Another straw on the "To Formula of Not" debate...

[Fudgie]

Again, my own mom did it with all 3 of us kids.

 

She never felt "threatned" or "punished". She did it to be polite.

 

More mothers need to be like her, IMO. If you're going to feed in public, use a blanket. YOU may not be offended by boobs but others are. I'm not offended by the "F" word but I don't use it in public. It's called being polite. More people need to learn how to do that.

[Seraphim]

I would NEVER breast feed my son in a stinky dirty bathroom. NO way. It is supposed to be an enjoyable experience to feed your baby and not a time to be worried about the smell of urine and feces and other things. Gah disgusting. I never exposed my breasts not ever. I still do not think women should be banned to a disgusting bathroom. Like Tink said in some what offends is subjective. I believe in fairness so if it happens to one it happens to all breast or bottle.

[Fudgie]

I hopethey cover up in public then so no one can see...at the very least.

 

That's why I said cover up OR in a bathroom...or in a private room if you're at someone's house.

My mom did both...cover up or bathroom. Depending on what she wanted.

 

When a woman covers it up, you can't see anything. They need to do that. All of them, always.

[Seraphim]

Well it is lucky not everyone has the same values about what is "proper" or not. It keeps the world interesting. There is going to be something about everyone that someone is going to find offensive. It just shows good grace to ignore it unless it is personally hurting you.

[Lonewing]

Or maybe we all just get over the fact that, OMG women have breasts... It's really easy to just not look. I know, it's a lot to expect, but...I'm pretty good at doing it.

[Seraphim]

Correct, just do not look and walk on by, it does not personally hurt anyone to walk on by and ignore it.

[Fudgie]

Or you could respect other people's feelings and cover up.

 

Not asking you to go into a bathroom. Just cover up.

 

It's rude to impose your own beliefs of what is modest on others.

 

If you reply to "kindly cover up" with "I feel punished because I cannot expose myself in public to everyone. I don't feel boobs are a big deal and therefore no one else should either" then I don't know what to tell you.

[Seraphim]

I have NEVER exposed myself in public not ever once........

 

It is also rude for ANYONE to impose on someone their belief system. Telling someone to cover up is ALSO imposing a belief system.

[Fudgie]

But think of it this way...

 

If you cover up, you won't offend anyone.

If you don't, you probably will.

 

By covering up, you are adhering to social norms about what is appropriate to show and therefore, are universally acceptable. You are being polite to everyone.

 

I'm glad you don't expose yourself. I think all BFing (breastfeeding for short) mothers should cover up.

In my mind, a mother who REFUSES to cover up obviously has some exhibitionist thing going on and is using BFing as an excuse.

 

For the records, boobs don't offend me. It's that attitude of blatant exhibition for the purpose of "making a point" about BFing and "FREEEEEDOM" and forcing others (who may be offended) to see your boobs just to make that point....that really bugs me. It's the height of rudeness....attention seeking and shock value. That's all it is.

[Seraphim]

However I did cover up and it STILL offended people. I got tutted at. I had even gone to a private room away from all other people in someone's house and still got told I was not appropriate. How nuts is that? That they would follow me to the room to bug me when they could have stayed in the other room and enjoyed the other people. But no they had to be a fruit and come in and bug me because they had some insane desire to be a controlling freak.

 

I just want people to be aware harressment is on both ends. People should just live and let live.

[sweetpea03]

I have NEVER exposed myself in public not ever once........

 

It is also rude for ANYONE to impose on someone their belief system. Telling someone to cover up is ALSO imposing a belief system.

 

I don't think it is "imposing a belief system" by telling someone to cover up. It's just that it is respectful to everyone around you if you do so and are modest. I have no problem with women breast feeding in public, but I do have a problem with women who do so by exposing themselves. Not everyone needs to see that and that should be done a little more privately by covering up. Since you cover up, there's nothing against what you've done.

[Fudgie]

What the heck? You covered up and you STILL got fussed at? I don't get it! That's messed up.

 

No way, my only problem with BFing in public is when women DON'T cover up and leave it all hanging out. If they cover up, I have no issues and will be totally neutral about it. Seriously, how can anyone fuss? You can't even see anything! that's ridiculous. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

Of course, if you fed through formula instead, you'd have to put up with people saying "WHY AREN'T YOU BFING YOU WILL HURT YOUR BABY!" Ugh.

[Seraphim]

That is why I get so intense about it because it is out there even though people claim to never see it. I guess they do not see it maybe because they have no personal experience with it. There are people who like to control on both sides. It would be easier though if people just let people live their life and only really get antsy about something when someone's life choices hurt someone.

[tinkerbellkj]

Or maybe we all just get over the fact that, OMG women have breasts... It's really easy to just not look. I know, it's a lot to expect, but...I'm pretty good at doing it.

 

I must agree with this. I see a lot of things that I just don't look at because I don't like it. If I were to BF, I would cover myself, however, not everyone is me. Some people are not going to ever cover up, and I think there are better things to get worked up about, honestly. I don't think they have a complex or a problem with being exhibitionist, I think they just don't care what others think. I am not saying that it's right or wrong, but it's just how some people are. There ARE worse things.

 

However, maybe I am biased, after working for years as a case manager in the foster care system, where I saw far more upsetting things than BFing in public. I guess I just don't see it as that big of a deal.

