I have a problem with old men looking at me

[bulletproof]

Agree with all those that say the o.p. has posted numerous threads about people looking at her. At that point I'm inclined to believe it is her problem, not the rest of the world's. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with a man asking her sister about her workout. Some people are just friendly. I also question whether even any of this is true, as there have been contradicting threads that the o.p. has posted in the past.

[Oneironaut]

I actually rather dislike being stared at, also...and when I was younger, it was extremely unsettling when older men were staring at me.

 

As I've gotten older, I've gotten bolder, lol...now when someone stares at me for a long and "rude" period of time, I turn around and stare right back at them...and if they -still- continue to stare, I've actually said to them on a few occasions, "Can I help you with something?" in a very loud and belligerent tone. It has stopped them cold, each and every time.

[Fudgie]

Guys will look. Girls will look. It's a part of life. You just have to ignore. As long as they aren't harassing you, you can't do anything.

 

If it bothers you, I would say to find a female-only gym or not go to a gym. I mean really, if you're good looking and go to a gym to get sweaty while running (so your boobs are bouncing up and down) while wearing tighter gym clothes...c'mon, you're going to get looked at. Let's not be silly.

 

If you don't want to be looked at, I suggest not going out at all. Because people will look no matter where you go.

[Doc Blaze]

looked at your old threads...i seriously think its an issue within yourself...im not saying that people might be staring ..but something else is going on too within you

[Doc Blaze]

Agree with all those that say the o.p. has posted numerous threads about people looking at her. At that point I'm inclined to believe it is her problem, not the rest of the world's. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with a man asking her sister about her workout. Some people are just friendly. I also question whether even any of this is true, as there have been contradicting threads that the o.p. has posted in the past.

 

thread about her being jealous of her sister being more skinny then OP

[Pinnacle]

If Brad Pitt (or some equally hot dude) took a quick peek while you were in the middle of your workout would you be flattered or disgusted? I'm thinking the former.

 

Point is, you don't like it when older gentlemen who you are not attracted looking at you and you label them as perverts and creepy (That phone thing though is weird by any standard. Dudes sometimes...) yet if it was a good looking dude you would think to yourself "Come over here and talk to me." (if you were single that is.)

 

You have a selective memory. You dwell on the fact older, unattractive men like to check you out but probably ignore but welcome the attention given by a person with a total opposite description. Nothing to see here and I have no advice to give. I just wanted to point out how/why you deemed the particular man in this situation creepy/perverted.

 

You don't need to change gyms and relegate yourself to only female environments. You really just have to deal with the fact that as a woman you will garner attention from the male gender whether you like it or not. It only becomes a true problem if too much attention is given of the inappropriate variety if you know what I mean.

[Sparkly Eyes]

If Brad Pitt (or some equally hot dude) took a quick peek while you were in the middle of your workout would you be flattered or disgusted? I'm thinking the former.

 

 

That's at the very least an ego boost. Old dudes liking you is in fact bad for ego.

[Fudgie]

That's at the very least an ego boost. Old dudes liking you is in fact bad for ego.

 

How?

 

Keep in mind that there are many old dudes that will look at *anything* regardless of attractive level.

 

She will only feel bad about it if she lets herself feel about it. It's just a random stranger looking at her, doing nothing else. If it's causing a mental breakdown in her, she needs to get help for her issues.

[Sparkly Eyes]

How?

 

Keep in mind that there are many old dudes that will look at *anything* regardless of attractive level.

 

She will only feel bad about it if she lets herself feel about it. It's just a random stranger looking at her, doing nothing else. If it's causing a mental breakdown in her, she needs to get help for her issues.

 

Well, I should have said it's bad for ego if you only get looks from old men but not from younger hotter ones because like you said some of them will look at anything, lol.

[Lamour detruit]

That's at the very least an ego boost. Old dudes liking you is in fact bad for ego.

 

How is anyone liking you bad for the ego ?..it isn't about ego, it's about attitude.

 

OP, you look around, they look around. I am sure if you see someone you like, your eyes wander as well. Who's to say there is even anything behind it unless they actually talk to you ?.. Who gives a sheet ?..focus on yourself more than on others, you'll find your gym experience will be a lot easier.

[In the Dark]

The old dudes gawping should not be negative effect on the ego at all when you know you also have what ever maybe considered attractive men gawping as well.

I could see old dude not paying attention and attractive dudes making unpleasant faces when looking at you as being bad for the ego.

[Jaydedgirl]

Give it a few years and she'll make a post about not getting any attention from the men at the gym young or old.

