same generation (just that simple statement, no referring to sugar daddies) -- that's a whole different topic and is not in accord with this.

[Thorshammer]

Why is there sadness involved? I'm sure these women have self-esteem issues but I doubt there's sadness when she's swiping his credit card.

 

I worded that messed up.

 

What i mean to say is...

If she goes out with a guy only for his money, and he has nothing else to add besides being a fart... she will be in a sad or bad or unfulfilled relationship (I am referring to women who are genuinely attracted to powerful men, not the materialistic ones who only see material objects and not the person). And if she goes out with mr. sexy who is a fart, maybe she will get turned on a bit more, but if he has nothing else to add, she might be in a sad relationship. There are a bunch of other traits that create a lasting relationship. I have read here, heard, and been in, sad/bad/unfulfilled relationships, that lacked substance, only for me to open my eyes with the next one.

[Lonewing]

Lots of assumptions in this thread...

 

I know many relationships like this. I also know of relationships where money and beauty were the main commodities. She stayed with him as long as he has money and he stays with her as long as she's beautiful and puts out. Their relationship wasn't cold other than that. They knew they weren't in love and weren't looking. They were satisfied with what they had and genuinely had a friendship, cared about each other.

 

It's not like prostitution.

 

You assume prostitution is just a Money for Sex exchange...which again, is not necessarily true.

 

I once heard of a woman by way of an associate who's mother marreid three times, each time for money - she married hte first, out lived him and took his pention, married agian, outlived him and took his pension, did it a third time, and...well, she dies. And she left each of her children close to a million dollars each...

 

You tell me she didn't die emotionally fulfilled, because it sounds to me like she got precisely what she wanted out of life...

[The_Seeker]

You assume prostitution is just a Money for Sex exchange...which again, is not necessarily true.

 

I remembered reading an article about Prostitution in Holland.

 

Some guys just go there for emotional comfort. Just wanting a woman to listen for a "moment."

 

I think if the guy is rich but not very attractive, he wouldn't want to waste his heart on someone who wants him in case if it's just his money. So he goes spend it on some beauty who will appreciate him "for that moment." And also it's a chance he won't have to commit to just one beauty, but variety of beauty. Even if it is without sex. Though rare.

 

I know I'm assuming. From my understanding, that's how some "prostitution" are.

[Lonewing]

I remembered reading an article about Prostitution in Holland.

 

Some guys just go there for emotional comfort. Just wanting a woman to listen for a "moment."

 

I think if the guy is rich but not very attractive, he wouldn't want to waste his heart on someone who wants him in case if it's just his money. So he goes spend it on some beauty who will appreciate him "for that moment." And also it's a chance he won't have to commit to just one beauty, but variety of beauty. Even if it is without sex. Though rare.

 

I know I'm assuming. From my understanding, that's how some "prostitution" are.

 

I think yo've got it, thoguh. The thing about sex is that it is not just a physical act, it's also emotional, mental, spiritual, and so forth.

 

Now you may have a wealthy perosn who is simply tired of playing the "do they really love me, or are they just with me for my money" game. Thus, they have turned to prostitution because it's ll upfront - I'm paying you a specific sum of money so that you spend a specific amount of time with me doing a specific lists of acts. It removes all the romance from it, which may be repugnant to some, but it makes much sense.

 

Here in the states you see people truning to call lines, stripper clubs and even escorts. As an associate raved to me once, "screw getting a girlfriends and dealing with all that bull. Get an escort - she does exactly what you want, you get exactly what you want, she gets what she wants, there's no beatin around the bush or any psychlogocial mind games to play, and you go home happy."

 

I recogize the wisdom...but at this point in my life I'm not ready to surrender to that mindset. Another decade like the previous two decades and I suppose I won't care so much anymore. The present conservative values only suit those who get everything under those values. For the rest of us, those values bar us from enjoying those same very things. We're not all so lucky as them.

[pinkelephant]

You assume prostitution is just a Money for Sex exchange...which again, is not necessarily true.

 

I once heard of a woman by way of an associate who's mother marreid three times, each time for money - she married hte first, out lived him and took his pention, married agian, outlived him and took his pension, did it a third time, and...well, she dies. And she left each of her children close to a million dollars each...

 

You tell me she didn't die emotionally fulfilled, because it sounds to me like she got precisely what she wanted out of life...

 

Ya, I know what prostitution means, but I was using it in a strict money for sex deal because that's what the thread is harping on.

[The_Seeker]

Finally we agree on something!

 

Neither am I. I feel that if I get old and I have money, I'll probably turn to male prostitute who is very attractive. I just want his time, and therapeutic skills to make me realize what an amazing person I am. ;] Ego-booster. Ha ha!

 

Anyway going back to the point of the thread,

 

Some rich men like to see how many attractive women they can get in their life. It's all about conquest and ego-booster. I probably turn like them in one of the futures over the age of 30 if I don't have a family of my own, or have a man in my life. If Mr.Husband Material is still single at the age of 44, I'm proposing to him. Ha ha he knows who he is.

[Blue Spiral]

I'd definitely like to have a kept woman--or, preferably, an entire harem of them. I don't have the necessary skills to get or sustain a conventional relationship, and even when I did blunder into them, I didn't particularly enjoy them. It seems like a lot of work. I liked the sex part; the rest, not so much. Obviously, I wouldn't marry them (should've had a better prenup, Tiger). I don't think I'd live with them, either, as I like solitude too much. But if I somehow got a billion dollars tomorrow, I'd set them up in apartments and visit one a night. In my rural-ish area, I think their asking prices would be pretty low.

 

It's easy to get bogged down in social issues and gender issues on this topic, but I think the key is that the arrangement is clear and up-front. Both parties know what they want and what they'll get. I'm not very good at guessing what women want me to do, or what they expect from me...I'd much rather have them tell me bluntly. (As an added bonus, this lets one compartmentalize sex, instead of having sex complicate their life. You have your regular life out here, and your sex life in a box you can put back on the shelf when you're done. For those of us who are emotionless and pragmatic, it has appeal.)