[Fudgie]

Like I said, as long as women cover up, I don't mind.

 

I've seen MANY women BF in public....only 2 of those completely exposed themselves. I was on a bus each time sitting pretty close. They got a lot of attention and they seemed to notice. I think they enjoyed it as they were all smiles and not even trying to be discreet even. I found that kind of gross but that's me. The ones who covered up...eh, no biggie.

 

It may not be worth getting worked up about but I still find it rather gross.

[sweetpea03]

I don't think it is gross, I just find it rude when women who breast feed don't cover up. Not everyone wants to see your breasts, so it would be respectful to those around them if they would just simply cover themselves. I nanny two little girls and when we were on a walk, there was a lady breast feeding, totally exposed. The girls did not look away and stared at her instead. I kept pushing them along, trying to get passed the woman. Then I had to go through what was going on and explain what she was doing and why and so on. I didn't want to have that conversation with the girls and would not have had to if the lady would just put a blanket over herself. It's a very simple thing to do. Now I see one of the girls pretending to breast feed her dolls every once in a while and the other one says it's gross. oye..

[Fudgie]

Yeah I totally agree. >

[sophie274]

I have to ask - what is so bad about having to explain breastfeeding to a child? That doesn't have to be an awkward conversation, and it's not as if you had to explain something gross or shameful.

 

I am not offended by women breastfeeding uncovered in public, and don't see that they should have to tent themselves to do so. It's not universally offensive at all. If we're going to start restricting in public every single thing that someone might find offensive, well, there would be many more restrictions. Perhaps women who refuse to cover up are trying to make a point, that they believe those asking them to cover up are being ridiculous. Maybe the women want to be able to see their children, which they can't do if they drape a blanket over the whole thing? I just can't agree that any women who breastfeeds "uncovered" (my experience is that there's not THAT much to see when a woman is breastfeeding, certainly not more than is frequently on display at bards/clubs) is doing it because it provides her with voyeuristic pleasure.

[Seraphim]

I do not think there is anything gross about how a baby eats or explaining about how a baby eats. They do not just eat in one way. Kids should know there is more than one way a baby eats, that way it is not "gross" or unusual and they have no pre conceived notions or prejudices. My son knows babies eat more than one way and has known his entire life. He has no issue with one or the other. There was no awkwardness explaining to him when he saw breast feeding. He is accepting of both methods and has no judgment about either.

[Fudgie]

Didn't say it was "universally offensive" but yeah, a lot of people would be uncomfortable, I'd guarantee you that. So why would you want to subject people to that? That's rather rude...you can just cover up.

 

I just don't buy the whole "OMG you told me to cover my boobs! I'm offended and RESTRICTED."

 

I may as well take off my pants and undies because they "restrict" me and I want to make a point. Maybe I want to feel the wind between my legs. Others be damned, I don't care what they think, no one is "hurt" by seeing a little vagina so I should do what I want and not be "restricted".

 

But you know, I don't do that. And yes, I seriously like going without pants. But you don't see me doing it public because yes, people would be offended/uncomfortable. It's just the polite thing to do - you cover up so you don't cause UNNECESSARY discomfort to others.

[Fudgie]

For the record, I don't think BFing in general is "gross"...just don't really think women (or anyone) should be exposing themselves in public. I find it to be a "gross" action because I find it highly rude to others. The end.

[sweetpea03]

I am not their parent and did not want to have that conversation with the girls and I would not have had to if the woman would have been respectful enough to just drape a blanket over her chest. It's a very simple and easy thing to do. The youngest of the girls is 3 and the other is 5. The younger one finds it gross and does not like it. I've talked to her a number of times now about it because of that incident that happened at the park. I also never said it was gross or shameful. I am only saying I did not want to have that conversation with a 3 and 5 year old who kept asking why this woman had her boobs out in public. No one else can whip out their breast in public, as that is considered 'indecent exposure', so why should a woman be able to do that just because she is breast feeding? I just think people need to be respectful. Not everyone wants to see someone else's breasts, so cover up a little.

[generaldiscord]

Why attack women who just gave birth, are full of hormones, very likely depressed, and are dealing with a completely new home situation? They don't need to feel any more inadequate. I don't really know anybody who thinks that formula is better, but I know many don't have time, energy, health, or the ability to breastfeed.

[OptomisticGirl]

I"m with Sweetpea. I, personally, plan on breast feeding for at least 6 months if I can and have no problem with bottle or breast fed BUT I do have a problem when a woman just wipes a boob out in public. Have some common respect for yourself and others around you. Do you really think the 80 year old man sitting accross form you wants to see that? This is the ONE area, I do believe breast feeding mothers use the 'poor me' card. And before I get slammed, I am not saying she shouldn't feed her child, nothing of hte sort. She should feed that baby in public when that baby cries but there is NOTHING wrong with throwing a blanket over you to feed them.

 

I think women who cry foul on breast feeding in public who don't cover up, are just doing it to cause attention honestly. With the stigma that is already on breast feeding mothers in public(which, there shouldn't be), why would you antagnoize it by not covering up? You don't see me wipping my boobs out in public wihtout covering up, what gives a breast feeding woman the right to do so?

[Seraphim]

That should extend to bars and clubs and the beach too........I have seen more boobs in those places than I ever saw applied to breast feeding mothers.. Just ban it altogether so there are no boobs any place and then no one will be insulted.