Another straw on the "To Formula of Not" debate...

[OptomisticGirl]

That should extend to bars and clubs and the beach too........I have seen more boobs in those places than I ever saw applied to breast feeding mothers.. Just ban it altogether so there are no boobs any place and then no one will be insulted.

 

Oh I agree 100%. I mean I like to wear bikini tops and V cut shirts but some women.... *shudder* They hide nothing. I don't want to see ANY woman's boob.

[Fudgie]

That should extend to bars and clubs and the beach too........I have seen more boobs in those places than I ever saw applied to breast feeding mothers.. Just ban it altogether so there are no boobs any place and then no one will be insulted.

 

Oh, I agree. I'm not just making the "cover up" rule to breastfeeding mothers! It goes for everyone.

 

Unless you're in a specific, private ADULT place (like special strip clubs, not just any club/bar) or an ADULT nudist beach (that is marked), then everything should be covered. I don't like it when I'm at the beach (normal beach) and I see topless people going around. I'm like "hey...uhm, there are special beaches for that. why are you doing it here?" It's really weird. There are special "adult" places for people to let it hang out and I don't care there...because people who go to those places WANT to see them. But in general places...regular clubs, bars, beaches, anywhere..no.

 

General public isn't a good place for it for anyone, really.

[newwave]

This is funny but I agree with you. I have no problem with a woman breastfeeding, but I don't want to see the breast. I've seen women completely whip it out then when people got mad said "I'm feeding my baby". She of course got nasty and thought she could do what she wanted. I've seen many women feed their babies and you couldn't see the breast so I had no problem with it.

 

People say breastfeeding is natural and mothers shouldn't have to be modest about it. Well so is going to the bathroom but if I urinated or took a dump on a street I'd get arrested. If I masturbated on the street I'd likely get several charges and might likely be listed as a sex offender. Yet for some reason some women show their entire boob breastfeeding and this is ok. Women should be allowed to nurse, I just don't want to see your entire breast.

[OptomisticGirl]

Sex is also natural but you can get arrested for doing it in public.

[BellaStranger]

I may as well take off my pants and undies because they "restrict" me and I want to make a point. Maybe I want to feel the wind between my legs. Others be damned, I don't care what they think, no one is "hurt" by seeing a little vagina so I should do what I want and not be "restricted".

UNNECESSARY discomfort to others.

 

Actually, if u did that I would probably just look away and leave you to it- I'm simply a live and let live kind of girl. I personally believe this world would be a better place of we could let up and give people the freedom to make their own decisions rather than spending so much time worrying about how we can force our own morals and beliefs on the masses. Like someone else said, modesty is so subjective, in Africa woman have their breasts on show the whole time, in Iran, showing your hair is offensive. Personally, I feel the girls at the shops when it's 2 degrees wearing 4" mini skirts who's legs my bf just HAS to give the once over are far more offensive, but meh- if that's how they want to be seen that's their deal, I don't have to look!

 

That should extend to bars and clubs and the beach too........I have seen more boobs in those places than I ever saw applied to breast feeding mothers.. Just ban it altogether so there are no boobs any place and then no one will be insulted.

 

Agreed! The only places I feel forced to have to constantly look away from bare boobs is the beach and the hotel pool. These women are far more exhibisionist than a breastfeeding mother because their is no point to it and they want to be seen as attractive, sexual objects. A breastfeeding mother is feeding her wholly dependent child, it therefore loses the sexual nature completely- and therefore the awkwardness.

[OptomisticGirl]

 

 

 

Agreed! The only places I feel forced to have to constantly look away from bare boobs is the beach and the hotel pool. These women are far more exhibisionist than a breastfeeding mother because their is no point to it and they want to be seen as attractive, sexual objects. A breastfeeding mother is feeding her wholly dependent child, it therefore loses the sexual nature completely- and therefore the awkwardness.

 

I understand what the breast feeding mother is doing it's sexually motivated like girls at the beach, and I fully support her right to breast feed in public, but how could it not be awkward sitting in a resturant and you look over and see Jr. chomping away? Why would a breast feeding mother who is already probably going to get flak for breast feeding in public (which, she shouldn't. That child needs to eat like we do) egg the situation on by not covering herself? For me, I just see that as pushing the envelope. Why would a new mother want that kind of attention on herself, negative attention at that, when she simply needs to quickly throw a blanket over her.

[Fudgie]

Actually, if u did that I would probably just look away and leave you to it- I'm simply a live and let live kind of girl. I personally believe this world would be a better place of we could let up and give people the freedom to make their own decisions rather than spending so much time worrying about how we can force our own morals and beliefs on the masses. Like someone else said, modesty is so subjective, in Africa woman have their breasts on show the whole time, in Iran, showing your hair is offensive. Personally, I feel the girls at the shops when it's 2 degrees wearing 4" mini skirts who's legs my bf just HAS to give the once over are far more offensive, but meh- if that's how they want to be seen that's their deal, I don't have to look!

