Another straw on the "To Formula of Not" debate...

[Seraphim]

I know it is not a "new" idea.

 

There are lots of "ideas" and people love enforcing them on other people. There are some things that I find gross too, but I do not express them because they are none of my business and it would hurt other people for me to express my view about their choices.

[lostnscared]

I wasn't offended because of PC- I felt it was inappropriate for this woman to have her breast exposed in front of my boyfriend who sat inches away and to look away would have meant not participating in the conversation. So, if a man has to urinate are you fine with him exposing himself to you while you're waiting in a line somewhere as long as he aims elsewhere? That's a natural bodily function too -so you should be inconvenienced by having to look away and guess when he might be done so that he can perform a natural bodily function?

 

There's a difference between someone doing it all in your face intentionally, and breast-feeding because the child is ready(and so is the mom). For most women the urge and need to get the milk to the baby comes in random times and moments, and I'm sure many of them WISH they could breast feed as they planned and in private areas, but sometimes that is not an option. It typically isn't sexual, or meant to make anyone uncomfortable. It's about the baby. For the most part, in my experiences, a majority of the women that DID breast feed didn't do with the intention of harming anyone, exposing themselves, and/or to create drama, but because they had to(the milk was ready to come out and the baby was hungry). And in those cases, yes I do feel as though people can look away if it's so bothersome to them.

 

To answer your question, I wouldn't care if a man urinated close to me, as long as it didn't get on me. If that man has to pee badly, there are no public restrooms in sight, and he wasn't doing it as intentional sexual move or to incite laughter from friends(young boys are notorious for doing this) then I wouldn't be bothered, and if I was, I would just like away. For the most part, the way men pee is interesting. They don't really have to take their penis out to pee--they can do it in a way that I wouldn't be exposed to it. It just isn't the biggest deal to me.

[Seraphim]

That is the thing. People are assuming they are doing it just to bother people.

[sweetpea03]

I know it is not a "new" idea.

 

There are lots of "ideas" and people love enforcing them on other people. There are some things that I find gross too, but I do not express them because they are none of my business and it would hurt other people for me to express my view about their choices.

 

It is just common courtesy to keep yourself covered.

 

No one should be exposing themselves in public, man or woman, for what ever reason. It doesn't matter if it is natural or not. Not everyone wants to see it and I don't want to feel as if I have to look away. I also would not like all of the kids exposed to that. I think they should be taught common courtesy themselves, so seeing a woman expose herself and breast feed isn't helping.

[Seraphim]

As I said before thank God there is more than one opinion in the world.

 

There are some life choices here too that I think are "unnatural" and I do not want to view it and I do not want to be forced to look away either, but I keep my mouth shut because I do not want to force my views on someone else or make them feel bad.

[sweetpea03]

As I said before thank God there is more than one opinion in the world.

 

There are some life choices here too that I think are "unnatural" and I do not want to view it and I do not want to be forced to look away either, but I keep my mouth shut because I do not want to force my views on someone else or make them feel bad.

 

It's great that many people have different opinions, but there still should be 'common courtesy'. You should respect those around you and that means not exposing yourself in public.

[Seraphim]

Everyone has an opinion though on how other people should live. Why? It is fear. It is not something one would personally do so it is "wrong" for someone else to do it. Humans notoriously do not like anything they would not do or anything that is different. It brings out fear in them. They are offended by "different".

[OptomisticGirl]

So would it be okay if i had sex in public then? In front of people? That's a natural human action just like breas5 feeding is. No one is saying women shouldn't breast feed in public, nor is anyone advocating that. However, IMO, those who dont cover themselves up arent doing it fir the 'greater good' but simply for attention, however negative it is. And then that hurts those breast feeding mothers who only care about feeding their child in public.

[Seraphim]

Again people are equating feeding with sex when it has nothing to do with it.

 

Believe me most people have NO interest in bugging other people. 99.9 % of the time EVERY single person on earth is thinking about their OWN issues and are not thinking " hm let's see how I can annoy others today". They are not looking for "attention".

[sweetpea03]

Everyone has an opinion though on how other people should live. Why? It is fear. It is not something one would personally do so it is "wrong" for someone else to do it. Humans notoriously do not like anything they would not do or anything that is different. It brings out fear in them. They are offended by "different".

 

I don't know of anyone saying that mothers should not breast feed their children, only that they should cover themselves while doing it. No one is "afraid" and "fearful" of breast feeding, we just don't want to see exposed breasts while going about our daily lives and have to watch the little one going at it for food. It's such a simple act to put a blanket over a woman's chest to cover up. It takes less than 30 seconds to do. Is that so much to ask of a person? It's just common courtesy to everyone around you.

[OptomisticGirl]

And whether people like it or not, breast are sexual. There is just n9 excues to be exposing yourself in public under the guise of breast fee#ING. I'm sorry. You can advocate breast feeding in public but there really is no good reas9n not to cover up.

