chitown9 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 You do realize that the only reason why he will definitely meet with you tomorrow is so he can get his car paid for and not because he actually wants to spend time with you, right?? Girl, if all you want is just a boyfriend....I can find you one real quick and someone who won't run your funds deep into the ground! Anusha!! Please pay attention to the above poster!!!.....chi Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 You do realize that the only reason why he will definitely meet with you tomorrow is so he can get his car paid for and not because he actually wants to spend time with you, right?? Girl, if all you want is just a boyfriend....I can find you one real quick and someone who won't run your funds deep into the ground! I didnt tell him I just would pay if we meet for sure(even though I do felt like saying) but I just got afraid he could see it as blackmail and get bothered. Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 lol... sure what h is doing to you is practically robbery but you don't seem to care about that at all. Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 what are you worried about Anusha? That is is becoming distant? Yes Im insecure with this whole thing.I guess it is because it is all new and so I kind of lost control of him.On his other job I had a friend there like I said before and I knew people there(since I worked there) and knew how everything worked(like which hour it opened,closed,the shifts and things like that).And now he has a new job I dont know anything about it much(besides the things he tell me) so I get insecure. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I didnt tell him I just would pay if we meet for sure(even though I do felt like saying) but I just got afraid he could see it as blackmail and get bothered. Oh believe me, you didn't have to say all that. In his mind, he knows he needs to get his car paid for and he knows that you will do it for him because you do whatever he asks of you. So, he's going to make dam sure to meet, so he can get the money he needs for his vehicle. It'll just be one more thing taken care of by Bank of Anusha. You have this whole thing backwards....you'd be a whole lot better off finding yourself a Sugar Daddy. Heck, he'll keep you company AND pay for everything!! Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Somebody said once on one of my threads that this relationship is like a financial agreement and so it doesnt feel right to me to pay for something Im not geting return understand? Is like paying for a service,lets say having your windows washed for example and not geting the service done.Since Im paying I want it done(meaning he doing the things he suposed to do like meeting me). Link to comment
penelope13 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Yes, you are paying for his services, but you haven't negotiated the terms of the contract openly Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Oh believe me, you didn't have to say all that. In his mind, he knows he needs to get his car paid for and he knows that you will do it for him because you do whatever he asks of you. So, he's going to make dam sure to meet, so he can get the money he needs for his vehicle. It'll just be one more thing taken care of by Bank of Anusha. You have this whole thing backwards....you'd be a whole lot better off finding yourself a Sugar Daddy. Heck, he'll keep you company AND pay for everything!! I wont give him the money.He asked me to go to the shop in the morning(since he cant go because of work) and pay for it and we suposed to meet after that.If I was going to give him the money on our meeting I would be pretty sure he would come but doing this way Im not so sure. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I think it's time for a refund.... Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 I think it's time for a refund.... I guess if he doesnt come I will go back to the shop on monday and just cancel the payment. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 You shouldn't pay it at all...I mean you just paid all for Saturday's date and what did he do in return for that?? Stop rewarding him for doing absolutely nothing. If you continue down this path you will continue to receive nothing in return from him. Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 You shouldn't pay it at all...I mean you just paid all for Saturday's date and what did he do in return for that?? Stop rewarding him for doing absolutely nothing. If you continue down this path you will continue to receive nothing in return from him. But how can I guante that he will do his part? That is the problem.If I was going to give him the money on our meeting for example I could just not handle it to him if he didnt come or if he didnt do what he suposed to do but like that I cant see how. I even thought about asking him some guarante that he would really make it tomorrow but what else he could give me besides his word? There was nothing. Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 just say ... if you don't come..... no money. easy Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 just say ... if you don't come..... no money. easy But I will go to the shop to pay before our meeting. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 But how can I guante that he will do his part? That is the problem.If I was going to give him the money on our meeting for example I could just not handle it to him if he didnt come or if he didnt do what he suposed to do but like that I cant see how. You can't guarantee that he'll do anything because you can't and don't control him. If anything, he controls you and your every move and you don't even realize or see it that way. He determines when you meet, when you talk, who pays for dates, and he determines who will pay HIS bills. You have relinquished all control over to him. He has everything he needs and more and you don't have much of anything to show from this whole situation. All you are getting out of this are 1-2 hour meetups and I mean...Whopee! I spend more time than that with my clients at work. Right now, you're not fed up enough...but you will get tired of being broke and lonely all the time. Everyone gets tired of that. Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 tell him you will leave the shop straight away if he is not there when you arrive... see what happens then Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 But I control him too,to get the money he has to do what I want and give me what I want.And he knows that cause every time he needs anything he does everything to please me cause he knows that if I get bothered there will be no money.Today for example I called him a few times(what would bother him usualy) and got answered every time.There was no mobile of or "Im busy,talk to you later". Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 tell him you will leave the shop straight away if he is not there when you arrive... see what happens then We wont meet on the shop,I will go there alone in the morning(he cant go cause he will be working) and later on we will meet where we usualy meet. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 But I control him too,to get the money he has to do what I want and give me what I want. No, I'm sorry...you really don't control him. Notice how he cancelled twice on you already this week? See, if you really controlled him...He wouldn't have cancelled. Also, notice how you are complaining that he doesn't talk to you as much? Again, if you were really in control of this ship, you would have nothing to come here and post about. He's got it though..and he's got it good. You? Not so much.... Link to comment
chitown9 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Anusha, now you are not only broke because of this guy, but you are in debt also. Wake up girl!!.....chi Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Anusha - is this your first boyfriend? I'm wondering about your homelife - what kind of relationship do your parents have? Link to comment
FarthestEdge Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 You can't guarantee that he'll do anything because you can't and don't control him. If anything, he controls you and your every move and you don't even realize or see it that way. He determines when you meet, when you talk, who pays for dates, and he determines who will pay HIS bills. You have relinquished all control over to him. He has everything he needs and more and you don't have much of anything to show from this whole situation. All you are getting out of this are 1-2 hour meetups and I mean...Whopee! I spend more time than that with my clients at work. Right now, you're not fed up enough...but you will get tired of being broke and lonely all the time. Everyone gets tired of that. But I control him too,to get the money he has to do what I want and give me what I want.And he knows that cause every time he needs anything he does everything to please me cause he knows that if I get bothered there will be no money.Today for example I called him a few times(what would bother him usualy) and got answered every time.There was no mobile of or "Im busy,talk to you later". What does any of this have to do with love or romance? Really Anusha, can you not see that if his affections hinge on whether or not you open your wallet, then he doesn't really care about you and your relationship is an illusion? So everything he does to make you feel 'important' to him, or that he does to 'please you' isn't about you at all? You're an automated teller machine, and he's just punching in the right code. You don't need to 'control' someone who cares about you. You don't need to harass them endlessly for them to make time for you. They 'control' themselves, and make you a priority because your happiness is important to them, and they want to be with you. And while you're busy justifying the acceptability of buying his affections , consider this. What does it mean, if he doesn't really mean it? Link to comment
truegrit Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I think one time she stated that she realized he probably didn't really care about her and she said it was OK because all she wants is BOYFRIEND not necessarily one that really loves her. To go with her to weddings and such so she feels like she has a boyfriend. In other words Anusha he is just a paid escort, problem is your not a rich woman that can afford one. I truly hope Anusha you will see the light on this and be able to find someone that truly cares about you for who you are not what you provide them. Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 did you pay for his car today?? did he meet you? Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 did you pay for his car today?? did he meet you? Yes I paid for his car and he made to the date.And we spend pretty much the whole afternoon together and had a nice time.He was sweet and attentive.We went to a bar that didnt have much to eat(all they had was expensive) and I mentioned to him that I was hungry and he just took me somewhere else(even though we had just got to the bar).I said it was fine and that I could eat when I got home but he insisted and said he would take me somewhere where I could eat.I liked our date very much. Today he called me this morning.He was pretty talkative and asked me to put some credit on his mobile for him(There is no place near his house that is possible to do that and I can do from home with my credid card).I said I would try cause last time I tried it didnt work so I wasnt sure if it would work this time and that I didnt have money to put it near here.He said it was fine and that there was no problem if it didnt work and thanked me anyway.I tried but it didnt work.A while later he called again asking about it,I said I have tried but it didnt work but that I would go out to take some money and try puting it with money for him.But now I cant stop wondering about his second call.I was happy with the date and the first call but the second call was weird.He seemed on a rush to hang up and was diferent than on the first call.After I said it didnt work with the credid card he was going to end the call,I mean he said "Ok then..." and I could notice that he was about to hang up.I had to rush and said I would try to do it with money before he hang up.I cant stop thinking what that means.Maybe there was nothing and he just was like that cause we had already talked before and he called just to know if it had worked and so after I answered there was no need to continue talking. Link to comment
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