Batya33 Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I can obviously get why a guy my age would look at me but not when they are old enough to be my dad...thats just weird. Because these men attend gym to check out younger women. I dont think it would be appropriate if you see an old man chatting up a 14 year old girl....Most people say i look like im 18. They're not pedophiles -you're an adult woman. Many women date men 20 years older than they are or more. These men likely are there to work out -younger women to check out are a dime a dozen - they can do that without paying to join a gym. It's not appropriate if an adult man over 21 chats up a 14 year old girl in a sexual way because he is an adult and should know better. That's not what's happening here. You're focusing on who is checking you out while you work out (and some of the time you sense it, I understand) and then you're labeling them as "old" when they're not and labeling them as "pervs" just because they look at or notice you. I would agree with you if they got into your personal space or said something of a sexual or offensive manner to you. Given your highly sensitive personal boundaries I don't think a co-ed gym is for you (and of course a woman looking at you might be a lesbian - so you never know). Link to comment
BritterSweet Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 HMm is this question for me? if it is then the answer is NO AHAHAHAHA!! No, it wasn't directed at you! Hahaha, oh gosh. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 * * * ?? Im asking you a question on this thread not other threads...so dont judge me!! So its ok if a 50 year old man starts talking to your 14 year old daughter??? Yes, it is okay for older people to speak to younger people. They're in a public gym. There's nothing wrong with someone asking questions like that. He didn't say, Hey do you want to have sex with me? He asked what she was studying. And yes, your prior threads do matter, because people take the time to give you advice and if you are posting things that are not entirely true, they should know that before they put time into a post. Overall, you started this thread saying you have a problem with old men looking at you. So what if they are looking at you? Just live your life. Older people have as much right to exist and go to the gym and yes, even look at you, as anyone else. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Yes, it is okay for older people to speak to younger people. They're in a public gym. There's nothing wrong with someone asking questions like that. He didn't say, Hey do you want to have sex with me? He asked what she was studying. And yes, your prior threads do matter, because people take the time to give you advice and if you are posting things that are not entirely true, they should know that before they put time into a post. Overall, you started this thread saying you have a problem with old men looking at you. So what if they are looking at you? Just live your life. Older people have as much right to exist and go to the gym and yes, even look at you, as anyone else. I totally agree that other threads make a difference to what is going on especially if there are many about the same topic. I also agree that people get to look at whatever and whoever they want. This is not a police state. Are people supposed to continously stare at the floor? Should they have their eyes plucked out for looking up?I think there is something far bigger going on here than the OP has mentioned which is the key to the issue. OP as Batya has said maybe co ed gyms and experiences are not your thing and you should try an all female gym. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 You just have some really unhealthy preoccupation with guys even looking at you, or saying hello, or glancing at you. It's been like 4 or 5 threads about this. Most girls would be flattered (secretly, of course) that they're getting checked out. You flip when a guy says hello, or checks you out. Big deal, really. Time for some introspection. Agree! I am sorry for what I am about to say Jaydedgirl. After having read (and commented on) some of your other threads I know you aren't going to like it, but ... I really can't take your threads seriously anymore. They are mostly all about stalkers or people staring at you. You don't just have a problem with old men staring at you at the gym, you have a problem with people staring at you ALL the time, in the shopping malls, everywhere ... that is what you have said. Married men stare at you whose wives then stare enviously at you ... apparently. It was suggested on one of your threads that you were fishing for compliments because you were refusing to accept the explanations that were being given to you - even reposting more than one thread, more than once in the hope that you would hear something different. The advice was the same on both threads, all pretty much what is being said here. To be honest JG, I really think there are deeper issues here at play. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 To add: it kinda pains me to see genuine people offering you genuine advice (as I once did) on an issue which I'm convinced isn't genuine itself ... not when you add this to all your other threads. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 To add to this, I would say you do not have to be honest with the people here but with YOURSELF. It is yourself you are hurting and causing yourself to have a bad life and bad life experiences. You REALLY do control your own responses and thoughts and feelings. Just be honest with them and find someone to help you. I know you think we are being mean and everyone is maligning you, but seriously I have NO interest in that at all. I have no time for that. I want to see you enjoy life. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 To add to this, I would say you do not have to be honest with the people here but with YOURSELF. It is yourself you are hurting and causing yourself to have a bad life and bad life experiences. You REALLY do control your own responses and thoughts and feelings. Just be honest with them and find someone to help you. I know you think we are being mean and everyone is maligning you, but seriously I have NO interest in that at all. I have no time for that. I want to see you enjoy life. Yes. As much as you probably won't believe me I am actually tying to help you. I DO believe that there are genuine issues here but I also believe that the true issues are hidden far deeper than what you are making the "surface" issue to be about here. As victoria said, you need to be honest with yourself. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Plenty of perverts stare. You could say that plenty of non-perverts stare too. How on earth would you know the difference between a pervert or someone who has just accidentally caught your eye because they happened to be looking your way? Or do you naturally just assume that everyone who looks at you is a pervert? And please clarify pervert for me. Does being over the age of 40 and still going to the gym make you a pervert? Does the fact that a pretty woman can turn your head make you a pervert? Or does it make you a pervert because you strike up conversation with someone who frequents the same gym as you? That is a ridiculous statement to make that holds no substance at all. Link to comment
rocio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 When I walk down the street people make eye contact with me and I do with them. It doesn't mean anything. I won't lie when I say I look at the rear end of an attractive woman walking in front of me. It doesn't mean I'm salivating at the mouth with uncontrollable desire. This is a good point. Jaydedgirl seems to think that these men are drooling over her and obsessing over her butt. Who knows what they were thinking? Maybe they were thinking, "wow, my wife is 20 years older than her and has got a rounder butt!" I know even being a woman, I tend to check out other women. It's not even a competitive thing, it's just interesting, more of a curiosity. I actually notice other women checking me out more than men. I don't assume that they think I'm some sort of godess, or that they're going to go home and fantasize about me. Who knows what they're thinking. Probably some of them are thinking, "am I thinner than her? are my boobs bigger?" others are thinking, "oh, i wish I had her legs" while others are thinking, "oh yeah, I'm way hotter than her" and others are thinking, "I'd probably do her if I were drunk"... People - men and women of all ages - are curious about other people. It's just an automatic thing to look at other people. It doesn't necessarily mean that they would even want to have sex with you, or that they're necessarily thinking anything sexual. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 The other thing is: I notice a lot of attractive people from both sexes. I am NOT looking at them because I want anything from them or to compare or anything. I just notice natural beauty and I am admiring the wonderful work of nature in making beautiful people,beautiful nature, whatever. Not because I want to insult or otherwise intend any interest. It is perfectly natural to look at something you find attractive. It is human nature.It does not mean any serious interest. I am sure there are tons of people like me who just notice beauty in things and people. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 You could say that plenty of non-perverts stare too. How on earth would you know the difference between a pervert or someone who has just accidentally caught your eye because they happened to be looking your way? Or do you naturally just assume that everyone who looks at you is a pervert? And please clarify pervert for me. Does being over the age of 40 and still going to the gym make you a pervert? Does the fact that a pretty woman can turn your head make you a pervert? Or does it make you a pervert because you strike up conversation with someone who frequents the same gym as you? That is a ridiculous statement to make that holds no substance at all. I agree. So someone is a pervert if they are 50 and look at someone younger? Really? Wow, like us older people have no right to a pair of eyes? I hate to say it but age comes to everyone and there is beauty in age too, both women and men. Being 25 is not the end all and be all of the universe, and older people are not dirt and less worthy. One day JG when you are 45 or 50 and some young chicketta of 25 tells you you are worthless because you are 45 or 50 it will insult you, because you WILL be our age one day. