Another straw on the "To Formula of Not" debate...

[lostnscared]

Same here. It does not bother me either. It does not bother my mother. It does not bother my brother, it does not bother my brother's wife.......................

 

No, "common" decency is NOT universal even in the SAME country.

 

Exactly. I find it hard to believe that "common" decency is universal in the same country, if it was then there wouldn't be so many offended, judgmental, people. Thankfully there are people out there that understand this.

[Seraphim]

I'm very surprised at how angry people are at woman for breast feeding exposed. Very interesting. I never knew this is how people felt.

 

I knew they felt that way even COVERED.

[lostnscared]

That's great that it doesn't bother you, but because it does bother other people, it is respectful to not do that act and just cover oneself. I could see someone pee in public and it doesn't necessarily bother me, but because it bothers others, they should not do it.

 

So because of what others think, people should stop living their lives just to please those people? Wow.

 

I guess we have to agree to disagree on that one.

 

Thankfully people choices. I just wish others wouldn't condemn them for making whatever choice is right for them or their family.

[Seraphim]

Exactly. I find it hard to believe that "common" decency is universal in the same country, if it was then there wouldn't be so many offended, judgmental, people. Thankfully there are people out there that understand this.

 

 

Maybe we were raised in a barn I guess

[Lonewing]

So because of what others think, people should stop living their lives just to please those people? Wow.

 

I guess we have to agree to disagree on that one.

 

Thankfully people choices. I just wish others wouldn't condemn them for making whatever choice is right for them or their family.

 

Well, I actually have heard "hot" girls say that to ugly guys who creeped them out because these boys didn't meet their social appearance standards...

[lostnscared]

Maybe we were raised in a barn I guess

 

We could be aliens lol.

 

It's really no wonder there are so many people that are miserable, if they are operating under a belief that we all must do something, believe something, for the "sake" of others or for some supposed "universal" definition of decency, respect, etc.

 

Very sad. I'm glad I don't care what people think.

[Seraphim]

So because of what others think, people should stop living their lives just to please those people? Wow.

 

I guess we have to agree to disagree on that one.

 

Thankfully people choices. I just wish others wouldn't condemn them for making whatever choice is right for them or their family.

 

I tried to live my life to please other people. All I got was bitter and depressed and people always had more judgements no matter what I did to please. Now forget it. I live my life to let people live as they want to unless they are harming someone else. I also like to be left to do the same.

 

I thank God every day I was raised by a mother who is the least judgemental person I know.

[sweetpea03]

So because of what others think, people should stop living their lives just to please those people? Wow.

 

I guess we have to agree to disagree on that one.

 

Thankfully people choices. I just wish others wouldn't condemn them for making whatever choice is right for them or their family.

 

It's called being respectful. If I just did anything I wanted, then there would be a whole mess of problems. We can't do anything we please. There are rules/laws and societal norms. They are there for a reason and help to 'keep the peace'. Without them, people would damage property, urinate in public, expose themselves, etc. Not a place I would want to live in.

 

If you think everyone should be able to do as they please, ok, that's fine. But in reality, not everyone can do that and is good that they can't.

 

No one is condemning anyone, only saying to be respectful/considerate of others.

[lostnscared]

Well, I actually have heard "hot" girls say that to ugly guys who creeped them out because these boys didn't meet their social appearance standards...

 

I think a lot of people care a lot about what others think, or about doing things for the "sake" of others. Whereas I just don't feel that way. And thankfully so. If that were the case, I would have offed myself years ago. I'm often discriminated against, and there are always people that aren't happy about some choice I've made--I just can't please everyone or make everyone comfortable. At some point I'll make decisions that are in the best interest of me and my loved ones, and I'll live my life according to my own values and beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't like that or respect that. That's fine.

 

Just amazed that so many people are this upset about exposed breast feeding.

