Kids or no kids?

[lostnscared]

Lol. I want them to get breast milk but after six months I'm.fine with formula. My mom was only able to breastfeed for three months with us.

 

My mom breastfed my brother for a year, and me for 6 months, my other sister for 3 months, and my little sister she just gave her formula lol. I want to be able(if I can) breastfeed all three children for a least a year. And then transition them to formula or regular milk.

[sweetpea03]

^^because they start getting teeth and I have heard horror stories, lol. Plus it puts all the food givinh on me. CS and i agreed that while I breast feed, he will get up to burp the baby and put them back to sleep as a means to help me out.

 

LOL. totally agree with this...

 

I was not breast fed at all, strictly on formula. Both of my brothers were breast fed for a little while. They don't have allergies and I do. Not sure if it's related, haven't had the time to do research on it, but I would breast feed for a few months and then stop.

[lostnscared]

My brother and I were breastfed the longest and ironically we both have ADD and the highest IQ's in the home. On the other hand me and my brother also suffer from allergies, and mental health issues. Who know's if there is a correlation. I was also a pretty chubby baby(I had chubbycheeks) as did my brother, and both my sisters that barely were breastfed were very "average" and "small" in weight.

[Batya33]

I read these and laugh a little bit. It's all well and good to plan "ok if I breastfeed then you give the baths/change diapers" but you never know till the time comes -my husband is uncomfortable with the bathing (fear of dropping him) and I'm ok with it. He's happy to help change diapers when he is around but I do it faster/more efficiently. We bought all sorts of expensive pumps/oils/pillows for breastfeeding and then I couldn't. I think flexibility is the best trait to have when you're new parents!

[Lyan08]

If you wanted kids - did you always know you wanted kids?

ALWAYS wanted kids.

 

Why did you want kids? After having kids have you ever regretted your decision?

 

I just felt it was what I was born for. Kids are a lot of work and a responsibility that some people either don't want or don't handle well. I have had struggles, but i believe each of my children was a gift from God and I have no regrets in keeping them all. I wish I was a better manager and was equipped to have had more. I always wanted a house full, but found after having 2, that it was enough.

 

People have lots of doubts and regrets in life. Having kids, not having kids is probably one of the BIGGEST ones. But I think most people with children--even the ones that were unplanned-- can't imagine life without them. If you don't REALLY want to be a mother, and aren't willing to make sacrifices, it's okay to not have kids.

[Lyan08]

Why only 6 months? LOL. I believe most doctors say that you can breast feed up until the child turns 2(if you want). My goal would be to breast feed for a year and a half(if I could) per child.

 

I am SAHM, and I breastfed my oldest till 2 1/2 and am currently nursing a 25 month old, who I am sure will nurse several more months.

 

Extended breastfeeding has HUGE benefits. My youngest has had one ear infection and a several colds, but has avoided stomach viruses and strep that went around. I think it is best in every way. EXCLUSIVE (no other food) breastfeed for 6 months.

 

Child led weaning is my goal, but I have limits! I don't want to nurse a 5 year old!!

[Applewhite]

???

 

*confused*

[Unknown1607307972]

LOL. totally agree with this...

 

I was not breast fed at all, strictly on formula. Both of my brothers were breast fed for a little while. They don't have allergies and I do. Not sure if it's related, haven't had the time to do research on it, but I would breast feed for a few months and then stop.

 

My best friend was never breastfed and she has an incredibley good immune system. My little brother was only breastfed for a couple of weeks and he's a very healthy kid too. I could give more examples of healthy people who were only fed on formula.

 

I think some people try to blame women who don't breast feed for any illnesses their child may have and really I don't believe that's true. If someone feels they want to breastfeed their child and feel it's best then good for them but it's not fair when some people make other women look like horrible mothers just because they don't want to breastfeed. It should be up to the individual mother.

 

I myself was breastfed till I was six months old.

