Just how horrible is labor?

[sweetpea03]

My older sister was a screaming, colicky baby. It turns out most of her problem was because she was in intense discomfort due to an allergy to breast milk. Different situations call for different solutions.

 

 

Also, I intend to try for an epidural-free childbirth. I have a pretty high pain tolerance (I've competed athletically on broken bones before), so I think I can do it. The reason I want to do so? My older sister just had a baby and got an epidural. I want to prove I'm tougher than she is. Before anyone says anything, I know that's petty and stupid and childish. But if it won't put my baby in danger, I'm willing to be petty and stupid and childish over it.

 

LOL. Hope that goes well... My cousin did something similar to 'outdo' her sister-in-law and screamed bloody murder while in labor. Part of why I am all for an epidural.

[newwave]

Actually, we've made a lot of new discoveries over the past few years and formula keeps getting better and better. Some of the formula available today is VERY similar to breast milk. I think a lot of people assume it's not as good, but it's truthfully very close. There is nothing wrong with doing either way, breast feeding or bottle feeding formula. I was bottle fed myself with formula and have no problems. Really, what ever works best for the mother and baby is what should be done. I wouldn't pressure women into breast feeding, I don't think that's right.

 

Too many women are bullied into breastfeeding and that's why I think many stop early. I know for me it would probably be better for me to bottlefeed for many reasons. New mothers are already in pain, they don't need the bullying for not nursing.

 

i didn't know it was only 6 weeks maternity in the states. thats terrible.i don't think anyone is horrible for bottlefeeding. i and my brother were bottlefed also and i don't hold it against my mother and we are healthy.. i just don't think it should be the norm. and i think that it is so accepted these days that people don't think to educate themselves on the pro's and cons.

 

with breastfeeding all the pros are for baby, the cons are for mother

with bottlefeeding all the pros are for mother and the cons are for baby.

 

all doctors will advocating breastfeeding. yes of course bottle feeding is not poison, its just that research has shown that babies can develop much more problems when they are not given breastmilk. are there exceptions? yes of course. i am speaking generally.

 

and i certinly don't mean to 'guilt poor mothers into breastfeeding' . just trying to get woman to see that it IS BEST for baby, it is temporary, and it is what is intended for mother and baby. you know a leading peatrician told me that the milk of a woman who smokes and breastfeeds (while certinly not recommended,) the milk is STILL healthier then formula.

on that note, i'll sign off as we have veered away from the topic of labor.

 

I find this very hard to believe. Unless of course this doctor was paid off by those nutty La Leche league women. The same ones who think breastfeeding toddlers is cool. Someone once told me that the breastmilk of a drug addicted mother is better than formula. That is a lie of course. Also, women that use caffeine make breastmilk worse too.

[tinkerbellkj]

I have had an epidural in a previous surgery and experienced NO problems with it at all. That was 11 years ago, so I am sure that I would have seen some effects of it by now if there were going to be problems. That being said, I will be having one when I give birth (less than 4 months, ahhhhh!!). It's my birth plan, basically, so I won't be attempting to go naturally. I give people a lot of credit who do not have any medication, in fact it's fascinating to me.

 

As far as breast feeding, I cannot stand when people feel that it is their place to 'educate' other mothers about it. Most women see a doctor and are aware of the pros and the cons of it, and are able to make their own decisions. There is enough literature out there, and generally people will ask questions to their health care professionals and other family friends if they have questions. I personally, probably will not breast feed, as I had a breast reduction when I was 17 and was told that I will probably not produce. I am aware that their supplements that I can take to possibly help that, however, I doubt I will be going that route and will formula feed. I have gotten a lot of slack from others for that, however, it is my body and my baby, and therefore my decision. Same goes for the epidural.

[OptomisticGirl]

I hate women some times. We are the petiest creature on Earth!

[newwave]

Yes! I bet pregnant women get the most advice ever. I've seen from my pregnant friends how they were attacked about EVERYTHING. Several were attacked for not quitting their job (though in one case she makes more than her husband).

 

You reminded me of something. I remember my one friend couldn't breastfeed because of milk issues. Anyway the lactation consultant recommended that she get donated breast milk, hook it up to some tube, then attach it to the breast so the baby got nursing in. To me that sounded very bizarre. Why go through that when you can just bottlefeed? Besides I'd feel better my baby getting formula than donated breast milk.

