Tryptophan Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I think that I still think about him too much. I'm wondering if I'm some obsessive psycho ex, if I'm just obsessively crazy, or if it's normal. It's gonna be 2 months since we broke up on Friday, and I still think about him, on average, 80% of the time. The percentage has fluctuated from 70-100%, and it does not even have to do with distractions. I could be typing, reading, talking to people, dancing or watching a movie but sometimes I'm back at 100% thinking about him and I want to burst into tears. I have had these moments when I'm around friends where I just get triggers and the memories just rush in. First thing I do is pull out the sunglasses in case a tear or two roll out as it has occurred before. I'm thinking that it might be because we have both broken NC, and I have just recently blocked him on FB, and deactivated my account. The only contact we have is texting now, and we don't even talk on the phone. He's usually the one initiating contact; I'm too weak to ignore. There's no hostility or apparent resentment in our conversations and they are rather quick. I think we are still vulnerable to some extent so we both refrain from talking about the actual relationship we had. He says he misses me and tends to be more emotional; I avoid mentioning my feelings at all. So, back to the point: How much do you think about your ex and how long has it been since you broke-up? I just want to get an idea of what the majority is like and hopefully find comfort in the numbers. I'm starting to feel crazy. Link to comment
iBroken Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 A lot - and its been 8 months or so since we split. Its annoying....but I also think of my other ex's quite a bit, so I think its just my nature......however, I dont think of my past ex's as much as I think of my current. I look forward to the time where a day will pass when she doesnt cross my mind. Link to comment
cdalton17 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Well I just started a journal on here and in a hour wrote 5 responses, It has been 39 days for me from 8 years. I think about her 90-100% of the time. But I have issues I am working on. I was a control freak, I drank to much(quit now of course) I was sellfish, But I did show love and not all bad. She obviously broke up with me. I took today off of work because it was just to much to deal with, Had a bad day yeasterday and last night. somedays are good or better I should say. But I still can have a decent day and think about her 90 % of the time. A lot of times if I just let my emotions go rampid and do not attempt to control them, This is when I start to spiral downwards into a dark tunnel. Like yesterday, When I do think about her, I think of what we have had together. And also think about life in the future without her. The toughest one is thinking of life without her. Do not know how to stop thinking this way. I get some people that say its been 5 weeks get over her. I get other people saying it takes atleast 6-12 months to stop always thinking about her. So I just need to hold on for a Very Very bumby ride. Mostly it is in my mindset and I know this. The problem is I have a addictive personality.. And it Sucks.. especially now... Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 A lot - and its been 8 months or so since we split. Damn how long was the relationship? This particular relationship went by too fast and it was like a high every time we were together. It was only 1 year and 2 months but they were rarely bad. The only times that were bad were when I got jealous for no reason. The relationship practically ended because of me so 30% of the time I think about him/the relationship, it's about what I could have done differently. I had a longer relationship that lasted 3 years and it ended because the relationship just got old and it was easier to move on because I remembered how miserable the last few months were. So I had that to remind myself of why it ended, making it much more easier to accept and deal with. With the recent break-up, I really have nothing to remember as "miserable". It also doesn't help that there's no real, determined NC. Well I just started a journal on here and in a hour wrote 5 responses, It has been 39 days for me from 8 years. I don't think you are abnormal for taking that long. 8 years are a long time. Some people just forget how bad break-ups are when they're not going through one. I've also taken a few days of work to give myself some alone, thinking, crying time but don't want to make it a habit because I want to adjust to my new life on my own. Reading is what I've found to be most helpful because it requires you to focus on one thing. I find hanging out with friends, which is what people usually recommend, to be more painful because I just find myself wishing it was him I was hanging out with. It doesn't feel right to be with anyone else at the moment, whether romantically or not. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I feel a lot like you do- sometimes wonder if I'm abnormal too, so its nice to see I'm not! We officially called things off in November, were NC for a little while- tried to work on things for a few weeks right before Christmas, but the week before Christmas was really the end of the end....so like 3 months for me. Though I saw him in January which was a huge mess. So 3 months since we were 'done', 2 months since I saw him. We texted a few times after I saw him in January- but I haven't spoken to him since January- so 2 months since we spoke, 1 month since we last texted. And I still think of him about 80 percent of the time. Its fading now, and it's not as painful. I'm able to live my life, but little things will trigger me. It sucks. I also, no matter what's going on, how distracted I am, what ever- feel like at ANY given moment I could burst into tears. I hate that feeling. I haven't NOT felt like this since the Fall and it sucks. So either we're both normal, or we're both abnormal lol- but nice to see I'm not alone in how I feel. Link to comment
cdalton17 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I think the same, I can not have a good time or stop thinking about my ex when I am with other people. I think that I would rather be spending the time with her. and that it actually makes me worse when I am with other people. I actually sold my boat and my Truck just last week because it had to many memories with them. I am actually moving outta of the house we were buying together and buying another one, she picked out this house, it is too big for me anyways. But all of the furnishings we have gotten together. I mean everything. Again we lived together 8 years, We had nothing when first starting out. We have built everything up from scratch. ugh.. I miss her... Link to comment
thewendy Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 8-year relationship, 1 month since break up, and i think about him 90% of the time. That is why i've been spending most of my alone time online, hoping my friends are online so i can chat the night away. I'll talk to anyone, just to get him off my mind. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I feel a lot like you do- sometimes wonder if I'm abnormal too, so its nice to see I'm not! That's what I love about this forum, no matter how crazy you think you are, there's always someone that feels the same way so you don't feel as crazy. I can live with thinking about him but I just want to get to that point where it doesn't hurt anymore. Once it doesn't hurt then it is easier to live with but I hate being with people and thinking about him which leads me to feel like I am gonna cry. I also have days where I cannot concentrate at all on work, or school so I just write about random things or come on here to at least vent about how miserable I'm feeling. I think the same, I can not have a good time or stop thinking about my ex when I am with other people. I think that I would rather be spending the time with her. and that it actually makes me worse when I am with other people. I know that feeling and it must be much stronger for you because you were with her for so long. You've been strong though because you're even letting go of the things that remind you of her. Some people cannot even let go of those. At least that means that you're accepting the change for good and not holding on to false hope like many of us foolishly do. Even though I did the breaking-up, I felt like I still wanted to hold on to things that reminded me of him but I knew I had to let go to be able to move on. Healing... At least I haven't cried today - lol. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 8 months out. Still think about her every day. The hardest days are when really good things happen in my life. I wish I could share them with her but I realize I have to celebrate alone. Link to comment
