Just how horrible is labor?

[sweetpea03]

Err, it bothers me when people get so freaked out about epidurals and the possible side effects. I think some women try to scare others into not having an epidural, like by saying you can get back problems for life, which is SO rare. There is just so much misinformation about it. Epidurals are pretty safe and are used often, not just for labor but for other reasons as well. I had an epidural after one of my surgeries and it was great pain relief that let you be in the room and not feel 'fuzzy' or out of it as you would feel with drugs. I know for myself, I will have an epidural when I am in labor. I don't want to put myself through intense pain if I don't have to. I have a high tolerance for pain. I've already been through multiple surgeries and I know I can handle pain, but I would rather feel comfortable during the process of labor. And yea, after a point in labor, depending on how dilated you are, you can no longer get an epidural.

[OptomisticGirl]

^^^I belieeve its five centimeters. I know with my best friend it was. They almost didn't give her one bc they were slow about getting in there and she was almost dialated five.

[truegrit]

After 4 kids and never hardly any labor........delivered quickly the labor pain wasn't bad but the actual birth HORRIBLE unbelieveable pain.........enough said glad I don't have to do it ever again I always said being pg was a dream, I felt wonderful during all my pregnancies it was after they came out for the next 18 years that was the problem. I wouldn't trade em for the world but have often wondered if I would go thru it all again. Never mind not a nice thing for a mother to think about.

[sweetpea03]

^^^I belieeve its five centimeters. I know with my best friend it was. They almost didn't give her one bc they were slow about getting in there and she was almost dialated five.

 

I couldn't remember the number off hand. Also certain doctors will do it differently, some won't let you get that far and refuse it at an earlier point. It depends on the doctor, too.

 

Though really, epidurals are there for a reason. If they were truly very dangerous, no one would be allowed to use them. I think it's sad that some women will try to make others feel bad for wanting to have an epidural, as if she is a "bad mother" or something if she does.

[newwave]

Your husband sounds like a great guy. I know I sound cynical but have seen so many friends go from being balanced to be mother obsessed while their husband's did little. Most of the guy's I met were the same way. I actively seek out men who would be involved because I know with my temperment I'd get irritated with a husband who did little. I think this ties into why I tend to date guys who aren't career obsessed.

[OptomisticGirl]

I couldn't remember the number off hand. Also certain doctors will do it differently, some won't let you get that far and refuse it at an earlier point. It depends on the doctor, too.

 

Though really, epidurals are there for a reason. If they were truly very dangerous, no one would be allowed to use them. I think it's sad that some women will try to make others feel bad for wanting to have an epidural, as if she is a "bad mother" or something if she does.

 

I agree. Neither is wrong in the matter but I hate women who use the 'epidurals are the devil' to scare other women. Ain't no one scaring me. I don't want to feel the pain. There is risk in EVERY pregnancy, and it's such a risk because we are all different creatures, what works for one won't work for the other... what goes wrong with one won't go wrong with the other. It really is all a guessing game when it comes to decisions.

[newwave]

Btw I can see both points in the natural birth versus epidural. To me it's like the breast vs bottle debate in that whatever works for you. I would like natural if possible but it's not always possible. That's just I am terrified of not walking as well as I do.

[sweetpea03]

Btw I can see both points in the natural birth versus epidural. To me it's like the breast vs bottle debate in that whatever works for you. I would like natural if possible but it's not always possible. That's just I am terrified of not walking as well as I do.

 

Yea, pretty much. I just don't like all of the misinformation that is out there and the women who try to scare others into not having an epidural with extreme cases. It's extremely rare to have a case where the epidural causes major damage. I've already had an epidural, not for pregnancy, but have in any case and know what it's like. If you trust your doctor, then it should never be a problem. I figure, why put myself through horrible pain if I don't have to. I'm all for having a comfortable as possible labor and delivery.

[newwave]

Yea, pretty much. I just don't like all of the misinformation that is out there and the women who try to scare others into not having an epidural with extreme cases. It's extremely rare to have a case where the epidural causes major damage. I've already had an epidural, not for pregnancy, but have in any case and know what it's like. If you trust your doctor, then it should never be a problem. I figure, why put myself through horrible pain if I don't have to. I'm all for having a comfortable as possible labor and delivery.

 

That's why it's best to ask doctors. There is too much mis information on everything online regarding pregnancy from this idea that being 40 automatically means you'll have a disabled baby, to that formula has poison, to the epidural. I know that if I get pregnant (or get close to it) I will talk to my doctor.

[sweetpea03]

That's why it's best to ask doctors. There is too much mis information on everything online regarding pregnancy from this idea that being 40 automatically means you'll have a disabled baby, to that formula has poison, to the epidural. I know that if I get pregnant (or get close to it) I will talk to my doctor.

 

You can get reliable info online, but you have to know where to look. And it can also be hard to read some of the medical terminology, so you have to know how to understand it, too. lol. It's really easier to talk with your doctor. I'm just a medical nerd, so I read through medical journals from time to time.