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I look at both men and women at the gym. I go there 4-5 times a week. I look at their haircut, or how cute their shoes are. Sometimes I wonder why they don't make yoga pants for men because I would sport them, only thing difference would be the word "Prince" accross my rear instead of "Princess". Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Dont judge me based on my other threads! I think its unfair and rude as to this being a new post !! I can and will when its an ongoing problem...you have a problem with people in general staring at you... Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I can obviously get why a guy my age would look at me but not when they are old enough to be my dad...thats just weird. Because these men attend gym to check out younger women. I dont think it would be appropriate if you see an old man chatting up a 14 year old girl....Most people say i look like im 18. An oldER man who looks at a young woman at a gym, whether it be intentionally or otherwise, is totally different from an "old man chatting up a 14 year old girl". I think you would do yourself a huge favour if you changed your attitude somewhat. Stop assuming that oldER men only go to the gym to check out younger women. Firstly, being over 40 doesn't mean you stop wanting to look good, working out and generally looking after yourself and, secondly, oldER women have what it takes too, so these oldER men may actually be checking them out too, you know! You aren't the only one they may inadvertently look at. You also need to stop assuming that everyone looking your way is actually looking AT you, whether it is at the gym, the mall, wherever, because you are creating issues where there needn't be and causing yourself unecessary stress ... but more importantly ... I think you should stop referring to anyone over 40 as OLD and acting as though anyone over a certain age shouldn't be allowed out in public!! Link to comment
Applewhite Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I am 26, and I've noticed/looked at older men in my gym. Some of them are even attractive and fit (in their 40's and 50's). One of them started a conversation with me, and later introduced me to his daughter. Does that make me or him a perv too JG? Also where do you get off saying they joined a gym just to stare at you?! How can you know this? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I am 26, and I've noticed/looked at older men in my gym. Some of them are even attractive and fit (in their 40's and 50's). One of them started a conversation with me, and later introduced me to his daughter. Does that make me or him a perv too JG? Also where do you get off saying they joined a gym just to stare at you?! How can you know this? I agree, all ages of people join gyms to be fit. I do not know anyone who pays $70 a month or more to stare at women, they can do that for free anywhere. Link to comment
rocio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I am 26, and I've noticed/looked at older men in my gym. Some of them are even attractive and fit (in their 40's and 50's). One of them started a conversation with me, and later introduced me to his daughter. Does that make me or him a perv too JG? I think I'm a perv too. Some 50 year olds are HOT! Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I think I'm a perv too. Some 50 year olds are HOT! I am continuously amazed at the 70 to 80 year old members at our YMCA. They are taking such pride in their bodies and look better than some people in their 20's. This old man about 75 is always following me around the building, and I could so easily assume he wants me, lol. But I think he would be disappointed in my body if he had it because his is firmer. I quit going for over a year and packed on 20, have lost 7 and have 13 to go. Just looking at him and others in his age group is so inspiring and helping me get back on track. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I think I'm a perv too. Some 50 year olds are HOT! I must be the ultimmate "perv" then because, at 43, I can't my eyes off of my 28 year old bf!! I'm just glad he doesn't think that way!!! Link to comment
Applewhite Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I think I'm a perv too. Some 50 year olds are HOT! They are, aren't they. I completely agree. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I'm 56 and would be thrilled if someone/anyone would stare at me....but then I'd be thinking they thought I was fat/ugly....so I guess they'd have to throw a smile in with that stare....oh my...maybe I should join a gym!! Link to comment
teabee Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 They are, aren't they. I completely agree. Add another vote from teabee Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I'm 56 and would be thrilled if someone/anyone would stare at me....but then I'd be thinking they thought I was fat/ugly....so I guess they'd have to throw a smile in with that stare....oh my...maybe I should join a gym!! Maybe so, ha ha. Link to comment
avman Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 This thread closed due to flaming. Link to comment
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