[OptomisticGirl]

^^I agree. I mean yes, there are studies shown that breastfed babies have better immune systems but that shouldn't mean it should be the norm. Formula fed babies can be just as healthy, and one must also take into account the circumstances of the unhealthy babies birth. Were they premature? Was there complications? Did they develop a disease?

 

I also agree women shouldn't be judged for not wanting to breast feed. Every child is different and will always react differently, breast fed or not.

[newwave]

Agree with both comments. I've had friends who couldn't breastfeed and were literally attacked for it by strangers. One was visited by a lactation consultant and when my friend said she didn't want to do it, that lady started telling her she was a bad mother. I mean she was just recovering from childbirth and that was mean. Another friend went into the formula section and some lady started telling her how rotten she was. I've heard other stories about it. Yes breastfeeding is generally best but many brands of formula are pretty close. Not for every women yet women who don't breastfeed are attacked for being bad mothers. There was a time where breastfeeding wasn't common. I wasn't breastfed and I was healthy. Most kids from the 50's-70's or so were bottlefed and at that time doctors were saying formula was good. I think it should be a choice whether to breast feed or formula feed.

 

Also, I was reading something that stated many of the breastfeeding stats were over exaggerated because many of the women they've studied were more educated or affluent. If two smart people have a baby that's bottlefed I'm sure it will be healthier than a breastfed baby of a mother who wasn't healthy and smart.

[OptomisticGirl]

See that is just disgusting women would attack other women like that. Let some woman tell me I'm a bad mother for giving my child formula, I'll give her a piece of my mind. It's the same with women breast feeding in public. A few months ago I was in the health department and this lady was there and her appt was 45 mins over (for some reasons all our appts were backed up). Her one month old child started crying, she discredtly put a blanket over and me and another woman helped shield her so she could get the baby latched (this was while we were standing in line) and the teller told her she couldn't feed her child. I was what?!?!!

[newwave]

See that is just disgusting women would attack other women like that. Let some woman tell me I'm a bad mother for giving my child formula, I'll give her a piece of my mind. It's the same with women breast feeding in public. A few months ago I was in the health department and this lady was there and her appt was 45 mins over (for some reasons all our appts were backed up). Her one month old child started crying, she discredtly put a blanket over and me and another woman helped shield her so she could get the baby latched (this was while we were standing in line) and the teller told her she couldn't feed her child. I was what?!?!!

 

While personally I don't like when a woman breastfeeds openly (we've probably all saw women like this), women who do it like the one you mentioned doesn't bother me at all. Actually the ones who are open about it I just ignore too but personally if I breastfed I would be discrete. I believe it's all a woman's choice but it seems (this going by what I've seen) there are more breastfeeding zealots than formula ones. I've heard a few stories of women being told they are bad mothers for even attempting and not finishing.

[OptomisticGirl]

I agree, if you just whip a boob out I"m gonna be like, ummmm??? And some women can't breast feed. My mom could only breast feed us for three months, she just couldn't produce enough and we weren't getting the nutrien or whatever that we needed.

[newwave]

My mom didn't even try. She thought it was gross and thought bottle was better. I don't think that made her a bad mother at all and most of my friends were bottlefed (this was the trend in the 70's). In fact most of the women I've known who nursed were bottlefed. There's many reasons why breastfeeding likely woldn't work for me and I don't think this makes me a bad person at all. Of course this could all change if I have a kid but I doubt it.

[Unknown1607307972]

I see no harm in a woman breastfeeding in public in the manner OG described. It's not like she's shoving her boobs in people's faces, she has a blanket hiding everything for god's sake and it's hardly a sexual thing in any way.

