Thekid55's Healing Journal

[oasisrob22]

Finance big-timers. I'm getting set to study for the CFP, first I'm going to obtain my Series 7 and 63.

[WhatSetsUs]

Hey kid,

 

I read this whole thing man. I just gotta commend you for your relatively quick growth over the past couple months. Our situations are somewhat close, mainly cause we're the same age. You have the advantage of being the "good guy" in your relationship. You did absolutely everything you could for this girl, and it seems like she took your love for granted. I was the one who took my girl for granted. I didnt treat her as well as I could have and many times, when I coudlve done the right thing, I choose not to. I wish I had something to be mad at my ex for, but unfortunately I dont, and its making me feel a lot of regret about how I handled myself during the relationship. Take advantage of finally understanding that she is a flawed girl, cause anger is a lot easier to manage than guilt and regret.

[thekid55]

It's normal to blame yourself. Hell, I've done it for 2 months. But you also have to realize that you did all that you can for that person. It's time to keep growing as an individual and to stop looking for all of the answers. Keep improving yourself daily. Surround yourself with people who love you.

 

The answers will come to light when you least expect them too. That's how it happens. That's how it HASTA happen.

[thekid55]

Had a very interesting night tonight.

 

A girl from my past (who I never dated, hooked up with etc, but have known for about 8 years), has been messaging me sporadically since I've been single. She has definitely stepped up her game, physically.

 

Her was just some of the convo tonight...

 

Her: 'Hey when do you get home?'

Me: 'I'll be back after New Years'

Her: 'You better save some time for me '

Me: I'll try to fit you in.

 

Then she started tell me about how she told her parents (who love me, by the way) about me, saying how well I was doing, how successful I am. They suggested that she marry me as soon as possible.

 

Her: 'You better keep in me in mind. I know you want a hot wife and I can give you what you want'.

Me: 'Haha. I will keep that in mind'

Her: 'I always go for losers and you are honestly like, the perfect guy'

Me: 'You are making my blush'

Her: 'You are so adorable. Why did I ever let you out of my life?'

Me: 'I can't answer that one for ya'

Her: 'Well, I will never let that happen again'

 

So there you go. Great ego boost. Definitely a candidate to hang out with. I saw her at this bar during Thanksgiving break and she kept telling me how hot I looked and how much I changed.

 

I'm starting to forget my ex's name..

[MakeItCount]

Bahahaha, that's amazing. Did ya see that one coming? Rock on brother, your sig is starting to really take life

[SA2000]

All of the sudden they start creeping out of the woodwork. Gotta love that.

[thekid55]

Copied and pasted this from another thread I had.

 

I met this new girl a few months ago, but I've really gotten to know her now. The girl is really in my wheelhouse in terms of looks, personality, etc.

 

Here it is:

 

"About two months ago, I was introduced to this girl. Very cute girl, extremely nice, etc. I was nice back, but really didn't know anything about her. From first meeting her, I could tell that she was attracted to me (kept looking at me, smiling, playing with her hair, etc).

 

Yesterday, a buddy of mine had me, this girl (we'll call her Suzy) and this other girl (Vernonica) up to house for a basketball game. Suzy and I met up at my apartment and took the train up to my buddy's house. We instantly hit it off, had great conversation, and spent the entire 2.5 hour train ride engaged in conversation.

 

She has no baggage (no boyfriend, no ex, no flings going on, etc). She has been single for the last 2 years and has really been diving into her studies (like I have), but she still likes to go out on the weekends, etc.

 

Naturally, I am a very jokey/funny type of guy. I was constantly joking around with her, teasing her, etc. When we got off the train and met up with my buddy, I made this huge, funny story up about Suzy and how she was late, etc. Everyone started laughing and we had a great time.

