I want to be one-step ahead...advice?

[LonelyJedi]

So, me and my ex broke up in january. We talk everyday and she always texts/IMs me first. Just recently, on June 1st...I get a text from her saying that she misses me alot and feels that she needs to try again "to see if things could be better" when she gets her car in July. I kinda believe this, because her family only has 3 cars (Brother always is out with his, Mom uses van alot, and dad is usually at work). When she has her own car, she can leave whenever and have more freedom.

 

She told me couple days ago how I am special to her. I'm the only one who "actually really cares", is never mean, always there for her, and I "help her keep her sanity", when she feels ugly or sad, she'll think of me and feel better, etc. Since school got released...she has become more attached to me. We talk everyday, and we act as though we are dating. Every night she tells me, "Sleep tight Dan. I love you". And "What ya wanna talk about babe?". She said she wants to come over my house and chill with me. By "chill" I mean hug, cuddle, kiss, etc.

 

I am planning to go along with that "chill" at my house thing. But, after we do that, ask her a couple days later saying that we should go back out again. I was also going to say "Things won't be much different than they already are, we'll just be together." (She said that exact quote herself). Two outcomes of this: (A) and (B). This is what I'm planning to do.

 

(A): If she accepts, and we go back out again, everything will be good.

 

(B): If she declines, and feeds me some bullsh*t, I was going to be short, and just say, "Okay" and then go NC.

 

Any advice or feedback on this? You guys always give me the best advice on here!

[JoshHimself]

Why rush it? I mean I wouldnt just give her the two options right away and be done with it. Keep working it will pay off in the long run. NC isnt for people working out problems. Its for people to heal, and get over it. Just chill and go with the flow

[HeartGoesOn]

I would ask her what her intentions are, before you allow her to come over to your house to "chill." This could do nothing more than set you back.

[LonelyJedi]

I would ask her what her intentions are, before you allow her to come over to your house to "chill." This could do nothing more than set you back.

 

How exactly would I do that? I know I cannot be straight forward and just ask her, but should I try and read between the lines to figure out her intentions? Or be more direct?

[HeartGoesOn]

Be direct, what have you got to lose?

[AutumnBorn]

Whatever you do, don't appear needy or wanting it too much...you don't want to spook her.

[marshmallito]

Good luck. Be direct vs don't be needy vs play it casual

 

You are already in a relationship with this girl though, communicating everyday right? It might be a bit unfair to ambush her if she thinks you have been her friend all this time, when you actually you have been using the friendship to stay close.

 

Maybe you could ask her on a date? And change it from friendship to romance that way.