DN Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 It must have been emotionally tough to send that. Please keep us updated. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 I got back an: "ok. I understand. Ill get it done as soon as I can." I told her my brother will pick it up and she said she doesn't want to meet up with him so I have to find a way. Then she said "Im sorry this hurts me too." I know her hurt is solely consisting of guilt. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Why didn't she want to meet up with your bro? At any rate - I like the suggestion of picking it up from the jeweler who will remove the stone... Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Why didn't she want to meet up with your bro? At any rate - I like the suggestion of picking it up from the jeweler who will remove the stone... She says she wants to meet with me. I kind of don't want to relieve her guilt by letting her see me or something like that. I cant put my finger on it. Sometimes I think man up and just go do it quit being a pansy and other times I think why should I let her see my face she wanted out of her life so bad? Best bet may be the jeweler... Link to comment
diamond78 Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 She says she wants to meet with me. I kind of don't want to relieve her guilt by letting her see me or something like that. I cant put my finger on it. Sometimes I think man up and just go do it quit being a pansy and other times I think why should I let her see my face she wanted out of her life so bad? Best bet may be the jeweler... Oh yes, go meet with her. Make sure you look and smell dam good to remind her what she's missing out on. I'm just sayin' Be confident and get out of there quickly. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Oh yes, go meet with her. Make sure you look and smell dam good to remind her what she's missing out on. I'm just sayin' Be confident and get out of there quickly. Thanks Diamond. I've already changed my hairstyle up, something madmen-esque, since the last time I saw her months ago. You inspired me to just go and do it, but polite, but stern and fast. I got a text from her saying she has to make an appt to get the diamond out so it won't be tomorrow and she will keep me posted on the process. Figures, when I want to just get it done, it has to be dragged out that much longer. I hope hopeless romantic dreams of keeping the setting and re-proposing to her later in life. I am such a dork and I have to get that out of my head to heal. I've been hitting the bars and stuff in the last week and have no problem talking to girls, but it's just that, they aren't her...sigh... Link to comment
DN Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I think you can tell her that you have both said all that is needed to say and there is no need to meet to get the ring back. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 I think you can tell her that you have both said all that is needed to say and there is no need to meet to get the ring back. do you think the reason she wants to see me is to ease her guilt? I mean in the end i would love to reconcile, but really i know the chances are rare. I do want to make the strongest case for it though. Link to comment
undercover007 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm so sorry Cooper that you're going through this. I too know what it's like to go through a broken engagement. My fiancé of 6 years broke up with me 2 months ago We were engaged for a year and a half but were planning to have a long engagement. Thankfully we didn't really pay for anything cause he kept pushing the date back (that was obviously a sign that he wasn't ready to get married.. or at least not to me). It hurts so much and I know how you are feeling even though you have been with your partner a bit longer. What always confuses me is that how they only realize this after the fact that you've been together for so long... like I feel like if they should of known a long time ago whether they wanted to get engaged or not. I wish my fiancé never proposed to me in the first place.. he would of saved me a lot of pain and heartbreak. The only thing I can tell you is that it is going to be a very rough time but you will get through this. You will have a lot of ups & downs.. there are days where I feel fine and then there are really bad days where reality hits that he's not with me anymore and then I just breakdown and cry and think about all the memories we shared. He was my first love and I was his first gf to meet his mom in Florida and the first to do a lot of things. We traveled to a lot of places too so it makes me sad to think about those times I won't ever understand how they think.. because if you spent so much time with this person, how you can just leave us like this. Anyway, I hope everything works out for the best whether it is with her or not. Who knows.. maybe one day it will hit her and she'll realize she lost a good thing. I have remained no contact with my ex and I recommend you do the same in order to help you heal. Link to comment
DN Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 do you think the reason she wants to see me is to ease her guilt? I mean in the end i would love to reconcile, but really i know the chances are rare. I do want to make the strongest case for it though.I think that she needs to know what it is to lose you and then, if she decides she doesn't want to lose you, she should then be making the case to you as to why you should take her back. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 I think that she needs to know what it is to lose you and then, if she decides she doesn't want to lose you, she should then be making the case to you as to why you should take her back. Do you think the 2 month "break" wasn't enough time to figure that out? Or is she on a honeymoon period with herself so to speak? Link to comment
DN Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 A break is not the same as actually losing someone. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm so sorry Cooper that you're going through this. I too know what it's like to go through a broken engagement. My fiancé of 6 years broke up with me 2 months ago .... Undercover007 I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I don't get how people who were so committed can just bail so fast with no rhyme or reason; especially after LTR's where you think you know the person so well. I hurt every day, colors seem less vivid, things that were once funny to me aren't, but I know one day I will get through it. Stay strong. If you ever need to PM someone in your situation just shoot me a message. I cannot wait to start real NC once I get this ring back. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 A break is not the same as actually losing someone. I never thought of it like that DN, thanks for your insight. I always thought she learned to live without me during that time or something. Soon enough I'll be in NC and well see how the universe unfolds. For now though, I cannot pin over her and must get on with my life. I've been gyming it and my brother even has me learning how to ride a motorcycle to learn a new hobby. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 After getting/picking up this ring whenever she tells me it's ready. How do i initiate NC? Do I say please never talk to me again or something? Or just leave with the ring and that will be the initiation...? Thanks, Cooper. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 After getting/picking up this ring whenever she tells me it's ready. How do i initiate NC? Do I say please never talk to me again or something? Or just leave with the ring and that will be the initiation...? Thanks, Cooper. Precisely. You go no contact by not contacting her...and if she contacts you, giving the most succinct replies if at all. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 Precisely. You go no contact by not contacting her...and if she contacts you, giving the most succinct replies if at all. thanks lonewing. I won't say that I will be going NC I will just get my stuff and then disappear. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 thanks lonewing. I won't say that I will be going NC I will just get my stuff and then disappear. Yep, that's exactly what you do. She'll know exactly why you're not contacting her even if she tries to play clueless. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 Do you think giving her a copy of Oh the Places You'll Go is a silly idea? Perhaps with a note scribbled on the last page. My heart says do it my mind says don't. I work in Children's publishing by the way... Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I wouldn't. I'd just leave it alone. that's a great present for a graduating student.... but not a really great present for an ex who left you. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Do you think giving her a copy of Oh the Places You'll Go is a silly idea? Perhaps with a note scribbled on the last page. My heart says do it my mind says don't. I work in Children's publishing by the way... No, absolutely do not go with that plan. Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 I wouldn't. I'd just leave it alone. that's a great present for a graduating student.... but not a really great present for an ex who left you. No, absolutely do not go with that plan. Haha! Thank you both from saving me from being foolish Link to comment
Lonewing Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 No. Get your stuff and Slip out... Link to comment
Cooper1607308758 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 She just texted me and asked to meet for lunch this weekend. Thankfully I already have plans to head to Atlantic City with a few friends and told her I can't this weekend. Maybe sometime next week. I will decline then. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Have a good time in AC and forget about her! Link to comment
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