 

We get to the basketball game and I purposely root for the team playing her team so I have more ammo. We are joking the entire time. We are drinking (She wasn't drinking heavily like I was; she may have had one drink the entire time) and she keeps flirting with me, teasing me, etc. After the game (my team lost, btw), we got out to this bar. On the way there, she clutches onto my arm for 2-3 minutes as we walk to the bar. We get into the bar and we were still flirting/joking/etc. I purposely tell her not to 'invade my space' and stay on 'her side of the bar' and of course, she breaks it. And even gives me a 'scale' of how much she 'hates me' as she tells me this while laughing. She always made a point to sit next to me when there were plenty of open spots elsewhere. I didn't try to kiss her or anything.

 

So today, we all didn't sleep very much and everyone was tired. Her and I ride back on the train together again. The convo wasn't as fluid because there's only so much you can talk about, but we still talked about silly past relationships. (She apparently knew that I got out of one about 3 months ago). I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said no. She kind of giggled and asked me if I had a gf and I said no. She kept apologizing that she wasn't 'acting like herself' and that she was tired from the night before.

 

Finally, we get back to my apartment where she can grab her car to head home. I ask her if she wants a water for the ride. She comes in and grabs one. I live in a townhouse and I ask her if she wants to see the rest of it. She declines, kind of laughs it off (no one else was home) and just wishes me a Merry Christmas, gives me a hug, and leaves. I didn't want her to think I was trying to hook up with her when I wasn't at all because I know she's not that type of girl.

 

I treated her like a total gentleman on this trip. I helped her put her bag up in storage, bought one of her drinks, etc. I didn't go overboard or anything, but she knew that I respected her and that I was interested.

 

I guess my ego is a little battered since I dealt with my ex's crap for such a long time. I felt a little rejected that she didn't want to see the rest of the apartment, but at the same time, she probably didn't want to hook up right away and come off as 'easy' or only sees me as a friend.

 

We are both graduating in May and have told each other that the spring semester is going to be really fun. (We are both going on the same Spring Break trip).

 

Do you think this girl is interested? Or do you think she was just being nice/flirty and wants to be friends?"

[C_Unknown2005]

Just take your time and good things will happen.

[thekid55]

This link makes perfect sense and basically nails it for me. Even without realize it, I was doing all of the following...

 

link removed

[ToF]

Whew, if a guy laid on the teasing that thick with me, I'd be forced to walk away.

 

But I get your meaning.

[thekid55]

Whew, if a guy laid on the teasing that thick with me, I'd be forced to walk away.

 

But I get your meaning.

 

Yeah see, that's the thing. Some of the stuff that he writes makes sense, however, no one could keep that up for a relationship. I mean, that stuff works if you are interested in hookups, one nighters, etc.

[ToF]

Yeah see, that's the thing. Some of the stuff that he writes makes sense, however, no one could keep that up for a relationship. I mean, that stuff works if you are interested in hookups, one nighters, etc.

 

Exactly. It comes off as way too arrogant and immature in my opinion, but I bet some girls are into it.

[thekid55]

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

Of course the stupid ex texts me this morning:

 

'Merry Christmas! Hope you have a great day. Let your family know that my family says Merry Christmas!'

 

Not responding.

[thekid55]

I ended up texting the new girl tonight...

 

Me: 'Hopefully Santa brought your presents in a bag as big as the one you brought on the trip. Merry Christmas'

 

(She brought this overly large bag to this trip we went on last week for only one night. I made fun of her constantly about it)

 

Her: (A few minutes later): 'He sure did!! Hahahah! Merry Christmas!!!'

 

Slow, slow steps.

[kuteknish]

nice work.

[smurfy1988]

Swingers is a great movie, thanks for the recommendations! Do you know any similar movies? Hope all is well with you kid.

[thekid55]

Comedies are always good. I've also been trying to watch a lot of movies with overly masculine characters to 'tough' myself up when I start to feel a little stupid in the head.

[MakeItCount]

How are those masculine movies treatin' ya?

[thekid55]

Been feeling really good lately, but I got thrown a curveball today.

 

I started talking to an ex-fling from 3 years ago. I invited her over tonight to hang out, watch a movie, etc. Her and I have been out of touch for awhile. I looked on her Facebook and literally saw no sign of a boyfriend, so I thought it'd be appropriate to have her over and see what would happen..Or so I thought...