 

You dont know me so dont start

[Jaydedgirl]

Agree with all those that say the o.p. has posted numerous threads about people looking at her. At that point I'm inclined to believe it is her problem, not the rest of the world's. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with a man asking her sister about her workout. Some people are just friendly. I also question whether even any of this is true, as there have been contradicting threads that the o.p. has posted in the past.

 

* * * ?? Im asking you a question on this thread not other threads...so dont judge me!! So its ok if a 50 year old man starts talking to your 14 year old daughter???

[Jaydedgirl]

I actually rather dislike being stared at, also...and when I was younger, it was extremely unsettling when older men were staring at me.

 

As I've gotten older, I've gotten bolder, lol...now when someone stares at me for a long and "rude" period of time, I turn around and stare right back at them...and if they -still- continue to stare, I've actually said to them on a few occasions, "Can I help you with something?" in a very loud and belligerent tone. It has stopped them cold, each and every time.

 

Haha ill try that next time thanks

[Jaydedgirl]

thread about her being jealous of her sister being more skinny then OP

 

 

Dont judge me based on my other threads! I think its unfair and rude as to this being a new post !!

[Jaydedgirl]

First of all its not about looks, im not at the gym to find someone. I have a bf and Im content being that way. I dont care if Brad Pitt was next to me on the treadmill. But when these old pervz stare at your behind KNOWING that i am young enough to be their own daughters age is disgusting!!

[superfox]

But you had a crush on a guy at the gym a few months ago before this 'boyfriend' was ever mentioned/invented, you wanted advice on how to make him notice you.

[Jaydedgirl]

I think, in your case, it would be best to verbally say, firmly, "please do not stare at me" and give him/them a dirty look. Better to possibly be rude (if the staring is innocent and accidental, which I don't think it is) than be bothered and worried about this all the time. Some people need a louder hint.

 

Thank you for taking my side on this,i appreciate it so much. It seems everyone here is judging me based of my previous posts and thats not fair to me. My sister is younger than me and she attends gym more than i do and she has told me lots of old men come up and talk to her and shes annoyed by it. She has been asked questions like how old are you, what you do, what are you studying,how often you come to gym, do you have a bf?? Like im actually upset about these men talking to her when they are old enough to be our fathers!! Why dont they go speak to women their own age? Why do they feel the need to be "friendly" with us?

[Jaydedgirl]

but you had a crush on a guy at the gym a few months ago before this 'boyfriend' was ever mentioned/invented, you wanted advice on how to make him notice you.

 

that was then this is now...i have a bf get over my past threads!! Ugh

[Pinnacle]

First of all its not about looks

 

Well, then why are you so concerned about OLDER [LOOKING] men looking at you? What about the younger men? Are they in the clear to take a peek?

 

When I walk down the street people make eye contact with me and I do with them. It doesn't mean anything. I won't lie when I say I look at the rear end of an attractive woman walking in front of me. It doesn't mean I'm salivating at the mouth with uncontrollable desire. I'm a dude, I like woman, so I check them out from time to time. You don't stop being a man when you get to a certain age.

 

I'm not saying it's okay for someone to touch you or peek into your phone. That was weird. You had a reason to be concerned. But you shouldn't be concerned about everyone over a certain age.

 

When you leave your house you observe. You smell, you look, you hear. You take it all in and it is something you just do subconsciously. So if some guy observes you at the gym for even a second, it isn't something to freak out about. 99.9999999999999% of the time you will never see or talk to that person ever again. Take it as a compliment. I know I would that someone noticed my rockin' bod.

[BritterSweet]

Would you be flattered if grandmothers were ogling you (assuming you're in your 20s)?

[Pinnacle]

Hey, at least it lets me know I am doing something right.

[Jaydedgirl]

I can obviously get why a guy my age would look at me but not when they are old enough to be my dad...thats just weird. Because these men attend gym to check out younger women. I dont think it would be appropriate if you see an old man chatting up a 14 year old girl....Most people say i look like im 18.

[Jaydedgirl]

Would you be flattered if grandmothers were ogling you (assuming you're in your 20s)?

 

HMm is this question for me? if it is then the answer is NO

[ApocalypseDreams]

The line between some old men perving on you and some old men just looking at you or in your direction is pretty fine. If you are a pretty self conscious person everyone's actions somehow relate to you. That little glance becomes a leer. That laugh you hear is at your expense. That smile becomes a mocking smirk. That quiet conversation between two people behind you becomes gossip. The reason I say this is because I suffer from low self esteem, issues with how I look and social anxiety. Due to this, I am aware that I am at least partly (if not totally) responsible in how I react to things and how I interpret them.

 

I'm not saying these old men aren't leering and perving on you. Consider though, it could be misinterpretation on your behalf and perhaps an issue with older people on your behalf.