GrowingIn Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Yeah no kidding man. You don't initiate sex ONE time, not ONE freaking time, in an entire YEAR, and after I tell you how unwanted it makes me feel, and how much I would like to see that coming from you and then the more you not do it, the more it makes me feel like crap and it does turn me into a needy person because dammit I NEED to feel wanted too! And then when I bring it up, "I'm just a complainer and too sensitive and that's just how you are"? "Every other boyfriend's told me the same thing in the past and have always had the problem....but honestly, you're just too sensitive!" Really now? Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I honestly don't think a woman being independent turns quality men off, unless insecure men who are not worth a relationship anyway. I think some self claimed independent women become very judgmental and perhaps too into themselves sometimes (same as some very independent men), which is an unattractive quality. If you're beautiful, smart, independent AND DOWN TO EARTH, lots of quality men will want to be with you. Being laid back and non judgmental is the key. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I honestly don't think a woman being independent turns quality men off, unless insecure men who are not worth a relationship anyway. I think some self claimed independent women become very judgmental and perhaps too into themselves sometimes (same as some very independent men), which is an unattractive quality. If you're beautiful, smart, independent AND DOWN TO EARTH, lots of quality men will want to be with you. Being laid back and non judgmental is the key. Very well put -totally agree. Link to comment
sacredwolf Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Well i for one would not care its the heart that counts i am a 31 year old guy dating a 24 year old girl she is very cute she weighs only 120 n i love her no matter what but she seems to push me away at times i am very loving snd non violent yet i stay with her even tho she has left me cheated on me but i still love her ....so its not brains or any of that its the heart. Maybe its my heart ifk Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 But so far my experience has taught me is that women are selfish creatures who do not give it back once they have it and usually everything goes down the drain when I stop fighting for it and leave it in their hands. And honestly I'm just sick of the fight and give up when I notice that selfishness. So, I'm starting to think you have a problem with women Link to comment
TakingtheBlame Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Well i for one would not care its the heart that counts i am a 31 year old guy dating a 24 year old girl she is very cute she weighs only 120 n i love her no matter what but she seems to push me away at times i am very loving snd non violent yet i stay with her even tho she has left me cheated on me but i still love her ....so its not brains or any of that its the heart. Maybe its my heart ifk What does her weight and being very cute have to do with loving her? Sounds like you are just physically attracted to her. Link to comment
rocio Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 In my experience, there is no shortage of men interested in a woman who is attractive, intelligent and independent. Link to comment
KatAstrophy1607308539 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 In my experience, there is no shortage of men interested in a woman who is attractive, intelligent and independent. Great to hear that! Send some my way, rocio! Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Those attributes are definitely what I'd like to see in my ideal woman. He's most likely intimidated by your characteristics, honestly you sound like the perfect woman to me (just saying). Link to comment
KatAstrophy1607308539 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 He's most likely intimidated by your characteristics, honestly you sound like the perfect woman to me (just saying). You've just made my day! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 You've just made my day! You seem to have a confirmation bias. When people say men are intimidated by you, you are happy. When people suggest that women with those traits also need confidence and approachability, silence. I just wanted to point that out. Link to comment
KatAstrophy1607308539 Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 You seem to have a confirmation bias. When people say men are intimidated by you, you are happy. When people suggest that women with those traits also need confidence and approachability, silence. I just wanted to point that out. Of course I'll lean more towards comments which affirm that unlike my ex, most men are NOT intimidated by beautiful, intelligent and independent women. Besides, italinanmf24 paid a compliment which made me smile! Trust me I am taking in all the comments regardless of their stance - but you'll notice most of the ones I've replied to are usually the last ones immediately before I comment [e.g. yours now]. I wish there was a "Like" button on here! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 All fun aside, you said you struggle with confidence. Given two women of equal awesomeness, healthy guys will choose the one with confidence any day. Link to comment
KatAstrophy1607308539 Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 I agree that most men will pick a confident woman over one whos isn't. I don't struggle with confidence, I just don't have a very high self esteem. However, the question was about men being intimidated by intelligence, independence and good looks - regardless of whether the woman possessing these qualities is outwardly confident or not. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 I agree that most men will pick a confident woman over one whos isn't. I don't struggle with confidence, I just don't have a very high self esteem. However, the question was about men being intimidated by intelligence, independence and good looks - regardless of whether the woman possessing these qualities is outwardly confident or not. that may be true. but i've also been witness to another trend. some men will pursue women who are NOT confident, because there's a realization that that kind of woman may be more quick to attach...which in turn will make the man feel desired/needed. i'm not sure it's in the nature of an emotionally needy (or perhaps a man who struggles with confidence...and has a need for constant validation from others) man to pursue a woman who he perceives to be strong and independent. he's unconsciously reacting to the prospect that his own needs will not be met in a relationship with such a woman. he'll avoid the encounter altogether because he'd rather not explore his own misgivings. instead...he may just make a glib reference that speaks to a missing level of attraction. i think confident, indpependent men are drawn to confident, independent women. if men aren't attracted by what you have to offer on these terms, perhaps it only speaks to their own securities...or insecurities. from my own personal experience...when i'm feeling unsatisfactory, you couldn't pay me to approach a woman who i perceived as strong in character. i'd feel inadequate. and realistically...i don't think most people are all that confident in themselves in this modern world. so, if you truly feel this way about yourself, you're likely in a bit of a minority...and as such, you may find it more difficult to find a 'quality' match. just my opinions though. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Intimidating = HJNTIY. It seems to be a buzz word that women use to buoy each other when rejected by men. Right up there with, "he must be gay!" Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 I agree that most men will pick a confident woman over one whos isn't. I don't struggle with confidence, I just don't have a very high self esteem. However, the question was about men being intimidated by intelligence, independence and good looks - regardless of whether the woman possessing these qualities is outwardly confident or not. I personally don't see much difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. One feeds into the other. People who exude self-confidence consistently have high self-esteem, in my experience. I understand the question, but it's short-sided. You can be smart and intelligent and attractive but if you aren't approachable and/or friendly and/or fun and/or confident and men can still run the other way. So you can take your "yeah men are just intimidated by my awesomeness" into your bed at night to keep you warm. Believe me, it MAY be true ... but all I can say is there are stark differences between my friends who are "successful" with men and those who are not and all of them are "smart, independent, beautiful, successful" ladies. Link to comment
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