[charity]

Btw I can see both points in the natural birth versus epidural. To me it's like the breast vs bottle debate in that whatever works for you. I would like natural if possible but it's not always possible. That's just I am terrified of not walking as well as I do.

 

i have no problem with the epidural, but i wouldn't compare it the breast/bottle debate. epidural stops what is the worse pain you will ever be in. i get that.

now breast feeding is another thing altogether. i don't agree that is is about ''whatever works for you''. it should be 'whatever works for your baby'. too many women choose not to do it simply because its not convenient to them. regardless of what formula can and does do to a little baby. i've heard so many women talk about having to change formula so many times cause it wasn't agreeing with the baby and making baby sick. like what?.... why would you take that chance when you can happily breastfeed and give your baby the EXACT milk that is intented for it. that is what we mothers are designed to do. yes breastfeeding can sometimes be uncomfortable and a bit painful at the beginning(ok a lot), but it usually becomes pain free and actually a truly lovely experience for you and baby.

there are a lot of sacrifices in parenting but they are there for the well being of your baby.

.

[BellaStranger]

I am not against epidurals either and would never dream of thinking anything less of a woman who chose to have one. I just don't want one! It might be more to do with my debilitating fear of needles than my dream to be a martyr to my cause... I'm under no illusion that it won't be the most ridiculous pain ever but it can't last forever and I'd just rather stick it out than have a needle in my back- personal choice.

[OptomisticGirl]

For a lot of women, who like go bacxk to work, breast feeding is just not an option. I don't think it has to do with just the baby, the mother has to take into effect how she feels about it. Because if the mother is unhappy and depressed, how is that going to helpo the baby? And babies don't always do so well on breast feeding either. I itend to try breast feeding to begin with but eventually my child will go on formula. I was raised on formula, my siblings were, my niece was and my nephew is. No adverse side effects. And I don't think the mother sacrificing whether she's comfortable doing it or not is a sacrifice she should make, especially at the beginning. As I said, many women don't ( and can't) do it. If a woman can't produce enough milk naturally (like my mom, she couldn't breast feed us past a certain point because she just couldn't supply enough milk) does that mean she isn't sacrificing enough for her children? No. +

[SayWhen]

Regarding the pain of labor, I can't say I know since I've never experienced it. However, my mom was 8cm dilated with my brother before she even realized she was in labor. She went into the hospital and after progressing to 9 3/4cm, she simply stopped dilating. She was stuck at 9 3/4cm for about ten hours...which means ten hours of back labor. She refused pain meds and my brother was born healthy and wide awake. With me, she had labor induced and refused pain meds. She said it is bearable when you think of the outcome...a healthy baby. Plus, women have birthed for millions of years without epidurals. True, but I think we came up with the epidural for a reason!!! Personally I know my pain threshold is VERY low so I will absolutely consider an epidural. It is a relatively safe procedure...and I think if I feel I'm dying from pain my labor will be far less enjoyable than if I can relax and give birth without such a whopping amount of pain. I have heard very few problems regarding babies and epidurals...yes it effects the baby but the effects wear off.

[OptomisticGirl]

I agree. I want to remember the birth of my children with some what of a happy experience, not because I was screaming from pain.

[SayWhen]

I think I would try to "tough it out" but frankly if it gets unbearable there is no way I am refusing pain medication. When I got my tattoo done I almost threw up from the pain, and I got extremely bad cold sweats and almost passed out. That was only for 2.5 hours of pain FAR less bad than labor...so it's likely I'll need the epidural. Though I'll admit that huge needle in my back isn't all too appealing either

[OptomisticGirl]

I think I would try to "tough it out" but frankly if it gets unbearable there is no way I am refusing pain medication. When I got my tattoo done I almost threw up from the pain, and I got extremely bad cold sweats and almost passed out. That was only for 2.5 hours of pain FAR less bad than labor...so it's likely I'll need the epidural. Though I'll admit that huge needle in my back isn't all too appealing either

 

lol, no question about it, I want it asap. I told CS that was his very first job once we got to the hospital, to get me an epidural before I dilate five cm.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Women are often shunned for using epidurals and it's just sad.

 

It's really bad when a woman decides half way through labor that she's changed her mind but it's too late to administer one.

[Cognitive_Canine]

This is exactly the guilt that mothers are put through constantly after the baby is born. Of course they want to do everything possible for the baby but breast feeding is not an option for a lot of working mothers.

 

Also, the public is so demanding of pregnant and new mothers. 'what's wrong with you? Breast feed your child, woman! Ewwwww. Not here! You can't do it in public! What are you doing outside of the house anyway?!?'

[Firiel]

My older sister was a screaming, colicky baby. It turns out most of her problem was because she was in intense discomfort due to an allergy to breast milk. Different situations call for different solutions.