[Batya33]

Yes! I bet pregnant women get the most advice ever. I've seen from my pregnant friends how they were attacked about EVERYTHING. Several were attacked for not quitting their job (though in one case she makes more than her husband).

 

I was treated very nicely. I live in a major city and people constantly got up to offer their seat to me on a crowded train, at work my office manager checked up on me and everyone was accomodating about the many doctor's appointments/ultrasounds I had to go to. I tried to exude calm and confidence, I didn't air personal stuff at work and in general I felt good and happy (other than some nasty digestive issues caused by all the changes plus the prenatals)

 

I've never found women to be more petty than men -I've found it depends on the individual. I think it's a stereotyping problem - and assumptions people make about women's behavior vis-a-vis their time of the month. The two bad experiences I had when pregnant were one from each gender and a pregnant friend who reacted badly when I told a waiter I didn't want wine. I didn't even realize she was drinking a glass of wine and anyway, my declining had nothing to do with her.

 

On the breastfeeding I found that people made wrong assumptions all the time about whether I was or wasn't and why not. No one outright judged me.

[charity]

I hate women some times. We are the petiest creature on Earth!

 

excuse me?

[lostnscared]

My friend, has had three babies. And had an epidural with each. She has had NO back problems whatsoever, and none of the side effects mentioned on that other page. Matter of fact--being that a majority of my close friends DO have children--I can safely say that NONE of them have back problems from epidurals. I think that is an option for the individual to decide and no one else. For me, I've always wanted to have a baby in a more natural setting, as I said in other threads--hopefully in a tub full of warm water, with a doula, and without an epidural unless I absolutely cannot take the pain. I admire women who go natural(though I honestly don't know any) but I think whether you are natural or have an epidural you STILL are enduring one of the most beautiful, challenging, and difficult experience ever--having a baby.

 

In terms of breastfeeding versus bottle. Again up to the individual. Some people can't breast feed for medical reasons. Others choose not to, because of their lifestyle or the pain. It's not my place to judge. I would love to breastfeed, but also wouldn't feel too horrible if I had a bottlefed baby as long as I could give it a go.

 

My mom breastfed me and my brother for 6 months each. With my two younger sisters she gave the formula and did not breastfeed. Ironically me and my brother BOTH had series of medical issues: asthma, allergies, tons of ear infections, ADD, learning disabilities, and we were BOTH very fat babies. So not sure what poster stated that breastfed babies are smaller and have less medical issues--apparently this was not the case for me and my brother. My two sisters who were bottle-fed were smaller weights, and NEVER got sick. They both also ironically go to Ivy League Universities--neither of them have ADD or allergies, and both are average weight still to this day. I am about 15 pounds overweight. And my brother is about 50 pounds overweight. Go figure.

[charity]

Yes! I bet pregnant women get the most advice ever. I've seen from my pregnant friends how they were attacked about EVERYTHING. Several were attacked for not quitting their job (though in one case she makes more than her husband).

 

You reminded me of something. I remember my one friend couldn't breastfeed because of milk issues. Anyway the lactation consultant recommended that she get donated breast milk, hook it up to some tube, then attach it to the breast so the baby got nursing in. To me that sounded very bizarre. Why go through that when you can just bottlefeed? Besides I'd feel better my baby getting formula than donated breast milk.

 

yes this is how much health professionals value breastmilk. but i'm sure they are all wrong and are just out to make poor women miserable.

[newwave]

yes this is how much health professionals value breastmilk. but i'm sure they are all wrong and are just out to make poor women miserable.

 

This wasn't a health professional, this was a nutty lactation consultant. Some of these lactation consultants do make women feel bad because she can't breatfeed. Just because someone is a lactation consultant doesn't mean they are a health professional.

 

I don't think women should be bullied into it. I've had friends who were insulted in stores because (gasp) they were buying formula. I probably will be bottlefeeding because I will be going back to work right away more than likely.

[OptomisticGirl]

Chairty that was not directed at you but the women, none who aee on here, who judge and bully other women. Charity that was jot directed at you but to the women

[BellaStranger]

A good friend of mine actually had very severe post natal depression because she COULDN'T breast feed. She tried...it just wouldn't happen for her and she had been so heavily brain washed into believing that breast feeding was the ONLY way to do the best for your child that she felt this 'failure' meant she was a bad mum from day one.