 

But I'm not in Africa...and I'm not in Iran either. I'm in America and I am talking about that. You know what's acceptable here and what may offend/make people uncomfortable, so why do it? Covering up is the polite, socially acceptable thing to do.

 

Your job isn't to "challenge different ideals of modesty". If you want to do that, start a blog or go to a strip club where the people there will like it. The job of the mother is to feed her baby. Why not do it in a way that will offend as few people as possible and cover up?

 

And yeah, I don't really like the mini skirts either. It's rather indecent.

[Batya33]

I think it depends on context. I was on a double date once where the woman breastfed with no coverup -she was sitting inches away from my boyfriend. In that case I think she should have covered up. Part of living in a society or a community is following whatever rules and standards there are in exchange for the benefits of living in that society.

[Seraphim]

The trouble with all this is that there is no agreed upon definition. You all say to cover up is just fine. On the other hand there are people who say no breast feeding mothers in public EVER while feeding and they believe that is just fine and moral too. If they had their way I would have never left my home ever when my son was a baby because he ate every 2 hours 24 hours a day. How is that fair that I would never have to got to leave home but a bottle feeding mother can go out any time she pleases? It is not. If a breast feeding mother can not feed in public no mother should. THAT is fair and equitable. However that would be the biggest stink in America. With no agreed upon definition of what is "moral" no one can tell anyone what it is.

[OptomisticGirl]

The trouble with all this is that there is no agreed upon definition. You all say to cover up is just fine. On the other hand there are people who say no breast feeding mothers in public EVER while feeding and they believe that is just fine and moral too. If they had their way I would have never left my home ever when my son was a baby because he ate every 2 hours 24 hours a day. How is that fair that I would never have to got to leave home but a bottle feeding mother can go out any time she pleases? It is not. If a breast feeding mother can not feed in public no mother should. THAT is fair and equitable. However that would be the biggest stink in America. With no agreed upon definition of what is "moral" no one can tell anyone what it is.

 

I think there is a huge difference in saying a breast feeding mother can't feed in public at all and askign them to cover up. I agree, breast feeding mothers should be allowed to feed in public with no hassle BUT I see nothing wrong with them taking the extra 30 seconds to throw a blanket over them. One can advocate for breast feeding mothers to feed in public because the child NEEDS it, they need to be feed. It's not as easy to advocate for a breast feeding mother why she doesn't cover up because there is no reason NOT to cover up. You have to feed your child, hands down, there is no moving on that but you don't have to do it uncovered.

 

As I said, why would a breast feeding mother who is already subjected to some ridicule for her decision to feed in public antagnoize the situation even more by not covering up?

[Seraphim]

The thing is there ARE people who do want to make breast feeding in public illegal, but bottle feeding would never be illegal. It just would not happen. And why not? Because a bottle does not include body parts and it is a way of forcing people to bottle feed or never leave home. Sounds like house arrest almost.

 

I do not know why they would not cover up. I personally did not want people staring at me. Mind you they still did it even though I had a huge blanket and you could not even see my son let alone anything else. I guess only they know their motivation for not covering up.

[OptomisticGirl]

I agree, it is horrible believe that, and I'm glad some areas around the world make it illegal to force a woman to not breast feed her children. But, in a way, what I think sets people off about breast feeding in public (the vast majoirty) is those mothers who don't cover up. They think they are pushign the envelope in favor of breast feeding in public when really, It hink it harms that cause. Because what defense do people use when they don't want women to breast feed in public at all? Women don't cover up. As I said, breast fed mothers can advocate their child needs to eat but it's hard to do that when there are those who ruin it for the rest.

[Fudgie]

I think as long as they cover up they should be fine. I agree, no one should be banned from it.

 

It's essentially the same thing...one from a bottle...one from a breast. You can't see anything if it's covered up so I don't really get it either.

 

My mom BF'd me in public while covered or left to go elsewhere. That's just how it was. She couldtnt starve me. She wasn't being rude or exposing herself so...how can that be banned?

 

Seriously, how can they ban if you can't see anything?

[Seraphim]

There are people who want to ban it for their own moral reasons or otherwise to force people to bottle feed because they do not want anyone to breast feed because they find it gross.