 

As for the horrible breastfeeding-nazis who tell women they are bad mothers for not doing it...they are the ones who should be ashamed! Sure breast milk is designed to give a baby everything they need but it doesn't mean that bottle fed children are going to be weak, sickley, unhealthy and unloved due to the lack of "bonding". I don't think it makes a big difference personally due to the bottle fed people I've met who are perfectly healthy and normal and were for their whole lives. I most likely will never have kids but if I did I would bottle feed them. I just feel uncomfortable with myself breastfeeding (not because of sexual things, but because I am very weird about my body and I also wouldn't want to be the sole person responsible for feeding the baby...my boyfriend would have equal responsibility with formula). There are many things I feel I would screw up if I had kids but bottle feeding is one thing I would not feel ashamed of. Anyone who dared tell me it was that which made me a horrible mother would feel the intense wrath of my firey temper and strangers usually don't see that side of me!

[BrandyGirl]

I feel people should only have kids, when preparations for them are made. Making sure, they will succeed in life and they are priority.

[rocio]

I feel people should only have kids, when preparations for them are made. Making sure, they will succeed in life and they are priority.

 

That sounds great but life doesn't always go as planned.

 

To answer the original question, I always knew I wanted to have kids.

[sweetpea03]

I feel people should only have kids, when preparations for them are made. Making sure, they will succeed in life and they are priority.

 

That would be ideal, but that doesn't always happen or isn't always possible. Birth control is not 100%, so there are a lot of 'oops' that happen to couples and they wind up being parents earlier than expected.

[OptomisticGirl]

I feel people should only have kids, when preparations for them are made. Making sure, they will succeed in life and they are priority.

 

There is never a perfect time to have children...

[Batya33]

There is never a perfect time to have children...

 

No but there are definitely times that are better than others - those who use that cliche to justify having a child during a very bad time do everyone a disservice. I think adults still have the responsibility to do their best to plan the right time/environment in which to have a child.

[OptomisticGirl]

No but there are definitely times that are better than others - those who use that cliche to justify having a child during a very bad time do everyone a disservice. I think adults still have the responsibility to do their best to plan the right time/environment in which to have a child.

 

Of course there is. If you have barely two pennies to rub together you shouldn't have children. However, if you can comfortably raise your children (at say my age or a few year older) and can adequately provide for them and you aren't bringing them into a troubled relationship, I classify that as 'there is never a perfect time to have children'. People should never just have a child when they can't afford them or to try to 'patch' a relationship up.

[Unknown1607307972]

Sometimes children are unplanned, such as myself. People shouldn't have to give up their child if they really don't want to just because they are young or don't have much money. What matters is that theparents accept that they must be responsible and work to provide for this child. Having little money doesn't make a bad upbringing as long as they are given what they need and loved.

[Batya33]

Of course there is. If you have barely two pennies to rub together you shouldn't have children. However, if you can comfortably raise your children (at say my age or a few year older) and can adequately provide for them and you aren't bringing them into a troubled relationship, I classify that as 'there is never a perfect time to have children'. People should never just have a child when they can't afford them or to try to 'patch' a relationship up.

 

Right and that is why I disagreed with your generalization. If I agreed I would have tried to get pregnant about 15 years earlier than I did because I would have prioritized my biological clock over the best interests of the child (as I defined it) with the justification "there is never a perfect time to have a child". Thanks for clarifying that you too believe that there are better times than others to have or adopt a child.

[superfox]

If you didn't want kids - did you always know?

Yep, could never imagine having them ever. Not interested in any way, never played with dolls or 'mummies and daddies'.

Did you ever doubt yourself?

When I was in my later 20's I kind of thought, 'hmm...what if...'

Why didn't you want kids?

Didn't like them much and I was far too selfish.

 

So I came off the pill. Didn't get pregnant, THAT worried me after all the scare stories. Went to docs after 2 years, got diagnosed PCOS, went on a course of tablets and fell pregnant immediately at 30. Was convinced throughout pregnancy that I wouldn't be one of those mums and I'd be off out and travelling and whatever. Gave birth and fell in love - all plans out the window, my choice!

 

I have 3 now. Still don't much like 'other peoples children' but mine are my life. I'm far from conventional and officially the coolest mum around 8)

But no, it was never in my life plan.

[Applewhite]

Wow, but how, WHY did you suddenly change your mind and have not one but THREE kids????