[newwave]

A good friend of mine actually had very severe post natal depression because she COULDN'T breast feed. She tried...it just wouldn't happen for her and she had been so heavily brain washed into believing that breast feeding was the ONLY way to do the best for your child that she felt this 'failure' meant she was a bad mum from day one.

 

Women often get this and it's not fair. This is the first generation where if women bottlefeed they are thought as inferior mothers which isn't fair. I've seen far more pro breastfeeding women push this more so than pro bottle feeding women. I've heard in many hospitals they don't even provide formula anymore because of the breastfeeding nutties and hospitals don't even teach bottlefeeding in classes either. Attacking women in the store buying formula (without knowing the story) as bad mothers is wrong.

[sweetpea03]

A good friend of mine actually had very severe post natal depression because she COULDN'T breast feed. She tried...it just wouldn't happen for her and she had been so heavily brain washed into believing that breast feeding was the ONLY way to do the best for your child that she felt this 'failure' meant she was a bad mum from day one.

 

Wow. how sad... It's horrible how many women get this idea pushed down their throats. Either way is fine. You can bottle feed or breast feed and your baby will be fine.

[sweetpea03]

Epidurals are very safe. It's very rare to have complications from it. I've already had an epidural myself, and am completely fine. No problems at all. It's not exactly fun having it put in, but the pain relief is VERY nice. haha. Though just a word for those having an epidural. They are not meant to be left in for long periods of time, as in more than a day. It can cause severe headaches and other minor complications.

 

Interesting how that happened with you and your siblings. My oldest brother was breast fed and I was purely bottle fed. We both had very high GPAs, same weight ratios, etc. Though I do have allergies, but I can't attribute that to being bottle fed since there are other factors that could have made me get allergies, so I don't know exactly what caused that. I just think it's a personal decision. Breast feeding or bottle feeding is good. The mother just has to do what works best for her and her baby.

[lostnscared]

Gah. More than likely I'll DEF be getting the epidural. Just got my period today. And had to leave work early because the pain was pretty bad and I felt like I was going to puke all over my computer screen. If I can barely take period cramps, I'll be needing the epidural.

[Lonewing]

One of my friends is jsut now pregnant, she went to her first labor class with a midwife this week. she said one of the best exercises in learning to let go of expectations occurred when they went into their handbook, read the pages about what to expect while in labor, and then ripped the pages out and threw them away.

 

My understanding is that it's different for everyone, but with good coaching and a solid support network - your significant other, the person who will deliver the baby, etc - it should come pretty naturally. So naturally, my uncle actually delivered his last son with his wife at home, they didn't even have a midwife present. True roughing it, but some people can do that. You, I think, would do well with the support of a good midwife - even if you deliver in the hospital. Put in the prepwork - mentally - and you should be fine!

[Batya33]

I've had two epidurals -one when I needed a procedure performed and one when I was in labor. No issues either time. My baby was mostly bottle fed, has no allergies yet (he will be 2 pretty soon) and rarely gets sick with only one bad cold (no fever) since he was 2 days old.

[Sanesoul]

A good friend of mine actually had very severe post natal depression because she COULDN'T breast feed. She tried...it just wouldn't happen for her and she had been so heavily brain washed into believing that breast feeding was the ONLY way to do the best for your child that she felt this 'failure' meant she was a bad mum from day one.

 

None of the women in my family were able to breastfeed. The girls in my generation all decided not to try so we wouldn't have to go through this. My daughter is beautiful and healthy at 8 years old.

[lostnscared]

One of the things I plan to do is also do hot yoga while I'm pregnant, it teaches you patience, to ignore the "panic" mode that your body gets, and most of all how to breath. I did hot yoga when I was unemployed last year for a month and a half, and it was great for the mind, and body, and taught me patience. And like I said, having a doula, I believe, will make the labor a bit easier on me(hopefully). I also realized today as I was speeding home to get to my nice bottle of pain medication for my cramps, that music soothes me and distracts me from pain. This may be another thing I'll be bringing to the hospital--my ipod. Gah, not gonna lie I'm scared. But I'm also thinking that once I hold my baby in my arms, it will make up for the h*** I'll be going through hours before.