[lostnscared]

It's called being respectful. If I just did anything I wanted, then there would be a whole mess of problems. We can't do anything we please. There are rules/laws and societal norms. They are there for a reason and help to 'keep the peace'. Without them, people would damage property, urinate in public, expose themselves, etc. Not a place I would want to live in.

 

If you think everyone should be able to do as they please, ok, that's fine. But in reality, not everyone can do that and is good that they can't.

 

No one is condemning anyone, only saying to be respectful/considerate of others.

 

Again we'll have to agree to disagree. I'm not against some laws, and understand that they are in place for a reason. But we all have different beliefs, and values, and we all have different ways at which we go about our lives. I like that we have that freedom to choose. And I personally wouldn't give up that freedom just to appeal to everyone else. Like Victoria stated--when I was living my life based on others, and based on the way in which society told me was "right, polite, and decent" I wasn't happy. And with over a million americans depressed, that tells me that a lot of people aren't happy either.

[Seraphim]

The people who made comments to me too should have been "respectful". But they thought they would open up their ole mouth anyway.

[tinkerbellkj]

This is truly unbelievable. I'm actually shocked to see people comparing having sex, and urinating in public to breastfeeding! This is a tiny baby who needs to eat, and I'd be happy to see a baby eating no matter what way it happened. I'm sorry, I do not buy that you cannot look away, everyone looks away when they see things that are unpleasant. I don't like seeing rats in the train station, or people making out, but guess what? I just don't look.

 

EVERYONE has personal convictions and everyone on this thread has stated they would prefer to cover themselves. However, there ARE people who have different personal convictions, and maybe to others they are seen as 'rude', but who cares? Honestly. People do and say things that others consider to be "rude" and "crude" all the time. It's all how you as a person choose to respond to it, because that's the only thing you can control.

[Seraphim]

Exactly. The only person you can control is yourself and your own response to outside stimuli.

[sweetpea03]

The people who made comments to me too should have been "respectful". But they thought they would open up their ole mouth anyway.

 

Yes, they should have been respectful to you and been quiet, and I am sorry they didn't. I am not saying that they did a good thing and have never said anything bad about breast feeding in general. I only say to be respectful of how others feel and that they should simply cover themselves. These women have no excuse not to do so.

 

We'd live in a better world if we cared about others and not just ourselves...

[lostnscared]

Omigosh thank you for this. I too am baffled by how upset people are by this subject. It's odd to me, especially since a lot of the protests seem to come from other women. I had thought that as women we could at least understand(not necessarily agree) breastfeeding in public, apparently not.

[Seraphim]

Omigosh thank you for this. I too am baffled by how upset people are by this subject. It's odd to me, especially since a lot of the protests seem to come from other women. I had thought that as women we could at least understand(not necessarily agree) breastfeeding in public, apparently not.

 

That is why I said earlier that it is women who are overwhelmingly critical of other women for the most part. Some are not, some are.

It is a painful society for sure. I can only go with what I know is right and that is to to let people be who they are as long as they are not harming others. That is the only way of assuring I get the same treatment. Peace breeds peace.

[Fudgie]

All we are asking is that you cover up. Not BANNING breastfeeding in public...just cover up.

 

It's not the Spanish Inquisition.

 

And yeah, not all are offended. I understand that some of you don't care either you see privates or not. But issue is, that in America, many people do not feel the same way as you. When you say "well I don't care if I see breasts so why should I cover up?" you're being disrespectful to others who MAY feel offended. By covering up, people who DO want to see boobs don't care, and those who are offended will not be offended. It's a win-win situation.

 

I'm sorry you think that it's a personal affront to be asked to cover up but I really don't know what to say to you. Thankfully, decency laws are in place to STOP people from exposing themselves all the time so you can't do it.

It's very rude that you're doing something to bring attention to yourself and then yell "WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LOOK AWAY."

Excuse me, but why should I be forced to be passive and be subjected to someone's privates that I don't want to see?