[lostnscared]

Honestly I think it's silly to be annoyed at someone not covering up when they breast feed. Seriously, only in this country are people so freaking PC about nudity and everything else. I don't care if a woman isn't covered up, I just look the other way. It's not like I'm going to get shot in the face with milk squirts, or be scarred from seeing a breast(which I already HAVE). It's not like I'm going to be traumatized or harmed by seeing a baby sucking a boobie(which is natural). I guess I just feel as though people find every reason to judge and criticize women--whether they are breast feeding or bottle-feeding. People don't have to look. Anyway, that's just my opinion. I think breast-feeding would be ideal for me. I would want to breast-feed my child if I was able to, and I certainly wouldn't give a rats-youknowwhat if someone saw me uncovered and were angry to see me that way.

[Batya33]

I wasn't offended because of PC- I felt it was inappropriate for this woman to have her breast exposed in front of my boyfriend who sat inches away and to look away would have meant not participating in the conversation. So, if a man has to urinate are you fine with him exposing himself to you while you're waiting in a line somewhere as long as he aims elsewhere? That's a natural bodily function too -so you should be inconvenienced by having to look away and guess when he might be done so that he can perform a natural bodily function?

[Seraphim]

It does not bother me either. I just do not look because it is not my business. It does not harm me at all. It does not bother my son at all because I never made it a huge issue when he was little. He was curious when he was little because he remembered being breast fed. He was curious when he saw his cousins fed the same way. I feel because I never approached it as awkward or gross or shameful that he does not see it as a huge thing. He also saw many many many kids bottle fed and he accepts that too. He had a bottle himself after he was weaned.

 

I agree people just want a reason to criticize other women because it is easy to do.

[sweetpea03]

I think it depends on context. I was on a double date once where the woman breastfed with no coverup -she was sitting inches away from my boyfriend. In that case I think she should have covered up. Part of living in a society or a community is following whatever rules and standards there are in exchange for the benefits of living in that society.

 

I think they should cover up no matter what. It's not difficult to put a blanket over your chest. I was walking with my little cousin to his soccer practice and saw him staring at something ahead of us. It was a woman breast feeding who was completely exposed, so his curious eyes went right to her. Not everyone wants to see these women's breasts. He is a 9 year old kid and gets to watch a woman totally exposed breast feeding. I don't think he should have seen that and I would have liked to keep him from seeing it. Just like you don't want to expose a child to seeing sex really early on(which is also natural), I think he should have been kept from seeing her breasts, while breast feeding at his age. A lot of people do not want to see the woman's breast, so an easy way to do that is to put a small blanket over you. It's just respectful and considerate of those around you.

[Seraphim]

What I do find interesting is that there is seldom any male criticism on these threads or even a lot of male interest. I only ever had 2 males criticize, my husband and his father and they do not believe in breast feeding at all. No other male ever criticized or even bothered to look. Almost all the comments came from other women. Women it seems just love to be critical of other women's choices.

[Seraphim]

Breast feeding is about feeding a baby, not sex. Sex is about sex, that is entirely different. People are making breasts sexual when it is about feeding a baby when they are not.

[sweetpea03]

What I do find interesting is that there is seldom any male criticism on these threads or even a lot of male interest. I only ever had 2 males criticize, my husband and his father and they do not believe in breast feeding at all. No other male ever criticized or even bothered to look. Almost all the comments came from other women. Women it seems just love to be critical of other women's choices.

 

Most men don't want to say anything for fear of getting attacked, though many do have an opinion on it. I know many guy friends who do not want to see a woman exposed breast feeding. They feel uncomfortable and at times can't just look away because there isn't really anywhere else to look. Like sitting at a table at a restaurant, is he supposed to look at the floor? It is just nice to be considerate and drape a blanket over so not everyone has to look.

[Seraphim]

I do not think they are going to get anymore attacked than a woman who has to express her views.

[sweetpea03]

Breast feeding is about feeding a baby, not sex. Sex is about sex, that is entirely different. People are making breasts sexual when it is about feeding a baby when they are not.

 

We have "privates", which are the sexual organs and for women their breasts, too. Girls are told early on to cover up and not walk around topless like a boy. We have rules in our society, where you are not supposed to expose yourself with any 'private part'. It's indecent exposure. It's fine if a woman wants to breast feed, but she should keep covered and not have everyone see her breast.

[Seraphim]

That is because people only see breasts with one function.

 

I am not saying I want to expose myself or ever did, but I do think people have a right to breast feed their baby anyway they want to. Everyone wants to have rules for everyone, but they do not like their own encroached on.

[sweetpea03]

That is because people only see breasts with one function.

 

I am not saying I want to expose myself or ever did, but I do think people have a right to breast feed their baby anyway they want to. Everyone wants to have rules for everyone, but they do not like their own encroached on.

 

This isn't a "new rule", it's one that is already there. To not expose a "private part", which is indecent exposure. A man can't urinate in public, which is not sexual and is a natural bodily function. We have rules for a reason and it's just polite for everyone around them if people cover up and don't expose themselves.