Cooper1607308758 Posted May 29, 2012 Author Share Posted May 29, 2012 Haha the 10 miles wasn't too bad! It too about 5 or 6 hours but we made it! It was really hot over here in NY too - mid 80's Funny how I posted here last night and what do you know...an email from my ex in my inbox. The wedding hall sent her a check in my name and she cannot cash it. She needs me to meet up with her to sign it or for me to cash it for her and write her a new check. I chose the later and told her to mail me the check. As for the watches I think I will just use them to fund my new watch for the new me. Im no watch freak but they certainly are a good accessory in the professional world! One of them is very sentimental as she bought it for me for my college graduation and I always would look at it and think I can't wait to look at this watch in 20 years and tell it's story. That won't be happening! Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Cooper, read through this thread and I have to say, you are doing remarkably well. So level-headed, grounded and optimistic despite what you've gone/are going through. Really admirable. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 30, 2012 Author Share Posted May 30, 2012 Thanks Cheetarah! Her email definitely felt like a scab pick to me, but I am trying to just cruise along. There really isn't much you can do when someone says "I love you, but Im not in love with you." May the only thing you can do is laugh because it is the most cliche line ever? Haha I dunno! Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 Just wanted to post that today was a hard day mentally. I could not and cannot remove her from my mind. Just using here to vent it out! I was out all day with one of my friends and all I thought about was her it was terrible. Link to comment
wilyone 11 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Just wanted to post that today was a hard day mentally. I could not and cannot remove her from my mind. Just using here to vent it out! I was out all day with one of my friends and all I thought about was her it was terrible. Yeah, I hate it when I can't stop thinking of someone. I feel guilty for being bad company to the people around me too. The only thing that works for me is to become completely engrossed in a project that requires all of my focus and concentration. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 Is it wrong that i day dream about writing f--k you on the check in big bold sharpie and mailing it back uncashed?? I have this crazy urge to be super mean right now. Anger stage??? Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 haha, don't do that!! go and cash that check soon! Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 hahah I know annie It's like i have a devil and angel on my shoulders right now. I guess I feel like I want to make her upset now or something. It is a strange feeling I have had today. Especially when I glance at her hand writing on the envelope. Like what was she thinking or feeling when she was addressing it to me. blehh! Link to comment
Lonewing Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Sir..there is no need to gloat in your victory!! Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 5, 2012 Author Share Posted June 5, 2012 Sir..there is no need to gloat in your victory!! that made me laugh but I dont know what it means! Link to comment
Lonewing Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 gloat/glōt/Verb: Contemplate or dwell on one's own success or another's misfortune with malignant pleasure: "his enemies gloated over his death". Basically throwing her money back in her face would be a spiteful move, where you're basically saying you only went through all that trouble to prove a point and you beat her. It's your money, you jsut needto accept it and move on with your life, making step one no longer considering how you will deal with her in your life. You mgiht use itto end the lease early or whatever provisions you can do to change your situation. But after everything that she as done and how her MOM behaves, Consequences need to stick for either mother or daughter to learn anything from this. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 7, 2012 Author Share Posted June 7, 2012 Basically throwing her money back in her face would be a spiteful move, where you're basically saying you only went through all that trouble to prove a point and you beat her. It's your money, you jsut needto accept it and move on with your life, making step one no longer considering how you will deal with her in your life. You mgiht use itto end the lease early or whatever provisions you can do to change your situation. But after everything that she as done and how her MOM behaves, Consequences need to stick for either mother or daughter to learn anything from this. I dont get the Mom part.....wrong thread???? Link to comment
Lonewing Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Haha - oops, sorry, yes indeed, Wrong Thread!! they all seem to be blurring together, anymore! Sorry about that... Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 haha! No worries Lonewing. I can easily see the blurring happening. I have no new updates except when I contacted her about giving the money to her parents as I do not have any checks, she told me she may go backpacking in New Zealand for a few months. I just dont get it! Its like leaving me didn't phase her one bit. Oh well - what can you do though! Im gonna drop the money to her parents whenever it stops raining so I can ride my streetbike there Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 I woke up today with a major urge to ask her out on a date. I know theoreticallyshe would ask me out if she wanted to do something like that. Do you think it would be a good idea or am I just a fool?? Link to comment