 

Well, I ended up getting played.

 

She came over, all dolled up, gave me a huge hug, etc.

 

We came inside, we were talking non-stop for like 2 hours, had a movie on and all. I move closer to her, have my arm around her for like 15 minutes. She is giving me IOIs (indictations of interest) the entire night (Flirting, hair playing, touching me, etc).

 

I go in for the kiss and she says, 'You know that I have a boyfriend right?' And I'm like 'No, I didn't know that' and She's like, 'Yeah I thought Matt (our mutual friend) told you that' and I'm like 'Nah, I never knew that'. (She didn't mention it once during the entire 2 hours beforehand when we literally talked about every other facet of our lives).

 

It got awkward for the next few minutes, but I just kinda broke the tension with more banter, joking, etc.

 

I apologized later saying like 'I'm sorry, I never would have invited you over alone if I knew you had a boyfriend, blah blah blah' She was like 'It's ok. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression, I thought we were just catching up blah blah blah'.

 

Sucks man. My confidence was sky high going into this and now this bullcrap. I wanted to text Nicole so bad tonight, but I stopped myself. Tomorrow is NYE.

 

I just feel, Played? It sucks.

 

Thought about texting my ex for literally a second, but pushed that thought from my mind.

[Carus]

Hey Kid*

 

Long time follower...first time poster...lol

 

For my ex, she was able to find love instantly..(kinda why she left)

For me its been a string of failed dates etc, and yeh after each one I find myself quite upset and feeling old emotions...

 

But everytime we hit the bottom we bounce a little higher....

 

I admire your strength. Keep walkin'

Ever Forward

K2* 8)

[blueberrypie]

Hey Kid*

But everytime we hit the bottom we bounce a little higher....

I like this.

[thekid55]

Well, it's been a crazy 2010, that's for damn sure. Since I'm going to be hammered off my a$$ in the matter of oh say 12-14 hours, I wanted to post this now and finally leave 2010 in the past.

 

I'm just sitting here and reflecting on what was one of the most defining years of my life. I dealt with death, love, sabatoge, new connections, and overall self-improvement.

 

After dealing with a cornicopia of ailments over the last 5 years, my Grandfather lost his battle with cancer in January. There was a ton of family turmoil over his care and well-being, but he ultimately ended up dying a very peaceful death. He was the first family member that I can remember dying. It was taxing emotionally at the viewing, but our family made it out much stronger. We miss him on the holidays, but always remember the good times.

 

During 2010, I landed three excellent internships at Fortune 500 companies. I don't know anyone else who can say that. I basically worked at least three days per week at each job. I gave away basically my entire summer to work this one internship that paid extremely well. I am hoping that an opportunity will present itself with this company in the future.

 

Academically, I had my two best semesters ever this year. I only have one more to go before I graduate. I'm one of the most well-respected students at my college, so it's always good when professors ask for my help with a certain project.

 

Just thinking back to April/May-ish, I realized that everything in my life was perfect. I knew this was way too good to be true. I had an excellent group of friends, great girlfriend (at the time), strong family life, and I was in the best shape of my life. Well, in May, one of my friends told me very last minute that he was transferring and basically left my other room mate and I high and dry. We eventually plugged the gap, but it hurts that a best friend would just run out on us like that.

 

As for my ex, well, I already there is already 20 pages worth of crap in here. I'm not mad at her anymore. I'm starting to creep towards indiffence. I definitely still love and care about her, but I can't keep wallowing in the mud..

 

Finally, after my ex left my life, a ton of new doors have started to open with a new life style (Going out a ton), nw friends (and girls), and just a renewed sense of life. My group of friends has always been solid, but I feel like everyone has bonded a little bit more since I have this new outlook.

 

Goals For 2011

1. Enjoy the last semester of school. I won't get another ungrad experience like this.

2. Land a job.

3. Meet, flirt, pick-up, date as many girls as possible.

4. Stuying for finance exams (CFA)

5. Keep transforming the body and mind.

6. And finally, make sure that 2011 is better than 2010.

 

Happy New Year!