iBroken Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Damn how long was the relationship? It was around 4 years total with all the ons and offs....... Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Everyday...Broke up for a year now but we stayed in contact and even were fwb's til the middle of November. NC now, but it will take time since we stayed in contact. It is hard not to talk with her but I know it is only going to cause me more pain since she is dating someone else and only wants friendship. I need to heal so I can not be in contact with her. Link to comment
Spawn Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 2 years....now in 4th year, hardcore NC....sometime she comes in my dreams.....but now i don't feel a thing. Life's going on..hmm there was a time when even seconds felt like 1 earth year. LOL....now a days i can smile for whatever the relationship meant for me. RIP Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I USED to feel the way you did. My mind would always be racing about him. What he's doing, how's he doing, does he miss me? However, ever since i destroy my facebook, and don't work with him thoughts of him are not as much. I remember every single morning he was the first person i thought of, and at night my last. I don't know what has change for me to think of him less maybe because I'm busy with school, and friends. i don't have time to think about him. We officially broke up in September, but last contact we had was in January or in February. I really can't remember the date. So, been over two months now. I STILL get flash back memories, which in turns makes me cry too. Before I was worse, but as time goes by i really don't miss him as much. I think I'm finally heading to acceptance stage. Which making me really happyyy. : ) I think you would heal a lot better if you ignore his text. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 8 months out. Still think about her every day. The hardest days are when really good things happen in my life. I wish I could share them with her but I realize I have to celebrate alone. This here is very touching. Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 It's been a year and I think about her very rarely. NC helped the most, with me never breaking it to initiate....I did respond a few times to her contacts, then quit responding and things have been alot better. You have only been split up for 2 months, which is a relatively short time since you really loved your ex. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 It's been close to a year(wow). We never contacted each other after he left. He rarely crosses my mind. Link to comment
woodc5 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I think about her every day at some point or another. It's been a year and two months. They aren't sad or angry thoughts, just thoughts of her. It is what it is... Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Damn I don't feel as alone anymore considering you are all going through it as well. And what SA said is true. It's hard to get used to not having him there to celebrate with, even if it's just a small-something that I have accomplished. Though now everything seems like an accomplishment. Getting through the day without crying has become a goal, and meeting it seems like a huge accomplishment nowadays. However, I even miss crying to him which only happened once, but boy did he make me feel better. I miss trying to argue with him about nothing just to try to get on each other's nerves. It never worked. We just laughed it off at the end and ended up kissing. I miss everything. I wish I wasn't such obsessive. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I think you would heal a lot better if you ignore his text. I am starting to ignore more now but at the beginning I couldn't control myself at all there. I just ran to him because it felt right. He texted me a link to Bon Jovi's I'll Be There For You today and nothing else. Have you guys heard that song? I listened to it and nearly started crying. I feel so weak today. Link to comment
michelle21689 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I think about him a few times a day for a little bit but not as much as when we first broke up. It's been 2 months since the break up and honestly it does help to have a crush on someone else haha or else my ex would probably still be on my mind all the time. But there's some days where my ex enters my mind like today I just thought of all the good times we had... Link to comment
ZombieKisses Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 It's been two years for me.. We have no contact. He's married now and I've been in a committed relationship now for 6months today. I miss our laughter and humor Sooo much!!! I wish I knew if he still thinks about me too sometimes. Wish I didn't think about him as much now. Hard to focus on my current relationship 100% sometimes. Drives me crazy!! Link to comment
Destiny2112 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I still think of my ex daily, several times. And it's been more than 7 months since the break up, we were together for 3,5 years. Mostly the memories and thoughts of him don't hurt that much anymore, but sometimes it still makes me cry, how he ended things and that we aren't part of each others lives anymore and that I most probably will never see or talk to him ever again, since we were LD The past few days were worse again, since yesterday was his birthday and yesterday night I lied in my bed again thinking, what did he do on his birthday and that he was celebrating that day with his new gf, probably not even wasting a single thought on me...all that made me sad again*sigh* I'm wondering if the thoughts of him will ever stop?! I wished they would... It helps me to know, I'm not alone with feeling like this. I also feel kind of "abnormal" sometimes for still loving him and caring for him, although he doesn't want me anymore... Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I am starting to ignore more now but at the beginning I couldn't control myself at all there. I just ran to him because it felt right. He texted me a link to Bon Jovi's I'll Be There For You today and nothing else. Have you guys heard that song? I listened to it and nearly started crying. I feel so weak today. I LOVE THAT SONG. I sent to him a while back. He cried like a babyyy. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Nawww, you can never be "abnormal" you are human and are ALLOWED to feel these emotions. I can't lie those, it took me some time to accept this! x] Link to comment
GenoGeno Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 It sucks...after the new year in January I was barely thinking of her at all...felt like i just didn't even care anymore. I felt I had moved on. This resent occurrence of her talking to me though has made me start missing her again...I have no idea how that even happens but I wish she didn't contact me. Link to comment
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