[Batya33]

One of the things I plan to do is also do hot yoga while I'm pregnant, it teaches you patience, to ignore the "panic" mode that your body gets, and most of all how to breath. That and swimming are also great ways to exercise. And like I said, having a doula, I believe, will make the labor a bit easier on me(hopefully). I also realized today as I was speeding home to get to my nice bottle of pain medication for my cramps, that music soothes me and distracts me from pain. This may be another thing I'll be bringing to the hospital--my ipod.

 

You might want to check whether the heat is safe for the baby and you - I was told for example to keep my showers warm but not hot. I had a post-birth doula who in our opinion was a big waste of money and she ended up behaving in an uncaring way(but my friend loved her). During labor what helped was the epidural, ice chips , squeezing my husband's hand. We had CDs to take with us but forgot them since I went into labor early and alone. I took the classes before -they were of negligible value I found.

[lostnscared]

You might want to check whether the heat is safe for the baby and you - I was told for example to keep my showers warm but not hot. I had a post-birth doula who in our opinion was a big waste of money and she ended up behaving in an uncaring way(but my friend loved her). During labor what helped was the epidural, ice chips , squeezing my husband's hand. We had CDs to take with us but forgot them since I went into labor early and alone. I took the classes before -they were of negligible value I found.

 

In my bikram yoga class, the instructor was pregnant actually. I think she probably had the baby by now.

 

You didn't like the Doula? Hmmm. That kind of concerns me. One of my friends sister's recently had a baby and had a doula and felt that it helped her immensely.

 

Oddly enough when I'm in pain I'm a very mean person, and don't want to be touched, talked to, at all. For instance I had bad cramps today, and just hearing my bosses voice p**sed me off. I needed to get away and be by myself so I could deal with the cramps. I wonder if I would want to hold my hubbie's hand during labor or if I would be too angry and in pain to.

[newwave]

I do yoga and was told by my instructor that yoga is very good for pregnancy. I never go anywhere without my iPod so that's a given, I'll probably also take my Gameboy as well because that calms my nerves.

[Batya33]

In my bikram yoga class, the instructor was pregnant actually. I think she probably had the baby by now.

 

You didn't like the Doula? Hmmm. That kind of concerns me. One of my friends sister's recently had a baby and had a doula and felt that it helped her immensely.

 

Oddly enough when I'm in pain I'm a very mean person, and don't want to be touched, talked to, at all. For instance I had bad cramps today, and just hearing my bosses voice p**sed me off. I needed to get away and be by myself so I could deal with the cramps. I wonder if I would want to hold my hubbie's hand during labor or if I would be too angry and in pain to.

 

I would be concerned about Bikram yoga while pregnant also because at least when I was pregnant I wasn't ever "hot" but I was already drinking 11 glasses of water a day just to stay hydrated. with Bikram you'd probably need 8 glasses just for the class. Obviously if your doctor says it's ok then go for it. There are plenty of prenatal yoga classes.

 

Doulas are varied in what they do, their personalities,etc. And they can be quite expensive. We had ours only for post-birth.

[lostnscared]

I would be concerned about Bikram yoga while pregnant also because at least when I was pregnant I wasn't ever "hot" but I was already drinking 11 glasses of water a day just to stay hydrated. with Bikram you'd probably need 8 glasses just for the class. Obviously if your doctor says it's ok then go for it. There are plenty of prenatal yoga classes.

 

Doulas are varied in what they do, their personalities,etc. And they can be quite expensive. We had ours only for post-birth.

 

 

The first day I ever did Bikram yoga, I remember thinking to myself--will I make it out alive? It was so hot and the class itself was 90 minutes long. The room temperature was 110. The first few times, I did guzzle two water bottles. By my fourth time, I only drank one water bottle, and drank it sparingly in the class. The nice thing about the Bikram yoga class was the fact that if you could simply lay down and get into a certain position, to relax and calm yourself, if you felt too hot, dizzy, or couldn't do a pose.

 

The instructor was pregnant herself(visibly so) and she was able to do it. But I would probably talk to my doctor before I did it.

 

I would only get a Doula for the labor, because I've seen the prices and I wouldn't want to pay for one, beyond the labor.