2bcome1 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 You've changed your tune cooper. A few days ago you wanted to write * * * * you on her check and now you want to ask her out! Make up your mind man. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Haha I certainly have I won't lie. Of course it may change back the other way as well. I think it may have to do with dreaming about her last night or something. I dunno! I do appreciate the kick in the butt tho. it brought me back to reality Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I woke up today with a major urge to ask her out on a date. I know theoreticallyshe would ask me out if she wanted to do something like that. Do you think it would be a good idea or am I just a fool?? I think it's only normal you miss her from time to time. You were together for a long time. But I really would not ask her out or try to get back with her. She broke things off in a big way. Time to move forward. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Yea so I imagine its not even worth a shot really as it wasn't my decision from the get go. It definatrly stems from missing her as a person and her input and opinions. I'm sure I will get shot down so I won't try. Black keys - next girl is my song now Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 hello there! I dropped off the cash to her mom. Got a thank you email from her and she asked to go for coffee or drinks sometime. What should I do? Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Im not in your shoes but it sounds potentially dangerous to me because you might get your hopes up while this is just coffee to her.... Link to comment
donheart Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I know it's my first post here, but I have lurked around and read long enough. If it hasn't crossed your mind or anybody else here, she had relationship with someone at her job, felt guilty, quit the job for feeling guilty, and then felt really guilty and broke up with you. If you can get over the fact that she emotionally tied herself up with someone else for a while, then maybe the lines of communication can open up again. From what I analyzed about what you initially wrote when you were a bit more sane (or in shock still), the puzzle pieces match up about her personality and the events that happened. It seems like it hurts and either of you may never forgive oneself or the other for the hurt that has happened, so breaking up would be the correct response. You seem like a nice guy, I hope she realizes her mid-summer passion with someone else wasn't worth it and talks to you again. The hard question is, can your love for her as a person, that makes huge mistakes, be enough that you can continue to treat her as a normal human and make a relationship. A lot of the time we forget that there are 2 sides to every story and over time we all change. We are humans with different levels of emotions and how we handle the levels of dopamine in our brains can be based on historical environmental factors and some genetics. I'm a bit in a rush to write most of this, since I have to drive out of town for a funeral, but hope my stoic attitude towards this relationship is constructive to any analysis you have already done. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 When this first happened I told her I would never be her friend. I hope she is respecting that. Don thanks for registering and posting on my thread. I don't doubt something like that happened. Even if it was just emotional cheating, something happened. She was always going to quit her job because of her work load and she quit - but is still working there until the end of the summer. I am not sure how the dumpers timeline works because I have never been one. I'ts been around 4 months now and maybe her high is starting to wear off. I have no clue how a second chance would go with us, if it ever even came to that. I have been told by a lot of people that if she came back, I probably wouldn't want to take her back. I have certainly felt like that on some days. I am not sure if I will take her up on drinks or coffee as I don't want to friendzone myself or pick at the scab of healing. Of course part of me wants to meet her and see her. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted June 28, 2012 Author Share Posted June 28, 2012 Just wanted to write a post as I hate when I read through threads and they seem to end with, well, no ending. Nothing has happened although now we have been in limited contact over gchat. We will most likely meet up for coffee or drinks still when we have some free time that is in sync. I obviously have given it thought that I would like to try and start over with her. Who knows if that is a possibility. Does anyone have any ideas that could help in this situation? Is it best to just say F-it! Link to comment
camus154 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Dude, why are you still entertaining this notion of seeing her and getting back together? When a woman breaks off an engagement, that's it. Period. No second chances. That's too big of a thing to call off. This isn't a "let's take a break because we're both young and going away to college and need to find ourselves" kind of thing. This is a "I said I would MARRY YOU and spend the rest of my life with you....and then changed my mind" kind of thing. That's big. That's huge. Fine, people get cold feet and get scared, but most don't actually call the whole thing off. And if they do--you better believe it's because of one very simple, very important reason: THEY DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU. You can't close that kind of door, man. Cut off contact with this woman, wish her well in your heart, and move on. Link to comment
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