[Seraphim]

Ok then I hope no one minds when I make comments about things I do not like that I think are gross. I am sure it would anger many people too.....but after all I should subject my views onto others if everyone else can do it.

[lostnscared]

So would it be okay if i had sex in public then? In front of people? That's a natural human action just like breas5 feeding is. No one is saying women shouldn't breast feed in public, nor is anyone advocating that. However, IMO, those who dont cover themselves up arent doing it fir the 'greater good' but simply for attention, however negative it is. And then that hurts those breast feeding mothers who only care about feeding their child in public.

 

The moment where a mother needs to breast feed the child can often be unpredictable, in the sense that it may be time for the milk to come out then and there and the baby is hungry. That is significantly different from public sex which may be based on an urge but that can wait and that isn't hinging on a hungry newborn who is completely dependent and in need of the milk. I also think you're exaggerating. A mom breastfeeding is nowhere near as crude as a couple having sex in front of everyone. Your comparing a "boob" in a baby's mouth because the baby is hungry, to two people stark naked humping because they are horny. A boob to a full naked body is significantly different, as is the "functioning" and reasonings behind both actions. As natural as they are, both are two completely different things. And If we're going to get into an argument such as the one you presented, I can say the same about men with their shirts off. Why is it okay for a man to walk around outside with no shirt on, and a gut hanging out over his pants, and a women who NEEDS to feed her child, to pop out one boob and feed the child is not okay? A bare chest is "sexual" for a lot of woman(especially a 6 pack) but yet that isn't an issue. See how those sort of arguments work?

 

Obviously it is common courtesy to cover up, but it's also common courtesy to not look. I don't think that those who don't cover up are doing it for attention. I think that is your opinion, but there is no evidence that supports that idea. I have breasts myself, so it's odd for me to get offended at seeing another woman's breast--especially if she is feeding her child, and is with her husband. I don't think breast feeding is sexual in the least(mothers who breast feed will attest to that) and most of them would RATHER breastfeed at home, but when the time calls, the time calls.

[lostnscared]

And whether people like it or not, breast are sexual. There is just n9 excues to be exposing yourself in public under the guise of breast fee#ING. I'm sorry. You can advocate breast feeding in public but there really is no good reas9n not to cover up.

 

A mother feeding a baby is not sexual. If people want to interpret it that way than kudos to them. I can assure you the mom is not getting aroused why the baby is sucking on her boobs. It may be sexual to onlookers who automatically link an exposed breast to porn or sex, but to a mother breastfeeding her child, it is far from sexual. Yes everything that makes sense points to the idea that a mom should cover up(why wouldn't she) but if she didn't for whatever "personal" reason(because we don't know, assuming we do know her reasons, and assuming they are sexual is very judgmental) then so be it. Look away, or better yet speak up to her--tell her how you feel. So many people are offended, just let it be known.

[OptomisticGirl]

I understand that, and I fully support a woman's right to breast feed her child in public, I myself will. But its common decency to cover yourself up. A spur of the moment, gotta get the breast out and babe on it is fine, but to sit there and feed after the initial latch on yes, I do believe you are doing it to cause a stur. Why would a woman subject herse/f to that scruinty if for no other reason? There is no reason not to cover yourself after the initial latching and im sorry, but a boob just hanging out, is going to be hard to ignore.

[Seraphim]

Correct. There was NOTHING sexual about it for me. I chose to feed my son that way. I did not choose when he was hungry HE did. If we happened to be out, we were out. When my son cried I had a let down response....so the feeding was going to happen regardless. No one has to whip anything out to go to the bathroom or have a sexual act in a place because they HAVE to. That is ridiculous. You CAN wait to have sex and you CAN wait to go to the bathroom. Yes, a baby CAN wait to eat however for a mother to breast feed with success she has to be calm or the milk will not release. Hard to be calm when your baby is screaming to high heaven because they are waiting to eat. Also they need to be calm to eat too.

 

You are right. I preferred to be at home where I was not stressed by people's nosy eyes and crappy comments.

[lostnscared]

I understand that, and I fully support a woman's right to breast feed her child in public, I myself will. But its common decency to cover yourself up. A spur of the moment, gotta get the breast out and babe on it is fine, but to sit there and feed after the initial latch on yes, I do believe you are doing it to cause a stur. Why would a woman subject herse/f to that scruinty if for no other reason? There is no reason not to cover yourself after the initial latching and im sorry, but a boob just hanging out, is going to be hard to ignore.

 

But what if that is just your perception of it? What if she is not trying to cause a stir and is just sick of people making her feel crazy for taking care of her child? We don't really know why someone women wouldn't cover up. Yes I would cover up, not because of other people's opinions, but because I myself am very modest and don't want my boobs to be public view. But who know's why another woman doesn't cover up... It isn't really my business as long as she isn't harming me, or trying to be intentionally sexual with it.

