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JoshHimself

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  1. JoshHimself
    Well, good job you guys who take this serious, and are doing it for yourself. I'm proud of you, I did this I think twice and became fed up, because in my heart of hearts I wasnt doing it for myself. Now, I'm doing the NC because its just to frustrating to speak to her, the only reason I know how many days its been since I have spoken to her is because I'm counting my days of being sober. Thats at 21, I was at like 21 before and broke it because she put out the bait and I jumped. Not this time, At 7, she tried, at 10, at 16, and havent heard anything from her since, maybe she got the point. I dont know, the last the NC started I was told to F-off, just because I was miserable she didnt have to be, blah. On 16 I'll always have a place in her heart, and I'm special to her. I would honestly talk to her right now if I felt like she had changed, and meant what she said. But I dont so I'll keep trucking along. Maybe one day I'll speak to her, but only on my terms. I really have no reason to post in here, because I'm not doing the challenge or anything. Like I said when I was counting them, it just became even more of an obsession. You guys hopefully differ from me, and are doing this post break up for the right reasons. Good Job guys! Keep up the good work!
  2. JoshHimself
    Thats exactly how I feel, I've had break ups where I did the NC because it was done, if I felt like there was nothing there. I'd just stop here to. And counting the days was fun at first, then it was just turning into whatever.
  3. JoshHimself
    I'm done with this whole counting days thing. I've broke it twice, so why keep posting here I'm going NIC, if she calls maybe I'll listen, depends on how I feel and whats going on. But anyways goodluck guys, be stronger then this guy here!
  4. JoshHimself
    Day 11 Blah, who cares...
  5. JoshHimself
    Double Digits again, day 10 I guess its ok, I miss her like crazy but my life is going in the right direction.
  6. JoshHimself
    Day 9, should be 21.... I really dont think this is working, I mean at first I was all positive, but the pain is just getting more intense. I dont know why I want to speak to her, or even try to reach out. I've laid everything out there for her, I've walked away nice. And I just cant get over this. Everytime I really think about her, I fall to pieces. I know I'm doing things to better myself, but I just feel so incomplete and empty without her. I mean I never really asked for a second chance. I know the mistakes we've both made, and I'm totally willing to fix everything. I mean contact has been broken, and it wasnt by me. When I did talk to her she was such an a**hole. Why wont she take my stuff to my brother? She doesnt even have to see me? If she was so sure about this whole thing wouldnt she not care? Why yell and try to fight with me? Why text me and ask me if I've said anything about her to mutual friends? Could it be she is guilty. I know right now we are in two diffrent mind sets. I'm sorta at peace with myself. I'm not questioning anything I did because I know I was wrong in so many ways. But why does she need validation, or cares what others think? I'm cracking more and more every day. I cant get rid of her out my head. I'm being punished for all my offences, I want to touch you but I'm afraid of the consequences, I want to banish you from whence you came, but your part of now, and I got myself to blame. I was saying a prayer for her and her drug problems. I guess I should pray for myself now, because this hurt is becoming to unreal.
  7. JoshHimself
    Day 8 I'm cracking, but I gotta be strong, I miss her so much, and still realise I'd do anything for her. I need help
  8. JoshHimself
    Day 7 Just another one of those days, still hard but getting easier
  9. JoshHimself
    Been at 10 before bro, it was actually easier then. I did a complete 180 since we talked, I feel like a doucher
  10. JoshHimself
    Day 6, it should be like 19 but I'm a fool, feelng good I guess. Excited for the day
  11. JoshHimself
    Just gotta keep that eye on it!
  12. JoshHimself
    Its cool that we can all vent here and share story's. Its helped me out a great deal. Thanks Brand
  13. JoshHimself
    Day 5, still the first thing on my mind when I wake up and before I go to sleep, I really hope this goes away
  14. JoshHimself
    Day 4 She text me again, I dont respond. It was hard sleeping tonight, its gotten alot colder in the past few days. And it kind of makes me cuddling and her head on my chest keeping each other warm... Lame
  15. JoshHimself
    Day 3 for the second time She tried to call me, and text me I didnt answer either. I think I got better as the day went on yesterday
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