 

It's sad that we live in a society that requires laws to make people be considerate. If you don't agree with them and want to BF without being covered, I suggest you go to another country with different decency laws.

 

Next time I see a mother expose herself when breastfeeding (ie not covering up), I will bring it upon myself to tell her to cover up and that I'm uncomfortable. This thread has reminded me that some people need to be reminded to be courteous of others, so next time, I will do that myself. she can go on and bleat about being prosecuted and she can go tell it a judge if she wants. But no one will be on her side.

[Seraphim]

Ok then, but if people speak up I hope they are ready for the same in return when someone does not like something about them and state because it makes them not comfortable.

 

Fair is fair right?

[OptomisticGirl]

All I'm going to say is when breast feeding in public gets banned, even for covered mothers, tgere will be no one to blame but those who refused to cover up. In 'making a point' they will ruin it for e(eryone. No one has said people should not breast feed in public, but the respectful thing to do is cover up. The same reason we say thank you, excuess me, yes sir, mo sir, you hold doors open for people, you don't rudely bump into people going down the street. It's respect. And if you can't be respectful of others, don't expect others to be respectful of you. Maybe itsbrcause I'm southern, I dunno. I will respect and be.courteous to someone until they are not to me.

 

Victoria, I'm sorry peoplr said something to you. They shouldnt havr. They should havr respected your right to breast feed in public.

[Fudgie]

eh, I've already had people pick on me for being with my boyfriend but I am not romantic with him in public. If I were (I want to), I'd make a lot of people uncomfortable so I avoid that sort of contact in public.

 

I don't like it when they pick on me for just standing next to him knowing that we are a couple, but I can understand them picking on me if I were to kiss him in public. So I don't do it. I love my boyfriend but I have no desire to subject people to public displays of affection which may make them uncomfortable.

[25something]

wow I just wanted to say wow so this thread can extend to many more pages =)

[Fudgie]

And I agree Victoria, those people were wrong to put you down for BFing in public while being covered up.

 

If BFing in public gets banned (covered up or not), then you will have the women who expose themselves to blame. They ruin it for everyone, they really do.

[Seraphim]

Sure, but I just see them as intolerant. There is intolerance everywhere sadly.

[lostnscared]

But who are you talking to? EVERYONE in here has said they would cover up. No one has said otherwise. The difference is that a FEW of us have said that even though we would cover up, we would NOT care or feel as though others are wrong for exercising their own choices(not covering up). People aren't able to grasp the idea that it's perfectly OKAY to have your own belief and to be okay with others NOT having your beliefs. It seems like the common sentiment on here is that "I believe this, others believe it, and therefore you should believe it too. It's what's right, it's what's respectful and it's what's decent--if you don't agree go to another country!!"

 

Wow Ok.

 

And who has yelled "look away". No one on here has stated that they breast feed without covering up. So no one has yelled anything to you. All we've said is that no one is forcing you to look at that woman--that woman isn't even forcing you. If you look at her then that is your own choice.

 

We don't really know what the women who DO breast feed--and don't cover up--think about what you, or others feel about her actions. We don't know why she has made her choice. But just as you want people to be considerate of you, I suspect that she'd want people to be considerate of her?

 

Just because we "defend" woman who choose to breastfeed without covering up, does NOT mean that is what we would do(as many of us have stated). It just means that we are open-minded enough to accept that others may not have the same beliefs as we do regarding breast-feeding, and we are okay with it. I am also okay with people being offended, with people bottle-feeding, or doing and feeling whichever way they feel about their lives.

 

I do think you can tell that "mother" if it bothers you, to stop. Just don't be surprised if she doesn't(I wouldn't stop doing something just because someone told me it bothered them).

[greywolf]

I have always wondered what the problem is with people seeing breasts. When I lived in another country, women breastfed in public and no one cared if they could see their breasts. A breastfeeding mother just wasn't a sexual thing to people.