 

 

Also, I intend to try for an epidural-free childbirth. I have a pretty high pain tolerance (I've competed athletically on broken bones before), so I think I can do it. The reason I want to do so? My older sister just had a baby and got an epidural. I want to prove I'm tougher than she is. Before anyone says anything, I know that's petty and stupid and childish. But if it won't put my baby in danger, I'm willing to be petty and stupid and childish over it.

[charity]

i'm not referring to woman who go back to work immediately after the birth, that is rare i think. most woman are off work for anything from 3 months,6 or even 12 after the birth. so yes i think these woman should breastfeed for that time. i'm sorry ,i know people get very offended by this BUT this is a fact. formula is not even half as good for babies as breast milk.it can cause so many illness,allergies, colic, thrush, obesity. this is a raw baby we are talking about. they need breast milk, it is just what is intended for them and i really believe that this step we have taken to make feeding our baby more easy and convenient for us is not a good step at all.

 

as for people carrying on about not doing it in public, well seriously who can take that seriously, in that case you have to be strong and know that what you are doing is right. just ignore those people. i breastfed both my kids for 1 year. at the beginning it was hard and everyday i felt like giving up. i kept thinking, one more day. then after 3 weeks all just clicked into place. i had 6 months off then went back to work. then i expressed at work(this was inconvienent but doable). i breastfed in public, and i'm sure i never offended anyone,most women are very discreet. yes, i was a bit trapped in the sense that i couldn't just pick up and head off somewhere without planning ahead for baby. but you know, its only temporary. this is just something that comes with having a baby and taking care of it.

 

as for baby's being allergic to their mothers own breastmilk, this is highly rare ,esp compared to the allergies caused by artificial milk.

[OptomisticGirl]

Actually it is not rare in this day in age. Maternity leave in the States for the most part is six week. WEEKS. And I'm sorry but if formula was so horrible for babies, they wouldn't disperse it. The fact is can breast feeding increased your chid's immune system? Yes. Does this mean people SHOULD do it? No. It's people who say women should and that formula is bad is what pressures poor women into breast feeding, like giving their child formula is wrong. I was given formula as a child and am a healthy adult. If people dont' want to give their kids formula by all means do so but don't try to scare other mothers into thinking they are horrible if they give their child formula.

 

Also, I have known many breast fed babies who developed thrash and were colic. This is NOT linked to simply just formul and anyone who thinks so is clearly not doing reserch. As with allergies. You are either born with them or develop them and, yet again, I have a friend whose child was breast fed and has allergies. And obesity occurs when the parent feeds the child too much, which can just as easily be done while breast feeding.

[charity]

i didn't know it was only 6 weeks maternity in the states. thats terrible.i don't think anyone is horrible for bottlefeeding. i and my brother were bottlefed also and i don't hold it against my mother and we are healthy.. i just don't think it should be the norm. and i think that it is so accepted these days that people don't think to educate themselves on the pro's and cons.

 

with breastfeeding all the pros are for baby, the cons are for mother

with bottlefeeding all the pros are for mother and the cons are for baby.

 

all doctors will advocating breastfeeding. yes of course bottle feeding is not poison, its just that research has shown that babies can develop much more problems when they are not given breastmilk. are there exceptions? yes of course. i am speaking generally.

 

and i certinly don't mean to 'guilt poor mothers into breastfeeding' . just trying to get woman to see that it IS BEST for baby, it is temporary, and it is what is intended for mother and baby. you know a leading peatrician told me that the milk of a woman who smokes and breastfeeds (while certinly not recommended,) the milk is STILL healthier then formula.

 

 

 

on that note, i'll sign off as we have veered away from the topic of labor.

[OptomisticGirl]

What is best is differed from situation to situation though. Therefore nothing can ever be 'for the best' because each individual situatoin needs to be looked at. Is formula the norm? Yes, and mostly because women have to go back to work and for some, they just don't want to breast feed because for some women it IS painful and is painful due to a medical condition. I for one want to breast feed my children but I can also udnerstand a woman who wouldn't want to. While the babies needs should always be looked after, at some point the mother also has to do what feels right for her because if the mother is unhappy, the child will pick up on that.

[sweetpea03]

i'm not referring to woman who go back to work immediately after the birth, that is rare i think. most woman are off work for anything from 3 months,6 or even 12 after the birth. so yes i think these woman should breastfeed for that time. i'm sorry ,i know people get very offended by this BUT this is a fact. formula is not even half as good for babies as breast milk.it can cause so many illness,allergies, colic, thrush, obesity. this is a raw baby we are talking about. they need breast milk, it is just what is intended for them and i really believe that this step we have taken to make feeding our baby more easy and convenient for us is not a good step at all.

 

Actually, we've made a lot of new discoveries over the past few years and formula keeps getting better and better. Some of the formula available today is VERY similar to breast milk. I think a lot of people assume it's not as good, but it's truthfully very close. There is nothing wrong with doing either way, breast feeding or bottle feeding formula. I was bottle fed myself with formula and have no problems. Really, what ever works best for the mother and baby is what should be done. I wouldn't pressure women into breast feeding, I don't think that's right.