[Seraphim]

But what if that is just your perception of it? What if she is not trying to cause a stir and is just sick of people making her feel crazy for taking care of her child? We don't really know why someone women wouldn't cover up. Yes I would cover up, not because of other people's opinions, but because I myself am very modest and don't want my boobs to be public view. But who know's why another woman doesn't cover up... It isn't really my business as long as she isn't harming me, or trying to be intentionally sexual with it.

 

Yes, exactly how I feel. I am a very modest person and always covered up and you could not even see my son let alone me. However I can see WHY women would choose not to cover up. Why bother to cover up because you get the same crappy comments whether you are covered or not.

[Fudgie]

I just don't see how hard it is to cover up. Use the baby's blanket or something.

 

As I said, I don't care about BFing in public as long as the boobs are covered.

 

Bfing isn't sexual but breasts are to man.y.

 

Considering how easy it is to be polite and cover up, I am inclined to believe that the women who don't do it are looking for attention. Just another excuse to flash people. Really, I mean cmon....it's just common courtesy. And then they scream about being restricted and "punished".

 

Victoria, the people you should be bad at are the women who don't have the courtesy to cover up. They are the ones who ruin it for most women, who DO cover up. You will never find support in advocating for "it's ok to show my privates because I'm BFing" but you will be well received when you advocate for BFing in public while being sensitive to others (aka covering up).

[OptomisticGirl]

Yet again, not saying you should not feed your child when they are hungry. You most certainly should, however, even though you are feeding your child, you can be respctful of the people around you. Exposing yourself does nothing for the breast feeding in public movement but harm it.

[Seraphim]

The thing is you get unwanted comments even if you ARE covered up.

 

I do support the right of people to live their life how they want if it is not hurting anyone even if the life choice is not something I would do myself or if it even bothers me. I do not have the right to tell people how to live or what to do because I am "uncomfortable".

[sweetpea03]

A woman's breasts are considered "private parts", while a mans chest has nothing "private". We don't teach young girls to walk around shirtless because she will have breasts and has nipples. We teach people not to expose themselves in public because these areas are "private". That should go for all people, including women who breast feed. There is absolutely no reason for why a woman can't cover up. If I am sitting on a bus and the woman accross from me is breast feeding, where am I supposed to look? I find it incredibly rude that she is completely exposed and does not simply put a blanket over herself. I don't want to watch your child eat and don't want to see her breast.

 

A man can "need" to pee, but he is not allowed to urinate in public. It is against the law to do so and he can be fined and arrested. I really see no excuses for why a woman can't simply cover herself.

[sweetpea03]

The thing is you get unwanted comments even if you ARE covered up.

 

I do support the right of people to live their life how they want if it is not hurting anyone even if the life choice is not something I would do myself or if it even bothers me. I do not have the right to tell people how to live or what to do because I am "uncomfortable".

 

This has been your experience with breast feeding, where you still get unwanted comments when covered up(which is bad and am sorry you went through that), but many will not say anything if you are covered up. It's the ones who expose themselves that bother the majority of people.

[Seraphim]

I considered it rude people looked even though I was covered. Were they never taught not to stare? Kids are taught that too...I guess they did not learn that too well.

[newwave]

I have mentioned earlier, but yes I have seen women fully exposed. This is something that does make me uncomfortable. For instance one time a mother had no bra on and her shirt was pulled up. She could have used a covering but chose not to. She could have used a nursing shirt or one of those coverings that go over the shirt but she chose not to. I tried not to watch and avered my eyes, but it was a situation where it was almost unavoidable. Like everyone said, if the mother is covered I have no problem.

 

Speaking of men, I've noticed with guys I've dated and just friends, that most of them seem to have issues with breastfeeding. I know a few told me they hoped their wife wouldn't breastfeed for various reasons. I hate to mention this, but men have this idea that breasts are sexual and when they see breastfeeding sometimes it makes them excited seeing a breast. This is what a few guys told me. Yes, the mother is doing something non sexual, but many guys are turned on by breasts. The guys who seem not to have a problem are the guys not really into breasts or the ones who realize the benefits, or even the guys who expect their wife to do most of the babycare anyway.

 

 

I wasn't offended because of PC- I felt it was inappropriate for this woman to have her breast exposed in front of my boyfriend who sat inches away and to look away would have meant not participating in the conversation. So, if a man has to urinate are you fine with him exposing himself to you while you're waiting in a line somewhere as long as he aims elsewhere? That's a natural bodily function too -so you should be inconvenienced by having to look away and guess when he might be done so that he can perform a natural bodily function?

 

I once had a boyfriend who would get the urge to urinate and would do it everywhere. One time we were walking home (I was living with him) and we were a block from home and he decided to urinate there on the street. When I told him he should wait and use the bathroom at home he told me it was a "natural" thing. He had a friend who did the same thing and got arrested for indecent exposure.