[C_Unknown2005]

Kid,

Have a safe night and a good new years sir. You deserve it!

 

c

[thekid55]

NYE 2011 was literally the best night of my life.

 

I went out with nine friends (three couples and my two single buddies). We've all been friends for the last ten years so it's a chill group to go with. We went to my buddy's house for the pre-game and then we rode in a van to the club. The club was conviently located in a casino, so you know we hadda gamble for a few. I threw $50 on black in roulette and it hit! As soon as that happened, I cashed out and was ready to party.

 

Open bar lasted form 9-12 in the club and there were a ton of hot girls. The girls took a ton of pictures of me, my friends, etc. I looked great and kept getting compliments all night. My buddies and I opened a ton of sets with girls. Some girls were really good looking, but just kind of trashy.

 

I ended up meeting this one really, really hot girl. I thought she was mid-twenties, but she was 30! (And I just turned 22). She didn't have any kids, boyfriends, husbands, etc. Her and I hung out for pretty much the whole night. The funny is, I completely forgot her name throughout the night. Her and I were dancing, making out, and just having fun for the whole night. I don't even remember the ball dropping.

 

We stayed at the club from 9p to 4a. Top shelf drinks. My buddy and I are really good dancers and at one point, we had a huge circle around us in the middle of the dance floor. We were just out killing it.

 

Back to the girl I met, she was really cool and I had an easy time talking her. She kept telling me how hot I was, how much a 'baby' I was due to my age compared to her (Ha), She was a great kisser, easy to talk to. Other guys were trying to dance with her and I just stepped off of her and did my own thing. She would just give me the eyes or grab me and I'd be back with her. Actually at one point, I was 'grinding' on her. I even 'Got Low'. I was just smashed.

 

We were joking around the whole time. The club gave out party favors which included these flashy rings. We both wore them and I said that we were married. At one point, as a joke, I threw my ring accross the club and it hit the bartender. I told her that our marriage was annuled. She was shocked, but kept laughing.

 

Her and I ended up going home together. She brought me back to her hotel room, we made out for like 15 minutes and then it was like 6am and we just cuddled and fell asleep. When I woke up, she had breakfast for me and even drove me back to my friends (20 minutes away). She kept calling me sweetie, baby, etc even when she was sober. She kept saying how awesome/sweet of a guy that I was. She would tickle me, kiss me, etc. My ex really never did any of that.

 

We want to see each other again and we only live an hour or so apart. In any case, we had fun and she was so excited when I told her that I wanted to see her again. I met up with my friends again today and we went back to the casino for real this time. I won so I left NYE with a new girl, more money, and my great friends.

 

Happy 2011.

[thekid55]

Well, this one girl who has a monster crush on me invited me to go out with her and her friends tonight. I get there and she has two friends. One is ugly and the other is pretty hot. I start flirting with the hot one. She just dumped her boyfriend. Was kinda bummed, blah blah. I number closed her and I told her when she stops this boyfriend crap, we'll go out out, drink, have fun and see what the heck happens.

 

So the girl who has a crush on me kept texting me non-stop after we left the bar. Saying how great it was to see me, how good I looked, how she promises next time will be more fun (the bar we went to was dead). She kept saying that we need to get together ASAP. I told her that when she gets a free day at her apartment and grabs a bottle of wine, I'll be over. She wants me to come through next week.

 

It's almost too easy.

 

 

Oh yeah and the girl who I tried to hook up with the other who has the boyfriend. Well, she has been texting me non-stop too. She sent me a Happy New Year's text. I responded today saying stuff about my crazy night, the 30-year-old, etc. And she immediately put up the b!tch shield. Almost making it seem like she wanted me. She was really flirty through texts. I almost want to tell her to drop the boyfriend and to enjoy your last semester, but I don't want to be a douche.

 

My attitude and outlook is completely different now than it was, say a month ago.